Dark Rider

Thirteen

"Are you awake?" Lani whispered from the doorway.

"Yes." Cassie turned over on her bed to face the door. Lani was still in her ball gown; she must have barely arrived. "I've just gotten to bed. I'll get up."

"No, we'll talk in the morning. I'll stay only a moment." Lani glided forward, set the candlestick down on the bedside table, then sat on the edge of the bed. "I just had to know how you did it."

"I threatened her with the death Kalaniopuu dealt Cook."

Lani threw back her head, and her rich laughter rang out. "And she believed you?"

"Josette said she was a coward. I was angry. You would have believed me, too."

A smile lingered on her lips. "Perhaps." She bent forward and brushed Cassie's forehead with a kiss. "You should not have done it, but it pleases me that you did. It's good to have a loving friend." She picked up the candlestick and moved toward the door. "Good night, Kanoa. Sleep well."

Jared had said Kanoa was on the ascendancy, and now Lani was calling her by her Hawaiian name. Perhaps she had been more fierce than she had thought tonight.

Lani paused at the door and glanced back at her. "Kalaniopuu, truly?"

"It seemed appropriate."

"Oh yes, extremely." Lani's lips were still twitching as she gently shut the door.

Bradford straightened away from the wall. "Did you find out what our tiger did to the bitch?"

"Only a threat." Lani smiled. "But an exceptionally intimidating one." She started down the hallway. "What are you doing here? I thought you were going to your bed."

"Not until I was sure all was well with you. I knew you'd go first to Cassie." He fell into step with her. "I'll escort you to your room."

"That's not necessary. I do know the way."

He said with sudden violence, "For God's sake, let me do something for you."

She looked at him in astonishment. She had never seen urbane, mocking Bradford this upset. His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides as he strode beside her down the hall.

"And don't stare at me as if there were something outrageous about my wanting to protect you. It makes me want to shake you."

"I cannot see how you can want to do both. The two seem to be at odds."

"Not when a man is as frustrated as I am. Do you know how much I envied Cassie tonight? I stood there and watched her defend you, not even knowing from what insult. You didn't let me know. You wouldn't let me help you. You never let me close enough to-"

"I didn't need defending," she interrupted. "It would have been better if Cassie had let it alone. She may have done harm to Josette."

"And the harm to Lani doesn't matter?"

"Those people could not hurt me unless I let them hurt me."

"They hurt you. I saw it in your face."

"Then you were mistaken." They had reached her door and her hand grasped the knob. "You don't know me well enough to read me."

"The hell I don't!" His hands on her shoulders, he jerked her around to face him. His eyes blazed down at her. "I know you better than anyone in this world. I know your pride and your generosity, your intelligence and your stubbornness. I know you'd go through the fires of Hades for anyone you cared about, and I want to be one of those people. I want it so badly it hurts me."

His lips crushed down on her mouth.

Sensuality and passion enveloped her, taking her breath, sending heat spiraling through her. His action was so sudden she had no time to lift barriers against it. Instinctively her mouth opened and his tongue entered her. Her breasts were swelling against the broad wall of his chest, and she felt the familiar hot, tingling yearning between her thighs.

He lifted his head and said hoarsely, "You see, this is what we could have. You need me."

Dazed, she gazed up at him. In this moment he was totally masculine, totally sensual, and she was responding as helplessly as she had when she was a young girl with her first man.

Triumph blazed in his expression.

Her arms slowly slid around his neck and her head tilted back. Yes, come to me. Let my body sing. Let us join in the dance of-

No!

She jerked away from him and stepped back so hurriedly she bumped against the door. She shuddered as she realized how close she had come to yielding.

"Don't do this. You need me."

She drew a shaky breath. "I don't need you." She had to drive a wedge between them. "I just need a man."

Hurt flickered across his rough features, and then he forced a smile. "Then take me. I'm at your disposal."

She shook her head. "Charles would not like it."

"You wouldn't have to tell him." His smile became self-mocking. "You see how low I've fallen. I'm even willing to share you with him. I'll take you any way I can get you. What a pitiful specimen I'm turning out to be."

