Drop Dead Healthy

The Lower Intestine

The Quest to Go to the Bathroom Properly

I’VE STUMBLED ACROSS some strange information in my health research. There’s Capgras syndrome, in which a person believes that his mother (or sister or best friend) has been replaced by an identical-looking impostor. There’s a disease called “pica,” where the sufferer has an overwhelming desire to eat dirt, paper, glue, or clay.

But right now I’m being told the oddest, most baffling detail I’ve heard all year.

I’m in the office of Dr. Lester Gottesman in midtown Manhattan. And he’s describing to me an elective surgery that he’s performed not once, but several times.

It’s for people who want to change the way they sound.

When they fart.

Yes, these patients want to change the timbre of their flatus, usually from a high pitch to a lower pitch. From a piccolo to a bassoon. Apparently, that’s more aesthetically pleasing.