Do or Die

Chapter Fifteen

Northeast Colorado Territory

Charley Pickett was so happy to be spending so much time with Melissa Patterson that weeks went by before he realized they were wandering back and forth across the prairie without accomplishing anything. That evening around the campfire, he brought it up.

“Why are you lookin’ at me, pup?” Enos Howard demanded and upended a bottle. After a few swallows, he said, “I can’t pull sign out of thin air. Until we strike their trail, all we can do is twiddle our thumbs.”

“But that’s like looking for a sewing needle in a haystack,” Melissa mentioned. “It could take forever. At this rate, our supplies will run out long before we find it.”

Tony was roasting the rabbit they were having for supper. Melissa had shot it with her rifle from fifty yards off when Enos couldn’t be bothered to try. “How will we know it even is their trail? It could be anyone’s.”

“There are five of them,” Enos said. “Any more, any less, it’s not the Hoodoos.”

“It could be five cowboys for all we know,” Tony said.

“Maybe we should pay Fort Sedgewick a visit,” Charley suggested before they could argue. “The army might have a clue to their whereabouts.”

“I’ll take you there, but I won’t go into the fort,” Enos said. “I know a couple of the scouts assigned there. They’ll laugh me to scorn if they see me with greeners like you.”

“Or is it you don’t want them to see you drunk?” Tony rotated the trimmed branch they were using for a spit.

Enos lowered the bottle in midswallow. “Watch that mouth of yours, kid. You’re startin’ to get me riled.”

“I am not a ‘kid,’ signor. I am a grown man, and you will treat me with the respect a grown man deserves.”

“You’re a peckerwood, is what you are,” Enos retorted. “All you’ve done this whole hunt is grouse about how we’re in over our heads.”

“We are,” Tony said. “And if your brain was not soaked in whiskey, you would realize it.”

Enos started to rise, but Charley sprang between them. “Enough! Enos, you don’t have to go into the fort with us if you don’t want to. Tony, quit insultin’ him all the time. I thought by now the two of you would get along better.”

“He brings it on himself.” Tony straightened. “I have never met a man more arrogante. It is a wonder no one has buried him long before now.”

Charley felt sure Howard would take offense, but the buffalo hunter was gazing to the northeast. “Did you hear somethin’?”

“I had an inspiration.” Enos chuckled. “Why in blue blazes didn’t I think of this sooner? If anyone can help us, he’d be the coon.”

Melissa asked, “Who are you talking about?”

“Eli Brandenberg. He has a soddy a couple of days’ ride from here. Sells drinks and dry goods and ammunition. Buffalo runners stop there all the time. So do a lot of folks usin’ the main trail. They gab up a storm. If anyone has heard what part of the country the Hoodoos are in, it would be Eli.”

“Rumors are not very dependable,” Tony remarked.

“It’s better than having nothin’ to go on at all,” Charley said. “We’ll head for Brandenberg’s at first light.” Although he would just as soon spend the rest of his life wandering the prairie with Melissa.

“I’ll drink to that.” Enos resumed guzzling. He was a lot more subdued than he used to be and was still conspicuous by his absence at their daily target shoots.

Soon the rabbit was roasted. Charley tore off a leg and ate ravenously. He glanced at Melissa every now and then, admiring the dainty way she held a piece of meat and how she took tiny bites instead of wolfing the food like he did. She was as delicate as fine china and twice as pretty.

Tony didn’t have much of an appetite. He nibbled at a piece, then rose and walked off into the darkness.

Excusing himself, Charley followed. In his estimation it was high time he got to the bottom of whatever was bothering his friend.

There was no moon. Charley barely made Tony out, standing in the middle of some mesquite, his hands shoved in his pockets. “Are you as tired of rabbit as I am?” he joked.

“I want to be alone.”

“Nothin’ doin’. You’ve been keepin’ to yourself ever since we left Denver, and I’d like to know why. Is it something I’ve done? Is it Melissa?”

“It is both,” Tony said.

The blunt answer threw Charley off his mental stride. He groped for the right thing to say. “I’m sorry if I’ve upset you. You’re about the best friend I’ve ever had, and I’d rather eat dirt than have you down at the shanks on my account.”

“It is not you. It is your love for the girl.”

Now Charley was doubly confused and more than a little put out. “I never said I was in love with her.”

“Oh, please. Anyone with eyes can see the longing in yours when you look at her. Like Enos with Clarabelle, you have been struck by the thunderbolt.” Tony paused. “I should know. I have been struck too.”

“You’ve got a gal stashed away somewhere?” Charley grinned and clapped him on the back. “Why didn’t you say so?”

