Cipher

Chapter Eleven

Ashlyn thrust a wetsuit at Summer. “Put this on.”

Summer squinted at the first rays of the day. The chilly air bit her nose, and goose bumps crawled up her arms and legs. “I can’t believe you got me up revoltingly early for this. When you said swimsuits, I was thinking hot-tubbing. Something warm and relaxing.”

Ashlyn stepped into her wetsuit. “You wanna be a Barbie girl, or a real Cali girl?

“Real.” Summer rubbed her arms, trying to warm herself up. “The kind that lies in the sand and doesn’t go into the freezing cold water at the butt crack of dawn.”“First thing in the morning is the most exhilarating time. Now, suit up.”

The rubbery wetsuit gripped Summer’s skin, as if it was rejecting the thought of going into the ocean, too. As soon as she zipped it up, Ashlyn handed her a tall surfboard, then grabbed a shorter board. “This is going to be fun. You’ll see.”

Summer groaned before following Ashlyn to the sand. “I’m not that much taller than you. Why do I get the giant board?”

“It’s a long board, and it’s easier to learn on. First we figure out your stance and find the sweet spot. Then we’ll work on the rest.”

Ashlyn went over the how-tos of surfing and demonstrated how to stand. They practiced a couple times on dry land, until Summer thought she was ready to try in the water.

Icy needles stabbed through Summer as she entered the frothy water, every part of her body coming alert. Caffeine had nothing on this kind of jolt. Salt water splashed in her face as she paddled out after Ashlyn. Already she’d changed her mind about learning to surf. That Too late to turn back now saying popped into her head.

When they got out into the deeper water, Ashlyn sat up on her board, dangling her feet off the sides. Summer followed suit. They floated, staring at the cloudless gray sky while waiting to catch a wave—or what Ashlyn called baby waves.

Ashlyn’s body tensed. “Here comes a wave. Now, remember all the things I said and try to catch it.”

The wave came toward them, and Summer tried to stand up. She put too much weight on the back and ended up toppling off her board. Fighting for her bearings, she flailed in the water until finding her board again. She climbed back on, choking on saltwater.

Okay, so it was harder than it looked, but Summer was determined to catch the next one. She looked behind her, watched the wave approach, and tried to remember all of Ashlyn’s tips.

Time after time, wave after wave, Summer got the same tumbling result. She got to her knees a few times, but every time she tried to stand, she crashed. Just when she was about to give up, she stood and rode for a few short seconds before falling into the water.

That small win was enough for her to get back on her board and go again and again, until every muscle in her body ached and it was time to get back to shore.

As Summer and Ashlyn walked onto the beach, their wet footprints trailing behind them, Ashlyn’s breath came out in jagged bursts. She dropped her board to the sand and clutched her chest.

Summer rushed over to her. “Are you okay?” Dread seized her, her insides turning as cold as her skin. She’d gotten so caught up in having fun with Ashlyn, she forgot she’d started hanging out with the girl due to her freaky job. A job involving making peace between Ashlyn and her mom—something Summer hadn’t come even close to doing.

“I’m fine,” Ashlyn wheezed. “I get a little short-winded when I surf. Or do most anything, it seems.” She took a step, then bent over, hands on her knees, and took a few more deep breaths. “Just give me a minute.”

For the first time, Ashlyn looked weak. Summer hadn’t known her long, but already she considered her a friend. One she couldn’t bear to lose.

Terrified of what she’d see, Summer reached out a shaky hand and placed it on Ashlyn’s shoulder. If this was the end, she needed to say or do something, and fast.

Nothing. She and Ashlyn were still standing on the beach, no flash-forward movie images forcing their way into Summer’s mind. She breathed a sigh of relief and glanced around the empty beach. “Maybe I should go get a lifeguard.”

“No, I’m fine.” Ashlyn took in another breath and slowly let it out. “We better get going, or we’ll be late for school. Mother will write me a note because it’s exercise, but that doesn’t help you.” She picked up her board and nudged Summer. “Admit it. You loved being out in that water chasing waves.”

