Eve

CHAPTER 7

DAMMIT, NOT IN THE MIDDLE of the night!

But why not? Babies didn’t pay any attention to the clock. Just make it as inconvenient as possible for the mother.

Eve turned away from the commode, and called, “Sandra, I’ve got to get to the hospital. My water just broke.”

“Not in the middle of the night!”

“My thought exactly.” She turned to the closet. “I’ll get my suitcase, and you run downstairs and wake Mr. Milari. He promised he’d take me to the hospital in his taxi no matter what time. You may have to persuade him. I’m sure he was hoping it wouldn’t be at four in the morning.”

Sandra yawned as she stumbled out of the bedroom. “I’ll convince him.” She headed for the door. “Call the doctor.”

“I will.” The pains were beginning, and she took a deep breath. “After I deliver, call Mr. Kimble and let him know. Tell him I’ll only be out seven days like I promised.”

“For heaven’s sakes, you worked up to the last minute. He can’t expect you to jump right back, and-”

“Yes, he can. And I will.”

Sandra stopped at the door. “You haven’t told me whether you’re going to put the kid up for adoption. I should let the people at the hospital know.”

“They’ll know when I do.” She had been wrestling with that decision for months. She should probably give the baby up. It would be better for Eve and for the baby. All the odds were against you when you were sixteen and had a kid to raise. Look at what had happened to Sandra. But ever since the first movement, the child had become real to her. It was her baby, her child. “Let’s just get me there.”

“YOU’RE BACK WITH US.” THE plump, freckled young woman was smiling down at Eve. She was wearing a badge… MARGE TORAN, LPN. “You had us worried when you blacked out just as the baby was coming. Though it was a really long, difficult delivery. Heaven really wanted to keep that child.”

The nurse was smiling, Eve realized hazily. That must mean everything was all right. Medical people didn’t go around grinning if they had to give you bad news. “My baby?” she whispered.

“You have a little girl,” the nurse said softly. “A beautiful little girl. Is that what you wanted?”

Eve shook her head. “I didn’t think about it.” She had deliberately kept herself from thinking about the sex of the child. She had been afraid that she would grow even closer to her baby and not be able to make that crucial decision. “Does she have… everything? Toes, eyes…”

“All the right number of everything. She’s perfect.”

“That’s good. I tried to make sure she’d be healthy. It will give her a better… chance.” Was she making sense? She felt as if she was drifting away. “And if she’s a girl, she’ll need every…”

Another girl. Sandra. Eve. And now this little girl Eve had brought into the world. A chain. Would her daughter give birth at sixteen in some run-down slum? Did the chain have to go on and on?

“Would you like me to bring her to you?” Nurse Toran asked. “We’re cleaning her up, but you’ll be able to see her soon.”

She shouldn’t see her. She should tell the nurse her daughter needed a better place, a better life, a better mother.

“You rest.” The nurse was at the door. “I’ll bring her as quick as I can.”

Then she was gone.

Eve closed her eyes. Don’t go to sleep. They’re going to bring her. She was going to get to see her little girl.

“Eve.”

She opened her eyes to see Sandra beside the bed. “Hi.”

“It’s a girl,” Sandra said.

“I know. The nurse told me. Thanks for staying with me, Sandra.”

“I wanted to do it. I remember how lonely I felt when I woke up after I had you.”

The chain again. But this was a different link in the chain. A less cruel link.

“Have you seen her?”

“Not yet.” Sandra smiled. “You get the first glimpse.” She took Eve’s hand. “But they let me in to see you. You look good, kind of glowing.”

“Plain old perspiration. She gave me a hard time.”

“What do you expect? She’s your daughter.”

“And your granddaughter.”

Sandra’s eyes widened in mock horror. “Eve, I’m much too young to be a grandmother. Grandmothers have gray hair and wrinkles.”

“Then you’ll set a new trend.”

Sandra’s smile faded. “You’re going to keep her.”

She shook her head. “I know I shouldn’t do it. She deserves more.”

Sandra nodded. “It wouldn’t be smart.”

“Here she is.” Nurse Toran was coming through the door carrying a pink-wrapped bundle. “She’s magic. She doesn’t look like a newborn at all. And I know newborns aren’t supposed to see well or smile, but I swear she smiled at me. She seems to be glad to be here.” She put the baby in the curve of Eve’s arm. “Though that may change. She’s going to be hungry soon.” She folded the soft pink blanket away from the baby. “Say hello to your mama, cutie.”

