Frog

~ ~ ~

Dear Sugitani Akihito sensei,

It’s New Year’s day, January first. It has been snowing since yesterday evening. The world outside my window is blanketed by white, and children are already out there playing boisterously. A pair of magpies is calling in the poplar tree in front of my house, chittering like they’d been pleasantly surprised.

My heart was heavy after reading your response, knowing that my letter had caused you to lose sleep and suffer physically. Your expression of sympathy has touched me deeply. You cried when you read the part where Renmei died; writing it had the same effect on me. I did not blame Gugu, she did nothing wrong. Even though she’s expressed remorse more frequently in recent years, saying she had blood on her hands, that’s history, and history is all about effects, not what caused them. One gazes upon China’s Great Wall or the Egyptian pyramids without a thought to the blanched bones buried beneath these magnificent edifices. Over the past two decades China has resolved the problem of its population explosion by draconian measures, not only for the sake of the country’s development, but as a contribution to humanity. When all is said and done, we live together on this tiny planet, with its finite resources. Once they’re gone, they’re not coming back, and seen from this perspective, Westerners’ critiques of China’s family-planning policies are unfair.

There have been significant changes in my hometown over the past couple of years. The new Party secretary is a young man in his late thirties with an American PhD, bold vision, and lofty goals. We’ve been told that he plans to develop the area on both sides of the Jiao River, and to that end, construction equipment has begun rumbling into the area. Within a few years, you won’t be able to recognise the place, with all its changes. Much of what you saw when you were here will be gone. Whether these coming changes will work to the area’s advantage or disadvantage is impossible to say.

I will include the third portion of material about my aunt with this letter — I’m embarrassed to call it a letter. I will, of course, keep writing. Your praise is all the encouragement I need.

Let me repeat our heartfelt invitation for you to visit us again at your convenience — maybe we should welcome you with the sort of treatment reserved for old and dear friends.

One more thing. My wife and I will soon retire and move back to our hometown. In Beijing we have always felt like outsiders. Not long ago, near the People’s Theatre, we were pilloried for two hours by a pair of women who, we were told, had grown up in a Beijing lane, one of its famous hutongs, which cemented our desire to return to our roots. We don’t expect the people back home to mistreat us like the people in big cities do. And maybe I’ll be closer to literature there.

Tadpole

New Year’s Day, 2004

Beijing

1

After dealing with Renmei’s funeral and putting things in order at home, I rushed back to my unit. A month later I received a telegram informing me that Mother had died. I took the telegram to my superior and asked for more leave. At the same time I handed him a request to transfer to civilian life.

On the night of Mother’s funeral, the yard was bathed in silvery moonlight. My daughter was sleeping on a rush mat laid out beneath the pear tree. Father was fanning her to keep the mosquitoes away. Katydids chirping on the bean trellis added to the sound of water flowing in the river.

You should find someone, Father said with a sigh. With no women in the family, this doesn’t seem like a home.

I’ve sent in a request to return to civilian life, I said. So let’s wait till I come back home.

Everything was going along fine, he said with another sigh, and look how it’s turned out. I don’t even know who to blame.

You can’t blame Gugu, I said. She didn’t do anything wrong.

I wasn’t blaming her, he said. It was just our fate.

Without dedicated people like Gugu, I said, government policy would be impossible to implement.

What you say makes sense, but why did it have to be her? It broke my heart to see her get stabbed in the leg and bleed like that. She is, after all, my cousin.

Nothing we can do about that, I said.

2

According to Father, after my mother-in-law stabbed Gugu, the wound became infected and Gugu spiked a high fever that stubbornly hung on. Yet that did not stop her from leading a team to search for and arrest Wang Dan. The term sounds unduly harsh, but that’s what they used.

Wang Dan’s gate was locked and not a sound emerged from the other side. So Gugu told her team to break down the gate and enter the yard. Your aunt had to have been tipped off, Father said. She hobbled into the house, where she removed the lid from a pot on the stove and saw it was half filled with porridge. She tested it with her finger; it was still warm. She smirked. Chen Bi, Wang Dan, she announced loudly, either you come out on your own or I’ll come get you, like dragging rats out of their hole.

Silence.

Gugu pointed to a wardrobe in the corner. Nothing but old clothes. Your aunt had people take out all the old clothes, exposing the bottom floor. She then picked up a rolling pin and pounded on it until a hole opened up. You can come out of there, guerrilla heroes, she said. Or do you want us to pour water in?

Chen Er, Wang Dan’s daughter, was first out. Her face was streaked with dust, making her look like a temple demon. Not only did she not cry, she bared her teeth and giggled. Chen Bi was next. He hadn’t shaved, his hair was curled, and he was wearing a vest that showed his chest hair; he was a sorry sight. A big man like that, Father said, and he immediately fell to his knees in front of your aunt and banged his head on the floor over and over, setting up a racket. His pitiful wails affected the whole village.

Gugu, dear, dear Gugu, I was the first child you delivered and Wang Dan is so tiny, won’t you raise your noble hand and spare us… Gugu, our family will remember your mercy for generations…

Father said, People who were there said your aunt heard this with tears in her eyes. Chen Bi, she said, oh, Chen Bi, this isn’t for me to decide. If it were, that would make it easy. I’d cut off my hand for you!

Please, Gugu, be merciful.

Chen Bi’s daughter cleverly fell to her knees, just like her father, and banged her head on the floor.

Be merciful, she intoned, be merciful…

Right about then, Father said, Wuguan, who was part of the crowd, began glibly singing lines from the song ‘Tunnel Warfare’: Tunnel warfare/Hey, tunnel warfare/Thousands of brave fighters hidden below… tunnel warfare spread out over the boundless plain… If the Japs resist, we’ll finish them off.

Your aunt wiped her darkening face. That’s enough, Chen Bi. Now call Wang Dan out.

Chen Bi crawled up to your aunt on his knees and wrapped his arms around her leg. Chen Er copied him, wrapping her arms around the other leg.

Wuguan sang more of the song: Tunnel warfare spread out over the boundless plain… We’ll cut them to pieces if they dare come here… Tie every man’s tubes, practise birth control…

Your aunt tried to break free, but they refused to let go of her legs.

Then she realised something. Go down there! she ordered.

One of the militiamen climbed down into the hole, holding a flashlight in his mouth.

