Mercy

CHAPTER 6

Sam Talbot lived on the kind of wide, tree-lined street where Julie had once imagined she would raise her family. The houses here were spacious, but not too grand. Her ex-husband, Paul, had railed against the trappings of suburban life, so they’d ended up buying a condo in Cambridge. And Julie, to her surprise, fell in love with urban living. The conveniences were hard to beat. Once the excitement of her engagement to Sam had worn off, Julie made clear her concerns regarding living arrangements. She was a full-fledged city mouse, and Sam was of the country variety.

“We’ll work it out,” Sam had assured her.

That was almost a year ago. They had yet to reach any decision. Now the wedding was fast approaching-six months and counting down-and some sort of resolution was in order.

“He’ll be fine here,” Sam said, speaking of Trevor.

“Well, I know he’ll adjust,” Julie replied. “But how long will it take? How well can he manage?”

They were working side by side in Sam’s two-car garage. Julie had an underground parking space, but no storage, and a real garage was one of many amenities suburban living had to offer. Julie attended to her motorcycle and Sam to his in preparation for the day’s long ride.

“He’ll make new friends,” Sam said. “How many middle school chums are you still close with?”

“Plenty,” Julie answered. Julie did not make eye contact with Sam. She was too busy going through her pre-ride checklist, which she approached with the same fastidiousness she brought to a bedside exam.

Sam was less diligent, in part because he was far more experienced. He rode a BMW K1600, which had an engine roughly seven times the cubic capacity of Julie’s bike. Julie’s ride was plenty powerful and she had confidence in her ability to control her bike, thanks to fifteen hours of instruction from Training Wheels, a premier motorcycle riding school. It was the other motorists she worried about.

“Who are you still close with from middle school?” Sam asked.

Her focus still on her bike, Julie answered, “Sandy, Claire, and Eileen.” She rattled those names off the top of her head, but she could have mentioned others as well.

“You talk to them only on Facebook,” Sam said with a grin.

“They’re still my friends, and isn’t Facebook how we reconnected?” Julie strode over to Sam, giving her hips an extra playful swagger. She wrapped her arms around his neck. He was taller than Julie by five inches, but she did not mind stretching to meet his lips. His close-cropped beard, sandy-colored like his thick, wavy hair, tickled her face and she enjoyed the sensation. She threw herself into the kiss, making it clear that wherever she and Trevor lived, Sam would be in her life forever.

“Maybe I’ll keep my condo for a while, you keep your house, and we’ll see each other when Trevor is with Paul.”

Sam frowned. “We sound like we’re already divorced.”

“I just don’t know if I can move him now, sweetheart. He’s acting out at school and at home. The whole notion is daunting.”

Sam fell silent, not brooding, but thinking. “What if I sold my house and we bought a new place together in Cambridge?”

Julie was stunned. “You would do that for us?”

“That way Trevor could go to the same school, and we could be together as a family.”

“Why not just move into my place, then? There’s more than enough room for the three of us.”

“That’s your place with Paul,” Sam said. “I want something that’s just about us. A place where we can make memories from scratch.”

“And you can make new cabinets,” Julie said, smiling.

Mostly self-taught, Sam had painstakingly stripped his house down to the studs and rebuilt it using secondhand tools and limitless ingenuity. It was a true labor of love. From decorative moldings with intricate carvings to the kitchen cabinetry and furniture, Sam was an artist with wood.

“But you hate the city,” Julie said. “And now you’ll have a commute.”

“I’d hate living apart from you even more. Trevor’s not the only one who can adjust.”

Julie purred and pressed her body against him, running her hands along his backside in a playful, teasing way. Sam’s hazel eyes flickered with excitement.

“How about after this ride I help lube your throttle cable?” Julie whispered in his ear.

Sam laughed and kissed Julie with passion. “I love it when you talk motorcycle to me.”

Julie pulled away and her expression became more serious. “We’ll figure it out, okay? I love you and I’m excited to spend the rest of my life showing you how much.”

Their lips met again.

“Thank goodness for Facebook,” Sam breathed in Julie’s ear.

Back in high school, Sam Talbot had hovered near Julie’s close circle of friends, but they remained acquaintances and nothing more. Occasionally they would bump into each other at a party or some school happening, but Sam was a band and drama club kid. Julie was more of a jock, and for the most part, those groups didn’t interact.

But then came life, and later Facebook, and suddenly Julie’s friend list was replete with people from her past whose names she could barely recall, including Sam Talbot’s.

When Sam posted about his divorce, a year after Julie’s had been finalized, she worked up the nerve to send him a message. It was the tone of his post that had her so intrigued. She could still recall some of that text verbatim.

Life can be a magical journey and the only anchors we have are the ones we tie to ourselves. So anchors away and bon voyage, my friends. I’m sailing off on a new adventure!

Julie loved the visual, and wanted to believe she embraced her own upheaval with the same degree of optimism. She wrote a friendly note to Sam, to whom she had not spoken since graduation. They made a date to meet for drinks, which led to more drinks, and now, almost two years later, plans to marry.

“I have a lot of papers to grade tonight,” Sam said. “Can you stay over and keep me company?”

“I have to be home for Trevor,” Julie said.

“That’s it, I’m calling the real estate agent soon as we get back.”