So tiny, Eve thought. So delicate.

And then she looked down at the baby’s face.

And her little girl smiled at her.

“Oh, my God,” she whispered.

And it was not a curse.

A cap of wispy red-brown hair framed that tiny face. Dark eyes stared up at Eve, curious, alert, full of joy. Reaching out for everything that life held.

“What did I tell you?” the nurse said softly. “Magic.”

“Yes.” Eve’s arm tightened on the baby. “I never dreamed… May I keep her with me?”

“For a little while. Then you’ll have to sleep.” Nurse Toran headed for the door. “But both of you seem pretty happy right now.”

Happy? That wasn’t the word. Eve felt as if her entire being was opening, beginning to shine, with a kind of luminous radiance. A radiance that was coming from the child she was holding.

“She’s beautiful, Eve,” Sandra said.

“Yes.” Eve couldn’t look away from her little girl. “I know every mother thinks her child is special, but she is special, isn’t she? Even the nurse could see it.”

“So pretty.” Sandra took a step nearer. “And look at the way she’s looking at me.” She put a gentle finger on the baby’s hand. “She likes me, Eve.”

“I think she loves the whole world.” Eve touched the satin of the baby’s cheek. “It makes you want to make sure that she keeps on loving it, that nothing ever hurts her.” Her lips brushed the baby’s head. “Don’t you worry. I’m here. I’ll keep you safe.”

“Eve.”

“I know. But she’s magic, Sandra. And she knows no one could ever love her like I do.” She said softly, “Don’t you, baby? It’s sort of like a golden river flowing back and forth between us that will never end.”

“You’re going to keep her.”

“I want to keep her. I feel as if my heart will break if I lose her. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to give her up.” She could feel the tears sting her eyes as she pressed her cheek against that silky head. “But I’ll think about it. I’ll give myself a little time.”

Sandra shook her head. “Well, while you’re thinking, you’d better give her a name. You can’t keep calling her baby.”

A name.

“I never thought of names.” For the same reason she hadn’t wanted to know the sex of the baby. She looked down at the little girl. “What about it?” she asked her. “I don’t want to just pull a name out of a hat. We should decide it between us. I want to share everything with you.”

“She’s a newborn.” Sandra chuckled. “She can’t decide anything yet.”

“But she’s magic.” Her little girl was looking up at her, and Eve was getting lost in that gaze that seemed to be reaching out, asking, holding. “Give her a chance. Look at her. Isn’t she beautiful? And she has a beautiful soul. I know it.”

“A name,” Sandra prompted.

Beautiful child. Beautiful soul. Eve thought for a moment, then said softly, “Her name is Bonnie.”

“YOU’RE BREAST-FEEDING HER,” Sandra noticed when she walked into Eve’s hospital room the next morning. “I suppose that means the decision is made?”

Eve nodded and tucked the blanket around Bonnie, who had drifted off to sleep. “I thought a long time about it. I didn’t sleep last night. I was afraid that I was just being selfish. She deserves better than that from me.”

“But you’re still keeping her.”

“Yes.” Eve gazed down at the baby, who had made a tiny sound. Are you dreaming, sweetheart? I hope they’re wonderful dreams. “Because I realized something.” Her glance shifted to Sandra. “All my life, I thought the only thing I wanted was to pull myself out of the gutter and have a clean, decent life. That was going to be my destiny.” She added simply, “But I was wrong. I was born for only one thing. To love and take care of my little girl. None of the rest matters. I’ll break the chain, but it will be for her. Everything that was going to be for me, will be for her. For my Bonnie.”

Sandra was silent a moment. “It’s going to be so hard, Eve.”

Eve nodded. “I’ll need help. I have to work and go to school. I was going to ask Rosa to move in with me, but I’d rather have you.” She paused. “But I can’t have anyone on drugs around Bonnie. You were great while I was pregnant. You only took off three times during those months. But you have to be completely clean now. One time, and I’ll have to keep her away from you.”

“For heaven’s sake, Eve, a few little sniffs don’t do anyone-” She broke off as she met Eve’s gaze. “I know I’m lying to myself. I always knew. I wouldn’t hurt her, Eve.”

“I can’t take the chance.”

Sandra hesitated. “You’d really trust me to take care of her?”

Eve nodded. “I’ll be scared to death until you prove yourself to me. I’ll be calling every fifteen minutes.”