His bitterness hurt her. "You're not pitiful. You're a fine man." She paused and then said in a rush, "Even if there were no Charles, can't you see it would not be good between us? You were there tonight. Your friends think me a savage. They would never accept me."

"Then they will no longer be my friends."

"I do not like your England."

"Then we'll go wherever you like."

She shook her head in despair. "You would be sorry you married me."

"Shall we see? Go get your cloak and we'll be off to Gretna Green. By morning we'll be wed." His boyish smile was eager. "Let me show you how I can love you, Lani. I'll care for your needs, I'll satisfy your body. I'll never ask you to say you love me. I won't ask anything but that you let me love."

She closed her eyes. She could imagine what it would be like to let herself be loved by Bradford. Passionate, warm, and yet with a multitude of sweet challenges. He would keep her safe and value her. She had never known a love like that. All her life she had been the one to give. What a lovely life it-

Her lids flicked open as she realized where that path was leading her. She could not believe how tempted she had been. Honor and loyalty forbade her even considering Bradford's plea. "Impossible." She suddenly found her eyes stinging with tears, and she turned her back and fumbled for the knob. "I've told you before I cannot listen to this. I love only Charles."

"No, you don't," he said fiercely. "You may care about Deville, but, by God, you care about me, too. Every day it's growing. In another month you won't even remember what it was like to do without me."

She fled inside her room and slammed the door behind her.

Her chest was constricted, and she couldn't breathe without wanting to weep. The last few minutes had been more agonizing than those hideous hours at Carradine House. Dear God, she did not want to hurt Bradford. The last thing in the world she wanted was to cause him sadness or distress.

The last thing in the world.

Dangerous thought. Threatening truth.

She staggered over to the bed and sat down. She felt battered and bruised and a hundred years old.

Every day it's growing.

If that was true, then it must stop.

And she had a dreadful feeling it was true.

Josette was standing at Kapu's stall stroking him when Cassie came to the stable the next day.

Josette turned to Cassie with a triumphant smile. "I've saddled him for you. He's beginning to like me. It's just going to take a little more time, and I'll be able to ride him." She added quickly, "If you'll let me."

She might not have even that long, Cassie thought with a pang. Soon events would be put in motion that would take her away forever. An intense wave of sadness washed over her. Of course she was sad, she thought hastily. Josette had become her friend and it was always sad to leave friends. She said impulsively, "Would you like to ride him today?"

Josette's face became luminous. "Could I? Do you think he's ready for me?"

"We could try. I'll stand at his head while you mount, in case he bolts."

"You know I'd love it. I've wanted to ride him since that first night." Some of the joy in her expression lessened. "Are you sure? You don't let anyone ride him. Not even Jared."

"Then it's time I was less selfish." She opened the door of the stall. "Lani says that to give a gift is always to receive a greater one in return." She grimaced. "It's the one island belief I find difficult to embrace when it comes to Kapu. But I'm not completely ungenerous-I do have reason to be careful. Kapu is dangerous. Lead him outside."

Josette grabbed the reins. "Come, boy," she crooned. "I'll be so good to you." She led him toward the door that opened to the pasture. "I thought I was going to have to settle for that gelding today."

Cassie suddenly realized Morgana's stall was empty. "Where's Morgana?"

"Jared must have taken her out. She was gone when I got here."

"We'll take the path through the forest." Jared always took the cliff road; if they went toward the forest, she wouldn't have to see him. "I'll saddle the gelding myself. Don't try to mount Kapu until I get back."

"You don't want to see Jared." Cassie nodded understandingly. "Was he very angry last night?"

"He wasn't pleased, but he was surprisingly fair."

"Jared's always fair."

"He blamed himself for misjudging Lady Carradine."

"What a stroke of luck. I was afraid he'd make us all apologize to the gargoyle."

"And he's not going to make you go back to her school."

"Really?" Her eyes lit with excitement. "I can stay here?"

"Presumably."

She dropped Kapu's reins, launched herself at Cassie, and whirled her in a giddy circle. "I knew when I saw you that good things were going to happen."

"Is that why you knocked me down?" Cassie asked dryly.

