After Eden

Chapter 6

‘Double maths and then it’s all over,’ said Megan, dropping her lunch tray on the table.

It was the last day of school before study leave started and I wasn’t sure whether to be sentimental or overjoyed. I was looking forward to the long summer holidays and then college after that, but there were things I would miss about this place.

I glanced at Ryan. Over the last few weeks, he had infiltrated our tight little group. At first he just sat with us on Monday lunchtimes before our art lesson, but recently he’d started sitting with us every day. He caught me looking at him and smiled.

‘What’s the probability of a fun last lesson with Stevens?’ asked Matt.

‘Absolute zero,’ said Megan, sprinkling salt over her double helping of cheesy chips. ‘He’ll make us go over past papers. Guaranteed.’

I prodded at the vegetables sitting underneath a thick grey pool of congealing sauce, trying to find something I recognised. I should have known better than to risk a veggie curry.

‘You want to share mine?’ asked Ryan, wrinkling his nose at my food. He pushed his tray between us and moved closer to me.

‘Thanks,’ I said, stabbing a piece of his pasta with my fork. ‘You can’t go wrong with pasta. My curry looks like dog vomit. What was I thinking?’

Connor looked at me. ‘Just get yourself something else to eat, Eden.’

‘It’s fine,’ said Ryan. ‘I don’t mind sharing.’

Connor glared.

‘What shall we do tomorrow to mark our first day of freedom?’ asked Megan.

‘The beach,’ said Matt. ‘The forecast is good.’

‘What do you think?’ Amy interrupted, waving a poster in her hand. ‘Melissa Whitlock did the artwork, but I designed the layout.’

She thrust the poster on to the middle of the table, where it absorbed a grease spot and turned translucent.

Leavers’ Ball

Saturday 23rd June

Tickets £15

There was a silhouette of a couple dancing and the entire poster was printed in silver and pink.

‘That looks great, Amy,’ I said.

She sat next to Megan and stole a chip from her tray.

Megan slapped her wrist playfully. ‘Get your own lunch. I didn’t get this gorgeous figure by sharing my food.’

‘Help yourself to Ryan’s lunch,’ said Connor. ‘He doesn’t mind sharing.’

Ryan smiled to himself.

‘What’s so funny?’ I asked him quietly.

He leant close to me. ‘If I tell you why I think Connor is being an asshole, you’ll just tell me that I’m wrong and imagining things. But I’m pretty sure this is all to do with who is going to pair up for the ball.’

‘It’s rude to whisper,’ said Connor.

Ryan caught my eye. I tried not to smile.

‘Tickets are on sale now,’ said Amy, stealing another chip from Megan’s plate. ‘Obviously Matt and I will be going together. Although he hasn’t asked me yet.’

‘You could ask him, you know,’ I said. ‘This is the twenty-first century. Women don’t have to wait to be asked.’

‘I could ask him, but I shouldn’t have to.’

Matt rolled his eyes. ‘Amy, will you go to the ball with me?’

‘I’d love to, Matthew,’ she said, smiling smugly. ‘What about you, Eden? Who are you going with?’

I shrugged. ‘I haven’t really thought about it.’

‘Yeah, right,’ she said, rolling her eyes. ‘Everyone’s been talking about it for weeks.’ She took another chip from Megan. ‘Who do you want to go with, Megs?’

Megan’s cheeks dimpled as she smiled. ‘I have someone in mind.’

‘Megan?’ I said.

She laughed. ‘Tell you later.’

‘What about you, Westland?’ Amy said, turning to Ryan. ‘Will you finally put Chloe Mason out of her misery?’

Ryan laughed. ‘I’m not that brave.’

Amy nudged him. ‘You have to go.’ She glanced at me. ‘Chloe won’t be the only girl in Year Eleven who will be disappointed if you don’t.’

‘When is it?’ he asked, dragging the grease-soaked poster across the table towards himself.

‘The twenty-third of June,’ said Amy.

Ryan’s eyes lit up. ‘Actually,’ he said. ‘I think I will go.’

‘I saved a special place for you,’ Connor said with a smirk as he passed me a black felt-tip pen and gestured at his chest.

‘Your left nipple?’ I asked, pulling a face.

‘My heart,’ he said, clutching his chest with both hands and sighing melodramatically. ‘You are my oldest friend. I sat next to you on my first day in reception.’

‘The happiest days of our lives,’ I said. ‘Why do people say that? Are we supposed to think that now our schooldays are over, it’s all downhill?’

I removed the pen cap and wrote on his shirt Connor and Eden 2000–2012.

‘I remember the first day of school so clearly,’ said Connor. ‘You arrived with your mum. You left her at the door and picked up a jigsaw puzzle and brought it to the table. You forgot about her right away but she stood there and watched you for ages.’

I wished I could remember that myself. I had no real memories of my mother, just things that Miranda told me when we looked at old photographs.

‘I remember you too. You wet yourself.’

‘Thanks, Eden. I can always rely on you to remember the good times.’

‘That’s what friends are for,’ I said, handing him back the marker. ‘Your turn.’

