The Lost Coast: A Larison Short Story

The Lost Coast

The sun was setting on the redwoods and Larison thought it was time to find a place to stop. He’d been driving north from Los Angeles for ten days, sometimes moving continuously during the daylight hours, other times going not very far at all, never more than one night in the same place. He knew the people looking for him had no way to track him, but even if they did, there would inevitably be some lag between the moment they could find and fix him and the deployment of actual forces. The more he kept moving, the more any information his pursuers managed to develop would be useless by the time they could do anything to act on it.

He’d been traveling the coastal highway, but north of Westport it had turned inland, the terrain apparently too rugged for the road to continue along the Pacific, and not long after it had died without fanfare, collapsing into Route 101. He knew from the map on the passenger seat that 101, also called the Redwood Highway, would meander northwest along the King mountain range before reuniting with the Pacific somewhere north of Ferndale. The area in between, cut off from coastal access, was known colloquially as the Lost Coast, a name Larison had found strangely alluring when he’d first heard it years before. He imagined black sand beaches, prehistoric redwood forests, towns as remote and strange as creatures from the Galapagos. Maybe he would spend a few days in the area, passing through disconnected burgs like Petrolia and Honeydew and Shelter Cove, dots on the map next to him. He felt secretly pleased at the notion of a man like himself disappearing in a place that by its name declared it couldn’t be found.

A road sign told him he was thirty miles from Arcata. He’d never been there, but he knew of it. An old mining and then timber nexus on Arcata Bay, now mostly a college town. He’d find a hotel that would take cash and not demand ID. If that didn’t pan out, he’d keep going and find something else. There was always another town.

It was nearly dark as he left the highway, the sliver of a crescent moon hanging low in the sky. He didn’t have a car navigation system or even a cell phone, either of which could be tracked, but he didn’t really need the technology, either. There was usually a logic in the layout of small towns, with independent restaurants and retail establishments in the center, gas stations, supermarkets, and other chains farther out, and the more sprawling single family dwellings on the periphery. Some were easier to navigate than others, but it didn’t matter one way or the other. He was rarely in a hurry.

He found his way by the usual signs to the center of Arcata, which, as it happened, was impossible to miss: a large square plaza surrounded by bars, restaurants, and small shops. At one corner was a three-story brick building he judged to be about a hundred years old. A faded sign jutting from halfway up its side proclaimed that this was the Hotel Arcata.

He might have driven back to the periphery and found a more anonymous chain establishment, but there was something about the hotel that he liked, something that struck him as simultaneously stalwart and seedy. Certainly it didn’t look like the kind of place where anyone would ask a lot of questions.

He drove slowly around the plaza, logging his surroundings. Four bars alongside the hotel, the buildings mostly one or at most three stories, the clapboard facades against surrounding hills all straight out of the gold rush. Clusters of hobos, some standing, some sprawled on benches, looking in their languorous ease at least semi-permanent. College kids, from the signs Larison had seen probably from Humboldt State University, aping the hobos’ style, tooling around on skateboards and mountain bikes, probably stoned from good, locally-grown Humboldt County weed. He thought about scoring some himself and momentarily longed for a relaxing, solitary high, but knew he couldn’t. He needed to stay sharp. Just in case.

No sense in allowing anyone to connect him to the vehicle, so he found an unregulated stretch of street a half mile from the hotel and parked there. He got out and started walking away from the hotel. No one was watching him, but if they were, they’d describe him heading in the wrong direction. In a few blocks, he’d turn and start to move obliquely toward his intended destination. He didn’t mind the walk. It had been a long drive and the early evening was pleasantly cool. He watched his breath fogging in the moist air and enjoyed the scent of the nearby forest. Outside the town center, the streets were exceptionally quiet, even lonely, the evening mist swirling slowly under intermittent lamplights. Other than the soft crunch of his boots on the sidewalk there was no sound at all.