Tony sighed. “Why talk about that which can never be mine? Her name is Maria, and she lives in Naples. We have been in love since we were twelve.” Tony brightened and took his hands from his pockets. “Oh, if only you could meet her, mio amico! Her beauty is like a rose you are afraid to touch for fear you will crush it. When she moves, her body flows like water. Her hair always has the scent of strawberries, and her skin is as creamy as milk.”

Charley had never heard Tony talk like this. “Sounds to me like that thunderbolt seared you clear down to your toes. If you feel that way, why didn’t you bring her to America with you?”

Tony’s joyful mood disappeared. “Because the Camorra would kill her as well as me, and that I could not bear.”

“The Camorra? That outfit in Italy you told us about?” Charley was slow, but eventually he caught on. “You’re the one who tried to quit them! And you had to leave Italy or they would have killed you!”

“Si. I never lived in New York, I never stabbed anyone there. I am sorry I lied. I thought it best to keep my past secret.” Tony placed a hand on Charley’s shoulder. “Can you forgive me?”

“There’s nothin’ to forgive.”

“My madre and padre are in Naples. My padre wants nothing to do with me because I disgraced our family. It would make him greatly happy if I were to put a pistola to my head and pull the trigger.”

“But you did right quittin’ a bunch of killers.”

“Mio padre would not agree. He has belonged to the Camorra all his life. As did his father and his father before him. I broke the chain and brought down everlasting shame on the Fabrizios.”

Charley couldn’t understand a father turning against his own son. “How did Maria feel?”

“It was for her I did it. She wanted no part of the Camorra way of life, no part of the violence. So we went to my father. I thought he would sympathize. I thought he would help us. Instead, he informed the Camorra, and men were sent to murder me. Had it not been for my mother, who warned me and slipped me enough money for passage to America, I would not be here right now.”

“Why didn’t Maria come with you?”

“My mother did not have enough for the both of us. I promised to send for Maria as soon as I can. It has been over a year and I have yet to raise the money.” Tony sighed. “Now you know the real reason I joined this insane hunt of yours. It is not for money for San Francisco. It is for money to bring the woman who has claimed my heart to me.”

Charley wasn’t angry that Tony had lied to him. He couldn’t begin to imagine the torment his friend must be suffering.

“Whenever I see you with Melissa, it reminds me of the happiness I shared with Maria and how much I want to hold her in my arms again. The sadness is almost more than I can bear. That is why I have been so quiet.” Tony paused. “You should tell her, you know.”

“Tell who what?”

“Melissa. How much you care for her. You do neither of you any favors by keeping it inside. Women like to hear those things, Charley. They need to be sure of your devotion. Then they will freely and gladly give theirs.”

Charley would have explained it wasn’t that simple, but a slender figure came walking toward them.

“Here you two are. I was getting worried.” Melissa smiled. “What’s the big attraction out here?”

“Men talk,” Tony said and smiled at Charley. “I was just leaving. My appetite has returned. I better grab some rabbit before Howard eats it all.”

Suddenly Charley was alone with the woman he adored. She was so close, their shoulders touched. His body prickled as with a heat rash, and his mouth went dry. “Nice night,” he said.

“Did you ever see so many stars?” Melissa was gazing upward, her throat pale and smooth in the starlight. “There’s something about the air out here. You can see a lot more than back East.”

“I always liked lookin’ at the night sky when I was little,” Charley confided. “I’d try to find the constellations.” He pointed. “There’s the Big Dipper.” His finger moved. “And that one there is the Little Dipper.”

“We should try and count them all sometime,” Melissa said. “I bet there are thousands.”

A lump formed in Charley’s throat when her hand found his and gently squeezed. He repaid the courtesy, his mind racing like a thoroughbred. She had never done that before; what did it mean? Was she expecting him to kiss her? Or would she slap his face and stomp off in a huff? Better to play it safe, he decided, and replied, “It would take an entire night. I don’t count fast.”

“You’re too hard on yourself, Charley. You have more worthy qualities than you think.”

The compliment made his ears burn. “If I do, they’re pretty well hidden.” Charley grinned, trying to be poised and calm, but his insides were swirling like butter in a butter churn. “A man has to know his limits.”

“But not carp on them. And it’s a man’s strengths that count most.” Melissa turned and looked at him as she had never looked at him before.

Charley sensed an important moment had arrived. He yearned to kiss her, but he was afraid to. Yet he was also positive that if he stood there like a tree stump, it would upset her. So he compromised. He tried flattery. And since he wasn’t all that good with words, he borrowed some. “Have I ever told you your beauty is like a rose?”

