CHAPTER NINE

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

Ryder kicked open the heavy, gleaming silver door, figuring that the room inside would be a lab. A narrow bed waited in the middle of the room under bright lights. Not so much a bed as an exam table. Trays of instruments were scattered around the room.

Handcuffs?

I hate this place.

But he had to take care of Sabine and he had to do it now.

Carefully, he put her on the bed. His teeth clenched as a pain-filled gasp slipped from her lips. The werewolf—yeah, that guy who’d attacked her had been a freaking werewolf, just one not quite like any shifter that Ryder had ever seen before—had done a number on her. She was bleeding out right before his eyes.

“I want you to drink my blood,” he told her. Ryder caught her chin. Forced her gaze up to his. That gaze was so weak. No flames. Just darkness. “Sabine,” he snapped out her name, trying to force her focus back to him.

Only she didn’t focus on him.

She didn’t focus on anything. Her eyes began to roll back into her head. No! He used his teeth to tear open his wrist, then he shoved his hand toward her mouth.

“Vampire . . .” A woman’s voice sighed out the title. “This didn’t work before. Why would you think it would save her now?”

His head whipped to the left. A redhead stood in the doorway. A female with cold, perfect features wearing a white lab coat. Correction, a bloodstained white coat.

The woman sagged against the wall. Then she tried to push forward as she took a step toward him.

“Who are you?” Ryder demanded even as he kept his wrist at Sabine’s mouth. He wasn’t giving up. He’d never give up on her.

“I’m Vivian . . . Dr. Vivian Sutton . . . and I can save your phoenix. You . . . help me . . .” Vivian offered, breath heaving and her face tightening with a flash of pain, “I’ll help you.”

Ryder’s gaze fell back at Sabine’s still face.

“The tears . . . are they still on her cheeks?” The doctor tried to keep her voice flat, but Ryder heard the crack of emotion. Desperate hope. “I saw . . . the footage from the security camera. She cried for you.” Her footsteps shuffled closer. “Are the tear tracks . . . still there?”

He didn’t answer. He knew what the woman wanted.

The tears were the cure. Wyatt’s words.

And Sabine’s tears—they healed me. When he’d been in that hallway, it hadn’t been her blood that had brought him back. It had been her tears. So that part of the phoenix story was true, too. The tears of a phoenix could heal.

He glanced over at Vivian. “You’re dying,” he said to the doctor. There was so much blood pouring off her. She probably only had minutes left.

Her chin lifted. “So, is . . . she . . .”

Sabine’s lips feathered over Ryder’s palm. Maybe she isn’t.

“The tears . . . they can’t, won’t heal a phoenix’s own injuries, but they can heal me.” The woman came closer, leaving drops of blood in her wake. “They can heal me . . . then I can heal her.”

The fingers of his left hand slid over Sabine’s cheek. So soft. Sweet silk. He’d missed her so much. A constant ache had filled his chest.

It wasn’t about Sabine being some kind of second chance at redemption for him. It was about Sabine being—

Mine.

“The male . . . he would never cry—”

“No matter how many times you killed him, huh?” Ryder threw at her.

Sabine’s lips moved against him again. Then her teeth—sharper than he remembered, bit into his wrist.

Yes!

But he didn’t let the doctor see his relief.

“She was different . . .” Those footsteps kept shuffling closer. “Sabine cried each time she died.”

The fucking bitch dared to tell him that?

“She begged for us to save her . . . Sometimes, she’d even beg for you.”

His teeth snapped together. The woman was digging her own grave with her clinical, sadistic words.

“Then she’d cry when she rose.” Her breath heaved out. The scent of blood deepened. “Maybe it’s because she was so young. The first phoenix we captured, hell, we can’t . . . even tell how old he is. The Immortal,” Vivian whispered.

The Immortal? Was she talking about Cain?

“He didn’t break. Subject Thirteen . . . didn’t break, either . . .”

Fuck. Cain was Subject Thirteen. So that meant, hell, there was another phoenix lurking around someplace?

“They didn’t break. Sh-she did. And I need her tears . . . need more of them . . .”

