Crashing Back Down

13

I woke up the next morning realizing that I hadn’t heard Walker come in the night before.

Remembering that we had plans for breakfast, I jumped out of bed, truly excited to see him. Even though Walker had seen me at my worst, I felt the need to make myself a little bit more presentable than usual.

I lifted my shirt to take a look at my freshly peeled tattoo. The skin was still tender and itchy, but it was healing fast. I loved my bird, and the memories it provoked were all warm and happy, helping relax my crazy mind. I stroked the tender skin, applying a fresh coat of ointment, hearing Randy tell me about these birds, as I curled up into his arms on his boat one sunny afternoon. The thought of Randy made me feel a little guilty for a moment. I had to make it a point to remind myself all my thoughts were innocent and justified, at least for the most part.

I pushed the memory of Randy out of my mind in a hurry, and got back on task. I got changed out of normal pajamas of an old Army shirt and sweats, and into short jean shorts and a black scoop neck; simple with just a hint of sexy.

Figuring I had the time, since it was eight in the morning and Walker would probably still be sleeping, I turned on my flat-iron and sat cross-legged in front of my mirror to do my makeup and hair. It only took me about ten minutes to tame my sleep-tousled hair and apply a quick layer of eye makeup.

Without hearing any movement in the house still, I made my way down to the kitchen to start brewing a much-needed pot of extra strong coffee. Even though I slept straight through the night, I felt like I hadn’t slept well in the slightest, figuring my brain hadn’t turned off entirely. Everything was still overwhelming to me, but I tried my best to keep the confusion, worry, and guilt at bay. So much had changed over the last few days and my thoughts were a jumbled mess that I didn’t want to deal with anymore on my own. I longed to go wake Walker up to start to work through the tangled mess in my brain, but I forced myself to stay put.

Leaning up against the counter next to the humming coffee pot, my eyes caught onto a strange purse sitting right next to mine on the table by the front door. I froze, my mind racing around and around, my stomach lurching. I felt like something had stabbed my heart.

Before I could make a move toward the foreign bag or to run back into the safety of my room, I heard Walker’s voice from his bedroom upstairs. “Hush, my roommate is sleeping. I don’t want to wake her.”

A familiar giggle emanated from the girl coming out of his room, making my heart sink more. I knew I’d heard that laugh before, but I just couldn’t seem to place it.

Still clinging to the counter for dear life, I could hear two sets of feet tiptoeing down the stairs, coming close to the kitchen. Walker was leading someone by the hand, but stopped dead in his tracks when he realized the kitchen light was on. I could only see him as he quickly turned to face me from the entrance of the kitchen.

A panicky frown filled his face. “Morning, Mags. I was trying not to wake you.” His eyes darted to his hand as he pulled the twittering girl into my view. My jaw dropped in disbelief as the blonde bartender from The Saloon came scooting into the entryway. “Mags, you remember Cindy, don’t you?” He wasn’t making eye contact with me.

I shook off my shock and moved toward Cindy, rage bubbling up in my stomach. I wanted to punch her in her giggling face; she was intruding on my home and my man, but I surprisingly kept my composure. With the images of tackling the whore to the ground in my thoughts, I forced a smile, my anger and calmness colliding making my brain thump angrily against my narrowing eyes.

“Hi, Cindy.” I waved. “Coffee? It just finished.”

I could not believe what was coming out of my mouth; my normal course of action would have been screaming for this bimbo to get the fuck out of my house, slapping Walker for the last forty-eight hours of torment he had put me through, and now this. He had just told me he wanted to be with me a day ago, and bringing this girl to my home was how he showed it? I did my best to mask the disdain in my voice, and to my surprise, Cindy didn’t seem to notice how upset I was.

A wave of relief came over me when Cindy declined my offer for coffee, claiming she needed to get home to walk her dog. My stomach churned when Cindy kissed Walker deeply goodbye, and headed out my front door. By the time she was gone, tears were forming pink streaks down my pale cheeks.

