Little Scarlet

7

Even if I had had my car I wouldn’t have been able to put it in the garage because there was a sailboat in the driveway. Bonnie Shay’s new pink Rambler was parked in the street in front of the house. From behind the boat I could hear the monotonous, back and forth rasping of a sandpaper block on wood.

“That you, Juice?” I called.

Jesus stood up from behind the boat and smiled. He’d taken his single sail out every day for three months before the riots. I made him stay home while the curfew was on, though. He took the time to fix any damage the craft had suffered.

“Hey, Dad,” he said in a voice made strong by the sea. “Bonnie’s home.”

He wasn’t very tall, five six in his deck shoes. His skin was the color of brown eggshell. His eyes were dark and almond shaped and he was fluent in English, Spanish, and French. The latter he picked up from Bonnie as easily as some people acquire an accent by moving to a different part of the country.

When Jesus came to live with me he was five and had never spoken a word. He didn’t speak for many years because of abuse that he was exposed to at a very early age. And even after he did start talking, it was seldom and soft.

But then he decided to drop out of high school and build himself a boat. I allowed him to do it, even though everyone told me it was a mistake. Jesus had promise in school. His grades were just average, but he excelled as a long-distance runner. UCLA had been talking to the track coach about Jesus, but then I let him drop out to build his boat and take reading lessons with me at night.

The sea made him stand taller and speak out loud. He was the master of his own fate when he no longer had to deal with anyone he didn’t want to, like all of the teachers who didn’t believe that little Mexican kids were worth the seats they sat in.

“How’s it goin’, boy?” I asked.

“Daddy!” Feather yelled. She came running out of the front door with her thick blond-brown hair bouncing behind her. She’d shot up in the few months that Jesus was sailing. In just a few years she’d be taller than the brother of her heart. She was light skinned, even lighter than Jesus, but definitely American Negro—that’s black mixed in with something else. Her mother was a white stripper who died and her father was someone like me. She came to live in my home before she was eight months old. I was the only father she knew.

She ran right into me and hugged me as hard as she could.

“Are you all right?” she asked, whining.

“Sure I am, baby girl. Were you worried?”

“Juice said that you were going down to your office. Where the black people are shooting up everybody they see.”

“Juice didn’t say that part about the black people, did he, honey?”

“No. Graham did.”

“That little boy with the green eyes?”

Feather was still holding me. She looked up and nodded.

I kissed her forehead and carried her to the short stack of concrete stairs that led to our front door. When I sat down she twisted so that she was sitting in my lap. It was a dance step we’d developed over the nine years she’d been my girl.

She’d left the front door open. Her little yellow dog, Frenchie, came to the door and bared his sharp teeth. He hated me, dreamt every night, I was sure, about ripping out my throat. But we both loved Feather and so kept an uneasy truce.

“I don’t care what they say around here or over at Carthay Circle, honey, but black people aren’t running around crazy, shooting at people.”

“That’s what they say on the news,” she said.

“I know they do. But they don’t talk about why people are mad. They don’t talk about all the bad things that have happened to our people. You see, sometimes people get so mad that they just have to do something. Later on they might wish that they didn’t but by then it’s too late.”

“Is that why you were crying, Daddy?”

“When was I crying?”

“The other night when you were looking at the news and I was supposed to be in bed.”

“Oh.” I remembered. It was late and Bonnie had been stranded in Europe because of a series of thunderstorms around Paris. I was watching images of the rioters on the late news with the volume turned off, witnessing those poor souls out in the street fighting against an enemy that I recognized just as well as they. I had read the newspapers and heard the commentaries from the white newscasters. But my point of view was never aired. I didn’t want the violence but I was tired of policemen stopping me just for walking down the street. I hated the destruction of property and life, but what good was law and order if it meant I was supposed to ignore the fact that our children were treated like little hoodlums and whores? My patience was as thin as a Liberty dime, but still I stayed in my house to protect my makeshift family. That’s what brought me to tears. But how could I say all of that to a ten-year-old girl?

“I was sad because the people didn’t understand each other,” I said. “That’s why people fight.”

“Why?” Feather asked. She leaned her head against my jaw and all the pain released.

“Because they don’t know what it’s like to be in the other man’s skin,” I said.

“I’m hungry, Daddy,” Feather said, and I knew I had found the right words.

“Hi, baby,” Bonnie Shay said.

I leaned back and looked up, like a child, and saw her upside- down image. She looked down on us with eyes that took me away from America to a place where music was part of talking and walking and even breath.

Her skin was as dark as mine and her smile knew a happiness I craved. She squatted down and put her arms around Feather and me. Bonnie was the only woman I had known in my adulthood who could make me feel like a child in the presence of maternal love. I leaned back against her and closed my eyes. I’m a big man, weighing one ninety, but her work as a stewardess had prepared her to deal with heavy objects.

Feather sighed and Jesus came over to beam down on us like the sun on his own ancient homeland. For a moment there I almost forgot about the smoldering slums and Nola Payne’s cold body laid up in a white room under lock and key.

BONNIE AND I had a deal that I’d always make dinner on the day she returned from a transatlantic flight. I made glazed oxtails and collard greens with cornbread and tapioca pudding. It took fifty-seven minutes for me to do it all from scratch. That’s how you can tell who’s a good cook: by his speed and timing. There are a lot of men, both white and black, who call themselves gourmet cooks. They only work once a month or so and then they make only one dish. Those men have no idea what the real art of cooking is.

A real cook comes home not knowing what’s in the icebox because he doesn’t know who has eaten what since the last time he looked. You have to be fast on your feet making a balanced meal that has got to be on the table no more than five minutes after your brood gets hungry. And everything should be ready at the same time. I’d like to see these weekend gourmets come up with something new and tasty five days a week on a budget that some housewives get.

I didn’t get any complaints at the dinner table. It was nice to have everybody there. Bonnie was gone at least one week out of four on her European and African routes with Air France. Jesus spent all day every day either working at the Captain’s Reef supermarket in Venice or sailing along the coast. Most nights he spent with friends on the shore. To have all four of us there together felt like a blessing, even though I am not a religious man.

“Dad?” Jesus said.

“Uh-huh.”

“What is Vietnam?”

“It’s a country.”

“But who’s fighting them?”

“They’re having an internal disagreement,” I said. “People in the north want to have it one way and the people in the south want it another.”

“Which one is right?”

When Jesus dropped out of school I made him promise to read every day and then to talk to me about what he’d read. That carried over into us discussing newspaper articles almost every morning. We had skipped that morning because I left for the office early, so he kept his discussion for the dinner table.

“Johnson says it’s the south that’s right. I really couldn’t say.”

“Does Juice have to go over there and fight the Veemanams, Daddy?” Feather asked.

“I hope not, honey. I really do hope not.”