Ryder kept his hand at Sabine’s mouth, but he sensed the attack coming from the doctor. He waited, waited, then he twisted his body. His left hand came up and caught the stake that the bitch had tried to shove into him. “I’m not drugged,” he gritted out. “I’m not in a cage. So you can’t control me, and you sure as hell can’t kill me.”

He snapped the stake in his hand. His gaze drifted over her as his nostrils flared. “You took a shot in the chest, huh? From one of the monsters or from your own guards?” Because they’d broken. He’d seen them. Shooting at anything or anyone who got between them and the red exit signs.

When the prisoners broke free and you’d been the one playing jailer and executioner, you had to know your ass was about to get tortured before death. Run, run, humans. Run.

But wherever they ran, the monsters would find them.

“You’re already dead,” Ryder told her, because the wound to her chest was too deep. “And it’s an easier death than you probably deserve.”

He pushed her away.

But she shook her head. “Th-there’s a syringe. A formula . . . it can stop the fire from consuming her!”

Desperation shook the words. A desperate woman would say anything, especially if she thought her lies would help her to keep living.

“Give me your . . . blood!” Vivian’s voice was weakening. “Give it to me . . . and I will give you . . . the formula . . .”

Ryder stared at her, barely holding back his fury. If Sabine didn’t need to keep feeding from him . . .

His jaw locked and he managed to growl, “The fire won’t take her.”

Vivian shook her head. “It will! Your blood . . . won’t stop her change, it won’t—”

“Three times,” he said.

She shook her head again.

“For humans, it just takes one blood exchange for the transformation.” For a human to take a last gasp of air as a mortal, and to awake as a vampire.

Her eyes widened. “You didn’t—”

“For Sabine, since she was far from human, it took three exchanges.” Maybe because her DNA was so strong. The vampire blood had needed time to sink into her cells. To bond. But the proof was unmistakable. When he glanced over her body, he saw that her wounds were closing. She was drinking his blood. She had fangs. Her teeth were sharper because they weren’t normal canines any longer. His Sabine had transformed with this blood exchange.

He hadn’t managed to stop her from dying that first terrible night in his cell. But Sabine would never die again.

His blood guaranteed it.

He didn’t expect Vivian to charge at him. But she did. With an infuriated scream, the redhead slammed into him and tried to pull Ryder away from Sabine. “Stop!” Vivian shrieked. “You’re ruining her!”

With his left hand, he shoved her back, and never took his right wrist from Sabine’s mouth. “I’m saving her. She doesn’t want the fire.” And how did Vivian have this strength? With that bullet wound to her chest, she should be barely managing to stay upright.

Not attacking.

“You’ll make her . . . less . . .” The last word was a hiss.

He stiffened. “You have five seconds to get out of here, or I’ll kill you.” He never liked hurting women, but that Vivian—she’d hurt Sabine. The doctor was already dying.

“Bastard!” But Vivian’s feet stumbled toward the door. “You’ll regret this! She’ll…hate you! She had the power of a god . . . and you’re turning her into just another . . . bl-bloodsucker!”

His head turned. His gaze met hers. “You should be on the ground. Choking on your own blood.” The wound had slowed her, yes, it was bleeding, almost gushing blood, but . . . Calculation had his eyes narrowing. “What are you, doctor? Are you an experiment, too, like Wyatt was?”

“W-was?” Her lips trembled. Grief flashed in her eyes.

He offered her a cold smile. “Guess you didn’t watch that part on the security footage, huh? Go upstairs. See him for yourself.”

She turned and fled. Still moving too damn fast.

But he didn’t care about her. He only cared about Sabine. He looked back at her. Im-fucking-possible, because he’d never seen a vamp heal so quickly, but her wounds had already closed. Her cheeks were pink.

The third time had been the charm. She was locked with him now. Tied—body, blood, and soul.

He wasn’t ever going to let her go. He didn’t think that he could. Ryder’s need for her had grown too strong.

As he stared at her, Sabine’s eyelashes flickered.

“Look at me, love,” he whispered as he leaned over her. “Let me make sure you’re still with me.”

