12th of Never

Chapter 45

CINDY STARED AT Rich as he rested his butt against the left front fender of her car, crossed his arms over his chest. He looked seriously angry. She was pretty mad herself. When was the last time she’d kissed him with feeling?

He said, “You’re ambitious to a fault.”

“Oh, really?”

“Other women would be planning a wedding. They’d be designing their wedding dress and so forth. Picking out a honeymoon spot. You don’t want to set a date. You make a little sound in your throat when you see a baby.”

“What sound, Rich? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“It’s like you’re disgusted.”

Cindy felt the sting of truth. Tears welled up and spilled over. Rich came to her and tried to put his arms around her, but she shook him off, said, “Don’t touch me. Please don’t.”

“Let’s go home,” he said. “I’ll drive your car. I’ll get a ride in the morning.”

The truth was opening her up, but the price of the truth was the loss of Richie.

“Rich. I’m sorry that I can’t be … I’m sorry that I’m not like other women. But I’m not. I didn’t want to face it, but you’re completely right. I’ve been keeping walls up because I knew that if I admitted that we want different things, this would be over.”

She had been wearing Rich’s mother’s ring for almost a year. She pulled at it until it came off, and then she pushed it at Richie. He grunted as if he’d been punched in the belly. But he took the ring, closed his hand around it, then put it into his pocket.

Cindy felt light-headed. Had she meant to break up with him? Her face was wet from the rain. Oh, my God. Richie.

“It’s not that I don’t love you,” she said. “I do.”

“And now you’re going to say that love isn’t enough?” His voice was cracking. He was crying, too.

Cindy reached up, took Richie’s dear face in her hands, and kissed him. Then she released him and turned toward the car.

“I’ll pick up my clothes in the morning,” Rich said. “I’m going to make sure you get home okay.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to.”

“Where will you go?”

“Don’t worry about it, Cindy. I can always find a place to sleep.”

This was happening too fast, but it felt inevitable. Cindy opened her car door, got inside, and waited for several minutes as Rich got to his car, then pulled up behind her. His headlight beams filled the interior of her car with a cold and lifeless illumination.

Cindy released the brakes and turned the wheel, astounded at what she had done and that Rich had let her do it.

As she drove along Jackson, she had a flash of understanding.

Rich had gotten her to break up with him. He’d been loaded with determination when he arrived at Susie’s. She should have known it from the look on his face.

Rich had already met someone else.