Eleven

Duncan hadn’t been mind-numbingly drunk in years. Probably not since college, when he’d been young and stupid. Now he was older, but apparently just as stupid. He’d avoided work, blown off the last of the holiday parties and had holed up in his condo for three days. Now, hungover, dehydrated and feeling like something that had been dead for a month, he forced himself to shower and get dressed before stumbling into the kitchen and making coffee.

He’d lost before. His first three fights had been a disaster. He’d barely gotten in a single punch. His coach had told him to go find another sport. Maybe baseball, where the only thing that could hit him was the ball. But he hadn’t given up and by his senior year of high school, half a dozen colleges were offering him a free ride.

Taking over the family business hadn’t been easy, either. He’d screwed up dozens of times, losing opportunities because of his youth and inexperience. But he’d persevered and now he had it all. But nothing in his life had prepared him for losing Annie.

Her words haunted him. “The man I love can see into my heart and my soul. He knows who I am. And that’s not you.” He would have preferred her to take out a gun and shoot him. The recovery would have been easier. Or at least faster.

He told himself that the bottom line was she’d left. She’d walked out. Telling him she loved him first only added a level of drama. He should respect that. And he could. The problem was he couldn’t believe it. Annie didn’t play games.

His doorbell rang. His head screamed at the sound. He made his way to the door and pulled it open. Valentina stood there, holding a package.

“This came for you,” she said, handing over the flat box. “I told your doorman I’d bring it up myself.”

She stepped into the condo and looked around. “It looks great, Duncan. I wish you’d kept our old place, though. There was so much room. Still, we can buy something else. Maybe a house, this time.” She moved toward him and lightly kissed him. “How are you? Your assistant said you hadn’t been feeling well. You’re really pale.”

He recognized Annie’s neat writing on the package. As much as he wanted to open it, he wouldn’t until he was alone. He set it on the dining room table, then returned to the kitchen. The coffee was ready.

He poured a cup and took a long drink. When he felt the heated liquid hit his belly, he turned back to face his ex-wife.

Valentina had dressed in winter-white. From her suede boots to her fuzzy sweater, she was a vision of sexual elegance. The woman knew how to wear clothes, he thought. And take them off for anyone interested.

“Why are you here?” he asked, taking another swallow.

“I want to talk to you, Duncan. About us. I meant what I said. I still love you. I want a second chance.”

He looked her up and down. She was still preternaturally an ice queen if there ever was one. At one time she’d been all he’d wanted.

“And if I said I needed to test-drive the merchandise before I made a decision?” he asked.

She smiled. “Anytime.”

“Kids?” She’d never wanted children. Too messy and she ran the risk of screwing up her figure.

“Of course.” She tilted her head. “And a dog. Please. You can’t have children without having pets. They need to learn about responsibility.”

“The kids or the dog?” He reached for his coffee. “Never mind. You’re serious about this?”

“Yes, Duncan. I still love you and am willing to do anything to prove that.”

Uh-huh. “Including signing a prenup? One that gives you absolutely no part of my business or personal fortune. Now or in the future? You wouldn’t get a penny, Valentina. Ever.”

He would guess that Botox shots kept her from frowning, but there was no mistaking the tightening of her mouth or the stiffening of her body.

“Duncan,” she began, then sighed. “Shit.”

He wasn’t even surprised. “So it is about the money.”

“In part,” she admitted. “And proving a point. Eric left me. Me. I was going to end things, but he beat me to it, the bastard. I wanted to prove a point. Show him what he’d lost.”

Pride, he thought. He could respect that.

“Sorry I can’t help,” he said.

“Are you pissed?”

“More relieved.”

“Excuse me?” she said, walking to the coffee and pouring herself a mug. “You would be nowhere without me. I took a rough, ill-mannered street kid and turned him into a gentleman.”

“You screwed my business partner, on my desk.”

“I know. I’m sorry about that.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“But it was still tacky. I am sorry.” She looked at him. “You look good. I mean that. You’ve come a long way.”

They talked for a few more minutes, then Valentina left. Duncan closed the door behind her, relieved to have her out of his life. This time for good. Then he crossed to the table and opened the package from Annie.

Inside was a painting of two boxers. He knew the artist, had a larger piece of his work in his study.

There was a note inside. No, a Christmas card.

This made me think of you.

Duncan studied the masterful work and could guess the approximate price she’d paid. It was a whole lot more than she could afford. Why would she have done this? He checked the date. She’d had it shipped after she’d ended things. Who did that? What was she playing at?

He didn’t have any answers, a circumstance he didn’t like. He wanted his life simple-predictable. But Annie was anything but. She demanded too much. She wanted him to do the right thing, to be a better man. She wanted him to love her back.

Back. Meaning he believed she loved him in the first place? And if he did, what was he doing, letting her get away?

