Bad Karma

Chapter 10

The sun had already set by the time Shannon made his way through Denver International Airport. When he called Susan from his car to apologize for missing their date to watch the sunset, he caught her in the middle of a session with a client. She just seemed relieved that he’d be back in Boulder that night; she also didn’t think she’d be done until ten. They arranged to meet at the hotel at that time so they could go out for a late dinner.

He was able to reach Eli at the Boulder Mind Body Center and they set up to meet a half hour earlier the next morning at their usual spot. Next, he checked his cell phone for messages and saw there were twelve of them. The first two were from Eunice Carver asking about People magazine. She got testier in her second message, demanding to know whether or not they wanted her story; that if they didn’t, she would sell it elsewhere. The next message was from Paul Devens. He thought Shannon would like to know that his tap dance routine had gone over brilliantly. In other words, Shannon could now access the condo while Carver’s family was still barred. According to Devens, his performance would’ve brought a tear to Fred Astaire’s eye. After Devens’ message there was one from Mark Daniels who sounded depressed as he congratulated Shannon on his lawyer’s victory in court and asked if Shannon could let him know when he was planning to search the apartment so he could be present. The rest of them were from Pauline Cousins, all scattered throughout the afternoon. She didn’t say much, only that she needed to talk to him.

Shannon tried calling her motel room but she didn’t pick up. He then reached Devens on his cell phone.

“How was Wichita?” Devens asked.

“Interesting. I’ll tell you about it tomorrow.”

“I’ll be looking forward to it. Ah, you should’ve seen me today. I had them absolutely dazzled with my footwork,” Devens told him, sounding a little drunk.

“Yeah, I heard. Celebrating?”

“A bottle of champagne, my detective friend. This is a big deal for a lawyer like me who never goes to court except to pay off speeding tickets. Come by the office tomorrow morning after eight. You can fill me in about Wichita, and I’ll give you keys to the condo and the police padlock.”

Shannon told him he’d see him then. He next tried Mark Daniels’ cell phone and left a message that he was planning to look through the apartment in the morning, that if Daniels gave him a call back they could arrange when to meet. After that he put the Red Sox-Rockies game on his car radio, and by the time he arrived at his apartment building, the Sox were up four runs in the sixth inning thanks to two David Ortiz homeruns. He couldn’t help smiling thinking how Maguire at that very moment was somewhere giving Rockies’ fans a hard time.

Shannon knocked on Emily’s door, waited until she opened it a crack and told her he was stopping off at his apartment for a little while. He frowned as he looked past her. “Is that a frying pan you’re holding behind your back?”

“So what if it is?” she demanded, her chin stuck out slightly. “You told me my Louisville Slugger’s no good. Anyway, how’d you know?”

“I could see it in your hallway mirror. Try to relax, okay? Odds are no Russian thugs are going to be coming here.”

“They better not, ’cause I’m ready if they do.”

Shannon was going to say something, but decided it would be a waste of breath. He gave Emily a short salute and headed back to his apartment. When he got inside, he found that his spy cameras hadn’t been activated, and felt more relieved than he would’ve guessed knowing that the two Russians hadn’t bothered breaking into his apartment. He then checked his email and saw a reply from Kathleen Tirroza. She was glad to hear he hadn’t fallen off the face of the planet like she had feared, and would get back to him when she had something about either the cult leader or the Russian. At the bottom of the email she included a photo of herself standing next to a good-looking guy about ten years older than her, an engagement ring prominently displayed on her finger as she smiled her typical cat-ate-the-canary smile. The guy next to her had a hardness about his face, and Shannon knew instinctively he was a cop. The tagline added to the bottom of the photo was: Got tired of waiting for you, Shannon!

He knew she was joking about the tagline. They had developed a closeness during the four months they’d worked together, but it was strictly a big brother-little sister type relationship. Tirroza was stunningly beautiful, but this followed the aftermath of Charlie Winters. He’d just been released from the hospital, and Susan had already filed for divorce and had moved to God knows where. He was too messed up emotionally to get involved with anyone. He also still had too many unresolved feelings about Susan. In the emotional state he was in, the only thing he wanted to do was stay busy and work twenty-four hours a day if possible, and many times he and Tirroza did just that. When they were done, he had helped her tie Winters and his cousin, Herbert, to over a hundred other murders across the country. After that, he officially went on disability and moved out to Boulder. He spent the next eight months trying to work out his feelings about Susan, and ended up realizing that even with the hell Winters had put them through he still loved her as much as he ever did. Fortunately she must’ve come to the same conclusion about him because around that time she visited him in Boulder and never left.