Josette waved an airy hand. "Only a minor error."

"It felt major." She paused. "Jared says he won't let you be hurt by what I did last night. I hope that's true. I couldn't let Lani-"

"Shh, I know. You warned me it might happen. I'd have done the same thing." Her expression was suddenly grave. "I can't convince Jared that none of those people are important to me. I'd die if I had to be penned up painting teacups, waiting for some gentleman to offer for me. I want more. "

"And what do you want?" Cassie asked indulgently.

"I want hundreds of horses. I want to go on great adventures. I want to see your island. I want to go to Sedikhan and find a Kapu or Morgana of my own. I want to do everything, taste everything, smell everything. I want to-"

"Wait." Laughing, Cassie held up her hand. "I think you'd better set limits. You're not going to have time in one lifetime to do all that."

"I'll squeeze it all in." She grinned. "Look at me today. I'm going to ride Kapu!"

So young and full of life and dreams. Cassie herself had only one dream, which made life much simpler. She would miss Josette. "Yes, you are," she said gently. "Now, grab his reins again before he decides to wander off, while I get that gelding."

"Cassie!" Jared banged forcefully on her door. "Let me in!"

Cassie had been removing her gown and tensed in midmotion. She had no intention of letting him into her bedchamber. She had been scrupulously avoiding him since last night and had even gone to the lengths of missing supper. "I don't want to see you. Go to bed."

"Open the door."

"I'm not dressed."

"Then get dressed." He threw open the door.

He was without a coat, and his shirt was unbuttoned at the throat. His hair was tousled and he was smiling recklessly, his appearance vaguely reminding her of that night of the storm on board the Josephine when he had come to help her with Kapu. She had been relieved to see him then, but not tonight. "I didn't invite you to come into my room."

"And you're not undressed. What a disappointment."

"I told the truth. I was getting undressed. I'd just started to undo my gown."

"Then I'll have to help fasten it again." He turned her around, his fingers deft and swift on the buttons.

She stood there, bewildered. She had not expected aid in putting on her clothes.

"There." He gave her a pat on her bottom, snatched her cloak from the chair beside the bed, and grabbed her hand. "Now, come on."

"I don't want to-" But he was already pulling her from her room and down the corridor toward the staircase. "Where are we going?"

"To expiate a wrong." He gave her a reckless smile over his shoulder. "And clear the way."

"You're talking nonsense. I want to go back to my room."

He didn't answer.

"Tell me what's happening!"

He had thrown open the front door and was pulling her down the steps toward the courtyard. "Where are we going?"

"The stable."

She immediately panicked. "Is something wrong with Kapu?"

"No. In fact, something is going to be extremely right with Kapu and with you." He dropped her hand and threw her cloak around her. "Now, will you stop arguing and come with me?"

She hesitated, but then started across the courtyard. "I don't see why you'd have any reason to go to the stable in the middle of the night."

"It seems more fitting. There are too many people around during the day."

She was growing more and more bewildered. "Fitting?"

"Well, I thought you'd think so. Personally, I've no objection to spectators." He opened the stable doors. "But you think that horse is human."

"Not human, but he has a great soul." She walked down the corridor toward Kapu's stall. "And if we're going riding, you should have let me change."

"We're not going riding." He stopped beside Kapu's stall and patted the stallion's muzzle. "But he is. Take him out of the stall and lead him to the south meadow."

She frowned. "Why?"

He met her gaze. "Because Morgana is waiting for him there."

She went still. "What are you saying?"

"Morgana is in season."

"You want a foal by Kapu?"

He grimaced. "I want something out of this for my own."

"You'll have a great deal-Morgana, and Kapu's foal."

He shook his head. "I'll have the foal. Morgana will be yours as soon as the foal is born."

She stared at him in shock. "What!"

"Reparation," he said simply. "Isn't that what you want most in the world? The fulfillment of your dream, a mare to match Kapu?"

"Yes," she whispered. "Oh, yes."

"Then Morgana is yours."

She couldn't believe it. "You mean it?"

"I don't lie, Cassie." His lips tightened. "And I'm not trying to trick you into getting a foal by Kapu."