Her mouth pulled away from his wrist. He didn’t even glance at the wound. Her lashes lifted, and her dark eyes stared back at him.

No fire was in that gaze.

Just a darkness that seemed to see into his soul. The dark had never looked so warm or beautiful.

“Ryder?” She whispered his name. “What—where are we?” Then her eyes widened as she jerked upright. Her hand flew to her stomach. “He—he gutted me!”

Ryder wrapped his arms around her. Pulled her close to his chest. “You’re safe.”

But she shook against him. “I know this place . . . they used to experiment on me here.”

Fuck that. He lifted her into his arms. “We’re getting the hell out of here. No one is ever going to experiment on you again. I won’t let anyone hurt you.” A vow.

Her hands curled around his neck. “I feel . . . strange.”

Because her body was transitioning. He’d heard of a few shifters being transformed over the years. Once they’d become vampires, they’d never been able to call up their beasts again.

Some said vampirism was a virus. An infection that spread with the exchange of blood. Humans were easily infected. Other paranormals just weren’t as susceptible to the virus.

“You’ve lost a lot of blood,” he told her, not wanting to explain what he’d done. Not then. “But you’ll be okay.”

Her head rested over his heart. “The fire was coming for me, but you stopped it.”

His hold on her tightened.

“Thank you.”

After all that had happened, the last thing she needed to do was thank him. When she realized that she was a vamp, Ryder knew she wouldn’t exactly be thrilled.

Not when Sabine just wanted her human life back. How many times had she told him that she just wanted to go home?

He didn’t speak as he carried her from the room. There was a thick blood trail in the hall. As if someone’s bleeding body had been dragged away. There was also no sign of Vivian.

Growls and shouts could still be heard coming from the building. Smoke drifted in the air, and the crackle of flames grew louder.

Maybe the other phoenix had decided to burn this place to the ground. It seemed a fitting retribution.

Ryder held tight to Sabine and made his way from the wreckage and the hell. No one stopped him. No guards appeared with their guns. The guards who hadn’t died had all run by now. And the paranormals left knew better than to fuck with him. Especially when he had his mate in his arms.

She is mine. To him, the truth was undeniable. Always.

Now, he just had to make Sabine realize that she needed him, too.


The vampire came at her, with his deadly claws and his too-sharp teeth. Vivian screamed, but there was no one to help her. No one to care.

When he opened his mouth and gave a guttural cry, she saw the vamp’s teeth—every tooth was razor-sharp. Not just his canines. Every. Single. One.

She kicked and she punched, but he just held her with hands that bruised and knife-like claws that cut.

Vivian knew what he was. He was one of the freaks. One of the “bad experiments” that should never have seen the light of day. Wyatt had told her that most of the primal vampires had died in a recent fire, but this one—

“We wanted to help you!” she yelled. Not we, but Wyatt. He had wanted to help them . . .

The primal vampire’s teeth sank into her throat.

The pain made her body jerk and shudder. She was going to die. She knew it. Her body could only survive for so long. She wasn’t a vampire. Not a shifter. She just—

The vampire fell away from her, choking.

Vivian’s hand went to her throat. Her blood trickled down her neck.

The vampire’s face had twisted. He had his hands on his stomach, and he was the one screaming then. In agony.

Her breath rushed out. It had worked. Wyatt had told her . . . he’d said his blood was poison to the primal vampires. He’d said—

She lifted her hand. Stared at the bright red blood on her fingertips. I’m poison, too.

Wyatt had never appreciated the power that he possessed. She’d watched him. Seen so much.

He didn’t die from gunshot wounds. Could move so quickly. Was so strong.

She’d found the records on his experiments. She hadn’t been able to duplicate them perfectly, but she’d come pretty close with her own formula.

A tightness filled her chest. The gunshot wound was finally closing.

Vivian stared at the drops of blood on her fingers. It looked like she had gotten closer to that duplication than she’d realized.

She laughed then because she was going to survive. The vampires couldn’t hurt her. With her new power, no one could hurt—

The primal vampire grabbed her and wrapped his hands around her throat. Vivian struggled to suck in air. She couldn’t breathe, she—

The vampire burned in front of her. Firing up instantly, then turning to ash. The ash drifted over her as she screamed.