Another followed him down.

There’s nobody here, came a shout from below.

Overcome by anger, Gugu toppled over and passed out.

That Chen Bi nearly put something over on your aunt, Father said. Remember that vegetable plot behind his house? Well, it had a well with a pulley, and that was the escape hatch for the tunnel. I don’t know how Chen Bi managed such a big job, with all that dirt he had to get rid of. While he and Chen Er were tying up your aunt, Wang Dan had gone through the tunnel and pulled herself up by the pulley over the well. It couldn’t have been easy, Father said, for that little slip of a woman, big belly and all, to climb up that rope to get away.

They carried your aunt over to the well. How could I be so stupid! she spat out angrily, accentuated by a stomp of her foot. How could I! Back when my father worked at the Xihai Hospital he led a team to dig just such a tunnel.

Your aunt passed out a second time. This time she was taken straight to the hospital. She came down with the same illness that had struck Bethune, and nearly died from it. She was a devoted Communist, and the Party reciprocated by treating her with an emergency supply of the finest and most expensive medicines.

After two weeks in the hospital she left on her own before her wound had completely healed. The incident weighed heavily on her mind. She said she wouldn’t be able to eat or sleep until she’d gotten that child out of Wang Dan’s belly. That’s how strong her sense of responsibility was. Would you call someone like that human? Father sighed. No, she’d become a god or a demon.

Chen Bi and Chen Er were confined in the commune. There was talk that they were strung up and beaten, but that was just a rumour. When village cadres went to see them, they were being held in a room with a bed and bedding, a vacuum bottle and two glasses. Food and water were delivered to them. Their meals were the same as the commune cadres: steamed rolls, millet porridge, and whatever else was being served. Father and daughter gained weight and healthy complexions. They had to pay for their food, but Chen Bi had plenty of money from his business ventures. The commune checked with the bank to see just how much: it was thirty-eight thousand yuan! While your aunt was in the hospital, the commune sent a work team into the village, where they met with the local members and announced that all able-bodied villagers were to search for Wang Dan and would be paid five yuan a day, all to come out of Chen Bi’s bank account. Some villagers said they wouldn’t go, calling it blood money, but were told that if they refused, they would be fined five yuan a day. In the end, all seven hundred souls turned out. Three hundred of them searched the first day; when they returned home they were given their five yuan, making a total outlay that day of about eighteen hundred yuan. The commune also announced that whoever located Wang Dan and brought her home would be given a two hundred yuan reward. A hundred went to anyone who produced a viable clue. That turned the village into a frenzied mass, some clapping their hands from delight, others privately uncomfortable. Father said, I knew that some people coveted those rewards, but most only searched half-heartedly, making a turn or two around farmland and shouting: Come out, Wang Dan. If you don’t, you’ll be wiped out financially. After a few moments of that, they went back and worked their own plots. At night, of course, they went to get paid; they’d have been fined if they hadn’t.

Didn’t they find her? I asked.

How would they find her? Father said. Everyone felt she’d gone far away.

A little thing like that, with short steps and a big belly, how far could she have gone? I’ll bet she was still in the village. I lowered my voice. She might have been hiding in her parents’ home.

They didn’t need you to point that out, Father said. Those people from the commune knew what they were doing. They wouldn’t be happy until they dug down three feet in Wang Jiao’s house. They even broke open the kang to see if maybe Wang Dan was hiding inside. I doubt there was a person in the village who’d have borne the responsibility of hiding her and not reporting. The fine was three thousand.

Could she have decided to end it all? Did they search the river and all the wells?

You underestimate that little woman. She was more intelligent than all the other villagers combined and had more ambition than the tallest man you could find.

You’ve got a point. I recall her pretty little face and her expressions, from crafty to headstrong. The problem was, she must have been seven months along by then.

That’s why your aunt was so anxious. She said, Before it was ‘out of the pot’ it was just meat, and it needed to come out one way or another. But once it was out of the pot it was a human being, even if it had no arms and no legs, and was protected by national laws.

I conjured up an image of Wang Dan: two and a half feet tall, with a big belly, her delicate little head held high, a pair of thin legs in motion, a bundle over her arm, moving clumsily across a bramble-infested mountain road as she looked over her shoulder, tripping but getting back up, and running again… or seated in a large wooden basin, with an oversized stirring slat as her oar as she paddles breathlessly down river rapids.

3

Three days after Mother’s funeral, according to custom, friends and family turned out to ‘circle the grave’. There we burned paper replicas of horses and people, as well as a paper TV set. Mother’s grave was only ten metres from where Renmei was buried. Bright green wild grass was already growing over her grave. I was told by a family elder to circle Mother’s grave with raw rice in my left hand and unhusked millet in my right. Three counterclockwise revolutions were followed by three clockwise revolutions, during which I let the rice and millet drop slowly from my hands as I intoned: A handful of millet, a handful of rice, we send the dear departed to Paradise. My daughter followed me, tossing grain to the ground from her tiny hands.

Gugu took time out of her busy schedule to come. Little Lion, medical kit over her back, walked behind her. Gugu was still hobbling, and, in the months since I’d last seen her, she seemed considerably older. She knelt at the foot of Mother’s grave and wailed. We’d never seen Gugu cry like that, and it shook us to our core. Little Lion stood off to the side, her eyes tear-filled. Women came up to console Gugu; they lifted her up by her arms, but the moment they let go, she fell back to her knees and wept even more bitterly. Affected by the display of Gugu’s grief, women who by then had stopped crying fell to their knees and began to keen along with her.

I bent down to help Gugu to her feet, but Little Lion said softly, Let her cry. She’s been holding this back for a very long time.

The look of compassion on Little Lion’s face gave me a warm feeling.

When she finally stopped crying, Gugu got to her feet, dried her eyes, and said to me: Xiaopao, Chairwoman Yang phoned me to say that you want to leave the army.

Yes, I replied. I’ve already handed in a request.

Chairwoman Yang has asked me to talk you out of it. She’s made arrangements to reassign you to the planning section, where you’ll work directly under her, with a promotion to the rank of deputy battalion commander. She thinks highly of you.

That means nothing to me now, I said. I’d rather go back and collect manure than work in family planning.

That’s where you’re wrong, she said. Family planning is Party work, important work.

