Hit List

11

Stone and Vanessa arrived at Patroon to find Dino waiting for them. She gave him a big kiss on the forehead.

“Hey, baby,” he said. “Hey to you, too,” he said to Stone, “but no kissing.”

“Not even on the forehead?” Stone asked.

“Shut up and drink.” Dino had already ordered for them, and their drinks arrived and were attacked.

“You make any progress on the 30 Rock shooting?” Stone asked.

“Oh, I love hearing sentences like that,” Vanessa said. “It’s like reading Raymond Chandler or Elmore Leonard.”

“Stone can’t talk that good,” Dino said.

“And to answer my question...?”

“Your answer is: not much.”

“Does that mean a little or nothing at all?”

“Take your pick.”

“Oh, you’re such tough guys!” Vanessa laughed.

Dino patted her hand. “We’ve had thousands of hours of rehearsal in patrol cars,” he said.

“Seems more like millions,” Stone said. “I tried to call your wife today, and...”

“And you got a recorded message about satellite realignment,” Dino said. “Personally, I think the North Koreans have shot down a couple of those birds over Asia. Why did you want to talk to my wife? Are you two having an affair?”

“She’s in Singapore by this time. How could we be having an affair?”

“Phone sex,” Dino said.

“Better than no sex at all,” Vanessa chimed in.

“I was talking to Mike when the sat system went down, so I tried her, instead. He was about to say something meaningful about the hit list when we were cut off.”

“What was he saying?”

“How would I know? We were cut off.”

“What did he say before you were cut off?”

“He said he’d heard about the list, and then he started to say something about it, and then, pfffft!”

“Well,” Dino said, looking at his watch. “It’s tomorrow morning — or this morning — over there. I can never remember which.”

“That’s what Viv said.”

“You said you couldn’t reach her,” Dino replied.

“I spoke to her before she left Hong Kong,” Stone said. “Phone sex.”

“You were talking dirty to my wife?”

“I don’t consider sex to be dirty, just because it’s over the phone.”

“Hear, hear,” Vanessa said.

“Vanessa sounds like she’s in the House of Lords,” Dino said.

Stefan, the headwaiter, arrived with menus. “I hope I’m interrupting something important,” he said. “What would you like tonight?”

“Well, first of all,” Stone said, “we want to watch you make a Caesar salad, then I’d like the Dover sole.”

“Me, too!” Dino and Vanessa said simultaneously.

“And a bottle of the Puligny-Montrachet,” Stone said. Stefan vanished and then returned with a cart bearing a wooden salad bowl, romaine lettuce, egg yolks, olive oil, lemon juice, raw garlic, Parmigiano Reggiano, and anchovies. He donned a skullcap. “Required by law,” he explained. Shortly, he had done his magic with the ingredients and they were munching contentedly, if noisily.

They were finished with their sole and contemplating dessert when Stone’s cell phone rang.

“I’ll bet it’s Lance,” Dino said. “Better answer it, and ask him if the North Koreans have shot down some satellites.”

Stone answered, and they scrambled.

“How was your Dover sole?” Lance asked.

“Stop that, Lance. It’s like you have a tiny satellite circling my head and reporting back to you.”

“How odd you should mention that.”

Dino leaned in. “Lance, have the North Koreans shot down any satellites today over China?”

Lance was stonily silent for a long moment. Then, “How did you know that, Dino? It’s highly classified.”

“What?”

“I’m going to have to send some people over there to arrest you,” Lance said, “before you leak that information to somebody who shouldn’t know it.”

“Like the North Koreans?”

“Exactly,” Lance said. “You’ll be picked up before you finish dessert. Now, Stone, can we put aside this nonsense, or have Dino restrained, so that we can talk serious business?”

“Good idea about Dino,” Stone said. “Shoot. Oh, Vanessa’s here, too. Can you trust her?”

“Send her to the ladies’,” Lance said.

“You hear that?” Stone asked her.

She hipped her way out of the booth. “Oh, all right. I’m not wanted, I’ll go.”

“She’s gone,” Stone said. “What’s up?”

“Just a moment,” Lance said, then came back. “I can’t remember,” he said. “It was on the tip of my tongue, then Dino changed the subject.”

“Oh, it’s my fault you’re sliding into dementia, is it?” Dino responded.

“Just a senior moment,” Lance said. “I’ll call you back.”

Lance didn’t call back; Vanessa returned, they finished their dinner, and left.

“Where would you like to sleep tonight?” Stone asked Vanessa, kissing her on the ear.

“Mmmmm, let’s see,” she said. “There’s alone in a cold bed, and there’s in your arms. Which should I choose?”

“Home, Fred,” Stone said.

When they arrived, he told Fred to just pull up to the front door, instead of them all going in through the garage. They were halfway to the front door when Stone heard a noise and said, “Ricochet!” He ducked to one side of the front stairs, hoping that it was the good side, and freed his Colt .380 from its holster. He whistled loudly at Fred, but he was already pulling into the garage. A moment later Fred was at the garage door, a pistol in his hand.

It had gotten very quiet. “Fred, do you see anything?” Stone called out.

“Nothing, sir, but my night vision hasn’t made the adjustment yet.”

“Please close the garage door, go into the house, and open the front door from inside,” Stone shouted.

“Yes, sir!” The garage door slid shut.

“What’s happening?” Vanessa asked.

“Someone took a shot at us— Sorry, at me. He missed.”

The front door opened a crack. “All right, sir, I’ll cover you from here. When you’re ready!”

Stone was ready. He took Vanessa by the hand and, keeping his body between her and the street, ran around the staircase and hurried up the steps. Fred closed the door behind them.

“To answer your question,” Vanessa said, “I think I’ll sleep here tonight.”