Summer grinned. Because Ashlyn looked much better now, and somehow, even with being coerced into the biting cold water and the frustration of trying to catch a wave, she did love it.

With approximately ten minutes to change and get ready for school, Ashlyn showed Summer a bathroom she could use, then headed to her bedroom to get ready. Summer took the quickest shower known to man and threw on her clothes. In Chicago, she never wore heels and a skirt to school—the weather and icy sidewalks didn’t permit it. She stared at the lacy skater skirt and wedges combo now, wishing she’d brought jeans and flip flops instead. She didn’t have anything else, though, so it’d have to do.

A quick swipe of mascara. Lip gloss. Summer dug deeper into her bag, her hand not finding what it was looking for. “Oh, holy crap. I forgot my hair serum.” Right now her curls were damp. As they air dried, they’d get bigger and frizzier. But like her outfit, it was too late to do anything about it now.

When Ashlyn wasn’t in her room, Summer continued down the hall to the kitchen.

“If you lost some weight, you could wear the new clothes I bought you,” Pamela said. “All you have to do is watch what you eat and up your cardio.”

“I’m doing the best I can, Mother.” Ashlyn’s voice cracked, the pain in it clear. “I just got back from surfing, and I’ve been eating tons of fruits and veggies.”

“Ashlyn?” Summer said, nice and loud, and then took the remaining steps into the kitchen. “There you are.”

Pamela brought her hands together as she looked from Summer to Ashlyn. “You two should start jogging together—it’s always more fun with someone else. Or you could even come into the gym.” She raised her eyebrows at Summer. “I could get you in on a free pass.”

Summer had no idea what to say. The only person who wasn’t uncomfortable was Pamela, who seemed clueless that every word she said insulted her daughter in some way. She racked her brain, trying to find a good solution and coming up empty. Yelling at Pamela to leave Ashlyn alone hardly seemed like the thing to do to make peace between them. “Ashlyn taught me to surf this morning. It was amazing exercise.”

“That’s a good start.” Pamela took a sip from her water bottle—she looked like she was on her way to the gym now. “Did you know that if you feel full at the end of a meal, you already ate too much?”

“Thanks for the tips, Mother. We’ve got to get to school so we’re not late.” Ashlyn walked past her mom, and Summer followed.

Ashlyn shook her head. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine. I’m sure she just cares about you.”

“She just cares about how much I weigh. I’m so sick of her bringing it up every few seconds. Like I can’t see myself in the mirror.” They stepped outside, and Ashlyn slammed the door behind them.

Summer followed her to the car, feeling useless, desperately wishing she could think of something to say that wouldn’t make Ashlyn feel worse about herself.

Summer had come in to first period too late to talk to Troy before it started, so she made sure to catch him after class as they headed out of the room. “Hey, Mister Bond. Guess what I did this morning.”

“Came to school,” Troy said, a big smile on his face that made it clear he thought he was hilarious.

“Yes.” Summer drenched her words in sarcasm. “That’s what I wanted to tell you about. Exciting, huh?”

His grin widened. “You’re feisty this morning. So, what did you do?”

“Ashlyn forced me into the ocean at the butt crack of dawn and taught me how to surf.”

“Without me? I’m jealous.” Troy had offered to teach her to surf before, but something—or someone, technically—always got in the way. “You better call me next time. I’d like to see you on a surfboard.”

“Hi, Troy,” a female voice purred, lots of breathiness behind it. Lexi. She shot him a big grin, complete with eye batting. Kendall was with her, but her attention was on her phone.

“Lexi. Hey.” He tucked his books under his arm. “I better get to my next class.” He took a few steps, then spun around, and gave Summer the nod. “Later, Sunshine.”

“Wait, Troy.” Lexi hurried after him. “I want to ask you a quick question.” Yesterday at practice, Summer had told Lexi that Troy liked someone else, but apparently she wasn’t going to let that minor detail get in her way.