“Very upscale,” Annie said, hoping it sounded more like a tease than nervousness. She sat across from Tim in a comfortable wicker chair on a patio behind the rehabilitation housing where her brother was staying.

“It’s nice,” he said.

He sat across from her, relaxed and tanned, more calm than she’d seen him in years. This was the first Saturday visitors had been allowed. Annie had arrived right at ten and Tim had been waiting for her. So far their conversation had consisted of greetings and the weather.

She picked at the wicker on the arm of the chair, then glanced across the broad lawn. Judging from the uneasy body language she saw in the other visitors, she wasn’t the only one who didn’t know what to say.

“Are you…” she began.

Tim leaned toward her and smiled. “It’s okay. You did the right thing. I didn’t believe that until a few days ago, but now I know you were right. I needed help. I still need help.”

Relief rushed through her. She grabbed his hand and squeezed. “Yeah?”

He nodded. “I was chasing the dream, Annie. So sure that if I kept trying, I’d hit it big. It’s what you always say about kids who cheat in school. If they would put half the effort into studying, they’d get a good grade. But instead they want to play the system. I want to play the odds. The trouble is, the odds are never in my favor.”

“Which means what?” she asked.

“I have a gambling problem. I need to stay away from it. No blackjack, no Vegas, not even a raffle ticket. It’s going to take a while, but I’ll beat this, Annie.”

She stared into her brother’s blue eyes and felt relief. “I’m glad,” she whispered.

“Me, too.” He pulled free and shifted on his seat. “About what I said. I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

“I can’t believe I stole that money. What an idiot. I really appreciate the deal you made with my boss. Anyone else would have let me go to jail.”

“I couldn’t do that.”

“It’s what I deserved.”

“But not what you needed.”

“I know. I’ve been in touch with Mr. Patrick. He says I can have my job back.” Tim smiled self-consciously. “Sort of. I won’t have access to any of the bank accounts. I’ll have to earn his trust again, but I will. We worked out a payment plan for me to reimburse him.”

Tim had talked to Duncan? Annie wanted to ask how he was. She missed him more than she had ever imagined, and she’d known it would be bad.

“I’m glad,” she said.

“I want to pay you back, too,” Tim told her.

“You don’t owe me anything.”

“Sure I do. Look what you did for me, Annie.”

“I went to a bunch of parties. It wasn’t work.”

She’d also fallen in love and gotten her heart broken, but that wasn’t anything Tim needed to hear right now. She would tell him later, when he was stronger.

“I’ll make it up to you,” Tim promised.

“All I need is for you to get your life back together,” she said. “Be happy. That’s enough.”

Her brother stood and pulled her to her feet, then hugged her.

“You’re the best,” he said. “Thank you.”

She hung on, willing him to heal. Because if he was all right, then this had been worth it. As for herself, and the aching emptiness inside, there was nothing to be done except hope that eventually she, too, would find her way back.

Duncan walked into the crowded Westwood restaurant. The hostess smiled at him. “Sir, do you have a reservation?”

“No.”

“I’m sorry, we’re booked. It’s Christmas Eve and we’re only having service until seven.”

“I’m not here for dinner,” he told her, looking into the dining room. “I want to see one of your servers. Jenny.” He spotted her. “Never mind. There she is.”

“Sir, you can’t disturb our guests.”

Duncan forced himself to flash her a smile. “Don’t worry. I won’t.”

He wove through tables until he was next to Jenny. “We have to talk,” he told her.

She barely glanced at him. “No, we don’t.”

She headed for the kitchen. He followed, grabbing her arm before she could disappear behind the swinging doors.

The restaurant hummed with conversation. Christmas carols played over the speakers. In the kitchen came the call for more turkey, as waiters and cooks battled for space.

Jenny glared at him, her blue eyes so much like Annie’s. They were about the same height, too.

“I’ve been looking for her,” he said. “I’ve been everywhere I can think of. Jenny, you have to help me.”

The college student glared at him. “No way. You’re nothing but a soul-sucking bastard. Do you know she cries every night? She doesn’t want us to know, so she waits until she goes to bed. But we can hear her. She loved you and you hurt her.”

“I know. I let her go and I’ll regret that until the day I die. I was wrong. She’s amazing and beautiful and so much more than I deserve. I love her, Jenny. I swear, I just want to take care of her. So please, tell me where she is.”

Jenny hesitated, as if trying to decide.

“It’s Christmas,” he said. “A time for miracles. Can’t you believe that I’ve changed?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted.

He stared into Jenny’s eyes. “I love that she would sell her soul to save her brother. And when she’s really stressed, she goes for M &M’s. I love that she’s never quite mastered the art of walking in high heels, so sometimes she has to grab the wall to keep from stumbling. I love how she sees the best in everyone, even me, and believes that everything is possible.”