The entrance to the hotel was a step back in time: an intricately tiled floor; a great, winding staircase; lights the hue of candles strung in a line along the ceiling. The clerk, pony-tailed, bearded, and pierced through his left nostril, offered no objections to Larison’s story about the loss of a wallet and accompanying ID. Maybe the situation struck the guy as strange, but so what? If anyone asked, he would describe a solid man of about forty, dark hair, dark skin, a stubble of beard, and Larison doubted whether after the passage of a few hours or a day the guy would be able to offer even that much. The guy accepted cash for a single night in a second-floor room as Larison requested, gave Larison an old-fashioned key on a chain, and bid him a good evening.

Larison took the stairway to the second floor and let himself into the room without turning on the light. He closed the door behind him, double locked it, and crossed the short distance to the large windows. He noted that, unlike what was commonly found in more modern hotel fare, these windows were designed to be raised completely, and he opened each to confirm. He looked down and saw a closed Dumpster in the alley directly below him. In a pinch, he’d be able to hang from the window and jump, which was why he’d wanted this floor. Low enough to get down from; too high to easily get into. Of course, the people he was up against would know to have the alley covered while they breached the front door, but it could never hurt to have more options. At a minimum, the presence of an escape hatch would compel them to divide their forces, improving his odds of blitzing through the segment attacking at the door or through the segment covering the alley.

But he reminded himself that no one had followed him, no one knew he was here. The precautions were smart, but in the end, they wouldn’t be necessary. And Arcata itself was a sleepy little town. He wasn’t going to have any trouble here.

He closed the windows, then the blinds, and then turned on the lights. The room was Spartan: a single bed under a faded spread; a tiny nightstand hosting a plastic alarm clock; a rickety-looking wooden table and matching chair. It was fine. It was all he needed.

He went to the bathroom and flicked on the light. Just a pygmy-sized toilet, sink, and a claw foot tub with a curtain wrapped around it so it could double as a shower. He removed from the cross-draw shoulder holster the Glock C18C machine pistol he always kept at hand and placed it on the toilet tank within easy reach. Then he took a toothbrush and travel-sized toothpaste from his pocket and brushed his teeth. Everything else he had with him, and it wasn’t much — just a second pair of jeans, a few clean shirts, and a half dozen pairs of socks and underwear — were in the trunk of the car. Enough to keep going for at least a week before it was time to look for a coin-operated laundry. If he ever had to bug out, he didn’t want to have to come back to a hotel room, or leave anything behind if he couldn’t.

When he was done with his teeth, he undressed and took a long, hot shower. Then he got dressed again, holstered the Glock under his dark wool jacket, checked the Emerson Commander BTS folding knife in his front jeans pocket, hung the Do Not Disturb sign from the doorknob, and went down to the lobby. He’d noticed a sushi restaurant called Tomo there on the way in, and sushi sounded as good as anything else for dinner. He sat at the bar and ordered miso soup, edamame, an unagi handroll, and toro sashimi. The décor was utterly ersatz — Larison had been to Japan — but the food was good enough.

He paid cash when he was done and returned to the lobby, planning to take the stairs back to his room. The less he went out, the less likely it was that he would be seen by anyone who might recognize him. A pretty remote chance, of course, but when you’ve managed to fake your own death, there wasn’t much available explanation in the event of a unlucky encounter. The only real possibility—you must be confusing me with someone else—would almost certainly be insufficient to avoid the one person mentioning it to another, and then another, until the information reached the ears of someone in the organization who would act on it.

Still, he paused in the antique lobby, the thought of returning to the dreary little room suddenly unappealing. Who could possibly recognize, or even notice him, in the sleepy town of Arcata, perched on the edge of the Lost Coast like a ship becalmed in the Bermuda Triangle? He decided the hell with it, a walk around the plaza if nothing else. After all, when would he ever be back here? He chuckled at that, because with the kind of animosity he had riled up, the likelihood was that he would never be back anywhere, let alone Arcata. He might as well enjoy a quiet night out. It would be boring, but less boring than lying awake on the bed in that small room, eyes open in the dark, waiting for sleep, afraid of the dreams.

