A Safe House

47

Stone looked up from his breakfast to find Jenna, holding a newspaper, wandering into the kitchen. “Good morning,” he said. “Welcome back to the world. Would you like some breakfast?”

“Yes, thank you, I’m starved.”

“The gentleman in the colorful apron will take your order,” he replied, nodding toward Eggers.

“Eggs Benedict,” she said.

“Not available,” Eggers replied. “Available are eggs scrambled, over easy, or just fried. Sausage or bacon. Toast, if you know how to use a toaster.”

“Scramble, sausage, toast, but I will not be subjected to the ignominy of operating a toaster.”

Eggers looked at Stone. “Is she serious?”

“She’s a client,” Stone replied.

“Coming right up,” Eggers said, and got busy.

“Did you see this paper?” she asked nobody in particular.

“Sort of.”

“This nonsense of an honorary degree?”

“Yes.”

“Where is this...” She consulted the paper. “Hearthrug?”

“About twelve miles from here.”

“Then why don’t we go there and blow him out of the water?”

“Are we sufficiently armed for that action?”

“It’s a naval term for messing up his day.”

“No cannon fire?”

“Only metaphorically.”

“I’m willing to make that metaphorical trip,” Stone said. “I don’t have anything else to do today. Bill, you up for a metaphorical trip?”

Eggers handed Jenna her breakfast. “I’ll check my schedule,” he said. He looked at his iPhone. “Okay, I’m clear. Are we dressing, or is my apron enough?”

“Are you wearing trousers under it?” Jenna asked.

“I think so.”

“Everybody dresses for Bible college,” she said. “Sunday best.” She sat down next to Stone and started eating.

“You can’t go armed to a Bible college,” Stone said. “Not in Connecticut, anyway.”

“I’ll pretend I’m in Texas,” she said.

“Nobody will believe that.”

“You’ll have to surrender your weapons to the property holder,” Stone said, jerking a thumb at Eggers.

“That seems extreme.”

“Your legal representation requires it of you.”

“What about Harley Quince?”

“He slept in our host’s woodshed last night, but fled this morning, so the coast is clear. That’s a naval term, meaning the coast is clear and that assignations are okay.”

“I’m not looking for an assignation with Harley Quince,” she said.

“I’m relieved to hear it,” Stone replied. “We can just make the prestigious presentation if you can be ready to travel in an hour. We may not be able to bring carry guns, but we can hurt him in other ways.”

“I’ll hurry,” she said.

They took Jenna’s Mercedes-AMG, and Stone drove. “Nice ride,” he said.

“It better be,” she replied. “Do you know what it cost?”

“Approximately. Did you have it insured?”

“Oops.”

“Do you have a household insurance policy, anywhere?”

“Yes.”

“Then call your agent Monday morning and tell him about the car. Right now, while I’m driving, it’s covered under my policy.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because I’m on the board of the insurance company.” Stone slammed on the brakes. His windshield was filled with a buck deer, who didn’t even look surprised. Finally, the animal moseyed off the road.

“Lots of that in Connecticut,” Stone said, resuming progress.

Soon, they could breathe again.

“Do you think Harley Quince is attending the festivities?” Eggers asked.

“He doesn’t seem like the type,” Stone replied.

“Wallace doesn’t seem like the type, either,” Jenna pointed out. “He hasn’t been in a church since our wedding.”

The GPS found the school, and they drove through stone and wrought-iron gates, where people who looked like Bible students directed them to parking. Stone notice that the area they had been directed to looked like a German car dealership’s front lot. Stone parked, and they all got out.

“Do I have to frisk you?” Stone asked Jenna.

“As much fun as that sounds, no.”

“It’s bad taste to shoot somebody on Bible college property.”

“I hope somebody explained that to Harley Quince,” Eggers said.

They were approached by a freshly scrubbed Bible student with a crew cut. “Welcome, brothers and sister,” he said to them. “Straight ahead to premium seating.”

“Have we come to the Super Bowl by mistake?” Eggers asked.

They walked through an opening in a high hedge and found themselves on a lawn before a white-columned building that contained, Stone estimated, maybe four hundred folding chairs, about a hundred of which were occupied by women in filmy cotton dresses and men in seersucker suits, most of them fanning themselves with fans imprinted with funeral-home advertising.

“How long before we start?” Stone asked.

“Three minutes ago,” Eggers said. “Have a seat and a fan.”

A man in a blue suit stepped before the podium, which was set up on the front porch of the building ahead. “We’ll give the latecomers a few more minutes to find seats,” he said.

“I don’t see any latecomers,” Stone said, fanning himself.

“I think we’re the last of the latecomers,” Eggers said. As he did, a distant rumble of thunder could be heard. He whipped out his iPhone. “Let’s see what Weatherbug has to say about that. Uh-oh.”

“What do you mean, ‘uh-oh’?” Stone got out his own phone and had a look. “Uh-oh.”

“One hell of a front coming through here,” Eggers said.

“I just got a text alert,” Stone said. “It says thunderstorms less than ten miles away.”

“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, students. Welcome to the Hearthrug Bible College. I am Reverend Don Beverly Calhoun the Third, and I have the honor to be the chairman of the board of this institution.” He stopped for applause and got very little for his trouble. “It is my great pleasure to be able to introduce our honored guest today, Senator Wallace Slade, who has for many years been a bulwark of conservative family values in our country.”

“Ha!” Jenna emitted. People turned and looked for the source of the noise, but she smiled sweetly.

“Jenna,” Stone whispered. “If you’re not careful, these genteel people are going to be tearing us from limb to limb.”

A clap of thunder sounded very near. Stone excused himself, went back to the car, and returned with the two golf umbrellas they had brought. He made it back as the first heavy raindrops were falling and Wallace Slade began to speak.