Liquid fear

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

Mark found Alexis in the dark, though he’d cut a gash in his cheek prowling through the clutter of the factory. The pain was sharp enough to cut a swath through the clamoring fog of murder, and he ran his tongue over his shattered, throbbing tooth.

Pain is my ally.

He chanted it to himself like a mantra, fighting off the madness that threatened to engulf him.

Alexis was screeching Roland’s name, her voice echoing through the high metal rafters, and all he had to do was anticipate her direction, press back into an opening, and wait, focusing on the red streak of flaming agony in his face.

When she passed, he jumped her, counting on his familiarity with her height to hit her in the right spot. He thought he was tackling her around the shoulders, but his skull thudded against something solid. He went blue-minded for a moment, and she tried to raise her arm, but he gripped hard, fighting for consciousness.

“Lex, it’s me,” he said. “I’m sorry, but I have to hurt you now.”

He moved his mouth to her upper arm and bit hard, causing her to scream and drop whatever she was carrying. He didn’t let up, but instead let his teeth dig until they stopped on bone and the coppery sweet blood painted his lips.

“Owww, Mark, you’re hurting meeee,” she moaned, trying to fling him off, but her struggles subsided as the pain took hold.

“Pain,” he said wetly, pulling his mouth away. “It clears the Seethe. But you have to keep it fresh.”

Taking his own advice, he slapped the spot on his skull where the metal had struck, then dug a fingernail in for good measure.

“Yeah,” Alexis wheezed, relaxing in his grip. “Like rock-paper-scissors. Pain covers fear.”

“And lust cuts pain,” Mark said. He wasn’t sure what he was talking about, but even now the twin powers of Anita’s lingering touch and his wife’s warm body threatened to reduce him to a slavering satyr.

“We need the Halcyon,” Alexis said. “We have to find Roland.”

“What if Briggs screwed with the dose? What if it’s a placebo?”

“No, he wants it like ten years ago.”

“When Susan Sharpe died?” Mark weighed the impact of her sudden silence before adding, “I know what happened.”

“Don’t say her name, Mark. Please, God, don’t say her name-”

She trembled in his grip and he said, “Yeah, okay. Focus on the bite wound.”

“Roland!” Alexis shouted to him in the dark. “We have to work together.”

“If he’s as messed up as we are, he’ll be too paranoid. We’ll have to find him.”

“Unless he took one of the pills. Then he’s okay for a little bit, though he won’t remember why we’re here.”

“Then he’ll be scared as shit anyway,” Mark said, realizing he’d lost all orientation. “Have you seen Briggs?”

“Not since the lights went out. Wendy’s gone, too.”

“I locked the others back there. At least they’re safe for now, assuming they don’t rip each other’s throats out.”

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“Me, too.” He punched her in the stomach and she grunted. Her arm flew out reflexively and caught his mouth, causing a fresh eruption of blood and torment.

“Now let’s find Roland before we beat each other to death,” she said between gasps. “He’s got three doses of Halcyon.”

They held hands as they hustled down the dark corridor as fast as they dared. Mark kept his free arm out in front of them, in case they ran into one of the obscured mountains of junk.

“I see a glow over there,” Mark whispered. “Along the far wall.”

“Probably where Briggs is.”

“We go the other way, then.”

They’d only traveled about a dozen feet when Roland spoke from somewhere below them, near the floor. “Hey, you guys.”

“Where are you?” Alexis whispered.

“Shh. Dr. Sunshine must have some cameras in this joint. Get down and crawl. You’re not going to kill me this time, are you?”

Mark felt his wife pull him to the floor and he eased forward on his hands and knees. He had a sense of a narrow, confined space, because he could hear the muffled sounds of their breathing.

Then a small light came on, and he saw Roland’s hand cupped around a cell phone. They were in a large wooden crate, reinforced with metal bars and smelling of axle grease.

“Shit,” Mark said. “Did you call somebody?”

“No signal in here. But it’s a light.”

“Good thinking,” Mark said. “That armed gorilla took mine.”

“We need the pills,” Alexis said. “We can’t last much longer.”

“I took one,” Roland said. “And I’m good for maybe fifteen minutes if our zookeeper was right.”

“Where’s the bottle?” Alexis said.

“Not so fast. Think about it. Only two pills left, so we better have a plan. And we still have to find those other people. Is my wife here?”

“Yeah. Mark is Seething, too.”

“Fuck. This your husband?”

“Yeah. He’s with CRO.”

“We met before,” Mark said, awkwardly extending his hand. “I was at your wedding.”

“I ought to kill you,” Roland said, ignoring the offered shake. “Not sure why, but it sounds right.”

“You’ll probably get your chance,” Mark said, running a finger over his broken tooth. “But Lex is the expert. Better listen to her.”

Roland nodded and slid the phone into his pocket, where the light quickly died.

“Our only chance is to buy more time,” Alexis said in the dark. “We can’t help the others. That means one of us is going to have to take the two remaining pills.”

Mark scraped his hand along the rough side of the crate until several splinters drove into his skin. “I can hold out,” Mark said, though there was probably a threshold beyond which even pain wouldn’t fight off the demons. He could feel them lurking back there, waiting to claim him.

“Two left,” Roland said. “And I might need both of them to save Wendy.”

“But you don’t know enough,” Alexis said. “You’re already forgetting where we are.”

“We’re in a goddamned crate.”

“Keep it down or they’ll find us. We need every edge we can get. Oww.”

Mark had clawed her shoulder, and was pleased to find his bite mark was still raw and wet. “Pain. It’s the only cure.”

“You guys are hurting each other?” Roland said. “Doing Briggs’s job for him?”

“Two pills will buy me at least half an hour,” Alexis said. “I can find where Briggs has taken Wendy.”

“Wendy’s here?” Roland said, apparently forgetting he’d already asked that.

“I know the layout, and I know better than anyone how Briggs’s mind works. I was his Igor, remember?”

The way she said it irked Mark and made him want to hit her for real, but he couldn’t trust any of his feelings. Except the feeling of pain.

“She’s making sense,” Mark said. “And don’t forget that goon with the gun is still around.”

“Goon with a gun?” Roland said in the dark.

“Lex, what if you become like him?” Mark said. “What if you take your dose and forget to take the next one?”

“What choice do we have?” she said. “Give me the vial, Roland.”

There was a sigh and then a rattle in the dark, and then Alexis’s mouth was near Mark’s good cheek. He was afraid she was going to bite, and he cringed but didn’t draw away. Instead, she kissed him. Gently.

Mark found the tender residue worked almost as well as pain at clearing his head. But tenderness wasn’t something he could trust, either. Like pain, tenderness didn’t last.

“I love you, honey,” she whispered, giving his hand a fleeting squeeze as she scrambled out of the crate.

As her shuffling footsteps faded, Mark said, “So, Roland, have you heard of a cure called ‘pain’?”