Phone Chairwoman Yang and thank her for her concern. But I’m coming home. I don’t know how the very old and very young will get by if I don’t.

Don’t be so firm, she said. Give it more thought. You really should stay in the army. Fieldwork is hard on a person. Look at Yang Xin and then look at me. We’re both involved in family planning, but she has a leisurely life and it shows, with her nice complexion and all. And me? Scurrying here and hopping there, blood one moment and tears the next, until I look like this.

4

I confess, fame and fortune meant a lot to me. Though I said I wanted to leave the army, when I heard that I could look forward to a promotion and that Chairwoman Yang regarded me highly, I wavered. Back home, when I talked it over with Father, he too thought that leaving was a bad idea. Years ago, your great-uncle healed an injury to Commander Yang’s leg and cured his wife’s illness, putting them in his debt. Now he’s a high-ranking officer, and your future will be assured by having a connection with him. I voiced my objection to what Father was saying, but deep down that’s what I was thinking. We were ordinary people, common citizens, and I could be forgiven for wanting to curry favour with people of power and influence, society’s dragons and phoenixes. So the next time Gugu came to see me, my attitude had changed. And when she suggested a marriage between me and Little Lion, though I brought up Wang Gan’s decade-long infatuation with Little Lion as an excuse, even that argument began to crumble.

I’m childless, Gugu said, and Little Lion has become like a daughter to me. She’s a woman of fine character, has a heart of gold, and is fiercely loyal to me. How could I ever let her marry Wang Gan?

Gugu, I said, I’m sure you know it’s now been twelve years since Wang Gan wrote that first letter to Little Lion. In that time he’s written more than five hundred letters. He told me so. And that’s not all. One of the ways he expressed his love for her was to report his own sister. Of course, he reported Yuan Sai and Renmei too. How else would you have known about Yuan Sai’s illegal removal of IUDs, and how else would you have known that Renmei and Wang Dan were pregnant in violation of family-planning policy?

The truth is, Little Lion never read any of those disgusting letters, since I intercepted every one of them. I told Postal Director Ma to send me all his letters.

But he helped you in your work, I said, ever since his father had his vasectomy. In this latest contribution, he handed you his own sister.

One absolutely cannot marry a person like that, she said angrily. How dependable can someone who would sell out his friends, even his own sister, over a woman be?

But he still helped you.

Those are two different matters. Remember this, Xiaopao, she said earnestly, a person can be anything, anything but a traitor. There is no reason, however lofty, that excuses that. From ancient times to the present, betrayers have always come to grief. That includes Wang Xiaoti. He may have been given five thousand ounces of gold, but I’m willing to bet that he will die badly. If you were to defect to the KMT today for five thousand ounces of gold, would you then defect to another political party that offered you ten thousand? So the more Wang Gan reports on others, the lower he is in my eyes, and in my heart he is nothing but a pile of dog shit.

But what if you hadn’t intercepted his letters, Gugu? Is it possible that Little Lion would have been moved by what he wrote? Maybe even be married to him by now?

Impossible, absolutely impossible. She has lofty ambitions, and Wang Gan isn’t the only one who’s been smitten by her in recent years. There have been a dozen at least, including cadres and workers, but none has impressed her.

I shook my head. But, I said sceptically, she’s not really very good—

Hah! Gugu replied. How short-sighted can you be! Some women look good at first glance, but the more you look, the more flaws you see. What about Little Lion? At first glance you’d think she isn’t much to look at, but look long enough and you’ll see just how attractive she is. You’ve probably never taken the time to do that, have you? I’ve spent my whole life around women, and I know exactly what makes a woman a prized creature. Do you recall the time you were just promoted to cadre status, how I tried to get you and her together? But you’d fallen for Renmei, and even though I opposed the match, given the freedom to marry whom one pleases in the new society, as your aunt I had no choice but to go along. Now, of course, she’s left a void — don’t get me wrong, I’m not happy she died and wish she’d had a long life — as the heavens have willed it, and the heavens have also willed that you and Little Lion be together.

Gugu, I said, no matter what you say, Wang Gan and I were childhood friends, and everyone — adults and children — knows how he feels. If I were to marry Little Lion, I’d drown under the spittle the masses would send my way.

You’re wrong again, she said. His love for her is a one-sided affair, like a barber’s carrying pole — only the pail on one end is hot. Little Lion never once expressed any interest in him. If she married you, it would be a case of ‘the firebird knows which perch to choose’. Besides, this thing called love has nothing to do with loyalty among friends. Love is selfish. If Little Lion were a horse that Wang Gan had his eye on, then you could let him have her, no problem there. But Little Lion is a human being, and if you fall in love with her, you’ll have to take her for your own. You’ve been out in the world for several years and have seen many foreign movies, so how can you be so inflexible?

Even if I said I’d do it, what would she—

Gugu interrupted me: You don’t have to worry about that. She’s been with me so long I know what she’s thinking. I’ll tell you the unvarnished truth: It’s you she’s in love with, and if Renmei hadn’t left us, Little Lion would stay single all her life.

Let me think this over for a few days, Gugu, I said. The dirt on Renmei’s grave is still damp.

Think what over? A long night brings many dreams. If Renmei’s spirit is up there somewhere, she’ll be clapping her hands in approval. Why? Because Little Lion is a good woman, and it would be Renmei’s good fortune for her daughter to have such a stepmother. Not only that, government policy would allow you and Little Lion to have a child, and I’d be wishing for twins. Xiaopao; you will have benefited greatly from misfortune.

5

The date for my wedding was set.

Gugu took care of the arrangements. I felt like a floating piece of rotting wood kept moving by gentle nudges.

Little Lion and I were alone together for only the second time when we registered to be married at the commune office.

Our first private meeting had been in the dormitory room shared by Gugu and Little Lion. It had been a Saturday morning. Gugu ushered us into the room and left, shutting the door behind her. A pile of dust-covered newspapers and a couple of books on obstetrics sat atop a three-drawer table between the two single beds. Bees swarmed around a dozen or so sturdy, pollen-laden sunflowers just outside the window. After pouring me a glass of water, she sat on her bed. I sat on Gugu’s bed. The air carried the fragrance of hand soap. Soapy water half filled a Red Lantern washbasin. Gugu’s unmade bed was an impossible mess.

Gugu is totally devoted to her work.