He went out. The smell of the forest was gone here, obliterated by the dank lees of cigarette smoke and spilled beer and wet tobacco. He crossed the street to the plaza, made a right, and walked slowly along. Many of the hobos were laughing and talking boisterously as he approached, but as he neared they grew quiet and averted their eyes, saying nothing, not even a request for spare change, as though he were a jungle cat they hoped by their sudden stillness might overlook them and choose some other prey.

He walked the perimeter of the plaza, then crossed the street back to the entrance to the hotel. He almost went inside, but paused, again gripped by restlessness, some vestigial need to see something, connect with something, in the world outside another anonymous room in another random town.

He walked slowly down the neon-dim sidewalk, parting the knots of pierced and long-haired college kids, barely noticing the unconscious discomfort that settled into the features of some of them at his approach and evaporated as suddenly in his wake. He was used to the reaction. Even when he wasn’t trying, even when he was trying not to, there was something about him that scared people. Most of them didn’t even understand why. But he did. They sensed the things he had done.

Which was why he mostly steered clear of bars. Ordinarily, the low level predators knew from a single sniff to steer clear of him, but a little liquid courage sometimes made people stupid. Plus he’d had a bad experience in a bar once, or rather, outside one. He was a teenager at the time, tough but stupid, and it had been three on one. They’d fucked him up pretty hard, and he still had a long scar at his hairline where they’d split his scalp and hearing loss in one ear from a concussion to remind him of that evening. He’d never caught up with them, and even now, all these years later, he sometimes still wished he could.

The first place he passed, Sidelines, was an obvious college meat market, loud and overcrowded. The second, The Alibi, looked as much restaurant as bar, and he’d already eaten. The third, Toby and Jack’s, had an impenetrable brick front that felt like a penitentiary. He wasn’t comfortable entering a room he couldn’t first look into, so he skipped this one, too. The fourth, Everett’s, looked okay. He stood in the doorway, his eyes scanning the room. The bouncer, a beefy, mustached man on a stool just inside the door, watched him but said nothing. After a moment, Larison gave him a collegial nod, having already determined how he would kill the man if it came to that, and moved inside.

It was nothing fancy, a honky-tonk more than a bar. Wood-paneled walls, dim lighting, a pool table, a few tables, a couch. Over the hubbub of laughter and conversation, a jukebox was playing Bob Dylan, Shelter from the Storm. The walls were lined with the stuffed heads of animals: a bison, a bear, a gigantic ten-point buck. He estimated about forty people at the bar and at the tables, and that the place could accommodate maybe twice that if no one was paying overly close attention to fire code limits.

He took an empty bar stool and scanned the room more closely. A guy in riding leathers and a greasy ponytail was running the pool table with strong, confident strokes. Another guy, similarly attired, sat watching the first guy, pool cue in hand, looking unhappy, perhaps at the thought of the money he was about to lose in a bet. He caught Larison’s eye and gave him a hard look. Larison didn’t return the look, exactly, at least not in kind. Instead, he just gazed at the guy impassively, feeling nothing, as though the guy were something inanimate Larison might if so inclined disassemble and explore. After a moment, the guy looked back to the pool table, apparently having decided pool was the safer game to play.

One of the bartenders came over, a blond, fifty-something woman with no-nonsense eyes but a warm enough smile. “What can I get you?” she said.

Larison glanced at the taps. “Steelhead.”

She filled a glass, cutting off the flow at just the right instant to prevent the foam from spilling over, and set the glass on the bar in front of him. “Four dollars.”

Larison gave her a five, then left the one she returned to him on the bar. He took a long swallow of the beer and was pleased at how good it was. Something local, he supposed.

The bartender looked at him. “Where are you from?”

Larison was surprised. The bar was crowded, and while she wasn’t alone, it didn’t look like the kind of night where the bartenders could afford to spend time chatting up their customers.

He took another swallow of beer. “San Francisco.”

