Hard Candy

23

I MET MICHELLE in Bryant Park, next to the Public Library right off Times Square.

"I'm going away for a while," she said.

"Okay."

"To Denmark, Burke. I'm going to have it done."

"You got enough cash?"

"Yes. I've been saving for a long time. You impressed?"

I nodded.

"It has to be. I'm not having my boy grow up an outlaw, Burke."

"You're going to take him from the Mole?"

"I wouldn't do that. He's ours, not just mine. I know that. But that's no life for him. I want him to be something."

"The Mole's something."

Her hand on my forearm, lacquered nails shining in the late autumn sun. "I know, baby."

I lit a cigarette.

"I won't be any different," she said.

"I know."

"But you are."

I didn't say anything.

"You don't want me to go, say the word."

"Go."

"You can get me the papers?"

"A passport?"

"And… later…I want to adopt Terry. Make it legal."

"Why?"

"Why? You know what I am. Trapped all my life in this body. I can change that. Be myself. The boy…I don't want him to grow up like…"

"Like me?"

"I love you, Burke. You know that. I'd never walk away from you." She kissed my cheek, walked away.