She had not even considered that possibility. "I know you wouldn't do that. It's just… I never dreamed…" Morgana was his prize possession, and this gift was generous beyond belief. "Are you sure?"

"Reparation," he said again. "You're not the only one who believes that sins must be atoned. I'll have to find another way to make things right with Lani, but I knew this would probably satisfy you." He stepped back and opened the stable door for her. "Take him to her."

She just stood there staring at him. Josette's words came back to her.

Sometimes he does something splendid, and you forget everything else.

He suddenly smiled at her. "I never thought I'd catch you speechless."

"I don't know- It's too-" She swallowed to ease the aching tightness of her throat and grabbed Kapu's reins. She asked gruffly, "Are you coming?"

"I wouldn't miss it." He followed her, past Morgana's empty stall. "You'll remember I do have a considerable interest in the outcome."

Morgana was at the far end of the pasture, and the bright moonlight revealed every shimmering, beautiful line of the mare. Cassie felt a surge of pure joy. Her dream, her horse. Morgana was going to be hers.

Kapu nudged her forcefully from behind, his ears pricking forward.

She chuckled as she realized the stallion was scenting Morgana. It seemed Kapu did not agree with her; Morgana was not Cassie's, but his mare. She took off Kapu's halter. "Open the gate."

Jared opened the gate and stepped aside.

Kapu bolted into the pasture.

Morgana froze and then bolted in the opposite direction.

"You didn't hobble her," Cassie said. It was customary to hobble the mare to make it easier for the stallion to mount her.

"I don't like ropes," Jared said. "As you may remember. Kapu will have to work for his pleasure."

It appeared Morgana was in full agreement. She raced around the pasture with Kapu at her heels for a full ten minutes, never letting him get too close. When she tired of that game, she came to a halt and started a new gamut of playful teasing, backing toward him and then, when he came near, swishing her tail disdainfully and dashing off again.

Jared chuckled and shook his head. "Poor Kapu."

It was comical. Kapu was totally bewildered, his dignity crushed as he helplessly chased after the mare.

Then, suddenly, everything changed.

Morgana stopped and turned to face Kapu.

"Ah, she's ready," Jared murmured.

Cassie tensed, watching as the two horses stood confronting each other. Something was passing between them, a message both mystical and primitive. A communication as old as the ages, beautiful and secret and mysterious.

All mysticism vanished with the next breath.

Kapu half reared and neighed in triumph.

Morgana turned and backed toward him.

Cassie heard Jared's muttered exclamation. Her own throat was too dry to speak. The entire night seemed compressed to contain only the two horses in the meadow.

No, Jared was here, but somehow he was part of it.

Kapu mounted Morgana. Dear heaven, how would those delicate legs support his weight?

She stood firm as he entered her.

Raw, driving power. Stallion and mare both lost in the sexual dance of life.

Heat tingled through Cassie and then became molten. She knew that primitive dance. She wanted it.

Jared's hand covered hers on the fence.

She shuddered but didn't look away from the two mating horses.

Kapu's teeth were sinking into Morgana's neck. She did not feel the pain, Cassie knew. At this moment you felt nothing but the drive, the emptiness being filled, the hot intruder that you had invited within your body.

Her hands were clenched so tightly on the railing that her palms felt bruised.

"Cassie?" Jared asked hoarsely.

She turned to look at him. Kahuna, Lust. Stallion.

She closed her eyes, but the scent of him still assaulted her.

She cried out as his hands cupped her breasts; they swelled instantly in response. Her lids flew open.

His nostrils were flaring with the harshness of his breathing. "God, don't say no."

No? She could no more refuse him than Morgana could refuse in that final moment. She shook her head.

"Thank God." He picked her up and was carrying her.

"Where are you going?" she whispered.

"Not here," he muttered. "I don't think either of us would notice, but I don't want you chilled." They were in the stable. "Morgana's stall is the closest…"

Soft hay beneath her, Jared above her, his hands tearing frantically at her gown. She helped him, her fingers trembling, her entire body shaking with need.

She was naked on the bed of straw. Jared parted her legs, his fingers searching.

