Fletch Won

“Cecilia’s Boutique. Cecilia speaking. Have you considered jodhpurs?”

“Good afternoon,” Fletch said. “I ordered a pair of jodhpurs for my wife, this morning. A color you don’t have in stock?”

“There’s a color we don’t have in stock?”

“Special order. Green, white, and black stripes, vertical at the thighs and calves, horizontal at the knees.”

“We certainly don’t have that in stock.”

“It’s all right. I understand. You’re a small shop. Can’t have all the jodhpurs in the world in stock.”

“I thought we did,” Cecilia said beguilingly.

“I told the salesgirl, who said her name was Barbara, that I’d call her this afternoon with my wife’s exact size.”

“That would be Barbara Ralton.”

“May I speak with her, please?”

“Of course.”

After a pause, Barbara said, “Hello?”

“Hiya, sweetie.”

“Fletch? How did you get through to me?”

“I lied. But it’s all right. I can forgive myself. When people are corrupt enough to oblige lies, I oblige them.”

“Where are you?”

“In the only bar in Tomasito.”

“Tomasito? What are you doing there?”

“Having a lukewarm beer.”

“You went a long way for a beer.”

“Listen, Barbara, I won’t be able to have dinner with you and your mother tonight. There are things I still have to do.”

“You promised.”

“I promise for tomorrow night.”

“That will leave only two days till the wedding.”

“Absolute promise.”

“Fletch, did you hear on the radio that the police released the man who confessed to Habeck’s murder?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, no. That’s why you’re in Tomasito! That’s why you’re going to be late tonight! The week we get married, you are determined to get yourself fired over that Habeck story!”

“Barbara? I had another assignment from the News-Tribune. But, you know, somehow or other the rug got pulled out from under my feet on it.”

“The travel story. What has Cindy got to do with a travel story?”

“You can go a long way with Cindy. How did she like the ski outfit?”

“She liked it. I bought it. Cindy has excellent taste in sportswear.”

“I’ll say. Er, Barbara, do you have any idea what Cindy does for a living?”

“Yeah. She works for one of those diet-health spas. Which is why I was so surprised to see she had a banana split for lunch. I guess she can take such a thing, but she sets people like me a real bad example.”

“She works it off, I guess. One way or another.”

“I forget which spa she works for. One of the fancy ones, downtown, I think.”

“Do you think she might be gay?”

“Cindy? Lesbian? No way. I’ve seen her out with lots of men.”

“I’m sure you have.”

“Cindy’s real nice.”

“Yes, she is. See you tonight.”

“You are coming to the beach house?”

“Absolutely. I’ll just be late. You might put some curtains up in the bedroom.”

“Don’t you like getting it up early?”

“Not that early.”