Foul Play

Twelve

Stone was just ordering a sandwich for lunch at his desk when Dino walked in. Stone pressed the intercom. “We have a guest for lunch,” he said.

Joan came into the room with a pad and pencil. “What would you like, Commissioner?”

“What’s he having?”

“A Reuben and a beer.”

“Double up on that order,” Dino said, and Joan left.

“Have a seat. What brings you to the upper atmosphere of the East Side?”

“Oh, I haven’t choked on the carbon dioxide for a while. It always brings back memories.”

“Of what?”

“Of choking.”

“Of course.”

“Our conversation of this morning led me to treat the events of last night as more of a police matter.”

“How so?”

“Well, I reasoned that in such a tony neighborhood — mine — with such distinguished inhabitants — me — there might be a security camera or two at the corner of Sixty-Third and Park.”

“And were there?”

“There were seventeen.”

“Oh, good, so you’ll have everything, including their dental X-rays.”

“Not quite. We got a lot of shots of the car, which was, as Fred noted, a Mercedes S550 four-door sedan. With darkened windows, however, so we don’t know who was inside.”

“But you got shots of the license plates, right?”

“Sort of.”

“Were any of the cameras high-definition?”

“All of them.”

“Then why ‘sort of’?”

“We got a usable partial plate, that’s all.”

“How usable?”

“The first four characters were ‘1PCT.’ That’s all we got.”

“And how many vehicles in New York City begin with those characters?”

“New York State: a little under two thousand. Due to technical difficulties, we could not narrow the search to the city.”

“What kind of ‘technical difficulties’?

“Technical difficulties that were explained to me, but I didn’t understand.”

“Ah, that kind.”

“Right.”

“So we can’t just go to the owner’s residence and hammer on the door.”

“We cannot.”

“Well, did the attentions of the NYPD produce anything remotely useful?”

“We were able to use the feds’ facial recognition software on the two thugs,” Dino said.

“And?”

“And it didn’t recognize them.”

“Technical difficulties?”

“How did you know?”

“Just a wild guess.”

“Don’t get sarcastic.”

“That wasn’t sarcasm, it was irony.”

“If you say so.”

“I do.”

Their lunch arrived in time to save Dino any further embarrassment.

Dino polished off his beer, belched, and sat back in his chair. “I guess we’re going to have to resort to old-fashioned police work,” he said.

“What sort of ‘old-fashioned police work’?”

“I’m going to have two cars following you at all times.”

“Well, that should be easy, since I’m right here in this office most of the time.”

“This will be rolling surveillance,” Dino said.

“Okay, as long as it isn’t black SUVs with blue flashers mounted on the dashboard.”

“You got something against our police vehicles?”

“Yes. They look like police vehicles.”

“What do you suggest?”

“I suggest unmarked sedans.”

“I wonder if we still have any of those.”

“What do detectives ride in these days?”

“Unmarked sedans, but this is not proper work for detectives. Patrolmen can handle it.”

“Uniformed patrolmen?”

“Sure. You object to that, too?”

“Same objection as for the SUVs.”

“You’re getting ironic again.”

“Dino, these patrolmen go to mass on Sunday or synagogue on Saturday, right?”

“Sure, most of them.”

“What do they wear on those occasions?”

“Suits, I guess.”

“There you go. No shopping or expense involved, just have them wear their own suits. They can pretend they’re detectives. They’ll like that.”

“I guess you want me to issue them gold badges, too?”

“They can just pin the tin ones to their underwear.”

“Anything else?”

“Yes: no heavy black shoes with white socks. That’s always a tip-off.”

“You’ll get whatever they wear to mass or synagogue.”

“I’ll settle for that.”

“What time is your dinner date?”

“Seven-thirty.”

“My guys will be outside at seven.”

“Fine, but not right in front of the house. Tell them to employ subtlety at all times.”

“Why wouldn’t they?”

“Because they’re street cops. Don’t you remember what that was like?”

“Dimly.”

“I don’t think we’ll need to bust anybody tonight. All we need is a good license plate to work with.”

“Suppose these people commit a crime?”

“Like what?”

“Like shooting you.”

“Then they can bust them, right after they call the EMTs.”

“I’ll make a note of that,” Dino said, making a note of it. “Is lunch over?”

“It is, unless you’d like a slice of blueberry pie, à la mode.”

“I would like that.”

The pie came, Dino ate it, then left without another word.

Stone pressed the intercom: “Joan?”

“Make sure that Dino doesn’t wander into the street and get run over by a car.”

“Yes, sir.”