Melissa gave a tiny gasp. “No, you haven’t. I would remember a thing like that.” She leaned closer. “You really think so?”

Charley nodded. Emboldened, he went on. “When you move, your body is all pretty and sparkly like water in a mountain stream.”

“No one has ever said anything like that to me before.”

Charley’s face was an inch from hers. He breathed deep and said, “You always smell like fresh straw.”

Melissa leaned against him. Her warm breath fanned his cheek.

“Your skin is like a bowl of milk. I sometimes wish I were a cat so I could lap it up.”

“Lap all you want,” Melissa said softly, her arms rising around his neck.

The next fifteen minutes were paradise. Her kisses were molten honey, and the sensations she sparked in him were as delicious as hot apple pie. He never wanted to stop, but at length she eased back a trifle and rested her head on his shoulder.

“This is the happiest day of my life.”

The next words came out of Charley’s mouth in a rush. He had no conscious awareness of wanting to say them at that exact moment, although he had been thinking about saying them ever since he met her. “Will you marry me?”

Her gasp this time was a lot louder.

Charley waited. And waited some more. And when he couldn’t take the suspense any longer, he said, “Well?”

“A man should never ask a question like that lightly.”

Of all the things she could say, that was one Charley hadn’t foreseen. He pondered it, trying to unravel its true meaning. Women were unusual that way. They said one thing but meant something else. In this instance, the best he could reply was, “I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life. You’re all I think about. But I would understand if you don’t feel the same. I’m not the best catch in the pond.”

“Oh, Charley.”

“If I’ve stepped too far past the rail, just say so, and I’ll never bring it up again.”

“Men are so silly.”

Charley took that as confirmation she wasn’t interested in tying the knot. The celestial spectacle above them seemed to break apart and come crashing down to earth.

“I don’t mean to be. It’s just how I am.”

“Yes, Charley,” Melissa said and kissed his neck. Something damp trickled down it.

Was that a tear? Charley wondered. She had him so confused, it was pitiful. “Yes, what? Yes, I’m silly? Yes, I went too far and should never bring the subject up again?”

“Yes, I will marry you.”

Charley never had every part of his body freeze up on him before. His tongue, his mouth, his heart, everything stopped, and soon his chest started to hurt because he wasn’t breathing. He sucked in a long breath and let it out again to get his lungs to work. “You mean that? Cross your heart?”

“Kiss me, Charley.”

He did. Again and again and again. Joy filled him until he was fit to explode, and when she leaned her cheek on his shoulder again, he was panting and tingling clear down to his toes. “I’ll be a suck-egg mule.”

“You’ll be my husband, Charley Pickett. We might never be rich, but we’ll have each other. We’ll live on a small farm and raise as many children as you want, and when we’re old and grey, we’ll sit on rocking chairs on our porch and look back at all the happy times, and we’ll be content. When we go to our graves, we’ll go knowing we did the best we could with what we had, and no one can ask more.”

“Yes!” Charley said, seeing it all so plain, as if they had already lived it. “That’s exactly how it will be.” He hugged her, and tears filled his eyes. It didn’t make sense to be crying at the most joyous moment of his life, and he tried to blink them away.

“When did you have in mind, Charley? I’m not fussy. If you want a justice of the peace instead of a minister, that’s fine by me. All I ask is that I get to wear a new dress, and I want some flowers I can press in a book and save to always remind me of the occasion.”

Charley hadn’t thought that far ahead and admitted it.

“That’s all right. First we’ll settle this Hoodoo business. Then you can take me anywhere in the world you want us to go. Anywhere at all. I’m not one of those women who will always be making demands, Charley. A house, a farm, children: that’s all I want.”

To Charley that seemed an awful lot, but all that was down the road. Right now the important thing was that she had said yes. He felt her hand caress the back of his neck, and he had a terrible thought. “Oh Lordy! What have I done?”

Melissa pulled back. “Having second thoughts?”

“Never in a million years.” Charley grasped her small hands in his big ones. “I just realized. When a man proposes, he’s supposed to give his girl a ring.” His voice broke, and his eyes misted over worse than ever. “I don’t have one.”

“Is that all?” Melissa touched his damp cheek. “You sweet, adorable infant, you. The ring isn’t important right now. It’s the love that counts.” She paused. “You do love me, don’t you?”

Charley was shocked on two accounts. First, he didn’t much like being called an “infant.” It implied he wasn’t mature enough to know what he was doing. Second, he wouldn’t have asked her to marry him if he didn’t love her. “I love you more than any man has ever loved any woman ever.”

“Then why don’t you say it.”

Charley thought he just had, but he humored her. “I love you.” He was rewarded with another fifteen minutes of passion the likes of which about scorched him alive. His wedding night promised to be a night most men would die for.