She gave him a quizzical look. “Pretty long way from San Francisco.”

He shrugged. “Worth the trip.”

“What brings you to Arcata?”

“Just needed to get away for a while.” He glanced at the walls, and to change the subject said, “Are you the hunter?”

She smiled. “No, that would be my daddy. He bought this place in 1959 and I took it over ten years ago. Do you hunt?”

Larison had to resist the urge to smile. He said, “I used to.”

A bearded guy halfway down the bar held up his empty glass and called out, “Linda!” The bartender glanced over and nodded. Larison said, “Well, it was good talking to you, Linda.”

“Yes, it was.” She held out her hand. “And you are…?”

“Dave,” he said, shaking her hand. It was close enough to the truth. He had more answers if she had more questions, his legends so well-practiced he sometimes had trouble telling them from the real thing, but the bearded guy, who had apparently had too much to drink, again called out, “Linda!” and Larison was suddenly alone again.

He turned around on the stool and faced the room again, ignoring the pool players because his point had been made and there was nothing to be gained by fucking with them. He noticed a kid with short brown hair sitting alone at one of the tables, nursing a beer. There was something reserved and gentle about him, which was why Larison hadn’t noticed him initially. He always keyed first on potential problems.

He looked a little closer. The kid had beautifully smooth skin, full lips, a healthy bloom of red in his cheeks. More clean-cut than the others of similar age Larison had seen in the area, but still probably just another Humboldt State college student. He noticed Larison looking at him, looked away, then looked back. It was hard to tell from across the room, but Larison could have sworn the kid had blushed.

This wasn’t a good idea. He’d taken enough chances already tonight, coming to the bar, pinging the local tough guys, conversing with the bartender. Picking up some college kid on top of it seemed like really pushing his luck.

Still, the kid was so his type. The hair, the complexion, the soft features. He imagined the kid on his knees in front of him and felt himself becoming aroused.

The kid looked away again, then back. What the hell, it couldn’t hurt to just say hello. Maybe the kid wasn’t even gay. But what felt more likely, somehow, was that he was and just didn’t know it, and the thought of that aroused Larison even more.

He got up and walked over. The kid watched him approach, looking both pleased and nervous. God, Larison hadn’t run into anyone like this in forever. Fuck it. This was worth taking some chances.

He stopped in front of the table and said, “You’re from Humboldt State, am I right?”

The kid smiled uncertainly, and Larison was knocked out. It was such an innocent smile, so unspoiled and unsullied. Larison might have had a smile like that himself, a million years earlier, before all the things he’d encountered that gave him his scary rictus instead.

“Yeah, how’d you know?” the kid said. The voice soft, pleasing.

“I saw the signs when I came in from the highway. I didn’t know there was a state school this far north.”

“Yeah, we’re the furthest north in the system. You thinking about applying?”

Larison was about twenty years older than the kid, and if the tone had been different, the question could have come across as mocking. Instead, it felt… flirtatious. He liked that the kid seemed not to be scared of him. “I’m not sure. You think I’d like it?”

This time the kid blushed for sure. “I… I don’t know. I mean, it’s a good college. The people are cool. Who are you, anyway? What are you doing in Arcata?”

“Just a stop on a long trip down the coast, dealing with customer complaints.”

“What kind of customers?”

Larison had a whole backstopped story he could have unspooled, but he didn’t feel like it. If this wasn’t going to end the way he hoped, he didn’t want to waste any more time. He took a sip of beer and said, “The kind who’ve bought expensive data mining software and are disappointed to find out the applications don’t do what they’re supposed to.”

“Sounds like you spend a lot of time with unhappy people.”

“Yeah, but I try not to let it get me down.” He took another sip of beer and said, “You alone here?”

“Got some friends probably swinging by later.” For whatever reason, he didn’t sound happy about it.

“Can I ask you a question?”

The kid nodded. “Sure.”