I know.

I feel like I’m dreaming.

Me too.

You know all about Wang Gan, don’t you? He’s written to you five hundred times.

Gugu told me.

Any thoughts about that?

Not really.

I’ve been married before and I have a daughter. Does that bother you?

No.

Do you want to talk this over with your family?

I have no family.

Later, she rode on the back of my bicycle to the commune offices. I had trouble controlling the bicycle over the bumpy road, only recently paved with shards of brick and tile. She sat with her shoulder pressed against my back. I could feel her weight. Some people ride well on the back of a bicycle, some don’t. Renmei rode well, Little Lion did not. I was pedalling so hard the chain broke. My heart sank. That was a bad sign. Did it mean that now we would not grow old together? The broken chain lay on the road like a dead snake. I picked it up and looked around. We were surrounded by cornfields where women were spraying insecticide. The spraying machines hummed like air raid sirens. The women had draped plastic over their shoulders and were wearing hospital masks over their mouths and bandanas on their heads. It was brutally hard work, but the green mist rising above the cornstalks invested it with an almost poetic air. I thought about Wang Renmei. She’d been fearless. Unafraid even of snakes, she’d pick them up by their tails, much the same way I’d picked up the bicycle chain. She’d also sprayed insecticide after being dismissed from the school in the wake of her breakup with Xiao Xiachun. Her hair had reeked of insecticide. I don’t have to wash it, she’d joked, since it’ll ward off fleas and mosquitoes. But she did wash it, and I stood behind her and poured water over her head; she laughed the whole time. I asked what she was laughing about, which made her laugh so hard she knocked over the washbasin. I couldn’t help but feel guilty as I thought about Renmei. I looked at Little Lion out of the corner of my eye. She was wearing a new, red-checked short-sleeve shirt with a turned-up collar and a glistening digital watch on her wrist. She was full-figured. She’d powdered her face with fragrant Pearl or another brand of face powder, which lessened the effects of acne.

We’re still three li from the commune. I’ll have to walk the bicycle.

We met Chen Bi outside the slaughterhouse gate. He was carrying Chen Er on his back.

He blanched when he spotted us. The look in his eyes made me ashamed. He turned his back on us.

Chen Bi! I decided to greet him.

Oh, I thought it was some big shot, he replied with biting sarcasm. He glared hatefully at Little Lion.

They let you out, did they?

The girl’s sick, she has a fever, he said. To be honest, I didn’t want to leave. The food inside was so good I could spend my life there.

Little Lion went up to feel Chen Er’s forehead.

Chen Bi spun away.

Take her to the hospital for an IV, Little Lion said. Her temperature must be at least thirty-nine degrees.

Is that a hospital you’re running? Chen Bi fumed. Or an abattoir?

I know you hate us, Little Lion said, but there’s nothing we can do.

Nothing you can do? There’s plenty you can do.

Chen Bi, I said, don’t use your child to vent your anger. Come on, I’ll go with you.

Thanks, pal, he said with a sneer, but I don’t want to keep you from whatever it is you’re doing.

Chen Bi… what can I say?

You don’t have to say anything. I used to think you were a good guy, but now I know you’re not.

Say what you like, I said as I stuffed some bills into his pocket. Now take her to the hospital.

Chen reached in, took out the money, and flung it to the ground. This is blood money!

He turned and walked off proudly with his daughter.

I gazed blankly at his back as he strode off. I bent down, picked up the money, and put it back in my pocket.

He’s prejudiced against you both, I said.

He has only himself to blame, Little Lion said indignantly. Who can we pour our bitterness out to?

I was supposed to have had a letter from my unit to register for marriage, but Lu Mazi, the civil administration clerk laughed and said, No need for that. Your aunt has already talked to us. Wan Xiaopao, my son is a soldier in your unit, he said. He enlisted last year. He’s a smart boy and is quick to learn. Keep an eye on him for me, okay?

I paused when I was about to put my fingerprint in the marriage register, because I was reminded of having done the same thing with Wang Renmei in the same register in the same room with the same Lu Mazi. I’d left a bright red print in the book. Ah! Renmei said, showing her happy surprise. It’s a whorl!

Lu Mazi looked at me, then at Little Lion and said with a phoney smile, Wan Zu, you’re a lucky man. You’ve managed to marry the commune’s number one beauty. He pointed to the registry. Put your finger here. What are you waiting for?

Lu Mazi’s comments sounded a lot like ridicule — in essence, that’s what they were — Damn it, to hell with him. Okay, no more stalling! Life is short, I said to myself, and many things are determined by fate. Better to row with the flow than against it. Besides, things are too far along for me not to do it. What would that do to Little Lion? I’ve already ruined one woman’s life; I can’t ruin another’s.

6

At the time I was under the impression that Gugu was so caught up in arranging the wedding that she’d forgotten about Wang Dan. I’d thought she might have relented a bit and would use the wedding as an excuse to let enough time to pass for Wang Dan to have her baby. I’d soon realise, though, that Gugu’s sense of loyalty to her work had taken on maniacal proportions. She was obsessed with carrying out her tasks. I had no reason to doubt her good faith in bringing Little Lion and me together, for she was convinced that we were meant to be a couple. But her extravagant preparations for our wedding, her release of Chen Bi and his daughter from detention, and her announcement that the villagers no longer had to search for Wang Dan were all part of a smokescreen designed to lessen the vigilance of Wang Dan and whoever was hiding her. For Gugu it was a two-birds-with-one-stone strategy. What she hoped to achieve was to see a follower who was like her own daughter be married to her nephew and have a place to call home, and, at the same time, for Wang Dan to be taken into custody and the criminal foetus in her belly taken out and destroyed before it was too late. Using this sort of language to describe Gugu’s work may seem inappropriate, but I can’t come up with anything better.

On the morning before the wedding ceremony, I went to Mother’s grave, as custom dictated, to burn some ‘happy money’; ostensibly, I guess, to notify her spirit and invite her to the ceremony. After I lit the paper, a tiny whirlwind rose up and carried the ash in circles around the head of the grave. Of course I knew this was easily explained by laws of physics, but it unnerved me nonetheless. Mother’s tottering image floated in my head and her wise, simple, meaningful words rang in my ears. Tears filled my eyes. I wondered what she would think about this marriage if she could talk.