Melissa put her forehead on his chest and gripped his arms tight. “You do things to me.” She trembled, then looked up, as radiant as the sun. “We should get back. Do we tell the others or keep it our little secret?”

“Whichever you want.” Were it up to Charley, he would shout it to the world at the top of his lungs.

“I’d rather keep it to ourselves. It’s more special that way.”

Arm in arm, they headed toward the fire. Charley’s feet weren’t touching the ground. He was floating along like a leaf blown on the wind.

Enos was flat on his back, his arms wrapped around an empty bottle. His snores were loud enough to be heard in Arkansas.

“Back so soon?” Tony was eating some rabbit. He grinned at Charley, who was sure his face must be beet red.

Melissa detached herself, walked over to Tony, and thrust out her hand. “I’m declaring a truce between us. From this moment on, what you did in Denver is forgotten.”

“I had already forgotten it. You are the one who will not.”

Charley had to find out. “I don’t suppose either of you would see fit to finally tell me what has been going on?”

“He touched me,” Melissa said.

“Touched you how?” Charley asked, and even as he said it, he knew, or thought he did, and blazing fury coursed through his veins, fury as surprising as it was intense, because this was Tony they were talking about, and Tony was his best friend.

Tony muttered something in Italian. “How many times must I say I am sorry for the same offense? Accidents happen. Believe it or not, not everyone is as anxious to put their hands on you as Charley is.”

“You shouldn’t say things like that,” Charley said, barely able to keep himself under control. He glanced at Melissa. “Tell me,” he commanded and received another surprise when, without any hesitation, she did.

“Tony used to stop by every day and buy a potato, just like you. He would always say how much I reminded him of a girl he knew in the Old Country. The kind of things men always say when they want a woman to be interested in them.”

Charley thought of Maria, and his fury melted like mountain snow under a midday sun. Melissa had jumped to the wrong conclusion.

“Anyway, one day I turned to get some potatoes out of my sack, and it was closer than I thought, and I tripped over it. Next thing I knew, Tony had his hands around me, and was touching my—” Melissa looked down at her chest. “He says he caught me so I wouldn’t hurt myself, but I know how men are.”

To Charley’s horror, a snort burst from his lips, followed by a loud cackle. Right away he clamped a hand over his mouth, but the harm had been done. The gleam in his fiancée’s eyes had nothing to do with love.

“Find that funny, do you?” Melissa’s tone was as brittle as eggshells. “The woman you’re going to marry groped by another man?”

Tony rose. “Did I hear right?” He beamed at Charley. “You have proposed, and she accepted?” Laughing heartily, Tony embraced him. “I congratulate you, my friend! I wish the two of you all the happiness in the world.”

“I’d like you to be there as my best man.”

“I would be honored.” Tony spread his arms wide to hug Melissa, but she held out a palm, stopping him.

“Explain yourself, Charley Pickett.”

Charley took her hand and sat her down and told her about Maria, Tony’s true love, and all Tony had been through. He concluded with, “If you love me, you have to trust me. And if you trust me, you have to trust my choice in friends.”

“I trust you with all my heart,” Melissa said, and rising, she gave Tony a hug.

After that they sat around the fire talking until the wee hours of the morning. Charley couldn’t stop glancing at her and touching her arm to prove it was real and not a dream.

Melissa was curious about Maria. Tony answered her many questions openly and honestly, and presently she said, “We’ll help you do whatever needs to be done to bring her over. Maybe we could make it a double wedding.”

“I would like nothing better. But there are complications. Her father does not want her to have anything to do with me. He fears the Camorra, and rightly so. He might keep her in Naples against her will.”

They were quiet awhile after that, until Melissa said, “I’m curious. Where did you learn English so well?”

“It is taught in the schools. Many of my country-men practice it as a second language.”

Enos Howard chose that moment to smack his lips and roll onto his side.

“I guess we should turn in,” Melissa said. “Our curmudgeon of a buffalo hunter wants to ride out at dawn. Says it will take us about two days to reach Eli’s. Then, if we’re lucky, it’s on to the Hoodoos.”

The rosy inner glow that had sheathed Charley like a bubble burst. He crawled under his blankets, but he couldn’t sleep. His emotions were in turmoil. Now that Melissa had declared her love, it changed everything.

Charley realized Mr. Leeds had been right. He had no business bringing Melissa along. There was no excuse for placing her life in jeopardy. It was pure selfishness. If she came to harm, it would be his fault and his alone. And when dealing with cutthroats like the Hoodoos, that was a very real possibility.

What in God’s name had he done?