Walker turned to me, in shock. His desperate green eyes tried to search mine for any answers. His face was twisted into painful distress and seeing it made me want to hold him. I got angrier with those emotions and screamed out loud in frustration. When he tried to choke out an apology, I just held up my hand and told him, in the most even tone I could manage, “I frankly don’t give a shit what you have to say while that bitch’s scent is still on you. Go take a shower, give me a minute, and maybe I will be able to look at you.”

Sullenly, he let his gaze drop to his feet. “Yeah, okay.”

He walked up the stairs and turned on the shower right away. I heard his sighing and frustrated rants at how stupid he was as I made my way back into the kitchen.

At least we’re agreeing on one thing at the moment, you are an ass!

I sulked over to the kitchen table, collapsing into a hardwood chair. Seeing Walker with Cindy made me see I actually wanted to be with him. My stomach was killing me, and tears were surging down my hot cheeks as sobs choked out of my burning throat.

I detested the way I was feeling. It was an utterly different type of broken heart than what I had grown accustomed to. A wave of rejection and shame crashed hard as I replayed the morning’s events in my head. The worst part of it all was how stupid I felt for being like this. The last time Walker and I spoke, I told him we were friends and roommates, and that was that. I had no claims over him whatsoever. It was not my place to say he couldn’t sleep with whomever he wanted.

With a shudder, I thought about what Walker had done the night before. Maybe he took Cindy out on a date, or just went to The Saloon and got sloshed. For some strange reason I wanted to know. I felt like if it had been the latter, I wouldn’t be as mad. Or should I be madder? I was tormented and defeated, crying into my folded arms on top of my kitchen table, an utter blubbering fool.

I jumped up when I felt a warm hand touch the small of my back. I looked up into Walker’s surly face and stared, unable to find any words to say to him. He knelt down beside me, resting his head on my thigh. With a big sigh, he breathed, “I am so sorry. I got drunk and she was there. I didn’t sleep with her.” I still couldn’t find words for him; I just sat still and silent, hoping he would elaborate.

After a few minutes of silence, Walker finally got up the nerve to continue. “Mitch and I went to have a few beers. One thing led to another, and shots got involved. Once I was good and plastered, she pounced, but when she got back here, I couldn’t go through with it. But I was too lit to kick her out and she was way too drunk to drive home, so I let her crash here.”

I sat up straight quick and jerky like rusty cogs on a wheel, breaking our eye contact, feeling braver that way. “Walker, we’re friends. I have no say in what or who you do, but don’t lie to me about it. I’m sorry I overreacted.”

I got up from the table, shuffling my feet over to finally pour myself coffee; hopefully the caffeine would take care of my throbbing head. I was hurt he would make up a story. I knew Walker better than he thought, and he never turned a girl down. I was relieved he hadn’t taken her out on a date, though; she was just a fuck buddy. For some reason, I felt like I would be more upset if he had had an emotional connection with the tramp.

I grabbed two mugs out of the cupboard, turned to Walker questioningly, and he nodded. I poured our cups full and turned to him. He walked over to the fridge and bent down to get the creamer. From the glow of the fridge lighting up his face, I could see tears streaks glistening down his cheek. His face was full of sorrow and anger, his jaw flexing and grinding aggressively. I couldn’t help but feel bad. I desperately wanted to know what his thoughts were and if they were as tangled and twisted as mine. He walked back over to the table and took a seat, trying to give me a failed half-smile. Seeing him this way forced longing to take over all of my emotions and rational thought.

He put his head in his hands and started to cry a little softer. “Mags, why the fuck would I lie to you?” The desperation in his voice made the words sink in, and I knew right then he hadn’t slept with her. I couldn’t help but be relieved.

Without thinking it through, I set our mugs down on the table, grabbed Walker’s shirt and pulled him up, I said softly, “I believe you,” and pulled him into as passionate of a kiss I could muster, grabbing both side of his face hard with my shaking hands.

It only took a second for Walker to register what was going on and pull me forcefully to him, one hand pressed up against my lower back, the other on the back of my neck. Walker effortlessly picked me up and brought me over to the couch. He lay down on top of me as I moaned into his mouth. My hands clutching onto his back and his hands tangled in my hair roughly; I could feel my heart rate rising, my skin hot with passion. I had turned off my brain, just allowing myself to savor the closeness of Walker and how fantastic a kisser he was.