Julie laughed warmly as Sam fired up his engine.

“Don’t laugh, I’m serious,” he said.

Julie climbed on her bike and blew him a kiss. “And I’m glad.”

They backed their bikes out of the garage. Skill with a motorcycle had more to do with correct technique than brute strength, and Julie was all about doing things the right way. She led by example at work and at home. She hoped Trevor would adopt her ways, but it seemed Paul’s influence was winning out.

Still, Trevor could recite on command Julie’s list of three things in life not to waste-time, money, and potential-and this gave her hope that Trevor would one day mature into better life habits.

Soon they were on the road, headed west to the Berkshires. Julie felt peaceful and exhilarated all at once. Thin clouds scudded in front of the morning sun, darkening a splendid blue sky. It was the first Sunday of September, the long Labor Day weekend, and an unseasonable chill in the air hinted at summer’s final good-bye. Julie’s leather jacket provided warmth against the biting wind.

They took the highway so they could make good time getting to the day’s main event, a thirty-five-mile stretch of Route 20 called Jacob’s Ladder Trail Scenic Byway. The road wound through Russell, Huntington, Chester, and Becket before ending in downtown Lee.

Just beyond the Russell town line, the rambling Westfield River came into view. It was a spectacular sight, and Julie followed Sam into a scenic pullout. She dismounted and removed her helmet, shaking her head to let her long, chestnut hair tumble to her shoulders.

“I find it so insanely hot every time you do that,” Sam said after removing his own helmet.

“And this is so insanely beautiful.”

Julie took an invigorating breath. Already some flashes of color were brushed upon the leaves of the vast forest, just beyond the riverbank. The fall was always Julie’s favorite season-a time for renewal and optimism, and of course pumpkin everything. This would be the first year Trevor had no plans to go trick-or-treating. Julie was surprised that this made her feel a little sad.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a phone call from Paul. “Hi, what’s going on?”

Paul said, “Trevor has to do a book report and wants to know if you can pick up the book for him at the library.”

Julie kept her annoyance in check. “Paul, I’m in the Berkshires. I believe you have the same access to a library as do I. And why wouldn’t he want to go to a library? There’s no place better.”

“I’m working on a sculpture and Trevor’s enjoying helping.”

Her jaw tightened. “You better not be giving my son a blowtorch,” Julie said.

“No. You made your feelings about that quite clear.”

“Well then, let me make this clear to you, as well. Don’t be lazy. Go take your son to the library. Give him a hug from me. I’ll see you both tonight.”

“But-”

“Good-bye, Paul.” Julie ended the call.

Sam gave Julie a wry smile. “You really are a great ex, you know that?”

“My mother taught me how to do it right. She had plenty of practice.”

“Third time’s the charm.”

“Paul means well. He’s just a little, I don’t know-immature, I suppose.”

For all of Paul’s deficiencies, he loved his son. Julie was happy that she and Paul kept a cordial relationship. She could wish all she wanted for Paul to be more mature, more reliable, more dependable. Then again, they were divorced for good reason. Paul might not have had full-blown Peter Pan syndrome, but indications of the condition were certainly there.

In college, Paul’s carefree attitude, his spontaneity, his joie de vivre, had captured Julie’s heart. Years later, and especially after Trevor was born, what had been endearing turned frustrating. Julie was all for carefree moments, but on a daily basis, what she wanted most was a partner.

Many of Julie’s friends admired her ability to keep the acrimony to a minimum. She simply felt that it served no purpose. Trevor benefited from having two parents actively involved in his life.

“You know I rarely speak to Karen since our split,” Sam said, “but when I do it’s a lot less friendly.”

“You don’t have kids with her, so there’s less of a reason to keep up friendly relations,” Julie replied.

Sam gazed out at the rambling water, looking a bit wistful. “When we got married, I thought kids were in the plan.”

“She thought you were going to go work for your father’s company and become obscenely rich. I’ve said it before. It’s not a coincidence that as soon as you decided to become a teacher, Karen decided she didn’t want kids. It was emotional blackmail, nothing more.”

Sam got that faraway look in his eyes again.

“I love what I do, but I regret not becoming a father.”

“You’re great with kids and with Trevor,” Julie said.

“Speaking of Trevor, I bought the wood for the table we’re going to make. I can’t say he seems super excited to help me, but he didn’t say no, either.”

“He’ll come around eventually,” Julie said. “This is hard for him. It’s a big adjustment for us all.”

“I know I’m not Trevor’s father, and I would never try to replace Paul,” Sam said, “but I’m going to treat him like a son. That’s a pledge and a promise.”

A lump wormed into Julie’s throat. “Just another reason why you’re the man for me,” she said.

They rode the rest of the byway and got lunch at a cute restaurant Sam had found on Yelp. The journey home was easy and wonderful. Julie rode alongside Sam whenever possible, and otherwise kept a safe distance behind him. For those few hours, all her worries about Trevor, the pressures of her job, nagging concerns about selling her home and moving in with Sam receded to the back of her mind. The road liberated her from anxiety. She loved the feel of her bike, and admittedly took pleasure in the looks she got from other motorists. Her engine hummed like a finely tuned instrument. The vibration against her hands relaxed her muscles.

Everything about that moment was perfect.