Chapter Sixteen

After lunch, Daisy dragged a chaise longue to the shore and dropped her shorts. She wore sunglasses and herwhite one-piece swimming suit, cut high on the hips. It had a built-in bra top and thin straps. The boys had gonefishing again, and she'd opted to stay behind. She pulled out the latest issue of Studio Photography & Designand stretched out on the chaise. She read an article on the Hasselblad V-System and dreamed about thespectacular photographs she could take with it. Then she must have fallen asleep for real, because she dreamedshe'd won first place in a Kodak photography contest and she hadn't even entered. She dreamed she was up onstage, bluffing her way through a speech about a photograph she didn't remember taking, and Steven was in thefront row watching.

She dreamed about him often, and in her dreams, he always appeared as he had before his illness. Healthy andhappy and she was always glad to see him. He never spoke, he just gave her a smile that let her know that hewas okay, and that she was okay too.

The sound of an outboard engine woke her up and she opened her eyes. Her sunglasses where still on her face,but the trade magazine had slipped to the ground. She sat up and wondered how long she'd been asleep. Sheswung her feet to the side and took off her sunglasses. The sun was definitely lower, although it would be a longtime before it set. Her tan skin had a twinge of red; she would pay for falling asleep in the Texas sunlight.

She tossed her glasses and the magazine on the chair then stood. She moved toward the shore as Jack's boatcame toward her, parting the water with its pointed nose. Daisy raised a hand to her forehead and shielded hereyes from the sun. Jack stood at the bow; his cowboy shirt unsnapped, the edges fluttering against his bare chestand stomach. Nathan sat in the driver's seat, his intent gaze on Jack.

"Turn it off and raise the motor," Jack called out.

Nathan looked down and the sound of the engine got louder as it rose out of the water, then it stopped.

The boat drifted closer and gently bumped into the shoreline.

Jack looked over his shoulder as he spoke to Nathan, telling him what a great job he'd done. He turned back andwent down on one knee to grab a rope tied to the front of the boat.

"You got sunburned while we were gone," Jack said as he slowly raised his gaze to hers.

Daisy looked down at herself. She pressed her fingers to her chest above her suit. Her fingertips left white printson her pink skin. "I fell asleep."

He dropped the anchor over the side of the boat into shallow water, then he jumped down from the bow andstood in front of her, blocking the sun. "You burned your love bite."

Again she glanced down at herself. Visible just above the top of her swimsuit, her birthmark was a little darkerthan the rest of her skin. "What are you doing staring at my birthmark?"

The corners of his mouth slid upward into a slow, sexy grin. "Just making casual conversation, buttercup," hedrawled.

Asking about her love bite wasn't casual. The last time he'd commented on it, they'd both been naked. Theheated look in his eyes told her he was remembering that time too.

Daisy swallowed passed the sudden lump in her throat. She lowered her gaze from his mouth, past the thin lineof hair that ran down his chest and flat stomach to his navel. She recalled perfectly what his skin felt likebeneath her palms.

"Mom, guess what?"

Daisy returned her gaze to Jack's, to the desire he tried but failed to hide. "What?"

"I caught a bigmouth bass." Nathan jumped from the boat and landed next to Jack.

"It's a beauty," Jack confirmed and his gazed dropped to her mouth.

She turned her attention to her son. Whatever was between her and Jack was best left alone. "Show me."

Nathan jumped back up on the bow of the boat, then moved to the stern. Daisy walked passed Jack and wadedinto the water up to her hips. She held on to the outside of the boat as Nathan opened the live well and pulledout a stringer.

Jack watched his son as he held up the bass for his mother. It swung close to Daisy's face and she jumped back.

"You're such a girl," Nathan said through a teasing laugh.

Jack turned and moved up the shore toward camp. He and Nathan had had a good time fishing.

He felt closer to his son than he had before they'd come to the lake. While they fished, Nathan had talked abouthis life, and Steven had been a big part of that life.

"Before I quit, I was quarterback on my Optimist football team," he'd told Jack. "My dad told me you guysplayed football growing up."

His dad. Jack had been very careful not to show the slightest emotion. "We did," he'd said past the bitter taste inhis mouth. "I played quarterback until I quit my junior year."

Nathan had nodded. "That's what dad said. He said you had to quit to work for your dad, and that's how he gotto be quarterback his last two years of school and get all the good lookin' girls."

"Your dad was a pretty smooth guy. He never had any problems with the girls." The longer they talked aboutSteven, the easier it got. The easier it was to swallow the bitterness. Jack remembered what it was like to lose afather - the confusion and the loneliness. For a few hours, he was able to forget about anger and betrayal andtalk to Nathan about what it had been like to grow up with Steven Monroe.