Shannon sent Tirroza a reply that it would take something momentous like her getting married for him to take a trip back to Boston, and that he expected the invitation was already in the mail. After that he reset the spy cameras and left.

As he drove back to the Boulderado he kept thinking of the messages Pauline Cousins had left him. There was something about the tone of her voice that bothered him, especially her last message. Calm, but resigned. It reminded him of a jumper he’d once tried to talk down while he was on the force. He pulled over to the side of the road and tried Pauline Cousins again at her motel. When he still got no answer, he got back on the road, swung a left at the next light and drove towards Baseline Reservoir. The moon was in a waxing crescent, and with the area mostly undeveloped with no streetlights, he almost missed the Chevy Impala parked a few hundred yards from True Light’s compound. He pulled over, took a slim jim from his trunk and made his way quickly back to the Chevy. Seconds later he had the door unlocked and was checking the glove compartment. He found paperwork there showing that Pauline Cousins had rented the car. Dropping the slim jim back in his trunk, he got a flashlight, and started towards True Light’s compound in as fast a run as his bruised ribs allowed.

The flashlight caught her face about twenty feet from True Light’s main gate. She stared wide-eyed at Shannon, the muscles tight along her mouth and jaw. Shannon lowered the flashlight and saw the knuckles on her hand bone white as she gripped a handgun. From the size and shape of it, he guessed it was a.38 caliber snub nose; more than powerful enough to knock her over if she tried firing it.

As calmly as he could, he asked her to give him the gun, and held his hand out to her, palm up. Indecision froze her, then she took a step away. “I’m getting Melissa out of there,” she said, her voice cracking, barely above a whisper.

Shannon looked from her to the main gate. He knew what she was trying to work up the courage for: buzz the main gate until someone came out and then use the gun to force her way in. “You need to give me more time to do things my way,” he said.

She didn’t bother to respond-just stared straight at him, her lips pressed hard enough together to make them as bloodless as her knuckles.

“It won’t work. You’re only going to get yourself killed, maybe a couple of other people along the way.”

“It will work,” she said. “It has to.” In the glow of his flashlight he saw her swallow hard, saw the tenseness in her face and shoulders. Her gun arm jerked in kind of a nervous twitch and the thought flashed through his mind of her accidentally pulling the trigger and blowing off one of her toes, maybe even one of his. His own voice tightened as he told her again to hand him the gun, that he would get to Melissa without having to do it this way.

“How?” she asked. “They won’t even let the police see her. And look at you. They did that to you yesterday, didn’t they?”

“They did,” he admitted. “You know as well as I do there’s something very wrong about this place. But I’m going to find a crack into it, and I’m going to speak to Melissa. I promise you that.”

“How can you possibly promise me something like that? I tried calling you today and couldn’t even get a hold of you.”

“I’m sorry about that, but I was out of state today working on another case.” He smiled good-naturedly at her. “I do have good instincts sometimes. I knew you were here, didn’t I?”

The resolve bled out of her as she thought about that. Shannon saw the change in her eyes, stepped forward, and gently took the gun from her hand. He was right; it was a.38 snub nose. He cracked open the cylinder and dropped the bullets into his hand.

“Where’d you get the gun?”

“I asked around and found a pawnshop in Denver that was willing to sell it to me.”

He grimly studied one of the bullets. It was a hollow point. She would’ve done a lot of damage if she had gotten in there. He dropped the bullets into his pants pocket.

“Let’s get back to your car,” Shannon said as he lightly held onto her arm, both supporting and guiding her.

“They could be doing anything to Melissa in there,” she said, half under her breath. “I can’t feel a connection to her anymore. I have no idea if she’s even still alive.”

Something furry and thin, maybe a foot and a half long, darted past their feet. Shannon flashed his light on it as it scuttled away into some underbrush, and saw from its tail and the shape of its head that it was a weasel.