He looked at my shirt. Almost all the white space was filled with comments and signatures. ‘There’s no space left.’

‘The inside of my arm,’ I said, twisting my arm to expose the underside.

There wasn’t much room. He wrote the same as I did: Connor and Eden 2000–2012.

‘Not very original,’ he said. ‘But inspired by one of the best.’

‘Let’s capture the moment,’ I said, pulling my phone out of my bag. ‘Go and stand by the steps, under the sign.’

He walked over and turned towards me, a big happy grin on his face, his blond hair full of sunshine and light.

‘Say, cheese,’ I said, holding my phone up and snapping a few shots.

‘My turn, I want one of us together.’ He put his arm around my waist and held me close to him, the other arm stretched out, holding the phone.

‘Promise you’ll delete them if they’re terrible.’

‘No way. These photos will be online before dinnertime.’

The school bus sighed into the parking bay in a cloud of grey diesel fumes.

‘This is it,’ I said. Sentimentality was threatening to rear its sickening face.

‘We’ve still got exams to look forward to,’ said Connor.

I gave him a look.

‘And the leavers’ ball.’

‘Now you’re talking,’ I said. ‘That will be a fun night.’

Connor kicked at the ground. ‘Have you thought about who you might want to go with?’

I shrugged. I suppose I’d assumed that Connor would ask me. Like he said, we’d been friends for ever and neither of us had a boyfriend or girlfriend. It would make a sweet ending to twelve years of schooling. Me and Connor: best friends for ever.

‘Well,’ I began.

And then I saw Ryan. He was striding straight towards us, his shirt covered in scrawled signatures, his tie knotted halfway down his chest.

‘Eden!’ he yelled. ‘You haven’t signed my shirt yet.’

I smiled. ‘Doesn’t look like there’s any room.’

‘There’s always room for you.’

I could feel myself blushing.

‘I guess I’ll see you tomorrow,’ Connor said.

‘At the beach,’ I said. ‘Can’t wait.’

‘In a sick sort of way I’m going to miss this,’ he said softly.

The tide was high, leaving only a narrow strip of warm, dry sand. Ryan and I had arranged to meet the others on the harbour beach, at our usual sheltered spot under the wall. They were already there, Amy hiding her milky skin in the shade of a beach umbrella, the others stripped down to shorts and T-shirts, basking in the unseasonably warm glow of April sunshine. Connor saw us first. He stared as we walked across the beach towards him.

‘Did you take the bus?’ he asked, checking his watch.

‘I drove us,’ said Ryan.

‘You’re making quite a habit of driving around with under-age drivers,’ Connor said, glaring at me.

Ryan looked from Connor to me and back again.

‘Did you take the bypass or the coast road?’ Connor asked Ryan.

‘The coast road,’ said Ryan. ‘What difference does it make?’

Connor smiled thinly. ‘She hasn’t told you, has she?’

Ryan shrugged one shoulder. ‘Told me what? How can I answer that question?’

‘Shut up, Connor,’ I said. ‘The buses aren’t convenient and Ryan’s a good driver. Anyway, it’s my decision.’

‘Don’t argue, children,’ said Megan.

Matt stood up. ‘We’ve been waiting for you two. The tide is high and you know what that means.’

I groaned.

‘We’re gonna jump off the harbour wall! First jump of the year. Coming?’

‘You go ahead,’ I said. ‘We’ll come down in a minute.’

Matt clucked like a chicken. ‘The tide is high, Eden. It doesn’t get any safer than this.’

‘It’s not just the water, it’s the height,’ I said. ‘And the rocks.’

‘The rocks aren’t dangerous at high tide,’ said Matt. ‘You just have to know exactly where to jump. If you watch where I jump, you’ll be OK.’

‘And if I don’t jump where you jump?’

Matt mimed his head exploding. ‘It’s game over!’

‘Exactly. No thanks.’

He threw a shortie wetsuit towards Ryan. ‘I brought my spare if you want to borrow it.’

Ryan pulled off his jacket and threw it on the sand. ‘I’ll keep Eden company.’

The four of them ran across the sand to the harbour wall. It towered above the water, even at high tide.

Ryan raised his left arm to push the hair out of his face, and the sleeve of his T-shirt rose up revealing a tattoo on his bicep. It was a large, blue sphere and a smaller white sphere cradled in the black branches of a tree.

‘What’s your tattoo?’ I asked.

He glanced at it. ‘It’s a symbol. An environmental thing.’

‘Did it hurt?’

‘Not really.’

‘Can I look at it?’

He held his arm out and I touched the tattoo with my fingers. I expected it to feel different to the rest of his skin, but it didn’t.

‘It’s beautiful.’

Ryan covered it with his sleeve. ‘Thanks.’

‘You sure you don’t want to go with them?’ I said. ‘I don’t mind sitting on my own.’

He shook his head. ‘I don’t want to jump off the wall. I want to spend time with you.’

‘You do?’

He looked at me with a bemused expression. ‘Yes. I like you. You’re interesting.’

I didn’t feel remotely interesting, sitting on the beach, too scared to join in with the fun my friends were having.

‘But you hardly know anything about me.’