No, this wasn't right…

She pushed him away and rose to her hands and knees.

He understood at once. "Like Morgana?" He muttered. "Whatever you want…"

He entered her, covered her. She expected it to be like that night in the cabin, but it wasn't. It was like nothing ever before. She was whimpering, moving backward, taking him. His hands cupped her breasts as he drove hard, harder…

He was muttering wildly, his breath coming in great labored gasps. Then, suddenly, he was withdrawing, turning her onto her back.

She looked up at him dazedly. "Why…"

"Because you're not a mare, goddammit." He gasped as he entered her again. "You're a woman. Mine…" He plunged deep, again, again, again. "Mine."

Her teeth sank into her lower lip but she felt no pain. She felt nothing but him. She wanted nothing but him. Forever…

Climax. Different this time. Release that has no end…

He cried out and his back arched as he gained his own release. She saw the painful contortion slowly vanish from his face. He looked down at her and she met his gaze.

Mystery. Life. Destiny. How strange that this moment of realization had come after the act, not before as it had been with Morgana and Kapu…

"Cassie…" A note of wonder, of bewilderment.

"No." She didn't want him to speak. She pulled him down and held him close as the last ripples of passion shuddered through him. She had given him this pleasure. A surge of joy tore through her, so intense it made the physical release pale in comparison. He was hers, as Kapu was hers, as Lani was hers.

No, more. So much more. The truth crashed down upon her, jarring her back to reality.

Dear God, how had it come to this?

She lay stunned, unable to believe she had not known before. She had not been careful enough. The Jared of daylight and darkness had merged, and she would never be able to separate them again.

"I didn't plan this." His words were muffled in her hair. "I didn't want it to happen this way. I wanted Morgana to be a gift."

"I'm certain you didn't," she said dully. She knew him so well now. She knew his humor and his impatience, his passion and sensuality, his gentleness with Josette and Bradford. She knew his strict sense of justice and his total determination. She wished with all her heart she knew less about him. "It wasn't your fault."

It was her own fault. She had done the unforgivable.

He raised his head to look down at her. "What's wrong with you?"

She shook her head without answering.

He muttered a curse, moved off her, and adjusted his clothes. "You wanted it, dammit! I did not rape you."

"No." She sat up and brushed the hair from her eyes.

"Then why are you acting as if I did?"

"I want to go to my room." She didn't look at him as she straightened her clothes. "Will Kapu and Morgana be all right in the pasture?"

"Yes. We'll leave them together for the night. They'll couple several times before morning."

"And you'll have your foal." She stood up and brushed bits of hay from the skirt of her gown. "Everything is working out just as you thought."

"The hell it is." He rose to his feet. "Tell me what's wrong!"

"Nothing." Her voice was halting. "I'm very grateful for your generosity in giving me Morgana. It's very kind."

"Kind? You must be ill. I've never known you to think me kind."

"You can be kind." Kind and ruthless. Gentle and erotic. Darkness and light. The tears were brimming, and she had to get away from him. "Good night…" She turned and fled down the corridor toward the door.

He caught her as she reached the courtyard and whirled her to face him. "Talk to me," he said through his teeth. "For God's sake, tell me what-" He broke off as he saw the tears streaming down her cheeks. "My God."

"I have to go." She started to struggle. "I have to-"

"Not until- All right, anything, just, for God's sake, stop crying." He let her go and stepped back. "But it's not the end of it. Tomorrow you're going to tell me what you're upset about."

She would never tell him.

She turned and ran across the courtyard. She could feel his baffled, frustrated gaze on her back as she tore up the stairs and into the hall. She would never commit that final betrayal.

She would never, never tell Jared she loved him.

"Cassie?" Josette was sitting on the bottom step of the staircase, dressed in night shift and robe, bare feet curled beneath her. Her eyes were wide with alarm. "You're weeping. What did he do to you?"

She wiped her wet cheeks with the back of her hands. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard you and Jared arguing in the hall. I was worried… I couldn't sleep." She shook her head. "You said he wasn't angry."

"He wasn't." She started up the stairs. "Go to bed."

Josette scrambled to her feet and followed her. "Then why are you crying? You never cry."