“Let’s keep the faith that she’s okay,” he said to her. “And I have someone in the FBI helping me with this. We’re going to get to Melissa. Until then, maybe you should go back to Portland and be with your husband.”

“If I went back home now I’d kill him. I can’t believe I let him bully me for six months not to do anything. No, I’m staying in Boulder until I see Melissa.”

They arrived back to her car. Shannon watched as she got into the driver’s seat. “You going to be okay driving back?” he asked. She nodded, her face bloodless and frail. “I’ll hold onto the gun for now,” Shannon told her.

He went back to his car, reloaded the.38 and hid it under his spare tire, then followed Pauline Cousins down Baseline until she turned onto 28th Street. Satisfied that she’d make it to her motel in one piece, he headed back to the Boulderado Hotel. He checked the dashboard clock, and saw that somehow he was going to be on time.

Susan was waiting for him in their room. The tee shirt and cutoff jeans she wore accentuated all the wonderful curves of her small, slender body. She flashed him a dazzling smile as she gave him a hard embrace and even harder kiss. Stepping back, she placed her palms lightly on his face and studied him. “Your swelling’s gone down,” she said, her smile more of a playful kind. “You almost look presentable. Have an eventful day?”

“Thanks, and yeah, I did,” he said laughing. “Damn, it’s good to see you.” He picked her up, spun her around in the air several times, kissing her again on the mouth, then on the neck and earlobe. Dropping her to the floor, he leaned back in and sniffed her hair.

“You haven’t been smoking pot, have you?” he asked.

Her smile changed from playful to something wry. “Of course not, my darling. Since when in all the years you’ve known me have I ever smoked pot?”

He made a hmmm noise, his brow furrowed deeply. “I was thinking we could eat at the hotel tonight,” he muttered, still distracted by Susan’s thin Cheshire-cat grin and the odor he picked up from her hair.

“We could do that. I was kind of in the mood for pizza, though.”

“Pizza it is, then,” Shannon said.

They were out of the room and walking down the hallway when it hit him what that odor was. Their eyes met as he turned to her, Susan still grinning her Cheshire-cat grin.

“You went to the Vishna yoga studio,” he said.

“That’s right, hon. I was going to surprise you about it later-”

“Damn it, Susan, what the hell were you thinking?” He stopped himself and swallowed back the rest of what he wanted to say. “What’s done is done, but you’re not going back there,” he said in a more controlled voice.

Susan stared at him with what could’ve been mistaken for amusement if he overlooked the intensity burning in her dark brown eyes. “Hon,” she asked, “how long have we known each other?”

“A long time,” he admitted.

“Since I was eighteen. Over sixteen years.”

He nodded.

“Do you think now’s the time to start ordering me around?”

“Sue, these people are dangerous. This is not something you should be fooling around with.”

“Hon, I think I can make my own decisions. Besides, all I’m doing is going to a yoga studio on the Hill. If by doing that I can help you, then that’s what I’m going to do.”

“Sue, please-”

She took hold of his hand, gave it a squeeze. “Darling,” she said, “I can take care of myself. You should know that by now.”

He nodded. What he knew was that there was no point trying to talk her out of it. He couldn’t help feeling a sick twisting in his stomach at the idea of her going there. “Just promise me going to that yoga studio is all you’ll do,” he said. “If they invite you to True Light’s compound-”

She got up on her toes and kissed him lightly on his nose, stopping him. “I promise you, hon, that’s all. Nothing else. So stop worrying, okay?” She shook her head, laughing. “I can’t believe that smell’s still in my hair. When I got back today I washed my hair for twenty minutes trying to get it out.”

“What is that smell? Are they smoking pot down there?”

She opened her eyes wide in mock surprise. “Oh, now you want my information?”

“Susie, my darling, quit being coy. You already put me through the wringer, remember?”

“I did, didn’t I? I’m sorry about that. I know you’re just worried, and maybe a bit overprotective. Which is sweet. To answer your question, they’re burning incense.”

“That’s all it is?”

“That’s all, but boy is it powerful. They have it burning all over the room fogging it up. The stuff gave me a headache the whole time I was there. Why don’t we wait ’til dinner and I’ll tell you more about it.”

