Heat

Chapter 35

Jesse gulped. “I went outside for a while,” he said. “What are you doing up at this time of night?”

“I had to go to the bathroom, and you weren’t in bed. I was frantic.”

“There’s no need to be upset,” he said soothingly, taking her in his arms. “I just couldn’t sleep, and I thought some fresh air might do me good.”

She pushed away. “But what were you doing in the garage? I was at the kitchen window, and I saw you come out of there.”

“I was looking for my spare key to the truck, and I thought it might be in the glove compartment.”

“It’s upstairs in that little tray where you keep change and things,” she said.

“Oh. I don’t know why that crossed my mind, it just did.”

“Jesse, is something wrong? Is there something I should know about?”

He put a hand on her cheek. “No, of course not; everything’s fine. I couldn’t imagine things being any finer.”

She stepped closer and looked up at him. “Jesse, do you love me?”

“Of course I do; haven’t I told you often enough?” He put his arms around her again.

“Sure, after making love. But I want to know if you love me all the time.”

He turned her face up. “All the time,” he said. “At the dinner table, at the breakfast table, at work, in bed — everywhere, all the time.”

She relaxed in his arms. “Oh, I’m so glad to hear that.”

“I can’t believe you doubted it,” he said, rubbing her neck.

“Maybe it’s going to be all right after all,” she said, sighing.

“It’s going to be all right. I’ll make it all right.”

“Do we have a future together?” she asked.

“I certainly hope so. That’s what I’m counting on.”

“Because, if we don’t, I’ll just make a trip to Spokane and take care of it there. I won’t do it their way any more.”

“Jenny, sweetheart, I don’t have the faintest idea what you’re talking about. What’s this about Spokane?”

“Well, they’ve got a clinic there that hasn’t been bombed yet.”

He held her at arm’s length and looked at her closely. “What do you—”

“I’m pregnant,” she said. “I’m going to have your baby.”

He pulled her to him again so that she wouldn’t see his face. God in heaven, he thought, what have I gotten this girl into? “How long have you known?” he asked.

“I guessed a few days ago. This afternoon I used one of those home pregnancy tests.”

“And it was positive?”

“It was positive. Jesse, is this all right? Do you want this baby?”

He tried to quell the panic inside him. What was he going to do? Here he was, undercover, his life in danger at every moment, Jack Gene Coldwater waiting for him in one direction, the federal government and its prison system waiting in the other. Was he going to get this girl killed or just banished from her community? “Yes,” he heard himself saying, and he knew it was true. “Yes, I want this baby and you and Carey. I want to take care of you all forever. Let’s get married tomorrow, Jenny, or as soon as it can be done in this state. Will you marry me?”

“Oh, yes, yes!” she cried, then began sobbing.

He stroked her hair, said soothing words, held her close and after a while she stopped crying. “I’m sorry I doubted you, Jesse; I should have known you would make it right; I should have trusted you.”

“Trust me now and from here on,” he said. “I promise I’ll never let you down.” It was a promise he knew he might not be able to keep, but he was goddamned well going to try.

“I will trust you,” she said. “I’ll never keep anything from you again.”

“You should have told me when you first suspected,” he said.

“That’s not what I mean,” she replied, and started to cry again.

The birth certificate, he thought. She wasn’t married to Carey’s father and the secret must have been eating at her. “Don’t worry,” he said. “And don’t talk about it now. You’re exhausted.” He took her hand and led her toward the stairs. “Let’s get some sleep.”

Upstairs, she snuggled next to him, and he wiped away her tears. “Sleep,” he said. “Tomorrow’s Christmas Day, and we’ll have a wonderful time with Carey. Don’t think about anything else for now.”

“All right,” she said, moving closer.

I won’t think about anything now, either, he thought. I’ll sleep, and when I wake up I’ll have an answer for us. He had a question of his own, too.

In the middle of the night he got out of bed, tiptoed across the room then crossed the hall and entered Jenny’s bedroom. In her bathroom he silently opened the medicine chest and found what he was looking for. Only three of the birth-control pills had been removed since he had delivered the package, and that had been more than a month before.

Jesse replaced the pills in the medicine chest and padded back across the hall. He did not sleep again that Christmas Eve night; he was wide awake when Carey came to tug them from bed.