"I just am."

"Why?"

The tears wouldn't stop flowing and neither would Josette's questions. Cassie suddenly flared. "It's my concern. Leave me alone!" Then, when she saw Josette's stricken expression, she was instantly remorseful. "It's not… Everything is… it's too much."

"Is it Jared? Do you want me to talk to him?"

"No!" She tried to temper the sharpness. "Nothing is wrong. Jared didn't hurt me. He's actually been very kind. He gave me Morgana."

"You have to be jesting," Josette whispered.

She shook her head. "He's taking Kapu and Morgana's foal. So, you see, everything is fine."

"Then why are you crying?"

"Because I can't-" She stopped and then said, "Because it's time I left Morland. I can't stay here any longer."

The words startled her as much as they did Josette, but once they were uttered, she knew no other action could result from the realization that she loved Jared. If she didn't leave him now, she wasn't sure she would ever leave him.

"No!" Josette cried, dismayed. "Why should you go? Everything is fine now. I don't have to go back to school, and Jared gave you Morgana. We could have a lovely time."

"Josette, I don't belong here. Have you forgotten my father?"

Josette was silent a moment. "I wish you could." She held up her hand as Cassie opened her lips to speak. "But I know you can't." She shook her head. "Jared won't let you go."

Cassie forced a smile. "Then I'll have to go without his knowledge, won't I?"

"Do you have any money?"

"About a hundred pounds my father left with Lani."

"Lani will go with you?" Josette answered her own question. "Of course she will." Her tone became wistful. "It's just that I've gotten so used to both of you. I'll miss you…"

"We'll miss you, too."

"Truly?"

Cassie nodded her head. "Truly. But I have to go."

"It's difficult getting into French ports these days. Few ships will accept the risk." Josette frowned. "And how will you manage to arrange passage? I doubt if you could leave Morland without Jared's sanction."

"I don't know." She shook her head wearily. It was trying enough to come to terms with the knowledge that she loved Jared. She couldn't deal with anything else. "I'll think about it later. Right now I'm going to bed." She started up the stairs again. "And so should you."

"And what about papers?" Josette followed her. "I think you should stay here."

Cassie shook her head.

"Then I think I should go with you."

"What!" Cassie turned to look at her in surprise.

"Well, I could sail you across the channel in my boat. If we didn't land at a major port, you wouldn't be faced with the problem of papers immediately."

"You would do that for us?"

Josette grinned. "You need me. I've had all kinds of experience in escapes. At least twice a year since Jared sent me to Carradine Hall. Do you think it was easy getting away from the gargoyle all those times? I'm more prepared now than you'd be in a year."

"Carradine Hall isn't Morland." Cassie's first leap of hope vanished. "I couldn't let you do that for us."

She coaxed. "I'm a very good sailor. It wouldn't be that dangerous just to land you and Lani on a beach near a village and come back."

"Jared would be angry with you."

"Not for long. Besides, I'd rather face Jared's anger than worry about your safety."

It was very tempting, the answer to most of the obstacles that stood in their way. "I'll consider it."

Josette nodded briskly. "You'll see that my way is best." She turned down the wing where her chamber was located. She cast Cassie a mischievous glance over her shoulder. "And in the meantime I'll start making plans. It takes a great deal of forethought to make good an escape."

Josette's sorrow and disappointment had been submerged in anticipation and purpose. Cassie wished she could shift emotions so easily. She felt raw and desolate, and the entire world seemed dark. She wanted to run to Lani and hear her say that everything would be all right.

But she couldn't do that this time. She had crossed into territory that was forbidden to her. How could Lani understand that she loved the man who was her father's deadly enemy? How could she understand it herself? She didn't even have the comfort of knowing that Jared loved her in return. He desired her, but passion was not love. He had been consumed by hatred of her father for too many years, and it was madness to think he would ever allow himself to love her. No, his bitterness was too strong, the gulf too deep.

Dear God, the tears were falling again. She must stop this stupid weeping. There was nothing to be done but what they had set out to do. She must save Papa and then return home.

She must make a life for herself far away from Jared, a world away…