Fortress

55

Sam watched her as she read it, his heart sinking to new depths.

‘They made you say all this?’

‘I didn’t have any choice.’ He told her what Farmer had said. ‘They would have found out about Karza. And that would have been his death sentence. I did it for him.’

He searched her face for some expression, something to show she understood. One by one he was disappointing everyone who mattered to him and he couldn’t bear it if she was next. ‘I hope you don’t think any the worse of me.’

‘You need to be careful. You shouldn’t have got their backs up in the first place.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Your position, right inside the Party, the contact with the prime minister and his officials. From now on, do nothing to upset them. Stay on message: remind them what an asset you are. That’s the way you’re going to save Karza and make a big difference.’

Sam didn’t know what she meant.

She came and sat close, put a hand on his face. The effect was electric. ‘You are very alone, aren’t you?’

He felt the tears welling again. This so wasn’t the image he wanted to project right now. He nodded. Yes, he did feel desperately alone.

She smiled. ‘That’s how we all feel. This is how it is. Before, you were getting on with your life without a thought about your brothers. This has brought you closer to them.’

‘I have just one brother.’

‘No, you don’t. You have thousands of brothers — millions — and they feel like you. But they are with you. You’ve got them — and they have you. Do you understand that?’

‘Maybe.’

‘And you have me.’

She looked at him with a gaze that melted his anguish. But then he was jolted with another realization. He slapped the newspaper. ‘The people who — the men I met, they’ll see this and they’ll…’ He felt ineffectual and weak.

‘I know what you’re thinking, but that won’t happen.’

He wanted to believe her, but couldn’t begin to imagine how this could end other than badly. Very badly.