He cleared his throat. “I love how she let you and Julie and Kami live with her and that she would accept a new freezer because it would feed the three of you, but fought me on new tires that would keep just her safe. I love how she smiles at her students, how she worries about being a role model. I love how she takes care of the world. But who takes care of her? Who watches out for her and looks after her? Who takes over so she can rest? I want to be that guy, Jenny. I want to be the one.”

He stopped talking, only to realize the restaurant had gone quiet. He glanced around and saw everyone was staring, listening. A couple of the men looked embarrassed, but the women were all smiling and nodding.

Jenny drew in a breath. “I swear, if you hurt her again…”

“I won’t.” He pulled the jewelry box out of his jacket pocket. “I want to marry her.”

“Okay,” she breathed. “She’s at church. They called earlier and needed someone to help with the decorations. Apparently everyone has the flu and there’s a midnight service.” Jenny gave him the address. “Don’t screw this up,” she warned.

He kissed her cheek. “I won’t. I promise.”

Annie carried pots of poinsettias until her arms ached. When they were all in place, she adjusted the white lights, then plugged them in. The soft glow made the leaves seem to glisten. She’d already distributed the special booklets of Christmas carols, and attached beautiful sprays of roses and pine to the end of each pew. The candles were in place.

“You’ve done enough for twenty,” Mary Alice, the minister’s wife, told her. “Get along home, Annie. You need to rest a little or you’ll be nodding off during the midnight service.”

“All right. If you’re sure.”

“Thank you for answering my call for help. I hated to bother you, but I knew my old bones would keep me from getting everything done on time and Alistair is visiting with a member who’s in the hospital. Everyone else…” Mary Alice smiled. “You were a blessing. Thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome. See you soon.”

Annie turned to leave, telling herself she liked being able to help. And as everyone else had been busy in her family, it was a good thing she’d been home to receive the call. It was nearly Christmas. She refused to be sad. Or feel alone. She was lucky. Her brother was healing, her cousins were doing well. She had a great job and friends and so much to be thankful for. If there was an empty place inside, well, it would heal. By this time next year she would be her old self again.

She walked out a side door to the parking lot. It was already dark but still warm. This was going to be another Christmas with seventy-degree weather. One day she would spend the holidays where it was cold. A white Christmas. But for now, she would enjoy the fact that she didn’t even need a coat.

She headed for her car, but before she got there, someone moved out of the shadows. A man. Duncan.

She came to a stop. Her heart pounded hard and fast, her chest got tight. She wanted to cry and laugh and throw her arms around him. She’d missed him so much.

“Annie,” he said, then smiled at her.

And she knew. It was there in his warm gray eyes. The truth, the love. How he’d realized what was important, how he knew she was the one. Warmth and happiness flooded her. She felt as if she could float or even fly.

Without thinking, she threw herself at him. He caught her and pulled her against him, holding on as if he would never let go.

Home, she thought. She was finally home.

“Annie,” he said again. “I love you.”

“I know.”

He laughed. “You can’t know. I have a whole speech prepared. I have to tell you what I’ve learned and how I’ve changed and why you can trust me.”

He slowly lowered her to the ground. Her feet hit the pavement, but she didn’t let go. Instead she stared into his face, feeling the love spilling out of him.

“I already know all that.”

He touched her cheek. “Valentina was in it for the money. Not that it matters. I was never interested in being with anyone but you.”

“I want to say I’m sorry it didn’t work out, but I’m really not.” She laughed. “I guess that’s bad, huh?”

“No. I feel the same way. Do you want to hear the speech?”

“Maybe later.” Right now she just wanted to be with him, to feel him close and know that he loved her. This was perfect. She’d been given Duncan for Christmas.

“At least let me do this part.” He pulled a small box out of his jacket pocket, then right there in the church parking lot, dropped to one knee.

“I love you, Annie McCoy,” he said. “I will always love you. Please say you’ll marry me. I’ll spend the rest of my life making your dreams come true.”

He opened the box and she gasped when she saw the huge diamond nestled there.

“Duncan? Really? You want to marry me?”

“Don’t doubt me, Annie. You’re the one. Now that I’ve found you, I’ll never let you go.”

She didn’t know how or why she’d gotten so lucky, but she was grateful. She bent down and kissed him.

“Yes, I’ll marry you.”

He laughed, then stood and slid the ring on her finger. Then they hung on to each other as if they would never let go.

“I’ve missed you,” he whispered. “I’ve been lost without you.”

“Me, too.”

“You’ve changed me. How did I get so lucky?”

“That’s what I was thinking. That I got so lucky to find you,” she admitted, then opened her eyes. A brilliant star winked in the sky. She pointed. “Look.”

He turned. “It’s just Venus.”

“Don’t tell me that. Can’t it be a Christmas miracle?”

“If it makes you happy.”

“It does.”

“Then that’s what it is.” He kissed her. “Merry Christmas, Annie.”

“Merry Christmas, Duncan.”

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