“If I wanted to pick up a little local Humboldt County produce — you know, just something to help me kick back and relax after a day of dealing with unhappy customers — do you know of anywhere I could do that?”

The kid looked suddenly uneasy. “How do I know you’re not a cop?”

For the second time that night, Larison had to resist the urge to laugh. “I look like a cop to you?”

The kid nodded. “There’s something serious about you. And I can tell you’re in shape.”

Larison was glad he’d noticed. “You must not know too many cops.”

“What do you do? Weights? Seriously, you’re pretty… big.”

Christ, was the kid flirting, or just incredibly innocent? Either way, it was a turn-on.

“I do a little something different every day. But come on, can you help me out? I’m not a cop. Where do I go?”

The kid was quiet for a moment, then he said, “What’s your name?”

“Dave. And you?”

“I’m Seth.”

“Well, Seth?”

“I guess… I guess I know a few guys on campus.”

“Far from here?”

The kid shook his head. “Maybe a mile.”

Larison felt a little warmth spread out in his gut. “If I pick something up, will you share it with me?”

The kid looked at Larison, something suddenly eager in his eyes. He said, “Sure. Okay.”

No doubt, this was shaping up to be a very fine evening. There were risks, yeah, but sometimes the reward was worth it.

Larison finished his beer in a swallow. “Do we walk?”

“We could. But I’m parked out back. I know, lazy.”

Larison imagined parking on some quiet street under the shadow of the redwoods, the vehicle’s interior illuminated only by the glow of a shared joint, the feeling close, comfortable. Most of all, private. People lost their inhibitions in the dark, when they knew they were in a place where no one else could see them, when they couldn’t see themselves. The kid would get high, he’d feel relaxed… he’d let himself do what he’d secretly always wanted to. Larison felt his heartbeat kick up a notch. He said, “Sure, let’s take your car.”

They walked out, past the pool players, the bouncer, the hobos shifting around outside. They made a right, then another at the corner, moving along the sidewalk, not talking. Larison felt nervousness coming off the kid in waves and it excited him. He wondered if it was possible it was the kid’s first time. Christ, what a thought.

The sidewalk was dark, parked cars to their left, the solid façade of the building to their right. A short funnel of sorts, the kind of terrain Larison always instinctively avoided because it was too easy for the opposition to close off both ends and squeeze, as well as being popular with ordinary muggers, too. But no one knew he was here, and he pitied the random mugger who might try to rob him.

They came to an alley and made a right. Now they were behind the bar; further down, at the other end of the alley, was the back of the hotel. A few lights along the building façade to their right provided a feeble, yellowish glow, casting shadows under the Dumpsters and garbage cans lined up beneath. To their left was a single-story, freestanding shack, apparently a small office of some kind.

Halfway down the alley, a guy in a hoodie and lumberjack boots was leaning against the building, a cigarette burning in his hand. Larison logged him reflexively, noting long, greasy hair and a bad case of acne. A cook or bartender, ducking out back from one of the bars for a tobacco break? Maybe, but he wasn’t near a door. And he was watching them, not with idle curiosity or bored disinterest, but with a kind of focus Larison didn’t like at all. The hobos he’d seen out front had felt like regulars. They wouldn’t try to rob someone so close to where the cops would roust them for questioning. A drifter, like himself? Maybe. But he looked more like a student. Which would have downgraded him on Larison’s threat assessment scale, but there was that focused way he was watching them.

They made a left past the shack, stepping off the paved alley and onto bare gravel. Larison didn’t like that their footfalls were now causing audible crunching while the guy against the wall would be able to approach quietly from behind. He glanced back and sure enough, the guy had come off the wall and was moving in their direction. He was holding something long in one hand — a lead pipe, Larison thought. Which meant he didn’t have a gun. Ordinarily, this could have been fun, in a retard-brings-a-pipe-to-a-gunfight kind of way, but tonight it was a problem. The bouncer had seen his face, twice. He’d actually talked to the bartender. And of course there was Seth. Whatever happened, he couldn’t just shoot someone. He couldn’t kill anyone, period.