They decided to go to a pizza place on Pearl Street. The night air had gotten cooler and Susan hung close to Shannon, keeping an arm around his waist. As they walked, her hip brushed against his with almost every step. Shannon expected to see more people on the outdoor mall for a Thursday night, but at that hour it was quiet, mostly just college kids gathered around and a few transients bumming for money. When they were half a block from the restaurant, he spotted Eddie sitting alone under a streetlamp studying a chess position. Given his rapt attention to the chess board and the way the lamp illuminated his heavily-lined face, he could’ve been mistaken for an antique wooden carving that had been dressed up in jeans, work boots and an army jacket. Shannon pointed him out to Susan and told her that he knew the guy and needed to talk to him, but that it shouldn’t take more than a couple of minutes. Susan was fine with it, and joined Shannon as he walked over to Eddie.

Shannon stood quietly for a minute or two studying the position, then told Eddie that white could force a bishop advantage in five moves. The older man looked up, a bit startled, then chuckled softly as he recognized Shannon.

“Caught me by surprise,” he said. “I guess in your line of work you get good at sneaking up on folk.” He noticed Susan, quickly tested his upper plate with his thumb to make sure it was in place, then nodded solemnly as if he were tipping a hat. “Ma’am,” he said.

Susan laughed good-naturedly. “Ma’am?” she said. “I guess there’s a first time for everything. Just call me Susan.”

“My ex-wife,” Shannon explained with a wink. “Eddie, I thought you were taking up shop at the student center?”

“I have. Completely dead there tonight so I thought I’d catch some of this cool night air. Mostly dead here also. Reeled in a couple of guppies earlier, neither of which were worth the bother of filleting.” He breathed in noisily through his nose. “I love the smell of this mountain air. One of the reasons I moved back to Boulder.” He gave Shannon a quick one-eyed look. “If this lovely woman’s your ex-wife, then I gave you far too much credit for being bright last time we met.”

“We’re in the process of reconciling,” Shannon explained. “Any luck finding that girl?”

“Don’t you think I would’ve called you if I had?” he said, his tone turning cantankerous.

“I guess that was a stupid question.”

“Won’t argue with you there.”

“Then let me quit while I’m ahead. How about I stop by the student center Saturday for the rematch I promised. Think you’ll be there in the afternoon?”

Eddie said that he would, then grudgingly asked Shannon to show him the sequence of moves forcing a bishop advantage. Shannon played them out quickly.

“Why in the world am I bothering with a rematch?” Eddie groaned as he rolled his eyes upward. “I should just put a sign on my back and ask people to kick me.” He continued to stare skyward, as if searching for divine intervention, then mumbled something to himself about being the world’s dumbest mud-sucking bottom-dwelling fish. He remembered Susan standing there, apologized for his salty language and nodded again towards her, once more giving the impression of tipping an imaginary hat. “Pleasure meeting you, ma’am,” he said. With that he locked his stare back onto his chessboard as if that was all that existed in the universe.

As they walked away, Shannon explained that Eddie was one of his many minions doing his dirty work. “He’s looking for an ex-member of True Light that he ran across a week ago. I’m paying his fee in chess games -”

Susan interrupted him by slapping him in the stomach. “Ex-wife?” she exclaimed.

“Factually correct.”

“You could’ve introduced me as your friend! And what’s with this reconciling business? We’ve been back together almost four years!”

“I’m not introducing you as my friend,” he said. “That would be a joke with what you mean to me.” He paused, then added. “And you know that anytime you want to get the ex removed from my introductions, I’m more than happy to accommodate you.”

“I know that.” Susan touched his arm. “But it would just be a piece of paper, hon. It wouldn’t change that you already have my heart and soul, and that nothing’s keeping me from spending the rest of my life with you.”

Shannon nodded and squeezed her hand resting on his arm. Up until then he had resisted mentioning the idea of them getting remarried, sensing Susan’s reluctance to upset what they had. He understood her reason: that they were happier now than they’d ever been during their ten year marriage, but a big part of it was that they no longer had the specter of Charlie Winters hanging over them. As he looked at her, he also saw the thought flicker across her eyes-that if they were married again, it might bring back memories of Winters that she’d so far been able to block out.

