Never Have I Ever

Chapter 25 Almost, But Not Quite

Emma spun and tore through the crowd, desperate to get out of the gym as soon as humanly possible. A red haze swam before her eyes. Screw keeping tabs on the Twitter Twins. She needed some air.

She barely felt her hands pressing on the double doors or the cool night air on her skin. All around her was a cruelly beautiful pink Arizona sky. Ripped ticket stubs littered the sidewalk. Someone’s abandoned cat mask lay propped up against a tree. Heavy bass pulsated from inside the school, and every once in a while, there was a deafening crackle of fake thunder.

Slumping down on the bench nearest the courtyard, Emma placed her head in her hands. She’d been the one, after all, who’d put the brakes on things. But . . . Samantha? The girl who’d had her arrested? It was like a slap in the face.

The doors creaked open, and music from the dance wafted outside. When Emma turned and saw Ethan, she pretended to search for something in her bag. “Where’s your date?” she couldn’t help but snap.

“She’s . . . inside.” Ethan stood over her for a moment, waiting. Emma had plopped down in the middle of the bench, but she wasn’t about to shove over to make room for him. “Are you all right?”

Emma nodded stiffly. “Yep. Fine.”

“I was looking for you, but I didn’t see you with Madeline and the others,” Ethan said, removing his Robin Hood hat from his head. It was kind of ugly, Emma noted with satisfaction. It made him look like an elf.

“Well, have a nice night.” Emma knew how bitchy she sounded, but she couldn’t find it in her heart to be kind right now.

Ethan’s shoulders slumped. “Look. I think I know what’s bothering you.”

Emma looked away. “It doesn’t matter.” She absolutely wasn’t going to talk about this.

“Sam’s really nice, once you get to know her.”

Emma wanted to throw her Sherlock Holmes pipe at his head. So she was Sam now?

“And I spoke to her about you,” Ethan added. “She’s willing to drop all the shoplifting charges. No juvie, no community service, no permanent record.”

Emma snorted. “Was that the trade-off? You take her to the dance, she lets me walk? How nice of you. How martyrlike.”

Ethan shook his head. “Is this what you’re like when you’re jealous?” A look crossed his face that Emma couldn’t quite decipher. “You’re more like Sutton than you think,” he said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Ethan crossed his arms over his chest. “You told me you just wanted to be friends. Is that what you want?”

Inside the gym, the DJ put on a song by the Black Eyed Peas. The music sounded hollow, empty. Emma reached under her blazer and cupped her hand around Sutton’s locket. “I don’t know,” she muttered.

Ethan lowered himself to the pavement until his face was level with hers. His eyes were soft and round. The setting sun cast sharp shadows on his cheekbones. Emma could smell his signature Ethan-ish scent, a mix of deodorant, freshly laundered clothes, and spearmint. She tried hard to keep her face impassive. She didn’t want him to know what she was feeling.

“I thought that was what I wanted,” Emma finally said, taking a deep breath. “It just seemed . . . easier. Safer. But now I’m not sure about anything.”

Ethan stared at the back of his hands.

Say something, anything, Emma silently pleaded, closing her eyes.

“There you are.”

Emma’s eyes flew open. The double doors had swung wide, and a girl in a long, dark wig stood on the sidewalk. Ethan shot away from Emma like a bullet fired from a gun. “Sam,” he said.

“I was looking for you.” Samantha’s gray eyes were cold. Her boobs looked weirdly squished in her corset. When she saw Emma, her scowl turned her pretty features into an ugly mask.

“We were just talking,” Ethan blurted, moving to Samantha and taking her arm. “I was about to come in and look for you.”

Samantha pivoted toward the door. “C’mon. Let’s dance.” She gave Emma an icy wave and pulled Ethan back into the gym. Ethan looked over his shoulder and met Emma’s gaze.

A small squeak escaped Emma’s mouth, but when she tried to say more, nothing came out. When they were gone, she pulled the detective hat off her head and mashed it between her hands.

Bing. Sutton’s phone chimed inside Emma’s bag. If it was a text from Ethan, Emma was going to throw the phone into the fountain in the middle of the courtyard. But instead, the text was from Madeline. WHERE ARE YOU, BITCH? WE MISS YOU! YOU DIDN’T MAKE A SECRET GETAWAY WITHOUT US, DID YOU?

Another clap of thunder sounded from the gym. Emma stood up, resolute. Ethan’s non-answer wasn’t going to ruin her night.

She hit REPLY. ON MY WAY BACK INSIDE. After adding a tongue-wagging smiley, she hit SEND. Forget Ethan. Forget love. She had two twins to watch.