When his tongue penetrated, barely a whisper against my own, I tasted the mixture of coffee and cream still lingering on his tongue. It was somehow erotic; a secret shared between us, only revealed when we made love with our mouths. I moaned against him and felt the vibrations of it run through his mouth and reverberate back to me in some sort of passionate sound wave.

Kissing and nibbling my bottom lip, his right hand travelled down my cheek, to my neck and then all the way to my hip bone. Grabbing onto me, firmly pressing his fingertips into the sensitive skin over my tattoo. I gasped and groaned into his mouth, arching my back and thrusting gently into him. Quickly, Walker flipped me on top of him and pushed me away, looking directly into my eyes. “Mags?” His breath caught as he stared panting, his bedroom eyes confused and lustfully longing.

I leaned down, kissing his neck and cheek softly. “Let’s just not think about it right now, okay?”

He grabbed my face with both hands, kissed me back, thrusting his hips up into mine, sent chills throughout my entire body. I let out a soft moan and let my hands travel up his white shirt, feeling his wonderfully defined stomach and chest. His body flexed and trembled at my touch as he pulled my shirt off over my head.

His own moan mixed with mine as I placed my hands on his hips and hoisted myself up his body, before finally wrapping my legs around his middle and rubbing my core against his growing erection.

Within moments, we were both completely exposed, panting and kissing. His warm lips travelled from my mouth to my jaw line, then to my neck and along my collarbone. I sighed with satisfaction at how wonderful it felt as he started to gently suck on my nipple, cupping my breath gently at the base with his warm hand. Walker looked up at me and smiled seductively as he pushed me off him, onto the other side of the couch and climbed back on top of me. He lightly ran his tongue over both of my breasts, sending goose bumps all over my skin.

Quickly he jumped to his feet, grabbing his pants. He whisked out a condom, unwrapped it and slid it over himself. He clambered back on top of me and whispered into my ear, “I have never wanted someone as badly as I want you, right now, Mags.” At his words, my body ached for more of his and I groaned into his mouth as I kissed him as deeply as my shaking lips would allow.

He started to grind himself into me, making me surge with pleasure. Right when he heard my response, he slipped his hand down onto my wetness, gently rubbing, making me arch my back into him more. I softly bit down onto his bare shoulder as he went faster and rougher with me, suddenly shoving his entire length inside me. I gasped at how tight I felt and how rough he was. I let out a faint squeak and he retracted, pulling up from me, making concerned eye contact his chest heaving with deep breaths. I quickly grabbed his body and pulled it back down, thrusting him back into me.

Even though it was a little painful, I found myself unable to let him stop. I forced him out for just a moment, to let myself calm down from his thrusting. Electricity ran through my body as I couldn’t help but desire more of him. My fingers slowly started to tease him as I felt his length throb in my hand. Realizing it was my body that did that to him sent even more excitement through me. At that moment all I wanted was this, and Walker inside me, again.

I grabbed him with one hand and pulled my hips to meet his. He moaned into me as I forced his length into my wetness. He gently started to get into a rhythm, knotting his fingers into my hair again, pulling my head back roughly. I grabbed his hips, digging my nails gently into his strong muscular physique and begged for him to get rougher with me. His eyes shot open, full of lust and desire as he obliged my very whim. Our bodies were completely in sync as we rode out our climaxes together, heavily gasping and groaning lustfully into each other.

Walker’s gloriously glistening body, covered in a thin layer of sweat, rolled over on the couch, pulling my head onto his shoulder to hold me close to him. As he looked at me to speak, I just held my finger over his mouth. “I don’t want to start over-analyzing this yet. Let’s just lay here for a few minutes, please?”

He nodded and turned his head away from me, closing his eyes. I nestled my head down onto his shoulder. His embrace was so inviting, I never wanted this moment to end. Within seconds, sleep washed over us both as we stayed cuddled on the couch.