“Did you run out of product?” Kendall poked at Summer’s curls. “Your hair is huge.”

“I forgot it.” Summer patted the top of her head, assessing the frizzage. “It’s not that bad, is it?”

“As your friend, I feel I’m obligated to tell you the truth, even if it hurts. So yeah, it’s bad.”

Summer gave her a tight smile. “Well, thanks.”

“You should pull it back.”

Summer shrugged. “Whatever.” Her leftover high from surfing this morning made her crazy hair not seem like that big of a deal. Besides, she’d decided to run with the crazy today.

Kendall shook her head. “Just make sure you look presentable on Friday.”

“Yeah, about your party. You’ll be busy, and you’ll have Jack—”

“You are not cancelling on me.”

“Of course not.” Summer bit her lip. “I was just thinking of bring reinforcements. I need someone to get me through the night.”

Kendall leaned in conspiratorially. “Who’s the new guy?”

“No, not a guy. I’m going to bring Ashlyn. For moral support,” she added when Kendall continued to stare.

“That girl you keep hanging around?” Kendall asked, as if she didn’t know.

Summer nodded, deciding the fewer words Kendall could turn on her, the better.

“Whatever,” she huffed. “Just don’t bring the whole Reject Gang. That would be a huge party killer.”

Good enough for Summer, even if she didn’t agree. She broke away from Kendall before she changed her mind and headed to the cafeteria. She caught Ashlyn just before she reached the table. “Okay, so you’re going to come with me to Kendall’s birthday party on Friday.”

Ashlyn’s eyebrows shot up so high they got lost in her bangs. “No way. I’m not goin’ to that.”

“But…?” Summer thought she’d be happy. Kendall went all out, and most people tried to get invites. “It’ll be fun.”

Ashlyn pressed her lips together, almost like she was afraid of how she might respond.

“Come on, you dragged me out into the freezing water first thing in the morning,” Summer said. “I doubted you at first, but now I’m happy that I let you talk me into it.”

“I don’t want to be around those people.” Ashlyn’s eyes met Summer’s. “And I’m afraid of who you’ll be around them.”

Frustration bubbled up, along with a twinge of offense. “I’ll be me. But I’ll have you to make the night more interesting.”

Ashlyn started toward the table, then spun around so fast Summer nearly plowed into her. “I heard you and your friends making fun of some people a couple months back, okay? You didn’t really say anything, but you laughed along with the rest of them. That’s why I didn’t like you at first. That’s why I felt so protective of our group. I like hanging out with you, but you and them…? I don’t think I’ll like it.”

All the times she’d made fun of others came back to her, unwelcome memories she’d rather erase. Jabs against fashion. Dancing. Social skills—she’d pretty much covered all the topics. She’d thought of it as light-hearted fun. But she couldn’t deny the fact that most of the people she’d mocked were kind-hearted guys and girls who would be crushed by her comments. Memories stacked one by one on her shoulders, weighing her down.

“You’re right. There’ve been times when I was downright bitchy, no good excuse for it. I can’t change the past. But I swear, I’m trying to be better. I have to go to this party, and Cody will be there. I don’t want to face him alone.”

“Then take Troy.”

“That’s not a good idea with Cody there. They don’t like each other, and the last thing I need is a fight to break out.” The bag in Summer’s hand crinkled as she clasped her hands in prayer position. “Please, Ash. I really want you to go with me. I need you to remind me of that stuff we talked about in the car before your soda peed all over you.”

Not even a smile. Tough crowd. Without a word, Ashlyn looped around the table and sat in her normal place. Unsure what else to do, Summer sat in hers. When Ashlyn looked across the table, Summer put on her best puppy dog face, sticking her bottom lip out as far as she could.

Ashlyn rolled her eyes and heaved a sigh. “Fine, I’ll go. Don’t make me regret it.”

“I won’t. I promise.” Summer got out her lunch: A peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a mini bag of Doritos, and a sandwich bag filled with Oreos.

