Caveat emptor

69

Afterward, on bad days, Tilla would blame herself for the delay she had caused by insisting on taking Grata and the baby to safety. On those days, she would blame herself for everything. Sometimes the Medicus would tell her that they were both at fault, and at other times they would agree that Dias had been the cause of it all. The truth was that they would never know. All they could say with certainty was that if they had been a few minutes earlier, it might not have happened.

If only Tilla had demanded a proper horse, instead of the fat little pony that the stable boy had insisted on leading across to the mounting block because he seemed to think a woman would not know how to get on without help. If only she had not distracted him by asking if he had never seen a woman in skirts hitch them up and ride astride before. If only it had not begun to rain in thick cold drops as they trotted through the town toward the south gates, and if only they had not had to shout for the men to come out of the guardhouse and confirm that, yes, they had seen Camma hurrying past less than an hour ago.

If only they had not wasted time riding through the cemetery and calling her name into the woods, with Tilla pushing windswept hair out of her eyes and shivering, wishing she had brought a cloak, while the horses’ hooves churned up the wet grass between the graves. If only there had been a funeral that afternoon, the cemetery slaves might not have smelled of beer as they wandered out of their hut to see what was going on. They might have remembered which way the wild-haired woman had gone after she had left.

If only she had not paused to cut a switch to wake the fat pony because it refused to speed up even when the Medicus tried to lead it with his own horse, and if only he had not slowed so that he could keep her in sight…

If none of these things had happened, then Dias might not have already been on his way back from Caratius’s farm by the time they arrived, galloping headlong toward them on the track through the woods and reining his horse in as he saw the Medicus waving at him. Tilla was too far away to hear what they were saying to each other before Dias yanked the horse’s head around and both men raced back toward the house. Even the fat pony seemed to understand, too late, that she needed to hurry.

Through the rain Tilla could see servants clustered around something at the foot of the house steps. The Medicus slid down off his horse and ran toward them. As they parted to let him through, she could see a splash of bright hair on the ground, golden against the scarlet of blood. The fat pony’s hoofbeats slowed and she heard the thin, terrified screams of the old woman.

The Medicus was bending over Camma, talking to her, but he was asking the same questions again and again. Can you hear me? Camma, can you hear me? He was trying to wipe the blood from the side of her head and shelter her from the rain with a borrowed cloak and organize the servants to bring something to lay her on and get her up to the house.

All the time the old woman was clinging on to the door frame wailing and crying and the maid was trying to reassure her and coax her back inside. Dias was saying, “I couldn’t stop her. I saw it happening and I couldn’t get there in time to stop her.” Caratius was there, kneeling in the mud beside his former wife, his gray hair lank and dark with the wet. When he looked up and roared, “Silence!” to Dias, was that rain on his face, or tears?

According to the maid, Caratius had been up in the top paddock assessing a lame foal when Camma had appeared out of the rain, running toward the house with dripping hair, her skirts gathered in her fists and mud splashed up her legs and a warrior chasing after her on horseback. The maid had opened the door, then rushed to the kitchen to fetch the cook and tell the kitchen boy to find the master. In that brief moment it seemed nobody except Dias had seen the old woman shuffle out onto the porch with a bag clutched in one hand and her walking stick in the other, and lunge with the stick. Camma had fallen back down the steps while the old woman cried out something about Boudica and a little boy.

Dias told them he had been trying to catch up with Camma to offer her protection. Tilla said, “Like you did with Grata?” and he said nothing. When he left, saying he would take the news back to town, the Medicus followed him out into the rain.

She could hear the maid in the old woman’s room, singing softly to calm her. Caratius was bending over his beautiful dead wife, stroking her hair. He looked up. His voice was strained, almost pleading, as he formed the words, “I never meant her any harm.” For once he was speaking in the tongue of his ancestors.

“She knew that,” said Tilla, crouching beside the old man she had once thought dangerous, and then merely foolish and pompous, and putting a hand over his. “She was coming here to make her peace with you.”