“Mr. Kimble wouldn’t like that.” Sandra smiled. “So I guess I’d better put your mind at rest. She’ll be safe with me. After all, I took care of you, didn’t I?”

“Yes,” Eve said. “And you were younger than I am. You were a very brave girl, Sandra.”

Sandra blinked. “You think so? I never thought about it. I just did what I had to do. You can’t be brave if you’re scared all the time.”

“Sure you can.” She paused. “But I don’t want to saddle you with my child, Sandra. That’s not fair. Unless it’s what you want, too. Do you?”

Sandra didn’t answer for a moment. “I’m lonely sometimes, you know. You’re so strong, Eve. For a long time you haven’t needed me. I kind of liked helping you out lately. It made me feel important.”

“You are important.” She looked down at Bonnie. “And you could be very important to her. She’s going to need all the help we can give her. We’ll keep all the ugliness away from her. She’s got to have a good life, Sandra. If we work together, we can give it to her.”

“You truly need my help?”

“Of course, I do.”

Sandra came closer and looked down at the sleeping Bonnie. “Look at her.” She touched Bonnie’s red-brown curls. “She’s got hair like mine. She’s going to be real pretty. You’re right, you do need my help. You never did take any pains to look nice. I’ll have to show her all the little tricks. I think her hair is going to be curly.” She added absently, “I don’t remember John Gallo having curly hair.”

The comment came as a little shock to Eve. Bonnie had seemed to be so completely Eve’s own that she had not thought of John Gallo having any part of her. Or perhaps she had blocked out any connection. That was more likely. “He didn’t. It was thick and a little wavy, but not curly.” Her gaze ran over Bonnie’s features. Her skin was a little more olive than Eve’s, dark eyes, but they might fade to Eve’s hazel. She didn’t have that faint indentation in the chin that John had. No, she was definitely more Eve’s child than John Gallo’s. Except for the beauty that everyone had instantly noticed. No one could deny that John had stunning good looks and, in spite of his telling Eve that she was beautiful, she knew it wasn’t true.

But Eve would not think of her daughter as an extension of either one of them. She was an entity in her own right. She was Bonnie.

“Then are you going to help me with my little girl?”

“I think I have to do it, don’t you?” Sandra smiled gently down at Bonnie. “You all are claiming she’s magic, and naturally she wouldn’t have it any other way. I knew that first minute that she took a liking to me.”

“WHAT A SWEET LITTLE GIRL. She looks like a ray of sunshine in that yellow dress.”

Eve turned around to see Ted Danner coming down the street toward her, his gaze on Bonnie sitting up in her stroller. “Let’s see, she must be five months?”

“Six.” Eve bent down and adjusted Bonnie’s visor. “But she’s small for her age.” She added quickly, “Though she’s very healthy.”

“I can tell.” He was smiling as he bent down and chucked Bonnie under the chin. “And a happy child. That’s important. John would have been proud of her.”

“She’s happy. She loves her rides in the stroller.”

“I know.” He paused. “I’ve been watching you for the last week as you took her for walks. I guess I was trying to work up the nerve to talk to you.”

“Why? Because you thought I’d resent your meeting Bonnie?” She frowned. “Look, Mr. Danner, I have no bad feelings toward you. John loved you and thought you were the kindest man alive. It wasn’t right for him to draw you into what was between the two of us, but it was only kindness that led you to do it.” She paused. “You haven’t heard anything about John yet? It’s been so long.”

“Longer for me than for you.” He looked down at Bonnie. “You’ve been very busy. And John must seem like a dream to you now.”

“Sometimes. You have to understand. We didn’t really know each other.”

“He thought he knew you. He talked a lot about you. He said he’d never met anyone before who moved him as you did.” His gaze shifted to Bonnie. “And he gave you this wonderful child.”

“I assure you that it wasn’t his intention. Neither of us wanted this to happen. It just did.” She paused. “I won’t try to convince you not to tell John about Bonnie. I’ll have to face it sometime.”

“No, you won’t.” His eyes were suddenly glittering with moisture. “You’re not going to have to worry about my John any longer. That’s why I had to gather my courage before I faced you. I got this notification last month.” He fumbled in his pocket and brought out a crumpled piece of paper. “He’s dead. He was lost off the coast of North Korea a few weeks after he arrived there. The remains were discovered in an inlet five weeks ago. They say the dental records are indisputable proof. The Army is very sorry about my loss. They’ll probably send me a damn medal.” His voice was suddenly bitter. “His loss. He was only nineteen years old. His life was hell from the minute he was born. They shouldn’t have let him die before he had a chance to live.”

