Kiss Me If You Dare

39

Divers found Simon’s body the next day, tangled up in the tailrace portal. The only sign of Candice was her leather jacket, frozen stiff on the riverbank. They figured they’d find the rest of her downstream come spring.

During questioning, I’d gladly given police the weapon Candice had brought to my hotel room, along with all the details I could think of regarding Simon Scroll’s deadly connections, and Candice’s attempt at saving our lives. Of course, I listed “visit family” as my reason for being in Churchill Falls, rather than “punish Candice.” The chief gave our five-member family unit a stiff warning as to the dangers of getting involved with people who engage in illegal activities and the seriousness of causing a near international incident at a major power company. Before dismissing us, he contacted authorities in Del Gloria for me, informing them of Alexa Rigg’s act of vengeance.

We thanked him on our way out the door.

“What’s going to happen with your job?” I asked Dad during my last supper at the Jamison home before catching the puddle jumper for Goose Bay.

Dad speared a chunk of roast beef. “I laid it all on the table-running from Majestic, changing my name-and thank God the police chief is a reasonable man. We’re pretty close-knit here in Churchill Falls and I think they’ll want to keep Suzette and the girls around.” His eyes sparkled as he looked around the table at his family. “I’m guessing they’ll cut me some slack.”

Suzette used the edge of her fork to chop up her baked potato. “I think they’ll miss more than just Suzette and the girls, honey. You’re a very valuable employee.” She turned her gaze to me. “Your dad performs every function at the plant well, from repairing the communications network, to troubleshooting the turbines. He’s not one to sit at the bar or be late for a shift or snooze on the job. I’m sure the results of the investigation will be in Roger’s favor.”

“What about you guys?” I asked Meagan and Monique. “Have I totally humiliated you by showing up here?”

“No way!” Meagan got a big smile across her ten-year-old face. “I can’t wait to tell my friends about my cool new sister. You rocked. That guy was going to kill you and you were so brave.”

Monique piped in. “Yeah. I don’t know how you stayed so calm. I would have been freaking out.”

I smiled and waved a hand in dismissal. “Well, when you get to be my age and you live through a few things, little stuff like that doesn’t even get to you anymore.”

Meagan’s eyes got big. “Cool.”

A burst of pride rose in my chest as I looked around the table at my newfound family. I had a dad. And a stepmom. Two-no, three-sisters. And they loved me. They accepted me. I couldn’t wait to tell Brad.

My fork halted midair, steam rising from buttery, golden corn. I couldn’t tell Brad. There was no Happy Ever After for Tish and Brad in this new reality.

The fork clinked as I dropped it to the plate, my appetite as gone as my love life.

“Everything okay, Patricia?” Dad asked, face scrunched in concern.

Elbows on the table, I leaned my head in my hands. “No. Candice shot my boyfriend and he gave up on life and never wants to see me again.” My blubbering sounded stupid, even to me.

The table was silent and I could just imagine everyone looking at each other like I’d finally lost it. Roger, just get her to the airport, Suzette must be thinking.

“Hey,” sixteen-year-old Monique touched my shoulder. I crossed my arms and looked at her.

“The same thing happened to Renee when her boyfriend got hurt in wrestling last winter,” Monique said. “He was feeling really bad about himself while his leg was messed up and tried to break up with her for her own good. She basically told him it wasn’t going to happen. He could break up with her when his leg was healed, but not before. She stuck it out, even though he was really hard to be around for a while. Today, they’re still together and really happy.” She gave a hopeful shrug. “Maybe you could try doing that?”

Out of the mouths of babes. I stared at Monique. Maybe her idea would work. It was worth a shot.

Suzette cleared her throat. “I think it’s probably a little more complex than that, Mo.”

Monique tilted her lips. “Doubt it.”

I took a bite of corn, hungry with new hope, savoring my last moments in Churchill Falls before embarking on my journey home.

We cleaned up our supper, laughing and smiling on top, but unable to ignore the bittersweet beneath.

“Do you think you’ll be safe here now?” I asked Dad as he handed me a wet plate to dry.

“I think so. After I told him the whole story, the chief made it sound like the Canadian government could do some arm-twisting to get Frank Majestic put away once and for all. What happened here was a matter of international concern. They’re not going to let some pot dealer mess around with the employees at a plant that supplies power to a good chunk of North America. Frank will get shut down and no one will hear from him again. I guess in a way, it’s good this happened. I feel free at last. And,” he looked at me, perhaps with that same adoration in his eyes as with his other daughters, “I finally got to meet my Patricia.”