Ashlyn shook her head. “I seriously can’t believe all you eat is junk food. It’s so unfair.”

“It’s not junk food. There’s…fruit in the jam. Yeah, that makes it healthy.”

Troy plopped down next to Summer, straddling the bench and facing her instead of the table. “Meant to tell you earlier, but you look very rocker today.”

Summer tucked a frizzy curl behind her ear. “This is what happens when I don’t do my hair.”

One corner of Troy’s mouth twisted up. “I like it.” He glanced at Ashlyn. “I hear you got Sunshine out in the water this morning. Is she any good?”

“Not yet,” Ashlyn said. “But she will be once I’m through with her.”

Troy stole one of Summer’s Oreos and stood. “See you guys around.” With that, he was off. His visits were always so sporadic. A quick hi. A cookie snatching. A compliment about her wild hair—warmth filled her chest as she thought about that last one. She definitely preferred rocker to a huge mess.

But why’s he in such a hurry to be somewhere else, lately?

She twisted and watched him weave his way through the cafeteria. People stopped to talk or wave, no matter what group they were in. Skaters, gamers, stoners—there was some overlap there—the drama club, the people who were somewhere in between jocks and geeks, girls, guys. Basically Troy knew everyone, and everyone knew him.

Darren scooted next to Ashlyn, drawing Summer’s attention. It took almost an entire week, but Summer finally saw the small differences between him and Aaron. “Hey, I’ve got a joke for you guys.”

Summer propped her elbows on the table. “It’s been a while since I heard a good joke.”

Darren readjusted his round glasses. “How many computer support staffers does it take to change a light bulb?” He raised his eyebrows and looked at them, apparently waiting for an answer.

“No clue,” Ashlyn said.

He didn’t say anything, simply sat there like someone had hit his pause button.

Ashlyn nudged him. “Tell us.”

“Four. One to ask what the registration number of the bulb is, one to ask if you’ve tried to reboot, another to ask if you’ve tried reinstalling, and the last to say it must be your hardware, because our light bulb here is working fine.” He broke into laughter and smacked the table with his open palm.

Summer laughed more at his reaction to the joke than the actual punch line.

“So what did you think?” he asked.

“You know how I said it’s been a while since I’ve heard a good joke?” Summer was going to say, It still has, but he looked so proud and sincere, and she didn’t know if he’d get her sarcasm. “I guess I’ll have to restart my countdown.”

Darren made a fist and yanked it down. “Score!”

Aaron scooted down. “Okay, if you think that one is good, wait until you hear mine…”

Summer listened to another computer joke that she didn’t even come close to getting, but she laughed anyway. Although she didn’t have much in common with anyone in this group besides Ashlyn, she felt more relaxed here. No one mentioned her hair needed serum or whose parents were getting divorced. They didn’t imply Dad was dating someone too young for him. Regardless of the fact most of them got teased on a regular basis, they seemed so confident in who they were. She admired that about them.

It wasn’t like she could divulge her biggest secret—that she sometimes saw deaths before they happened. Or that she and the Angel of Death were on a first name basis. Still, here existed a security she didn’t feel with her other friends. An acceptance that didn’t rely on whom you were dating, what you wore, or if you were any good at sports.

Aaron looked across the table and flashed his crooked grin at her. “We’re glad you come hang out with us sometimes.”

“I have a good time over here,” Summer said. “Where else can you get lunch and computer jokes?”

Aaron’s eyebrows lowered. “Do you want the statistics, or is that one of those rhetorical questions I keep getting in trouble for answering?”

“It was rhetorical, but it’s good to know I can come to you if I’m looking for stats.”

That prompted him to pull out his calculator and show her a program he had in it to help calculate statistics. When Summer’s gaze drifted up, she saw some of the girls from the dance team pointing at them. Summer waved, but the girls walked away without waving back, or even acknowledging her presence.

Maybe they didn’t see me. Come to think of it, though, she was getting a lot of icy looks from the squad. She supposed she should stick around after practice and try to make nice before she lost half her friends.