In the end, he was surprised to discover the more he talked about Steven, the more he got to know Nathan. Andthe more he got to know his son, the more he wanted to know. He still didn't feel like a father, although hewasn't even sure what a father was supposed to feel like.

Jack poured some water into a basin and washed his fishy hands with liquid soap. He glanced up as Nathan toreoff his shoes and shirt and jumped into the lake next to Daisy. She hollered his name as he splashed her.

It was very clear to Jack how Nathan felt about his mother. He might bitch that she babied him, but he lovedher. He might have hedgehog hair and a ring through his lip, but Billy was right. Daisy and Steven had done agood job raising Nathan. He was a good kid.

And Jack had nothing to do with it. He grabbed a towel and dried his hands. He tried not to let the bitternesshe'd hidden from Nathan rise up and eat a hole in him. He succeeded in keeping it tapped down, right next tothe burning ache in his gut that wanted Daisy Lee so bad it was driving him half crazy.

How could he still want her? Want to touch her as he sealed his mouth to hers? To feel the golden strands of herhair tangled around his fingers and the warmth of her skin against his palms? To smell her neck and to look intoher brown eyes as he made love to her? How could he want that and at the same time want to shake her and hurther as much as she'd hurt him? It didn't make a bit of sense to him.

Jack hung the towel on one shoulder and watched Nathan dive at Daisy. She screamed and he pulled her under.

Jack smiled despite himself. Daisy had a way of making him laugh when he didn't want to. Of making himremember things that brought a smile to his lips before he even realized what she was doing. Of reminding himthat they'd had a lot of good times together in the past, before things had gotten so fucked up.

If he closed his eyes, he could remember back to what she felt like in his arms. The weight of her body as sheleaned into him. The texture of her hair as he rested his chin on the top of her head. The sound of her voicesaying his name in anger or in ecstasy. The tastes and textures of Daisy Lee. He remembered it all and wishedlike hell he didn't.

Jack started charcoal burning in the fire pit and got out a cookstove. He put some Jimmy Buffet on the portableCD player and mixed flour, salt and pepper for the fish. While Jimmy sang about fins circling around, Jackcouldn't seem to keep his eyes off a certain white swimsuit jumping around and diving into the lake. Comingback up and looking almost transparent, but not quite.

When he and Nathan had returned this last time, Jack had stood on the bow of the boat and watched her walktoward the water. Toward him, looking like she was an underwear model wearing one of those one-pieceteddies that was cut up real high on her hips. Sexy as hell. Like a living, breathing wet dream. And for a fewseconds he'd wondered what it would be like if this was really his life. To return from a day out with his son andhave Daisy waiting for them. To grab her up and hold her against him. To touch her all he wanted. Anytime hewanted. Anywhere he wanted. For a few brief seconds, the thought of that life nearly sent him to his knees.

But that was not his life. Not reality, and he had no business even thinking about it.

Jack rolled the fish in the flour, then started the rice on the cookstove. Daisy and Nathan returned from the lakeand took turns changing in the tent. When Daisy emerged, she wore a soft blue pullover sweat shirt with GAPon the front, matching sweat pants, and white Nikes with a blue swoosh. Her hair was pulled back in one ofthose claw things. She set the picnic table while Jack cooked the fish in a skillet over the coals. They ate dinnertogether like a family. Talking and laughing. Jack had to remind himself that it wasn't real.

After dinner they played poker with wooden matchsticks. When it got dark, Jack got out the lanterns and theyplayed until Nathan yawned and announced that he was going to bed.

"It's early," Jack pointed out and tossed in his cards.

"I'm a tired camper," he said as he headed toward the tent.

"He does this sometimes. A few days ago, he went to bed right after dinner and slept clear through tillbreakfast," Daisy informed Jack as she gathered the cards and stuck them in the box. "I think he's growing sofast, he just gets worn from the inside out."

Jack rose and moved out of the pool of light to his truck. He grabbed his Jean jacket out of the cab, then walkedto the fire pit. Stars crammed the big Texas sky as he stirred the coals. He threw a few logs in the pit and took aseat in one of the folding chairs he'd placed around the pit. He stretched his legs out in front of him and watchedthe wood catch fire. He thought about their sleeping arrangements and wondered if he should have borrowedanother tent from Billy. Sleeping in the same tent wasn't going to be easy. Jack had never slept in such closeproximity to a. woman when they both weren't naked. This would be a first, and thank God Nathan would bebetween him and Daisy. Because lately his thoughts were definitely carnal where she was concerned, and he'dhate to fall asleep and wake up face-first in her cleavage.