He reached down and kissed the tip of her nose. “Maybe I’ll just start introducing you as my better half.”

“Are you okay with that?” she asked, her eyes searching deep into his. He nodded. She returned the kiss, catching him hard on the mouth. “Let’s get some pizza then. I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.”

After they got seated at the restaurant, they ordered a deep dish pie, half broccoli for Susan, half garlic and olive for Shannon. When he ordered his half, she raised an eyebrow and commented on how he better be damn good in bed if he expected to get lucky that night.

“I’m planning on my irresistible animal magnetism to do the trick,” he said. She got a laugh out of that. As they waited for their pizza, he told her about Linda Gibson. “That poor girl,” she said when he had finished. The empathy in her eyes brought a lump to his throat. At that moment, she was probably never more beautiful. “You don’t think her parents could be responsible for her death?”

“I’m sure in some way they’re responsible,” Shannon said. “Maybe not in actually killing her, but in screwing her up enough for her to end up with a guy like Taylor Carver. Maybe I’m prejudging him, but from what I’ve heard so far he was a piece of work.”

“But do you think they could’ve actually killed her themselves? Or hired someone?”

“I don’t know. It would take someone pretty monstrous to do that, but then again it would take someone pretty monstrous to abuse their own daughter, and probably no less monstrous to turn a blind eye to it for years and let it happen. It’s possible they’re directly responsible. I’m sure they were worried about Linda telling more people about what they did to her. Anyway, if the police dig deeper, they’ll know one way or another if they’re involved.”

“And if Gibson abused his other daughter?”

“Then at least they’ll be able to prosecute him. Unfortunately, the mother will get off scot-free in any case.”

The waitress brought over their pizza. Shannon was starting his first slice when he caught Susan eyeing his half of the pizza. Somewhat sheepishly she asked about trading slices. “Only because I don’t want you feeling self-conscious later about your garlic breath,” she explained with a straight face. Shannon sighed, took one of her slices in exchange even though he hated broccoli.

“You were going to tell me about that yoga studio?”

She finished a bite of the garlic and olive pizza, wiped tomato sauce from the side of her mouth with her finger and licked it. Shannon loved watching her eat. There was so much enjoyment there. It also amazed him how someone as small and slender as Susan could pack away so much.

“Emily and I were talking this morning and we both thought it would be a good idea,” she said.

“It figures.”

“Now don’t start up! You want to hear what I have to say or don’t you?”

Shannon sighed, nodding.

“Okay, then.” She stopped to take another bite of her slice. After she chewed it and brushed some crumbs from her mouth, she went on, “Emily tried joining first, but they wouldn’t let her. I figured that was because she came across as her normal, self-confident, blustery self. They told her that they couldn’t help her and insisted that she leave. When I tried joining, I made myself into a victim. I have no one, my life is falling apart, I don’t know what else to try, oh poor me. I even cried a few crocodile tears. You would’ve fallen over in your seat if you could’ve seen my performance.”

“How about another performance later tonight? Cheerleader and the tough guy detective? I’ll see if I can score you some pom-poms.”

“Dream on, hon. Anyway, for seventy-nine dollars a month they welcomed me into the fold. What a bargain, huh?”

“Hmmm,” Shannon said.

“That’s the second time tonight you’ve done that! What’s this hmmm about?”

“I’m not so sure that it was strictly your act that got you accepted and Emily the heave ho.”

“Heave ho, huh?” Susan remarked, smiling. “I think you’ve been watching too many Three Stooges shorts, buster!”

“Alright. Rejected, bounced, booted out the door, sayonara sister. I think you got in and Emily didn’t because you physically fit the mold of what they’re looking for, Emily doesn’t.”

“And what mold is that?”

“Petite and very attractive.”

“Emily’s attractive. And she’s younger than I am!”

Shannon didn’t argue the point-he knew the trouble he’d get into if he tried. Susan took another bite of her pizza, her eyes somewhat distant as she chewed. “There were only women there,” she said. “I didn’t think that was unusual for a yoga class. But now that you mention it they were all my size… and I guess all of them would be considered attractive.”

“That’s what I saw when I went there, and later when I went to True Light’s compound.”

“Why do you think that is?” she asked, but it was strictly rhetorical. He could tell by her tone and expression that she knew why. Shannon answered anyway. “Vishna’s taste in women for the harem he’s building.”