This whole balance thing was trickier than she’d expected. Add one more item to her Things-I’m-failing-at list.

Summer dragged herself upstairs to her bedroom, every step taking way more effort than it should. During practice, several of the girls had made catty comments to her, and because of her early morning surf session, she hadn’t had the desire or energy to hang out afterwards to try to repair things. If they wanted to be rude, that was their problem.

Gabriella sat on the foot of the bed, drumming her fingers on her thighs. If Summer had enough energy to run in the other direction, she would’ve. The Angel of Death straightened, her eyes brightening, so it was too late anyway. “Hello, Summer Dear! How are things coming along with Ashlyn and her mom?”

Geez, is the woman never not cheery? Summer swung her door closed and tossed her bag on the floor. “I’m starting to think that Ashlyn’s mom deserves to feel guilty. Ashlyn will be happy, then Pamela puts her down, and her self-esteem plummets.”

“Well, that’s exactly why you’re supposed to be helping them repair their relationship, and you need to do it soon. Before it’s too late.”

The reason Summer had gotten to know Ashlyn was because Gabriella told her to. Because Ashlyn was dying. An ache radiated over her heart, and she pressed her hand to her chest. Over the past few days she’d found out just how awesome Ashlyn was. She hadn’t wanted her to die before, but now… The ache sharpened, digging in its claws. “Can’t I do something to keep her from dying?”

Gabriella let out a long-suffering sigh. “This is your problem. You don’t realize the importance of your job.”

Summer ran a hand through her hair and flopped down on the bed next to Gabriella. “But I still have some time, right?”

“She’s got a little while yet, but that doesn’t mean you can waste it doing nothing.”

Her first instinct was to argue that she wasn’t doing nothing. She bit it back, trying to focus on what would help Ashlyn. “I just think she’ll trust me the more I get to know her. Then I’ll be able to do a better job figuring out how to help her.”

“I’m sure you’re right, but you’ve got to put a rush on it. I’m not sure what else to tell you. You should be a natural at this. I’m not used to working with someone who doesn’t—” Her head jerked up. “Your dad’s coming. I’ll try to check in again soon. But please, get moving on this.”

There was a knock on the door—Dad, apparently.

Summer waved her hand though the glittery outline Gabriella left, trying to disperse it. She wasn’t sure if Dad would be able to see it, but just in case, she thought it’d be easier to make sure it was gone than try to explain. When it finished fading, she raised her voice. “Come on in.”

Dad stepped inside and looked around. “It sounded like you were talking to someone.”

“I was on the phone.”

“Funny, because you left this in the key bowl.” Dad held up her cell phone. “It kept ringing, so I decided it might be important. You know, Kendall might’ve broken a nail or something.”

Summer bit her lip as Dad’s eyes bored into her. “I talk to myself sometimes. I didn’t want to say that because it makes me feel like a crazy person.”

Dad nodded his head and gave her a weak smile. “I talk to her too sometimes.”

Dad knows about Gabriella? “You do?”

“Sure. I miss your mom as much as you do. If I talk aloud, it sometimes feels like she’s listening.”

A giant lump formed in Summer’s throat. Ever since Tiffany had entered the picture, she’d decided Dad didn’t miss Mom as much as he should. Now, she felt like she didn’t miss her as much as she should. “You think she knows what we’re doing? That we miss her?”

Dad crossed the room and sat next to her, right where Gabriella was only moments ago. “I’m sure she does.”

Summer wondered what Mom thought about everything. How superficial she’d become since moving here, how she’d shut everything out, losing the independent person she used to pride herself on being in the process. And what did Mom think about Summer’s new job?

Dad patted Summer’s knee, and she suddenly wanted to tell him everything. She knew he’d have good advice to help her out with her Cipher job. But she couldn’t think of a way to tell him about it without disclosing her darkest secret. Without telling him she didn’t try hard enough to keep Mom alive.