The whirlwind abruptly left Mother’s gravesite and moved over to the grassy area at the head of Renmei’s grave. At that moment an oriole in a peach tree released a long cheerless call that nearly tore my insides apart. Peaches had ripened on the vast grove of trees; the two gravesites were in our family grove. I picked two red-tipped peaches, laid one before Mother’s grave and threaded my way through the trees to Renmei’s grave with the other. As I was leaving the house, Father said, Don’t forget to burn some paper for her too.

I haven’t had time yet, Renmei, I said silently, and I’m so sorry. But I won’t forget you, I’ll remember all the good things about you. Little Lion is a good person who will take good care of Yanyan. I won’t stay with her if she doesn’t.

After burning some paper at the head of her grave, I went up, laid down a sheet of paper, weighted it down, and set the second peach on it. Renmei, I said silently, though I know you are unhappy, I ask you with all my heart to come to my wedding with Mother. I’ll put four steamed buns, some dishes of food, and that treat you thought at first had a medicinal taste, but then got addicted to — chocolate with liquor in the middle — on the altar table in the central room. The dead deserve our respect. Please enjoy the food!

On my way home from the graveyard, the path was lined with knee-high weeds; rainwater filled the ditches. Pear groves stretched south all the way to the Black Water River and west to the Jiao River. Growers were picking the ripe fruit, as three-wheeled tractors moved quickly down the broad road.

Wang Gan appeared in front of me, blocking my way, as if he’d popped out of the ground. He was standing there in a military uniform that was neither new nor old — the thought struck me that it was the uniform I’d given him the year before — and a fresh haircut. He was clean-shaven. Though slim as ever, he seemed especially energetic, having done away with his old slovenly look. His spirited appearance was comforting, though I couldn’t shake an uneasy feeling.

Wang Gan… I tell you, in fact…

Wang Gan held his hands out and smiled, exposing his yellowed teeth. Xiaopao, he said, you don’t have to explain, I understand, I really do, and I congratulate you both.

Old friend… all sorts of thoughts crammed my mind. I reached out to shake his hand.

He took a step backward. I’ve awakened from a dream. What they call love is really a sickness, and I’ve been cured of mine.

That’s great. Truth is, you and Little Lion weren’t a good match. All you have to do is pull yourself together and you can accomplish something big. And when that happens, you’ll be able to choose an even more outstanding girl.

I’m a worthless man, and I owe you an apology. Did you see the ashes on Wang Renmei’s grave? I’m the one who burned spirit paper for her. If I hadn’t reported her, Yuan Sai wouldn’t be in prison and your wife and baby would still be alive. I’m a murderer.

You’re not to blame for any of that, I said.

I wanted to make myself feel better with some grand justification, like ‘reporting an illegal pregnancy is the responsibility of all citizens’ or ‘it’s all right to sacrifice family for the motherland’, but they didn’t make me feel better at all. I wasn’t enlightened; I did it for my own selfish desires, in order to win Little Lion’s heart. Because of that I developed terrible insomnia, and the minute I shut my eyes I could see Renmei coming with bloody hands to gouge out my heart… I don’t think I have many days to live…

You’re thinking too much, Wang Gan, I said. You did nothing wrong. You’re not superstitious, so you know that when a person dies, that’s the end of it. But even if a person’s spirit lived on, Renmei would not hound you. She was a good woman of pure heart.

She absolutely was a good woman, Wang Gan agreed. And that makes me feel even worse. Don’t waste your sympathy on me, Xiaopao, and I don’t deserve to be forgiven. I’ve been waiting for you today to ask a favour…

What is it, my friend?

Please have Little Lion tell Gugu that when Wang Dan climbed out of the well that day, she came straight to my house. She is, after all, my sister, and when she begged me to save her life and that of the child in her belly, even if I had a heart as cold and hard as steel, I couldn’t help but be moved. I put her in a manure basket and covered her with dry wheat stalks and a hempen sack. Then I tied the basket to the back of my bicycle and rode out of the village. I was stopped and questioned by your aunt’s hidden sentry, Qin He, at the head of the village. Your aunt really was born at the wrong time and engaged in the wrong occupation. She’d have been better suited to leading troops into battle. Of all the people I could have encountered, Qin He, your aunt’s running dog, was the worst. I was willing to give up anyone for Little Lion, and he was ready to do the same for your aunt. He stopped me and asked where I was going. We’d seen each other in front of the hospital many times but had never exchanged a word; and yet, I could tell that he viewed me as a friend, since we suffered from the same malady. I’d come to his aid when he’d run afoul of Gao Men and Lu Huahua outside the Supply and Marketing Co-op restaurant. Gao, Lu, Qin, Wang — he was the Qin, I was the Wang — Northeast Gaomi Township’s four morons came together on the street that day and put on a monkey show for the bystanders. You may not know it, my friend, but when someone is called a fool, even when he isn’t one, it’s amazingly liberating. I got down off my bicycle and stared at Qin He.

You must be going to market to sell a pig.

That’s right, a pig.

I didn’t see a thing.

He let me go. Two morons were of one mind.

Please tell Little Lion that I rode my sister to Jiaozhou and put her on a highway bus to Yantai, where she was to buy a ticket for a boat to Dalian, and from there take a train to Harbin. I’m sure you know that Chen’s mother was from Harbin, and he has relatives there. She took plenty of money with her, and she’s very smart. You know how clever Chen Bi is. They had this all planned ahead of time. It’s been thirteen days, and Wang Dan has gotten to where she was going. Your aunt’s hand isn’t big enough to cover the heavens. She can have her way with things at the commune, but not in the rest of the world. My sister is seven months pregnant, so by the time your aunt finds her, the child will already have arrived. So your aunt can give up on this one.

Then why do you want me to tell them?

It’s the only way I can gain salvation, and the only thing I can ask of you.

All right, I said.

7

I really am a weak-willed person.

After marrying Little Lion, I should have lit a red candle and sat alone in front of it till daybreak as a means of expressing my remorse to Renmei and letting her know I missed her. But I only sat there till midnight before going to bed and embracing Little Lion.

