Master and God

27

Light altered subtly throughout the apartment, although it was still dark. Outside, a bird began to trill a piercing and joyous soaraway song that suited Lucilla’s waking mood. The last few delivery carts trundled away into the distance, trying to beat the daylight curfew when wheeled vehicles had to leave the streets. The earliest workers were out in Plum Street, visiting the food shop on their way to menial jobs. Their voices came loud, seeming thoughtless, as if they had to be up and about, so why not others?

Inside, everywhere lay still.

Gaius, beside her, had curled on his side, facing away in such deep slumber that at one point Lucilla had wrapped herself around him, pressing against his back to listen to his lungs as if she needed to check he was still alive. She knew without asking, he had not slept so well for years; some long-held grief had slid away last night, to give place to healing.

He sensed she had woken. Dragging himself from unconsciousness just enough, he struggled over towards her, flung arms around her, hauled her into his embrace, then sank back into further sleep. His warm palm was spread against her head, his fingers had run into her hair.

Lucilla held him, shaking and overwhelmed with gratitude for what she now had. Gaius roused enough to make a small protest at her emotion, his fingertips stroking her temple until she too was soothed and began to sleep again.

He came awake soon afterwards. He lay on watch, as the morning sun grew in strength to flood through gaps in the shutters, while street-sweepers came and went in Plum Street, then shoppers and people on business occupied the neighbourhood. For half an hour schoolchildren clamoured uninhibitedly on their way to lessons. Then the voices were less shrill. After a while, Gaius drowsed gently, waiting until Lucilla awoke so they could spend their day together.

He was a happy man. It went beyond the morning bonhomie of any fellow who had screwed a girl he liked. He knew their lives had altered fundamentally. Still, he would have to exert himself to hang on to this — fight off all the other bastards, keep her permanently sweet — he was looking forward to the process. When she stirred, he greeted her with kisses, unable to stop smiling.

At first they lay in silence, foreheads together, blissfully lost in their reconciliation. As they gazed like soulful doves, Lucilla realised she rarely thought of Gaius as one-eyed. She knew him so well she would read his expression, tell his thoughts, just as if he had two eyes to communicate like anybody else. Whether he was handsome or hideous did not matter either. All she loved came from his character.

‘What are you thinking?’

‘Your action list got abandoned!’

‘Perfectly decent action list,’ declared Gaius. ‘I shall complete it.’ Lucilla smiled and Gaius enjoyed her benevolence like a dog lapping gravy. ‘Any agenda of mine,’ he offered, at his most cheerful, ‘always receives systematic treatment, item by item, as steered by a man who knows the lazy, incompetent bastards he is forced to deal with

… Listen, sweetie, this is important stuff; stop tickling my balls for a moment — ’

‘Can you not be fondled and talk nonsense at the same time?’

‘Can’t concentrate. I am not a demigod… So: in my office there is an agreed programme, but other activity may be authorised, if I decide it necessary. Loving you last night was a special exercise. The agenda remains active. I will work through the damned thing. Clear?’

‘Perfectly. When does it start?’

‘About two heartbeats from now.’

Then Gaius fulfilled his agenda in an orderly manner — with passion, inventiveness and the energy of a man who had had a thoroughly good night’s sleep.

Later, they let half a morning go by, talking and teasing and languidly exploiting their first real chance to spend time together, with no pressure to do anything.

While they were still in bed, Lucilla could not resist asking, ‘You said something outside the theatre that time, but you were angry — Was it true?’

‘This is what a grammarian would call “a question expecting the answer yes”. Let’s not play games. You know I love you.’

Thinking of his dogged pursuit, how could Lucilla doubt it? She lay gazing up at the old wooden ceiling. ‘And are you going to ask me?’

Gaius folded her hand into his, linking fingers. ‘You will tell me when you want to.’

‘That sounds as if you think you already know.’

‘So am I very conceited?’

‘Not really. Just a trained observer.’

Gaius had found the end of the blue ribbon; remarkably, its knot was still intact. Inevitably, he pulled it. He spread Lucilla’s shining hair, loosening it around her head, tenderly laying strands upon her shoulders.

‘Ironic,’ she concluded ruefully. ‘I devote my life to doing women’s hair, to make them attractive to their men — and all the time, what men really like best is hair worn long and loose, without adornment — ’

‘On a pillow!’ exclaimed Gaius enthusiastically.

‘So what happens now?’

‘Breakfast.’ Gaius pulled himself upright and sat on the edge of the bed, stretching what he must know was an impressive torso. ‘I have to get up. Traditionally, the boy in a family goes out for breakfast rolls.’

Are we a family? ‘I meant-’

‘I know.’ Gaius stopped her. ‘I am not letting you get away this time.’ He rolled back and hung over her. He knew how uncertain Lucilla’s life had been, and how determined he himself was to avoid any more stupid mistakes. ‘Let’s get it over with. You need to know I am a permanent fixture; I need to know that if I nip off for a pee, you won’t disappear on me.’

‘Tell me what you want, Gaius.’

‘What do you think, love? I’ve been mooning after you so long, it’s all pretty obvious to me.’

‘No guesswork. Too many of my clients have come to grief through relying on presumption.’

‘You want a written agreement?’ Lucilla was amused to hear he sounded as if, had he had a waxed tablet here in the bed, he would have jotted contract notes. ‘Whatever you will agree to,’ Gaius said. ‘Whatever you choose to call it. I won’t push my luck; you made it clear, you think I’m a bad bet for marriage and I don’t blame you.. Just be my girl, Lucilla. Be kind, and let me be loving to you. When work permits, we shall be together. One bed, one hearth, one table — one bloody dog, who already thinks he owns us both. One life, one set of dreams.’

Lucilla caressed his ruined cheek with her knuckle. ‘I notice you put the bed first.’

Gaius nibbled her finger affectionately. ‘No, the dreams come first. I am just frightened to admit that, in case you think I’m soft.’

‘So what are your dreams, Gaius?’

‘Who knows?’ He was completely honest. ‘Maybe I have to come to you to learn them… Give me a chance, girl. You know you want to.’

Lucilla smiled so sweetly her happiness was translucent. She shimmied to her knees and held him close, before despatching him to fetch their breakfast.

‘Shall I bring the dog up?’ They could hear Baby howling piteously in the salon downstairs. He knew he was missing something.

‘May as well. He has to get used to it.’

‘He either accepts it — or he goes!’

‘Gaius, as a pet-owner, you are ruthless… Do I have to do what you say, too?’

Gaius scoffed. ‘Oh no. I know my limits.’

The bakeries would be nearly sold out. He washed, pulled on his old tunic, and went out to find bread rolls. Lucilla heard him all the way down Plum Street, as he filled his lungs and, just like the blackbird earlier, sang his heart out.

Heads turned. Gaius Vinius knew it, and he did not care.