There was a faded wooden shed on their right, a small parking lot with a half dozen cars, one of them presumably Seth’s, just beyond it. Larison was about to warn Seth there was going to be trouble and pull him around to the other side of the shed, from where Larison would be able to ambush the guy with the pipe, when another guy in a hoodie stepped out from the spot where Larison had been planning to go. This one, too, gripped a pipe. He smacked it against his palm and grinned, revealing a set of crooked teeth. “What the fuck do we have here?” he said in a weirdly squeaky voice.

Larison stopped short and resisted the urge to create distance and draw the Glock. The pieces all fell instantly into place: Not muggers. Muggers don’t display pipes because a pipe isn’t a psychologically terrifying weapon. And a mugger’s interview opens with a distraction question or victim-suitability-test question—hey man, got a light? Hey man, you know how to get to 8^th Street? — not with an overt challenge. No. Not a mugging, just a game of Bash the Fag, and shy, sweet-faced Seth, or whatever the fuck his name really was, with that beautiful smile and eyes that had flashed eagerness at the prospect of leaving the bar with an interested stranger, was the bait.

All of which Larison understood in less time than it had taken Squeaky to finish talking. And he understood, too, from that time when he was a teenager, that the object of the game for these guys wasn’t just to inflict a beating. That was the actual act, yes, but they would also want to enjoy the foreplay of fear and humiliation.

Which was a shame for them, really. Because Larison had never been into foreplay. He was all about getting straight to the main event.

He heard footsteps on the gravel behind him. In his peripheral vision, Larison saw Seth edging away. Squeaky smacked the pipe against his palm again and looked past Larison at his approaching buddy. “You see this?” he said. “We’ve got—”

Larison stepped in. He swept his left hand up, outer edge forward, taking hold of the pipe alongside Squeaky’s grip, and shot a right palm heel up under Squeaky’s jaw. Squeaky’s head snapped back and Larison raked his eyes with his fingers, simultaneously twisting the pipe counterclockwise, ripping it free from his grip. Squeaky made a weird squawking sound and Larison changed direction with the pipe, getting his shoulder under it, bringing it up like a surface-to-air missile and stabbing it into Squeaky’s balls. Squeaky rose up on his toes from the force of the impact and the breath was driven out of him. His eyes bulged so violently that if Larison hadn’t known better he would have thought they might pop out.

Larison pulled back the pipe as though reversing a sword thrust and spun to face the first guy. Acne Boy’s face was a mask of confusion and fear. He had skidded to a halt when he saw what happened to his buddy, and was now starting frantically to back peddle. Which he was able to do only at about twenty percent of Larison’s forward speed. In other words, too slow.

Larison switched the pipe to his right hand and felt himself grinning. He reminded himself he had to hold back. Hurt them, yes, fuck them up badly, but he couldn’t leave any bodies. Acne Boy saw the grin and the fear in his face turned to terror. He dropped his pipe and started to spin counterclockwise but Larison was already on him, swinging the pipe in hard like a tennis forehand shot, the sweet spot smashing into the guy’s leading kneecap and turning it into jelly. Acne Boy howled in agony and collapsed. He rolled onto his back, gripping his ruined knee, and sucked in a huge, gasping breath. Before the breath could be converted into another scream, Larison jammed the pipe down into his face. It caught him in the mouth, plowed through all his teeth, and shut him the fuck up completely.

Larison turned back toward Squeaky, who was on his hands and knees, vomiting. Seth watched, transfixed, then started backing away, plainly petrified. “Don’t hurt me,” he said. “I didn’t—”

Larison came in close. “You didn’t what?”

“I didn’t… I didn’t know—”

Larison blasted an uppercut into his stomach. The breath whistled out of the kid’s mouth and he dropped to his knees, gasping.