It had rained heavily the day I married Renmei; a downpour also struck on the day I married Little Lion. Lightning crackled with blinding blue-white streaks, followed by deafening thunder and a cloudburst. The sound of sluicing water came from all directions; wet winds carrying the smell of mud and the stink of rotten fruit poured into the house through the windows. The candle sputtered briefly and then went out. That struck fear into me. A bolt of lightning lit up the sky for several seconds, time enough for me to see the bright lights in Little Lion’s eyes. It turned her face a golden yellow. The blast of thunder sounded as if it were out in our yard and carried a scorched odour into the house. Little Lion cried out in fear and I held her in my arms.

I’d thought that Little Lion was hard as wood, never imagining that she could be as soft as a papaya. A full, round papaya from which juice oozes at the lightest touch. She had the texture of papaya and the same rich aroma. It would have been unfair to compare the new with the old, so I forced myself to keep my thoughts from getting away from me. But failed. When Little Lion and my bodies came together, so did our hearts.

Little Lion, I said shamelessly, in my eyes you and I make a better couple than Renmei and I did.

She covered my mouth with her hand. Some things ought not to be said.

Wang Gan asked me to tell you that thirteen days ago he rode Wang Dan to Jiaozhou, where she took a highway bus to Yantai, and from there went to the northeast.

Little Lion sat up. Another bolt of lightning lit up her face, which had turned from a look of passion to one that was sombre, even cold. She wrapped her arms around me and lay back down. He lied to you, she whispered. Wang Dan could not have gotten away like that.

Then, I said, does that mean you’re letting her go?

That’s not for me to say. It’s up to Gugu.

Is that what she has in mind?

I doubt it, she said. If that’s what she had in mind, she wouldn’t be Gugu.

Then why haven’t you taken any action? Don’t you know she’s already more than seven months along?

Gugu didn’t pass on taking action. She has her people quietly making inquiries.

Have you found her?

Well… she hesitated briefly, then rested her head against my chest. I can’t hide anything from you. She’s in Yanyan’s maternal grandmother’s house, in the same hole Wang Renmei hid in.

What do you plan to do?

Whatever Gugu wants me to do.

What does she plan to do? The same as before?

She’s not that dumb.

So then what?

Gugu has already had someone inform Chen Bi that we know where Wang Dan is hiding and that he is to tell the Wangs that if they don’t send her out, the tractor will come tomorrow and pull down their house as well as those of her neighbours.

Yanyan’s grandfather is a stubborn man. Will you really do that if he stands his ground?

Gugu’s idea isn’t to get the Wangs to send her out, but for Chen Bi to go in and bring her out. She promised him that all his property will be returned if he brings her out so the pregnancy can be terminated. Thirty-eight thousand yuan is a good reason to do as she says.

I heaved a long sigh. Why are you people so ruthless? Isn’t killing Wang Renmei enough?

Wang Renmei had only herself to blame, Little Lion said coldly.

It seemed to me that her body suddenly went cold.

8

For days on end it was cloudy and drizzly; the roads were disrupted, keeping the buyers of our local peaches from getting through. Every family had picked fruit. Some went into baskets that piled up like a little mountain, keeping the rain off with plastic cloths, some were just stacked willy-nilly in the yard so the rain could do its damage. Peaches do not keep well; in previous years, the trucks had driven right into the groves, where the fruit was picked, weighed and loaded straight onto the trucks. The drivers didn’t mind working all night so they could get on the road at first light and make deliveries many miles away. This year the heavens seemed to have decided to punish people who had enjoyed a succession of fine harvests by putting an end to clear days when the fruit ripened. With a series of heavy rains, moderate rains and drizzles, if the people chose not to pick the fruit, it rotted on the trees. If they did pick it, there was a glimmer of hope in waiting for the skies to clear, so the trucks could drive in and load up. But there were no signs of clearing on this day.

Our family only had thirty trees. Because Father was getting old, the trees were not well tended, yet they produced a modest harvest of nearly six thousand jin. We only filled sixteen baskets, due to a shortage of baskets, which we stored in a side room. The rest we simply laid out in the yard and covered with plastic cloth. Father kept going out in the rain to lift a corner of the cloth and check the peaches. And each time the cloth was raised our noses were hit by the smell of rotting fruit.

As Little Lion and I were newly married, my daughter stayed with Father. She ran after him every time he went out into the rain, carrying a little umbrella with animals printed on it.

She treated us with cool courtesy. She held her hands behind her back when Little Lion offered her sweets, but said, Thank you, Gugu.

Call her Mama, I said.

She glared at me, shocked.

She doesn’t have to, she doesn’t have to call me anything like that. People call me Little Lion — she pointed to the lion on her umbrella — so you can call me Big Lion.

Do you eat children? my daughter asked.

No, I don’t eat children, Little Lion answered her. I protect them.

Father brought in some overripe peaches in his conical hat and peeled them with a rusty knife. He sighed.

Might as well eat the good ones, I said.

But these are money, Father said. The heavens don’t care about us common folk.

Dad — this was the first time Little Lion had called him that, and it felt awkward — the government won’t just stand by. They’ll come up with something.

All the government knows is family planning, Father said with obvious resentment. Nothing else interests them.

The village committee loudspeaker sounded just then. Worried that he might miss something, Father ran into the yard to listen carefully.

The voice over the loudspeaker announced that the commune had made contacts in cities like Qingdao and Yantai, and that trucks had been sent to meet up at the Wu Family Bridge, some fifty li distant, to buy our peaches. The commune appealed to the people to deliver their peaches to the bridge by land and by water. The price would be less than half that of previous years, but it was better than letting them rot.

The village came to life as soon as the announcement ended. I knew that ours wasn’t the only village to be energised, that the whole township had come alive.

We had a river, but not many boats. Every production brigade had been supplied with small wooden boats, but no one could find them after they were contracted to individual farmers for production quotas.

There’s no disputing the fact that the masses possess enormous creative talent. Father ran over to the side building and took four large gourds down from the rafters, then picked up four pieces of timber, tied them together, and started building a raft. I took off my pants and shirt, and stood there in my underwear and a vest to give him a hand. Little Lion held an umbrella over me to keep me as dry as possible. My daughter was running around the yard with her little umbrella. I gave Little Lion a sign to hold the umbrella over Father, but he waved her off. He had draped a sheet of plastic over his shoulders and was hatless. A mixture of rain and sweat ran down his face. Old-time farmers like my father give their work their full attention; whatever they put their hand to, it is done accurately and powerfully, with no superfluous effort. The raft was swiftly completed.