“Dead?” she whispered. It came as a complete shock. She had rejected the possibility of John Gallo’s death, but it was there before her. “They’re sure?”

“Read the notification.”

She took the crumpled paper and scanned it. All very official. All very sad. But, as Ted Danner had said, it didn’t tell the real tragedy of the death of that strong, young man who had just started to live. Memories of John Gallo were suddenly bombarding her. John at the hospital, John carrying Sandra up the stairs, John moving over her in bed. Always strong, always dominant, always vibrant and complicated, with a presence that could be either restrained or explosive. He had been in her life for such a short time, and yet he’d had more impact than anyone she’d ever met. And John Gallo was no longer alive? She was suddenly feeling a terrible sense of loss. She handed the notification back to him. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Danner.”

“So am I.” He stuffed the paper back in his pocket. “I promised him I’d keep an eye on you. Would you mind if I still do it? It would make me feel I’m doing something for him. I won’t get in your way.”

“I don’t mind.” She reached out and touched his shoulder. “Maybe you could come to dinner some night. I’m a lousy cook, but my mother is pretty good.”

He shook his head. “No, I wouldn’t impose. You have your life to lead.” He smiled with an effort and gently brushed his hand on Bonnie’s cheek. “She has the look of him, doesn’t she? She’s going to be pretty as a picture.”

“Yes, she is.” If he wanted to see John in Bonnie, she wouldn’t disillusion him. “And I’m grateful every day that I have her.”

He nodded. “I’ll leave you. I just wanted to let you know about John. You and I were the only ones who really cared about him. I guess I wanted to share.” He started down the street. “Good-bye, Eve. Take care of that little girl.”

“I will.” She stood and watched him slowly walk away. She could feel her throat tighten. He wasn’t an old man, but between his injuries and sorrow, he appeared that way.

Bonnie gave a cry, and Eve saw that she had dropped the pink rabbit toy that Sandra had given her. She automatically picked it up and handed it back to her. Bonnie was immediately happy. It didn’t take much to make a baby happy, particularly Bonnie. Her daughter had the sunniest disposition on the planet. “Come on, Bonnie, let’s go back. I don’t feel like walking anymore.”

But she stopped when she reached the green bench outside the front door that she always considered Rosa’s bench. “Maybe we’ll get a little more sun before we go back inside.” She sat down on the bench and turned Bonnie’s stroller to face her. “It’s not fair to cut your outdoor time short just because I’m upset.”

And she was upset. She had told herself a thousand times that her relationship with John had been based entirely on the physical, but that didn’t seem to matter anymore. A part of her life had vanished from the earth. She couldn’t ignore it. She didn’t want to ignore it. Not when she was gazing at her daughter’s smiling face.

No, Bonnie wasn’t smiling now. She was staring gravely at Eve as if sensing that her mother was troubled. Eve had noticed before that Bonnie appeared to be attuned to her every mood. Imagination? Maybe. But Eve knew she had that connection with Bonnie, so why shouldn’t her daughter have that same bond?

“He’s gone, Bonnie,” Eve said softly. “He was your father, and I don’t even know what to tell you about him. I didn’t know him that well myself. But everyone should know something about the people who brought them into the world. I don’t know anything about my father. Sandra didn’t want to talk about him. I think he hurt her. Your father didn’t hurt me.” No, he had disturbed her, aroused her, and taught her about some of the most beautiful, heady moments a woman could know. “I know he was hurt himself. Though he wouldn’t talk much about it. But what I do know is that he was strong, and beautiful like you, and he never lied to me. Those are all good things.”

Bonnie was clutching her rabbit, but her gaze was fixed on Eve’s face.

“You don’t understand any of this.” Eve could feel the tears rise to her eyes. “Sometimes, I don’t either, but we should try. If I tell you about our time together, maybe I’ll understand it, too.” She wiped her eyes on the back of her hand. “Though most of it I’ll have to skip because it’s X-rated.” She laughed shakily. “And that’s a shame because that’s the part where you came on the scene, and that’s the best part of the story.” She leaned forward and kissed Bonnie’s cheek. “The very best part.”

Then she leaned back on the bench. “I guess I should start at the beginning. I met your father on a hot summer night right here, very close to where we’re sitting now. He came to my rescue like some hero out of the storybooks I’ll be reading you when you get a little older. His name was John Gallo…”