"It's been a long time since Nathan and I got to get away and just relax," Daisy said and sat in a chair next tohim. "Thanks, Jack."

"You're welcome." He threaded his fingers together over his stomach, crossed his booted ankles, and pushed allthoughts of Daisy's cleavage from his brain. The fire cracked and popped. In between comfortable silences,Daisy told him more about her plans to sell the house she'd shared with Steven, and more about opening herown photography studio. She was ready to get on with her life and eager to start.

They talked about Billy and his family, and she filled him in on the latest with Lily. Lily's divorce was to befinal in a few days. According to Daisy,Lily was finally getting herself together. Jack had his doubts, but he didn't mention them.

"Being back here in Texas brings back a lot of memories for me," Daisy said. "Most of them good." He couldfeel her gaze on him and he looked across his shoulder at her. Firelight danced in her hair and across her face. Ittouched her mouth and drew his gaze to her lips. "Remember when you and I and Steven made that timecapsule out of a coffee can and buried it in your backyard?" she asked.

Yeah, he remembered that, but he shook his head and glanced up at the sky crammed with stars in the inkyblack night. He hoped she'd let it drop. He should have known better.

"We put our most valuable treasures in a coffee can, and we were supposed to dig it up in fifty years."

She laughed and Jack returned his gaze to her profile.

"I can't remember what I put in there." She thought a moment then snapped her fingers. "Oh, yeah. A fakediamond ring you'd won for me at the fair. A pink fuzzy barrette Steven had found someplace and given me.

You put some Matchbox cars in there, and Steven put some of those green army men." She looked over at himand a frown creased her brow. "There had to be more."

"Your diary," he said.

"That's right." She started to laugh, but it died on her lips. "How did you remember that?"

He just shrugged and rose to stir the logs on the fire. "Good memory, I guess."

"Did you dig it up?" He didn't answer and she moved to stand next to him. "Jack?"

He pushed a log with the toe of his boot. It snapped and shot red embers up into the darkness. "Me and Steve."

"When?" she asked.

"About a week after we buried it. We had to know what was in your diary. It was killing us."

She gasped. "You guys invaded my privacy. Abused my trust. You were horrible!"

"Yep, and as I recall, your diary was boring as hell. Steven and I thought we were going to read all kinds ofjuicy stuff. Like who you had a crush on or if you'd kissed a boy. Or what really goes on at those girly slumberparties you were always going to." He shoved his hands in the front pockets of his Levi's and shifted his weightto one foot. "As I recall, it was mostly filled with stuff about your damn cat."

"Mr. Skittles?" Her mouth fell open and she grasped his arm through his jacket and turned him to face her. "Youread my private thoughts about Mr. Skittles?"

"I hated that cat. Every time I walked into your house, he hissed at me."

"That's because he could tell you were up to no good."

Jack laughed and looked down into her face as the firelight danced across her cheeks and nose. Where DaisyLee was concerned, he'd always been up to no good. He grabbed her hand to remove it from his jacket, but heheld it instead. "You don't even know the half of it."

"Sylvia told me she showed you her bottom in the fifth grade."

He had seen quite a few bottoms by the fifth grade. "It wasn't as good as yours." He brought her hand to hismouth and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. He looked into her eyes. "Your bottom was always the best."

She blinked once and her lids lowered to half-mast. Her lips parted. She wanted him every bit as much as hewanted her. It would have been so easy to slide his other hand behind her head and bring her mouth to his.

Desire twisted in his groin and urged him to grab her up and hold her against him. He dropped her hand.

"I've missed you, Jack," she said. "I didn't even realize how much until I came back." She took a step forwardand raised onto the balls of her feet. She ran her palms up his jacket to the sides of his neck. "Did you ever missme?" She placed her soft lips against his, then asked, "Even a little?"

He stood completely still, staring into her dark eyes. His chest burned as he breathed in her exhaled breath.

"Even when you didn't want to miss me?"

The dull throb of desire settled heavy in his groin, and he grabbed her shoulders and pushed her away. "Don't dothis, Daisy."

She looked up at him. "Matt Flegel asked me out."

Shit. "Bug?"

"He never liked when you called him that."

"Are you going to go out with him?"

"Do you care?"

He looked right into her eyes and answered as if he didn't want to punch Flea in the face. "No. I don't care whatyou do."

"Then I'll probably go out with him." She turned on her heels and bid him goodnight over her shoulder as if shehadn't just tried to kiss him and get something going. He watched her disappear into the tent and he turned backto the fire.

She could do whatever she wanted, he told himself as he took a seat. So could he. He hadn't had sex since he'dhad it with her on the back of the Lancer. Maybe that was his problem. Maybe he needed to get laid to get herout of his head.