Susan sat there stewing, a darkness clouding her face. “What a despicable place,” she said.

“I agree. That’s why I don’t want you going back there. If for no other reason than it’s not good to be around that type of negative energy.”

“Oh, but I am going back there, my darling. Anything I can do to help you nail that place, I’m going to. Also, the great all-powerful Vishna is supposed to make a visit in the next couple of days. I’m dying to see the look on his face when I tell him off!”

Her eyes smoldered with anger, and while the passion made her more beautiful it also made her eat faster and with less awareness of what she was doing. Shannon watched helplessly as she tossed her remaining pizza crust on her plate and took the third and final slice of garlic and olive, too caught up in her emotions to realize what she was doing. He stared glumly at the two slices of broccoli pizza that were left for him before looking back at her.

“The place is freakish over there, hon,” she said, the words tumbling out of her. “The instructor, a girl named Luanne, had this glazed, zombie look in her eyes. So did her assistant, Debbi with an i, and the rest of the girls there weren’t much better. And the positions they put us through were not yoga. I think they were designed more to cramp and stress the muscle than to stretch it. Anyway, it was tiring, and while we were in those positions Luanne and Debbi with an i would walk around the room and put their hands on our backs and whisper stuff to us about how our chakras were all wrong, and how we had all this hidden sickness that needed healing, but that Vishna could bring us to peace and health. At least that’s what they were doing when they weren’t having us chant.”

“I heard some of that chanting when I was there. Something like: ‘Vishna the one true source’.”

“That was one of them,” she said, nodding. “Also, ‘Vishna will lead us all to peace and serenity’. And my favorite: ‘open your hearts and minds to the touch of Vishna’.”

“People there were buying it?”

“They seemed to be. I’m so furious a place like that exists. Those poor girls who go there have no clue what they’re being sucked into. And they’re so young! Other than me, I don’t think there was anyone there older than twenty.”

“Probably helped that you don’t look much older than that yourself, otherwise I don’t think they would’ve let you join the flock.”

“I had that thought also, so I lied on my application and put down that I was twenty-five. I figured if they were as out of it as they looked I could pull it off.”

“Even if they were bright-eyed and bushytailed you could pull off twenty-five.”

“Right.” Susan rolled her eyes. “Anyway, I’m sure the bad lighting there, along with the incense-induced fog, didn’t hurt. As bizarre as the experience was, it was kind of fun trying to figure out what homeopathic remedy types all those people were.”

“Did you figure any of them out?”

“Still working on it.” As she took another bite of her garlic and olive pizza slice, she stared down at it, puzzled-her outrage toward Vishna Yoga having calmed to the point where she could taste what she was eating-then gave an equally puzzled look at the rest of the pie. “Oh, hon,” she said apologetically. “I’ve been stealing your half of the pizza!”

“I didn’t even notice,” Shannon said as he avoided the chunk of broccoli on his slice.

“Sure you didn’t. I’ll make up for it later, maybe see if I can buy some secondhand pom-poms after all.” Her face brightened. “Oh, I haven’t told you some terrific news I got! I talked with my Stramonium patient-the one who works as a psychic for police departments-and he’s had a remarkable turnaround. His checkup today showed that all of his systems have improved greatly. His heart, kidneys and liver were all failing before. Now none of them are. His doctor’s completely baffled as to what’s happened, and had to admit to him that it’s looking like he’s going to fully recover!”

“That is terrific news,” Shannon said. “You gave him the remedy only a couple of days ago. Can it work that fast and dramatically?”

“It definitely can, hon, as he’s proving. I talked to him about you also and he’s willing to meet with you. He has no idea if he’ll be able to contact those deceased students-he’s never done that before, but he’ll give it a try if you’d like. He’ll need articles of clothing from them. That’s what he uses when he connects to the dead and near-dead children that he finds. His name’s Les Hasherford. It’s probably too late for you to call now, but I’ll give you his number when we get back to the hotel and you can try him tomorrow.”

“Les Hasherford,” Shannon repeated. “His name’s familiar.” He hesitated, his eyes squinting as he concentrated. “I think he consulted on a case in Watertown when I was on the force. If I remember right he helped find a little girl who had been buried in some perv’s basement. He saved her life.”