The riverbank was a flurry of activity by the time we reached it with our raft. All those missing boats had miraculously reappeared. Dozens of rafts had been put in the water along with the boats. The rafts were fitted with gourds, inner tubes, and Styrofoam. Someone had even shown up with a large wooden basin. People were pouring out of the lanes with baskets of peaches, heading for the boats and rafts all tied to willow trees on the bank.

Dozens of draft animals were lined up on the riverbank, including mules and donkeys that were loaded down with full saddlebag baskets.

A commune cadre swam over and put on a raincoat, rolled up his pant cuffs, and held his sandals in his hand as he shouted instructions.

I saw a raft in front of ours that was a thing of beauty. Four thick China fir poles were tied together with rawhide into a tic-tac-toe grid. The centre was constructed of logs as thick as scythe handles, with four red, fully inflated inner tubes from a horse-drawn wagon. A dozen or more full baskets barely had any effect on the raft, testimony to the high quality flotation of the inner tubes. Vertical poles — one in each corner and a fifth in the centre — supported a light blue plastic tarpaulin as protection against both sunlight and rain. It was not the sort of raft that could be thrown together in a hurry.

Wang Jiao in a conical palm bark hat and a palm bark cape crouched in front of the raft like a fisherman.

Our raft, which could only hold six baskets, sat deep in the water. Father insisted on adding two more. All right, I said, but I’ll go alone. You stay here.

He objected, probably out of concern that it was only my second day in the new marriage. Don’t argue, Dad. Look out there and tell me if you see anyone else your age punting a raft.

Then you be careful.

Don’t worry, I said. I may not be good at much, but I know what I’m doing on the water.

If it gets choppy, toss the peaches into the river, Father said.

Don’t worry about that.

I waved to Little Lion on the riverbank, where she was holding Yanyan’s hand.

She waved back.

Father untied the rope around the tree and tossed it to me.

I caught it, rolled it up, picked up my pole, and shoved off; the heavy raft moved slowly out onto the river.

Careful!

Be careful!

I punted fairly close to the riverbank, moving slowly.

The mules and donkeys kept pace with the water traffic, their loads weighing heavily on them, bells that had been draped around their necks by fastidious household heads ringing out crisply. Old folks and youngsters followed the burdened animals up to the head of the village.

There the river made a sharp bend and the flotilla entered a rapid flow. Instead of letting the current carry him forward, Wang Jiao, whose raft had been ahead of me, punted to the opposite bank at the bend, where the water was calmer, and the brush-covered bank was home to chirping cicadas. From the moment I saw his fancy raft, I’d had a bad feeling, and I was right to. Wang Jiao abruptly dumped his baskets into the water, where they floated lightly. They contained no peaches. He moved up close to the brush, where I saw Chen Bi jump onto the raft with his pregnant wife in his arms. Wang Gan followed, with Chen Er in his arms.

They quickly took down the plastic cloth canopy and turned it into a curtain as Wang Jiao picked up his punting pole and recaptured his glory days standing on the shafts of his cart and snapping a whip at his team, as impressive as ever. He stood straight and tall, proving that Gugu knew what she was talking about when she said his hobble and stooped carriage were all an act. And he’d only pretended to sever ties with his son, since at this critical moment they stormed the battlefield together. That aside, I instinctively wished them well, hoping they’d be able to deliver Wang Dan to wherever they planned to take her. Of course, when I thought about all that Gugu had invested in this affair, my sympathy rang somewhat hollow.

Wang Jiao’s raft floated high and light on the water despite the weight of his load, and he outpaced the rest of us with ease.

Small wooden boats and rafts entered the water from both banks all along the river. By the time we reached Dongfeng Village, where Gugu’s head had been clubbed bloody, hundreds of rafts and boats had formed a long dragon in the heart of the river sailing along with the flow.

I couldn’t keep my eye off of Wang Jiao’s raft, which, although it was far ahead of the rest of us, was still within sight.

His was the proudest raft on the river, not doubt about that. It was like a Hummer Predator in a line of ordinary sedans.

More than proud, it was mysterious. People who had witnessed what happened at the bend in the river obviously knew the identities of the secret passengers. People who hadn’t, cocked their heads to get a glimpse behind the curtain, because no matter what else it might be shielding, it assuredly was not peaches.

As I think back now, the sight of Gugu’s family-planning boat racing past us at full speed was indescribably thrilling. This was no longer the 1970 variety with its local-made motor. No, this was a white, streamlined speedboat with an acrylic windscreen on its semi-enclosed cabin. Once again Qin He piloted the boat, but he was now completely grey. Gugu and my bride, Little Lion, stood at the rear of the cabin, holding on to a railing, their clothes billowing in the wind. I viewed the sight of Little Lion’s rounded breasts with mixed emotions. Four men sat behind the two women. The boat nearly swamped my raft and the eddies it created caused me to pitch and roll. Little Lion had to see me as they sped close by, but she didn’t wave. The Little Lion of the few days after we were married had become a different person. A sense of unreality floated into my head; I felt as if I’d only dreamed the events of recent days. Little Lion’s display of indifference spurred me to root for the fugitives: Hurry and get away, Wang Dan. Pole harder, Wang Jiao.

The speedboat cut through the flotilla on its way towards Wang Jiao’s raft, ahead and to the right.

Instead of passing Wang Jiao, Gugu pulled up alongside and slowed until the sound of the engine virtually died out. No more than three metres separated the two craft. The speedboat gradually closed the gap, obviously in an attempt to force the raft to the riverbank. Wang Jiao stuck his pole against the side of the speedboat, thinking that would decrease the danger. But it had the opposite effect, pushing the raft farther out of the flow.

A man on the boat caught the plastic cloth with a pole functioning as a gaff and tore it with a loud ripping noise. A couple more twists brought everything that had been hidden into full view.

Wang Jiao swung his pole at the man on the boat, who warded off the blow with his pole. Wang Gan and Chen Bi picked up oars and began rowing for all they were worth, one on each side of the raft. Sitting between them was the pocket-sized Wang Dan, holding Chen Er in her left arm, the baby’s head tucked into her armpit, and covering her rounded abdomen with the right. Her shrill cries broke through the din of battling poles and crashing waves: Gugu, have some mercy and let us go!