I put the plate in the cupboard and turned to him. “I can’t imagine having gone a second longer without knowing where you were and who you were and how you lived your life. In a way, I’m glad everything happened just the way it did.” But at the thought of Candice falling into the murky waters of the underground river, a cry gurgled up in my throat.

Dad put his arms around me. “I know, sweetheart. At what price?”

I waited until my voice was under control. “She had a really bad life. I wish something good could have happened to her. Just once. But then this.”

“Maybe to her, this was the something good. She saved you, didn’t she? Maybe it was that final act of redemption that will give her peace.”

I sniffled and wiped my eyes. “Maybe. I guess I’ll have to think of it like that.”

“Time to go, everyone. The plane won’t wait.” Suzette shooed us all to the car for the drive to the airport. We said our goodbyes on the way, the setting sun orange on the horizon.

“I want to come visit you,” Monique said. “Where will you be? Michigan?”

The question caught me off guard. “I’m supposed to be finishing up my degree in California. I’m just one semester away. After that, I don’t know where I’ll be.”

I thought of Brad. Even if he wanted to be with me, could we make things work? He was a guy from downstate Rawlings who got stuck in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula while he recovered from a gunshot wound-or expired from it, whichever he decided. And I was a nomad now.

“Well,” Monique said, “wherever you are, I’m going to visit.”

“You just want to go to the States,” Meagan said, a tease in her voice.

“Duh,” Monique replied. “And I want to see my big sis again.”

“I’d love to have you, Monique. All of you. Any of you. You’re all welcome wherever I end up.”

Dad made the turn to the terminal building. “We’ll take you up on that, honey. I only wish you didn’t have to leave so soon. We’ve got thirty-three years of catching up to do and we’ve covered, what? Two of them so far?”

He parked.

I held his hand and we walked into the building together. The others followed, bringing my suitcase.

Tearful goodbyes, and soon the plane was in the air, circling the lights below one last time before turning east to Goose Bay.

The travel home was grueling with far too much time to think. Busy enjoying my last moments with family, I’d barely noticed the lump on my head, the sore muscles, the cuts and bruises. But now they consumed my thoughts, along with guilt and remorse over Candice’s death, frustration at Brad, anger due to the fire in Del Gloria and the injuries to my friends, annoyance at Samantha and Joel for taking my house, and sorrow that I didn’t know when I’d get to see my dad, stepmom, and sisters again.

I popped acetaminophen like breath mints until I was safely back in Michigan airspace. My final connection touched down late afternoon, two days after I left Churchill Falls. I rented a car for the trip back to Port Silvan, glad to have the freedom of my own wheels the next few days before flying back to Del Gloria. I could visit Brad and take care of loose ends without inconveniencing Puppa, who’d already bent over backward to accommodate my resurrection. Besides, I’d left my grandfather with the impression I’d taken up permanent residence in Churchill Falls. I had enough explaining to do.

The familiar backdrop of snow-covered pines whizzed past on the highway. Most of all, I dreaded telling Puppa of Candice. His words rang in my head: “not infected with cancer… infected with love.” How would I tell him his love was dead?

And what of my love?

Rapid River, then Silvan Corners. The drive flew by, my mind no closer to a strategy for dealing with Brad, college, or the lodge. Cupid’s Creek, the sign for the cider mill. Then the blink-and-you-miss-it drive through Port Silvan.

I pressed on the gas at the curve out of town. A mile up, I slowed at Puppa’s white fences, turning down the driveway to the lake house.

He was at the door, a surprised look on his face, as I walked across the porch.

“What happened? Are you okay?” He hugged me, then ushered me to the living room.

“Long story,” I said. “Do you have any tea?”

“I’ll make a pot. Sit.” He left the room.

I stared out the bank of windows at the snow-globe scene on the other side of the bay, with its row of cottages on the shore and church steeple in the distance.

In a moment Puppa joined me.

“Tell me everything,” he said.

“Not sure you want to hear everything.” I blinked back tears. “It’s not all good.”

But somehow I made it through the detailed version of Candice showing up at the hotel room, my dash to warn Dad of trouble, meeting the sisters I never knew I had, the near-death experience at the plant, and Candice’s final act of love toward Puppa’s family.

Somewhere between Simon Scroll showing up and Candice falling into the river, the teapot whistled. Puppa set us up with two cups and urged me to continue.