Susan nodded, her eyes misting. “He told me about that when he found out I was from Cambridge. You don’t know what it means to me to be able to have this type of impact on his life.”

“I’m proud of you, darling,” Shannon said.

“I know.” Her eyes turned liquid as she closed them part way and flashed a smile that made him weak in his knees. “Right now I wish we had ordered room service,” she said, her voice a soft throaty whisper.

Shannon nodded silently. He dropped twenty dollars on the table to cover the bill, then walked Susan out of the restaurant. Eddie had packed up and left his spot under the streetlamp and the rest of Pearl Street seemed desolate; the few college kids and transients they had passed earlier having already called it a night. Susan held him close as they walked, her thin arm wrapped tightly around his waist. In the cool night air he could feel her body shiver. It was so quiet and still out, as if they had all of downtown Boulder to themselves. When they got back to their room, Susan took hold of his hand and led him to the bed. He watched as she undressed and then he joined her. There was so much emotion in her, so much passion as her body buckled wildly under his, her breath hot against his face. It was a long time before they were done.

Afterwards, Susan fell asleep quickly, her head nestled against his shoulder, her legs lying over his, one of her arms stretched across his chest. There was a contentment in her as she slept. Shannon had an arm around her side and could feel the rising and falling of her ribs as she breathed. He let his hand drop so that his fingertips touched her small hip and felt the coolness of her skin. He felt relaxed as he lay there, as if he could drift off easily. He almost did several times, but he tried to stay awake and concentrate on one of the lucid dream exercises Eli had given him. It was hard, though, his thoughts drifting away while his own breathing grew more shallow.

Then he was simply drifting along, his body bobbing up and down as if he were riding waves at the beach. After a while he saw her in the distance. A shawl draped over her shoulders covered her as she sat with her knees bent to her chest and her hands clasped together around her legs. She looked so small and frail sitting alone, almost like a porcelain figurine. Long blond hair fell past her shoulders and ran halfway down her back. She turned to face him and he recognized her. Reluctantly, he accepted that he would have to talk to her. The next thing he knew he was no longer floating peacefully in the current he’d been caught up in, but now had his feet rooted firmly on the ground as he stood next to her. He saw the headstone by her elbow, then all the others. As he read the words carved on the polished black granite stone next to her, he realized she was sitting by her own grave.

“Linda Gibson?” he asked her.

She nodded, her eyes glassy as she looked up at him. Her face was as expressionless as a doll’s. She pulled the shawl tighter around her.

“The police are investigating your father now.”

“I know. Thank you.”

“Did he kill you?”

She shrugged weakly. “What do you think?”

Shannon found himself shaking his head. “Your mother?”

“No.”

“But your father-he did abuse you?”

“Yes, he did. Since I was twelve. He didn’t stop until I was fifteen. When I went to college he started on Gloria. There was no one to protect her after I left.”

“Is that why your mother sent her off to France?”

“No. Mom did that after I confronted her and Dad over Thanksgiving. Before that I don’t think it much mattered to her.”

“Your mother knew what he did to you?”

“She knew. I told her dozens of times, but she always acted as if I were making it up. She knew, though. It’s why she wouldn’t let me see a gynecologist until he stopped. She didn’t want anyone seeing the bruising and swelling that he caused.”

“I’m so sorry, Linda.”

“There’s nothing for you to apologize for.”

“I’m still sorry that had to happen to you.”

She nodded, her expression still little more than what could’ve been painted on a doll’s face.

“Linda, who killed you?” he asked.

She stared blankly at him, didn’t answer.

“Can you at least give me a clue?”

Her lips twisted into a slight smile. “Mit vergnugen,” she told him.

He woke up then. For a minute or so, he tried to hold onto the peacefulness he’d felt when he’d been floating in his dream. It was gone, though, no remnants of it remained for him to grasp onto. Grudgingly he gave it up, and instead thought about the conversation his dream-self had with Linda Gibson. He decided that she was nothing more than the manifestation of his subconscious, brought up so he could work out his thoughts about her and the events of the past day. He got up, scribbled down some notes, then went back to bed. After a long time he drifted into something close to sleep.