The Bigger They Come

Cast of characters

BERTHA COOL — a sizable hunk of woman with the majesty of a snow-capped mountain and the assurance of a steam roller

DONALD LAM — her ingenious assistant, a physical weakling, but a mental giant

ELSIE BRAND — Mrs. Cool’s typist who was well versed in the art of dissembling and discretion

ALMA HUNTER — beautiful friend of Sandra Birks, who believed a woman should know her place, and stay in it

MORGAN BIRKS — an unfaithful husband being sued for what unfaithful husbands are usually being sued for

SANDRA BIRKS — wife of Morgan Birks, who believed in spreading her affections around generously

B. LEE THOMS — also known as Bleatie, Sandra’s shiftless, satirical brother, who looked for the worst in everybody

ARCHIE HOLOMAN — young, eligible doctor, supposedly one of Sandra’s numerous admirers

SALLY DURKE — blond, hard-to-get-at mistress of Morgan Birks

THE CHIEF — also known as Cunweather, a mountainous, mysterious big shot who seemed to know the why of everything

MADGE — also known as m’love, the chief’s wife — an impressive and impregnable fortress — in size and poise

FRED — a henchman with a bashed — in nose and with the speed of a deadly cobra

JUDGE RAYMOND C. OLIPHANT — an erudite judge who learned something from a witness