Larison walked over to Squeaky, who was puking so hard he seemed oblivious to Larison’s approach. He reminded himself again not to kill anyone. He considered the way he’d just disfigured Acne Boy. It hadn’t been wise — cops would overlook a fight, but mayhem like what he had just done was unusual and would get more attention — but it wasn’t like he could take it back now. Anyway, as long as there was no body, an investigation would only go so far, especially for lowlifes like these. Besides, they had no way to track him.

He stood over Squeaky’s back, avoiding the vomit, waiting for the retching to subside. He thought in for a penny and launched a palm heel into the back of the guy’s skull. It was a knockout blow and Squeaky duly collapsed face-first into the gravel, his brain having just been jostled unforgivably hard within its small cushion of cerebrospinal fluid. Larison took hold of the back of the guy’s hoodie, dragged him face forward over to the strip of concrete a row of cars was backed up against, and placed his open mouth on the edge of it. He stood and stomped the back of Squeaky’s head, a short, controlled shot just hard enough to cause an explosion of teeth and gum matter. Then he jellified one of Squeaky’s knees with the pipe, just as he’d done to the other guy.

Larison walked back to Seth. The kid was still on his knees, trying to recover his breath. Larison looked around. No one was coming. The single scream one of them had gotten off hadn’t been enough to get past the walls and the music playing in the bars within.

“How many?” Larison said, wiping the pipe down on his jacket sleeve.

Seth’s breath heaved in and out. “How many… what do you mean?”

“How many times have you done this? You and your buddies.”

“Never! I mean, I didn’t want to. They made me.”

Larison held the end of the pipe from inside his jacket pocket, wiped a last spot, and let it drop to the gravel. It landed with a heavy thud.

“How many times have you done this? Tell me the truth and I won’t hurt you anymore.”

Seth looked desperate. “Three times,” he said. “But they made me. They made me. I didn’t want to. I’m sorry.”

No. Larison had seen that look in his eyes when Larison had asked him about sharing a joint. No one had forced him to do a fucking thing.

“Which car is yours?” Larison said.

“What… what do you…”

Larison unclipped the Commander and thumbed it open. The weak light glinted along the edge of the black blade. “Which. Fucking. Car. Is yours.”

Seth’s eyes bulged. “The Corolla,” he said, pointing to a dirty white four-door at the end of the lot. “The Corolla.”

Larison took a handful of the kid’s hair and put the knife at his throat. “Get up.”

“Please, don’t—”

“Shut the fuck up and walk with me to your car. We’re going to take a drive.”

Either the kid was too stupid not to know you never let someone take you to a secondary crime scene, or he was too scared to resist. Larison followed him through the passenger door. He made him put on his seatbelt, creating one more obstacle in case the kid came to his senses and tried to bolt, and told him to drive out to the edge of the redwood forest.

“Please,” the kid sobbed as they drove. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I did. I shouldn’t have.”

Larison, his hand still gripping the kid’s hair and the knife still at the kid’s throat, didn’t answer. In his mind, he thought, Not sorry enough.

They parked on a dead-end in the shadows of the giant trees, the interior of the car glowing sepia from the glare of a distant streetlight. Larison, maintaining his grip, watched the street for a few minutes. When he was confident no one had seen them, no one was around, and no one cared, he said, “Unbuckle my seatbelt. Then yours.”

“Please,” Seth said. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t make me repeat myself, Seth or whatever the fuck your name really is. It makes me angry.”

Seth undid the seatbelts.

Larison said, “Are you gay, Seth?”

“No!”

“Then why do you like to beat up gays?”

“I don’t like to!”

“So many lies, Seth. So much denial. I used to be the same. Although I never stomped anyone over it. Still, it’s always been a secret for me. A deep, dark secret I would never tell a soul. I’m only telling you because you’re a stranger and we’ll never see each other again. Isn’t that odd? I guess we have to tell someone.”

“I’m not gay.”

The dark, the privacy, the kid’s protests… the post combat aftermath. It was all turning Larison on. A lot.

“I’m going to help you through all that denial now, Seth. And here’s how. You’re going to kiss me.”

“No!”