Ryan laughed, just as Megan launched herself off the harbour wall with a scream. I watched as she swam towards the shore. From experience, I knew that they’d all repeat the jump four or five times before they tired of it and swam across the bay to Lucky Cove on the opposite headland.

‘Are you going to educate me?’ said Ryan.

I looked at him, lost. ‘What do you want to know?’

‘Everything.’ He was still smiling at me with his big, warm smile, a smile that was amused and friendly and just on the cusp of being flirtatious without quite crossing into it.

‘That could take a while,’ I said, feeling myself blush.

‘I don’t mind.’

I lay back on the sand and closed my eyes, enjoying the gentle caress of the April sunshine on my skin.

‘Everything is a big subject,’ I said. ‘How about you get to ask me three questions.’

‘Like three wishes in a fairytale?’

‘Mmm. Exactly. And then I get to ask you three.’

‘OK,’ he said. ‘Only three questions. I’ll have to make them count. So let’s start with the perfect date.’

‘That’s a good question,’ I said, stretching my arms above my head. I’d never considered it before. My perfect date. I’d never been on any kind of date, good or bad. ‘I’d like to drink cold champagne and eat warm, sweet strawberries while the sun sets over the sea.’ I’d never had champagne before, but I liked the way it sounded.

Ryan laughed. ‘Very romantic.’

‘I hope so. I mean, for it to be the perfect date, it would have to be with someone I love.’

‘That leads on perfectly to my next question. Have you ever been in love, Eden?’

Both the question and the way he said my name made my heart stall. I was pretty sure my blush must be in full bloom by now, from chest to forehead. I put my hands over my eyes to shield them from the sun and my embarrassment, and then parted my fingers slightly so I could look up at him. He was looking down at me, the sun weaving through his hair and lighting up his face.

‘No,’ I said, although I was beginning to wonder if the acute mixture of nerves and embarrassment I felt whenever he was near might be one of the symptoms.

He held my gaze, a half-smile on his face. ‘What are you afraid of?’ he asked.

For a moment I thought he was still talking about love, but then I realised that this was question three.

‘Heights,’ I said. ‘Deep water. And missed opportunities.’

‘Missed opportunities,’ he repeated. ‘I agree. OK. Your turn.’

I thought for a moment, unsure what I most wanted to know about him.

‘What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?’ I asked in the end.

Ryan exhaled slowly. ‘Whoa. Right in with the serious stuff. How about a gentle warm-up question first to help me relax.’

‘I only have three questions.’

‘You’ll probably be disappointed by my answer. I haven’t done anything really bad. I guess the worst thing I’ve ever done is pretend to be someone I’m not so I could fit in with a group of people.’

I couldn’t imagine Ryan struggling to fit in. It made him sound vulnerable in a way that didn’t add up.

‘Second question?’ he asked.

‘What do you want to do when you grow up?’

‘I don’t know,’ he said, shrugging one shoulder. ‘Probably something with the environment. With animals or plants. Study ecosystems. Protect fragile habitats.’

‘Like a job at the Eden Project?’

He smiled. ‘Something to do with Eden. Yeah. That would be perfect.’

‘Last question,’ I said. ‘Who is your hero?’

Ryan chuckled. ‘Connor.’

I looked up at him through my fingers. He was laughing of course.

‘Connor?’ I asked.

‘Why not? He’s smart, he’s independent, and he doesn’t care what anyone thinks. And he has you for a best friend.’

‘Be serious.’

‘Fine. I don’t have heroes. I don’t believe in them.’

‘Why not Gandhi or Nelson Mandela or Martin Luther King? Surely they’ve done more to earn your admiration than Connor?’

Ryan said nothing. Out of nowhere came the memory of Matt telling me that Ryan had never heard of Hitler. I sat up. ‘You have heard of Gandhi and Mandela?’

‘Of course,’ he said. He dug his heel into the sand and frowned.

‘Who are they then?’

Ryan looked at me and exhaled deeply. ‘I have heard of them. I recognise their names, but I can’t remember why they’re famous.’

‘History lessons in New Hampshire must be so bad. What did they teach you?’

‘You’ve had your three questions,’ said Ryan.

‘Answer it and you can ask me one more.’

‘They taught us about the Greeks and Romans mainly and the history of discovery and exploration.’

‘Like Columbus?’

He nodded. ‘Can I ask my final question?’

‘Fine,’ I said, expecting another general question about my loves or hates.

‘What did Connor mean earlier?’

‘You mean when he began his Mr Health and Safety routine?’

Ryan nodded.

I hesitated. I hated talking about what happened. People never knew what to say. ‘Ten years ago, I was in an accident. I was in a car with my parents and we were driving home from a wedding. My dad was driving. He’d had a lot to drink apparently. We were on the coast road, halfway between Penpol Cove and Perran. He lost control of the car. It skidded off the road and into the sea.’ I pointed to the headland across the bay from the harbour. ‘That’s where it happened. It’s known as Lucky Cove. Both my parents drowned.’

Ryan said nothing, but I noticed on the drive home later that afternoon that he stayed well below the speed limit for a change.