As the raft opened up space between it and the speedboat, Little Lion jumped in the direction of the raft but landed in the water. She did not know how to swim and began to sink almost immediately. Gugu shouted for someone to save her. Chen Bi and Wang Gan jumped at the chance to row with all their might, moving the raft out into the flow.

Rescuing Little Lion took a long time. The man with the pole reached out to bring her close to the side, but she grabbed his leg and pulled him into the water with her. He was a weak swimmer, so another man jumped in. Meanwhile, Qin He’s piloting skills had seemed to vanish, to which Gugu reacted with rage. No one on the other boats or rafts was willing to come to their aid. But Little Lion was, after all, my wife, so I poled with all my might to get as close as possible. I nearly collided with a raft behind me and barely managed to keep from tipping over. Little Lion’s head was surfacing less and less frequently, so I knew it was time to act. Abandoning the raft and the pole, I jumped into the river and swam as fast as I could to rescue my wife.

A question mark had risen in my mind at the moment she jumped into the river. Afterward, she boasted that she had detected the sacred smell of blood from a birthing woman and saw blood running down Wang Dan’s leg. So she jumped — there is, of course, another explanation — a delaying tactic, risking drowning to buy time. She said she’d prayed to the river spirit: Wang Dan, hurry up and have your baby! Do it now! Once it’s out in the world, it’s a human life, a citizen of the People’s Republic of China, protected as a flower of the motherland. Children are the nation’s future. Of course, she added, my little trick didn’t work on Gugu. She knew what I was doing from the get-go.

By the time we fished Little Lion and the family-planning cadre out of the river, Wang Jiao’s raft had travelled at least three li. To top it off, the speedboat’s engine had died, and Qin He dripped with sweat as he tried to restart it. Gugu flew into a rage. Little Lion and the waterlogged man were lying just inside the handrail, heads over the side, puking water.

Gugu jumped around furiously for a moment, but then abruptly grew calm. A sad smile creased her face, which was illuminated by a ray of sunlight that had broken through the cloud cover; it also lit up the turgid surface of the river and painted her with the look of an ill-fated hero. She sat down on the deck next to the cabin and said to Qin He, You can quit acting. All of you.

Qin He froze for a moment. Then he started the engine and the boat sped after Wang Jiao’s raft.

As I thumped Little Lion’s back I sneaked a look at Gugu, who lowered her eyes one moment and smiled the next. I wondered what was going through her mind. She was forty-seven years old, and it suddenly dawned on me that her youth was far behind her, that she was well into her middle years. And yet her weatherworn face had the sad look of someone much older. I thought back to all those times my now departed mother had said to me: What is a woman born to do? When all is said and done, a woman is born to have children. A woman’s status is determined by the children she bears, as are the dignity she enjoys and the happiness and glory she accrues. Not having children is a woman’s greatest torment. A woman without children is something less than whole, and she grows hard-hearted; a woman without children ages faster. Mother had Gugu in mind when she said that, but she’d never have said it in front of Gugu. Was Gugu getting old so fast because she was childless? At forty-seven, if she did find a husband, was a child even possible? And where was the man who might be that husband?

The speedboat easily caught up with Wang Jiao’s raft, and as they drew near, Qin He slowed to nudge up close.

Wang Jiao stood at the back of his raft, pole in hand, ferocity written on his face as he took a fighting stance.

Wang Gan sat up front with Chen Er in his arms.

Chen Bi sat in the middle, holding Wang Dan in his arms, alternately crying and laughing. Wang Dan, he was shouting, have the baby, have it now. Have it and it’s a living human being. Have it and they won’t hound us any more. Wan Xin, Little Lion, you’ve lost. Ha-ha, you’ve lost!

Tears streaked the man’s stubbled face.

The air was split by Wang Dan’s screech, a terrifying, gut-wrenching cry.

The speedboat was right next to the raft. Gugu stood up and reached out her hand.

Chen Bi whipped out his knife and growled menacingly, Take that fiendish hand back.

This isn’t the hand of a fiend, it’s the hand of an obstetrician.

As my nose smarted, I suddenly realised what was happening. Chen Bi, I shouted, take Gugu aboard and let her deliver Wang Dan’s baby!

I hooked his raft with my pole to let Gugu shift her stout frame over.

Little Lion jumped aboard after her, medical kit in her hand.

When they took out a pair of scissors and slit open Wang Dan’s bloody trousers, I turned around, though I held on tightly to the pole behind me to keep the raft and speedboat from separating.

An image of Wang Dan floated into my head: she lies on the raft, her lower body blood-soaked, a tiny body with a big belly, looking like an angry, frightened dolphin.

The river roiled, day and night. The clouds parted, freeing the sun to send down bolts of light. The flotilla of rafts and boats rode downriver with its loads of peaches. My raft, now pilotless, actually followed the flow of water with them.

I was hoping expectantly, hoping amid the sound of Wang Dan’s shrieks, hoping amid the pounding of the surf, and hoping amid the braying of animals on the bank.

A baby’s first cries came on the air.

I spun around and saw Gugu holding a newborn, early-arriving baby in both hands. Little Lion was wrapping gauze around its middle.

Another girl, Gugu said.

Chen Bi, head down, was devastated, like a deflated tyre. He pounded his head with both fists. The heavens have abandoned me… The agony he felt was unmistakable. The heavens have abandoned me… five generations of the Chen family will end with me. I can’t believe it!

What a scumbag you are! Gugu cursed him.

Even though Gugu sped Wang Dan and the baby back up the river in her speedboat, the mother could not be saved.

According to Little Lion, Wang Dan rallied just before she died, her mind clear for a brief spell. She had lost so much blood her face was like a sheet of gold foil. With a smile on her face, she mumbled something to Gugu, who bent down to hear what she was trying to say. Little Lion told me she did not hear what was said, but Gugu did. The gold pallor on Wang Dan’s face faded to grey, her eyes were opened wide, though the radiance was gone. Her curled body looked like an emptied sack or a cast-off cocoon. Gugu sat beside Wan Dan’s lifeless body, her head hanging low. A long time passed before she stood up, heaved a long sigh, and said, either to Little Lion or to herself: What was all that for?

Gugu and Little Lion cared for Wang Dan’s baby, Chen Mei, until she was out of danger and healthy enough to go on living.