He hadn’t said a word during my entire monologue. And now, as I wrapped up the details of the missing Jacob Russo’s life, Puppa just sat there, tears streaming down his cheeks while he listened.

When I was done, Puppa shook his head. “My boy turned into a fine man. I’m glad you got to meet him, Patricia.”

I sniffled and wiped at my eyes. “Me too. And I know you will again someday.”

From his seat in Grandma Olivia’s rocker, Puppa stared into the distance. “That’s not so important anymore. All God’s promises came to be. He took care of Jacob when I couldn’t. He took care of you when Jacob couldn’t. And-” he stopped to gain control over his voice-“He even took care of Candice, giving her another chance to make things right before she died.” He wiped his hand across his brow, then covered his face.

I watched him fight his grief, then finally succumb. I gave him a moment alone, then walked over and joined him, crying on his shoulder as I hugged him from above.

He patted my hand. “At least we have each other, Patricia. I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t in my life.” Memories of Grandma Amble’s guilt-grip over me flooded my mind. I took a deep breath. “I know how hard this must be for you. You thought you lost me, then you lost your mother, and now Candice.” I stepped back. “It’s going to hurt for a long time. Maybe the rest of your life. But I’ve got to move on with mine.” My future plans suddenly became crystal clear. “I’m going back to Del Gloria in a few days to finish up my degree. It’s not going to slip through my fingers this time.”

He looked at me, confusion, or maybe abandonment written on his face. “That’s not what I expected. I thought now that it’s safe enough to stay, you would…,” he paused as if searching for a delicate way to put it, “you would at least stick around for Brad’s sake.”

I sat on the chair across from him, excited at the clarity cropping up in my plans. “On the way home, I asked myself what I could do that would change Brad’s mind about dying. What could I do that would make him want to live? And I decided that it’s out of my control. It’s really his decision.” I leaned forward, my hands emphasizing my words. “All I can do is show by my example how to choose life. That means I can’t give up on my dreams because someone I love is suffering. That means I move forward with my own plans, cheering him on should he decide to join the living again. It means taking the risk that I could lose him by not catering to his depression. And being even more grateful in the end if we pull through it together.”

Puppa stared at me. “What are they teaching you in California?”

I sat in momentary horror that he disapproved of my reasoning.

A smile broke out on his face. “You’re doing it, aren’t you? You’re figuring life out. I think you may have already passed up this old man in the maturity department. I’m really proud of you, Patricia.” Puppa crouched beside me, taking my chin in his hand. “I think that’s the spirit Brad fell in love with. And it’s exactly what he needs to see now, if he’s going to survive.”

I leaned my forehead against his. “It’s going to be really hard. Every instinct is screaming, ‘Stay and take care of him.’ But,” I shook my head, “that’s not the right thing for either one of us. We’d just feed off each other’s weaknesses until we destroyed every bit of love between us, like what happened between me and Grandma Amble.” Another deep breath. “This way, we stay strong for each other, building each other up as we conquer the obstacles in our own lives. We’ll fight a common enemy instead of making each other the enemy.”

Puppa looked baffled. “Who taught you that?”

I shrugged.

“You’re going to make it, Patricia. You’re going to do just fine.”

“Thanks, Puppa. I probably would have made it anyway. But now I can make it in style.” I scratched my head, grasping for a term that escaped me. “What’s the word used in the Bible?”

“Abundance,” Puppa said. “Now you can live an abundant 340 life.”

“That’s the word I was looking for. I think for me it means a life without fear. I’m sick of deciding stuff based on fear. One thing I’ve figured out-God is with me even if I make a big mistake. And while I want to make the best decisions possible, I don’t have to be afraid of every possible outcome. It’s still His world in the end. And His will.”

He squeezed my shoulder. “If I was only half as trusting as you.” A smile hovered on his face.

“Oh, come on,” I said with a playful smack on his shoulder. “Who do you think taught trust by example? You did. And I’m so grateful. Now,” my gaze flicked to a cobweb in the corner, “I have to see what Brad’s position is on all this.”

“Let’s get supper going and you can visit him first thing tomorrow morning.”

My stomach growled at the mention of food. “Good idea.” I forced my heart to stay calm at the thought of seeing Brad again, pushing back the fear. I was going to be direct with him. Firm. Take charge, just like Monique’s girlfriend had done. And Brad would be thrilled to see me and happy to hear everything I had to say.

But even as Puppa and I walked to the kitchen, I knew that nothing about tomorrow was going to be fun-or easy.