Black Dog

Forty-Seven

Mike Freeman sat in Stone’s office with Joan sitting next to him.

“That’s it,” Mike said. “And don’t worry, I’m giving you the family rate.”

“I’m not sure I can afford the family rate,” she said.

“Okay, I can just treat you like everybody else and double it.”

“I’ll take the family rate. When will I be safe?”

“When you get home from work, you’ll walk into a safe home.”

“I’ll be home at six.”

“We can do that.”

She handed him a clump of keys. “Those are the Israeli ones. They’re impossible to duplicate, so don’t lose any.”

“We can duplicate them,” Mike said.

“I paid all that money for keys that can’t be duplicated, unless you go to Israel, but you can duplicate them?”

“Let’s say that we have a little corner of Israel in our cellar, just for occasions like this.”

“Just don’t lose any.”

“Old money is cheap,” Stone said.

“I thought you were new money, Joan,” Mike said.

“She is,” Stone replied, “but her money is old.”

“Let me see your .45,” Mike said to her.

Joan reached under her skirt and produced the weapon.

“This is filthy,” Mike said, examining it.

“I haven’t sent the laundry out yet,” Joan replied.

“We’ll get you a cleaning kit and show you how to disassemble it.”

“I thought guns were self-cleaning.”

“You’ve been watching too many infomercials on TV. Guns aren’t like that. If you don’t take care of them, they can blow up in your face.”

“Bring me a cleaning kit,” Joan said, “and put it on my bill.”

“We’ll throw that in with the family rate.”

“Even better.”

Mike stood up. “Okay, I’m going over to your house and position my people.”

“Can I have my .45 back?”

“Not until we’ve cleaned it.”

“Will I recognize it?”

“Barely,” Mike said. He put the gun into his briefcase and left.

At five o’clock, Stone buzzed Joan.

“Yes, sir?”

“Come on, I’ll drive you home.”

“I can get a cab.”

“I want to do the walk-through with you and see what Mike’s setup is.”

“But then you’ll know everything.”

“Come on, I promise to stay out of your underwear drawer.”

Fred drove them, and as he approached the house, the garage door opened, seemingly of its own volition. Mike was in the garage, talking to some of his people. He introduced them all to Joan, Stone, and Fred.

“Okay, let’s take the elevator up to the eighth floor,” Mike said. They rode up, and one of Mike’s people was in the car with them.

“What’s that guy doing in the elevator with us?” Joan whispered to Mike.

“He’s making sure there are no intruders on the elevator with us.”

“Is he armed?”

“All my people are armed.”

“Where’s my .45?”

They got off the elevator and Mike picked up her weapon, which was lying on the coffee table. He was about to show her how to disassemble it, but Joan fieldstripped it, worked the action, then reassembled it, reinserted the magazine, and pumped a round into the chamber. “Nice work,” she said, flipping on the safety.

Mike handed her a leather box. “And here is your cleaning kit. It should always be cleaned after it’s fired.”

“I can do that,” Joan said.

He handed her a small velvet box. “Open it,” he said.

Joan found a locket on a gold chain inside.

“I didn’t know you were so sentimental, Mike.”

“It’s an electronic device.”

“You mean like ‘I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up’?”

“Better than that. All you do is press it, then say whatever you like. ‘Intruder,’ for instance, or ‘fire in the kitchen.’ Like that.”

Joan pressed it and said, “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up.”

“Perfect, but don’t use that line. My people will think you’re kidding.”

Joan tried again. “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up. NO KIDDING!”

“That’s better. Pretty, isn’t it? We gave you the Cartier model. Wear it at all times.”

“In the bathtub, too?”

“Especially in the bathtub. We don’t want you to hurt yourself trying to get to it when you need it. Don’t worry, it’s waterproof.”

“Won’t it hear the splash?”

“Only if you’re wearing it. It charges on a pad at your bedside. Leave it there every night when you go to bed.”

He gave her a remote control device. “We’ve put one of these on all three of your cars, so the garage door will know you’re coming. The buttons turn on and off anything you like. Just point it.”

Joan pointed it at a lamp and it came on. Then she turned it off again. “Good.”

“The button at the bottom turns everything in the house on. When you get into bed for the night, you can turn all the lights off from there.”

“What’s Geoffrey going to do for a living?”

“Geoffrey is now your driver and bodyguard. He spent the afternoon training on our firing range. He already has a carry license.”

“Then who’s going to be the butler?”

“Geoffrey, when he’s not protecting you.”

“You’ll get your money’s worth out of Geoffrey,” Stone said.

They continued their tour until Joan had everything down pat.

“Okay, I’m briefed,” she said to Stone. “Now make all these people disappear, so I can take a bath and change. I’m going out for dinner.”

“They will seem to disappear, but they’ll still be there to protect you,” Stone said. “Who are you having dinner with?”

“Eddie Jr.,” she said. “Only kidding. It’s none of your business.”

“Give one of these people his name, so they won’t shoot him,” Stone said. “Good evening to you!”

“And good riddance to you!”