He waited until the coals burned to ash before he entered the tent. When his eyes adjusted to the darkness, hediscovered that Nathan had taken the sleeping bag on the far side, which left Daisy asleep in the middle. Whatshe thought of sleeping so close to Jack, he didn't know. She seemed okay with it because she was out.

Jack took off his boots and jacket and crawled into his sleeping bag. He put his hands behind his head andstared up at the ceiling of the tent. He could almost hear her breathing. Almost hear a soft hush of breath passher lips.

He turned his head and looked at her through the darkness. Her back was to him and her blond hair spilledacross her pillow. He'd made love to her. He'd made a child with her, but he'd never spent the night with her.

Never seen her sleep.

His last thoughts as he fell asleep were of her, wondering what she'd do if he hooked his arm around her waistand pulled her into his chest.

When he woke, the ceiling of the tent was awash in predawn light. He figured he'd gotten about five hours as hegrabbed his jean jacket, shoved his feet in his boots, and headed out of the tent. Early morning shadows clung tothe campground and the buttes surrounding the lake. He built a fire and put coffee on to percolate. The sun roseover the water as he poured his first cup. Nathan was the first to join him. His son's hair stuck straight up inback, and he wore a big blue sweat shirt, jeans and his sneakers. Nathan grabbed a bottle of juice and a bag ofChips Ahoy and the two of them walked to the shore.

"Today before we leave," Jack said as he blew into his coffee, "we'll go after some channel cats."

"My dad and I went deep-sea fishing once." Nathan ripped open the bag and held it toward Jack, offering him acookie. "Have you ever done that?"

"Thanks." Jack took one chocolate-chip cookie and bit into it. "I try to fish in the Gulf at least once a year. Nexttime I go, maybe you can come along."

"Tight." Nathan stuck the bag under one arm and polished off two cookies before he spoke again. "My dad and Iused talk about stuff."

Jack took a drink and looked out over the lake, at the morning sun lighting up the surface like glass. Hewondered if Daisy had told him that she had a hot date with flea. It wasn't his place to ask. "What kind ofstuff?"

"Stuff a guy can't talk to his mom about."

"Like?" he asked and ate his cookie.

"Girls."

Ah. "Do you have something on your mind?"

Nathan nodded and took a drink of his juice.

"Maybe I can help you out. I've known a girl or two."

He looked at his toes and his cheeks turned pink. "Girls are complicated. Boys aren't that complicated."

"That's true. Girls are contrary as hell. They tell you one thing and expect you to get the meaning to somethingelse."

He turned and looked up at Jack. "You said you and dad used to look at porn. So, what I want to know is..."

blinked a few times then asked, 'Where do you touch girls? I saw a diagram in health class, but it wasconfusing. Boys aren't confusing. Everything we have is just hanging out there."

Whoa. "We're not talking about a girl's emotions are we?"

He shook his head. "My friend stole his mom's book about sex. It sounds like you have to touch a girleverywhere at once."

Nathan looked so serious. And he'd come to Jack. Not Daisy. "Any girl in particular you're thinking abouttouching?"

"No. I'd just like to have it all figured out before my first time."

"You want to be an expert right out of the chute?" Jack thought Nathan was a little young to be worrying aboutsex. Then he thought back to the NBBC and he realized Nathan wasn't too young at all.

"Well, yeah. It's going to be scary enough the first time without worrying about sucking at it."

Jack rocked back on his heels and weighed his words. He really didn't want to screw this up. Warmth spreadthrough him and tightened his chest like a fist around his heart. Suddenly, for the first time in his life, he feltlike a dad. His son had come to him with questions about sex, just like countless other sons had gone to theirfathers. Just like he had. "The first thing you have to know is that any fool can have sex, but it takes a real manto make love. If you don't feel something for a girl, then you have no business unzipping your pants."

"Yeah."

"You have to wear a condom. Always. If you're not mature enough to protect yourself and the female, thenyou're not mature enough to have sex." As he spoke, he wondered if Nathan got the irony of this conversation.

He waited for him to point out that Jack hadn't always practiced what he was preaching, and he took a drink ofhis coffee as he figured out a good response. He'd obviously have to admit that he hadn't always beenresponsible, but that -"I know about safe sex," Nathan said, interrupting Jack's thoughts.

Jack swallowed. "That's good." He smiled at his son, vastly relieved that there would be no hard questions abouthis own sex life.

"What I want to know is..." stole a look back at the tent. "Where is the clitoris exactly?"

Jack's smile fell and he opened his mouth. No words came out so he closed it.

Nathan had no problem forming his words, though. "And what the heck is a G-spot?"

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