Bad Boy Brawly Brown

— 26 —

I managed not to bite anybody’s head off over ice cream. Feather spent most of her time eating from her bowl on Bonnie’s lap. Jesus, who probably knew me better than any other living being ever had, stayed away from me. He didn’t talk about his boat or dropping out. As a matter of fact, I don’t think he said a single word. All those early years as a mute had given him a close kinship with silence. Silence and patience at being understood.

After the children were in bed Bonnie made me a drink, a concoction made from a scoop of ice cream, vanilla flavoring, milk, eggs, nutmeg, and honey. In the old days I would have added a shot of bourbon to top it off.

We sat in the living room listening to the late news. There was a story about a Negro named Henry Strong who died instantaneously from a gunshot wound to the head in the early-morning hours. He lived at the Colorado Hotel on Cherry and was a native of Oakland, California.

“Do you want me to leave, Easy?”

“What?”

“Do you want me to move out of your house?” Bonnie asked.

“What are you talkin’ about, Shay?”

“You haven’t even touched me since you came in.” She was close to tears.

I moved over to the couch and put my arm around her.

“I was just... just... I was just preoccupied,” I said.

She shook off my arm and shifted away from me.

“We haven’t known each other very long, Easy. I know that when you helped me that your friend got killed...”

“No one’s even sure that he’s dead,” I said. “And even if he is, that was between me and Raymond. We been livin’ up near the front lines ever since we were children. It ain’t nobody’s fault the way we lived. You didn’t ask him for nuthin’ and you weren’t there when the shit went down. You were there for me, though. You been there for the kids.”

“You needed somebody to love you, Easy. You were hurting and you were kind, too. But just because you’re grateful doesn’t mean you want me. I will leave if that’s what’s best. I will.”

“That’s not what I want. No.”

Bonnie’s face was like the drawing of a black goddess from some Polynesian myth. The eyes slanted upward, her full lips perfectly shaped. Those lips parted and for a moment I forgot the hunger in my lungs and the pain of Raymond’s death. Even the trouble I’d burrowed down into didn’t seem like much.

“I been doin’ somethin’,” I said.

“What?”

I told her about John and Alva, about Brawly and the First Men. I told her about Aldridge and Henry Strong but refrained from letting on that I was at both murder scenes.

“It sounds too dangerous, Easy,” she said after I was done.

“Like when you were in trouble,” I said.

She kissed me and I kissed her, and then she kissed me again. I’d had an erection ever since her lips parted.

Later that night we were in the bed, still kissing. Cigarettes must have something to do with sex somehow, because my desire for tobacco was completely gone for an hour and a half. All I needed was my baby. I could have taken that on the radio.

“So you’re upset because of the police and the political group?” Bonnie asked me between smooches.

I think she was looking for a way to talk me out of helping John.

“No,” I said. “I’m upset because I haven’t had a cigarette since early this morning.”

“Why don’t you have one then?”

“Because this is some serious business. I might have to move fast and I know from the stairs at Sojourner Truth that I don’t have much of a wind. I couldn’t trot around this block if I wanted to.”

“You’re a full-grown man, Easy,” she whispered into my armpit. “A man shouldn’t have to run.”

“Maybe there’s some white man somewhere think he don’t have to skip out now and then, but a black man anywhere in this United States better be able to run a mile and then another one.”

“I don’t want you out there running after trouble,” Bonnie complained.

“Then you don’t have to worry about me. I’m the runnin’-away kind.”

“That’s not true,” she said. “I wish it was, but it’s not.”

“You really wish that I was a coward?”

“I love the man,” she said. “Not the man who saved me, but the one who cared that I was okay.”

I looked into her eyes but her heart was too vast for me to comprehend.

When the phone rang I was deep in a dreamless sleep. I heard it jangling but there didn’t seem to be any reason to answer. My left foot was hanging out of the bed, feeling a slight chill, and my right thigh was pressed against Bonnie’s butt, warm as toast. Everything was right with the world.

“Easy. Easy.”

“Hm.”

“Easy.”

“Yeah, babe?”

“It’s the phone. A woman named Tina.”

I remembered the ringing. It seemed like many years ago. The only thing that mattered was my cold foot and warm thigh.

“Easy.”

And then I was awake, craving cigarettes and aware of the danger I’d crossed over into.

“Hello,” I said.

“Mr. Rawlins?”

“Uh-huh.”

“This is Tina Montes. We met the other night at the First Men.”

“I remember. Your people pulled a gun on me and threw me out of the car.”

I could feel Bonnie stiffen against my leg.

“I didn’t want that. Conrad and Mr. Strong get kinda rough sometimes.”

“What can I do for you, Miss Montes?”

“Miss Latour said that I could trust you.”

“You sure can do that,” I said. “On one condition, that is.”

“What’s that?”

“You can trust me if you don’t lie to me.”

“Okay.”

“What time is it?”

“One,” she said.

“In the morning?” I said with a sigh. “Tell Liselle to get the parlor ready. I’ll be over in less than an hour.”

I put down the phone and sat up in one motion.

Bonnie didn’t say anything until I was dressed and ready to leave.

“Easy?”

“Yeah, babe?”

She stood up all naked and womanly. From her purse she took a Camel cigarette. She always carried a pack because she sometimes smoked with her girlfriends. She lit the cigarette, took a drag, and then put it between my lips.

She kissed my cheek and said, “You need to be calm out there, Mr. Rawlins. Give up smoking some other time.”

“Aren’t you upset about some woman calling me in the middle of the night?”

“No,” she said. “You wouldn’t give our number to some bird you took a fancy to. You wouldn’t hurt me like that. I am worried about someone pulling a gun on you, though.”

“He wasn’t serious,” I said. “Just tryin’ to show me who was boss.”