Larison tightened his grip in the kid’s hair and pressed the knife a fraction harder against his throat. The kid whimpered.

“Lean forward, Seth, and open your mouth.”

The kid was shaking, but he complied. Larison, so turned on his heart was pounding, pressed his mouth over the kid’s, keeping the kid’s head in place with the grip he had in his hair. He pushed his tongue into the kid’s mouth and the kid moaned, in pleasure or disgust or both Larison didn’t know and didn’t care.

Larison broke the kiss and said, “Now stick out your tongue, Seth.” The kid did. Larison sucked on it. The kid tasted of alcohol and fear. The taste made Larison darkly crazy with lust.

Larison broke the kiss again. The kid was panting now. Larison could feel himself throbbing in time to it.

“Now, Seth,” Larison said, their eyes locked from inches apart. “Reach out and undo my pants.”

The kid, panting, said, “Please.”

Larison pressed the knife in and the kid cried out. “All right!” he said. “All right, I’m doing it…”

And he did. In the darkness, the sound of Larison’s zipper was huge.

“Now reach inside, Seth. Reach inside my pants and get my cock out.”

“Oh, Jesus,” Seth said. “Oh, God.” But he did it. Larison could feel the kid’s hand shaking as he gripped Larison’s cock.

“Now lean forward, Seth. That’s right, lean forward. You’re going to suck my cock, Seth or whatever the fuck your name really is. And you better leave me happy. Because if you don’t, I’m going to leave your body in this car. You understand?”

The kid nodded, eager now, maybe because he thought he saw a way out, maybe because he couldn’t help himself.

“You’re going to swallow everything I give you. Every fucking drop. You better make me happy, kid.” It wasn’t just the pleasure Larison was after. He also didn’t want to leave DNA anywhere it could easily be collected.

The kid nodded again and leaned in, Larison’s hand still gripping his hair, the knife still at his throat.

Maybe it was the kid’s fear. Maybe it was that it was that it was his first time. Whatever it was, it was the best head of Larison’s life.

When it was over, and the kid was sitting up again, gasping, Larison closed the knife and clipped it back in his pocket. He didn’t care if the kid ran now. It wouldn’t make a difference.

He redid his jeans and looked at the kid. “That’s what you were so afraid of,” he said. “That’s the thing you couldn’t face about yourself. Well, now you know.”

The kid, still panting, didn’t answer.

Larison said, “Now you don’t have to help your fucked-up friends jump faggots you meet in bars. Not that they’re ever going to be in a condition to again, but still.”

Again, the kid said nothing. Larison supposed he was in shock. He opened the glove compartment and found the registration.

“How do you like that,” he said. “Your name really is Seth. And now I know where you live, too. So God help you if I ever hear of a fag beating anywhere near the Lost Coast.”

“You won’t,” Seth said. “I promise.”

Larison wondered. “Get out of the car,” he said. “I’m going to drive it back into town. I’ll leave it near the plaza somewhere. You’ll have to look around, but you’ll find it. The keys will be under the front driver-side tire.”

The kid got out of the car and stood there, looking confused and afraid and forlorn. Larison slid over to the driver’s seat. He turned the key and the engine coughed to life.

He reached for the door handle and looked at the kid. “If I ever,” he said again. In the circles he was accustomed to, threats made you sound weak. But the kid wasn’t of that world.

The kid shook his head quickly. “I won’t. I won’t.”

Larison pulled the door shut and drove off.

Four minutes later, he was back in his car, the surfaces he’d touched in Seth’s Corolla all wiped down. Two minutes after that, he was back on the Redwood Highway, heading toward the Oregon border, the redwoods dense and shadowy to his right, the Lost Coast disappearing like a dream behind him.

He wondered whether he’d straightened the kid out, whether by fear or by shock. He wondered whether the kid would get over it, and wind up in another bar somewhere, flashing another lonely guy that same, beautiful smile.

He decided no. Because that smile was never going to be the same. It was lost now, like Larison himself.