Then she realized that death was before her.

The Immortal. She’d never been allowed to get close to him, no one had, because the man had been deemed so dangerous, but she’d seen his picture before.

He stood before her, just a foot away. His eyes burned with flames. His skin was burnished a deep gold. His hair was pitch-black. He watched her. He smiled. He lifted his hand to her—

“No!” Vivian yelled.

“Why?” He seemed curious. “You enjoyed giving death to others.”

She shook her head, frantic. She tried to back away, but the wall was behind her. “Y-you shouldn’t be out!” They’d had him locked up so tight. No escape.

He shrugged. His gaze fell to her chest. No, to her healing gunshot wound. “And you should be dead. Been experimenting on yourself, hmm?” He lifted a brow. His hand was still between them. “I guess you’ll only have yourself to blame for what’s coming.”

“Don’t touch me!”

He glanced at his raised hand. “Are you sure? I don’t think you’re going to like what happens next. Death will be easier.”

“I don’t want to die!” Why was her stomach suddenly cramping? Her teeth burning?

His head cocked. “I think you got the formula . . . wrong.”

Her breath seemed cold in her lungs.

“Your blood was poison, but you weren’t immune to their bite. That part—you made the mistake there.”

How did he even know this?

“You’re becoming like them.”

Hunger clawed at her. Ripped her in two. Her gaze fell to his throat as a red haze seemed to cloud her vision. She could hear his heartbeat. The rush of his blood.

Blood. Her mouth had become bone-dry.

“The change is faster than I thought it would be.”

Feed.

She lunged for him.

And never even felt the fire that took her life away.


Ryder braked the pickup truck in front of a small wooden cabin. A stream trickled nearby, the faint sound of the water teasing Sabine’s ears.

“Where are we?” she asked.

Ryder glanced at her. “Somewhere safe, for now.”

She wanted to believe that, but “safe” wasn’t exactly a concept she understood anymore. Compounding her fear, she felt so weak.

She climbed from the truck and put up her hand to block the bright rays of the sun. So bright. Too bright? Probably just seemed that way because she hadn’t seen the sun in such a long time. The folks at Genesis hadn’t exactly been keen on letting the test subjects out for morning strolls.

That’s over now. I’m free.

Ryder took her arm. “Come on, let’s get you inside so you can rest.”

She nodded. But resting wasn’t what she felt like doing then. She was tired, yes, achingly so, but at the same time, just the touch of his hand against her arm had sent a shaft of desire pulsing through Sabine’s body.

What was up with that? After everything that had happened, the last thing she should be thinking about was sex. Yet it was the main thing that pushed into her mind.

Need.

Want.

Ryder opened the cabin door. It was darker inside, but the sun’s rays spilled through the windows and let her see the small space easily. A small space that was filled with a very big bed. One that looked like heaven. Her gaze darted around. A couch. A TV.

A bathroom. Sweet heaven on earth—a bathroom.

“Are you hungry?” Ryder asked her, his voice quiet as he shut the door behind them.

Sabine shook her head but part of her was hungry. Just not for food. She glanced over at him. Licked her lips.

Her heartbeat kicked up. And her nipples tightened.

What. The. Hell. This kind of reaction couldn’t be normal. She’d heard of an adrenaline after-burn before, but after-lust?

“I-I think I need a shower,” she said. A very cold one. She’d just broken out of hell, and the first thing she wanted to do? Jump the bones of her vampire rescuer. That had to be screwed up.

Screwed. Her eyelids slammed closed. Okay, she was obviously undergoing some kind of breakdown because now she was thinking . . .

I want to screw him. Not make love. She wasn’t in the mood for soft and gentle lovemaking. She wanted rough and wild. She wanted to rake her nails down his back. Wanted to feel the pounding rhythm of—

“Sabine?”

Her cheeks were burning. No, she was burning, from the inside out. She kept her eyes closed because she was afraid that he’d see the fire in her stare. “Something’s wrong with me.” Her voice was hushed as she whispered this raw confession.

Her clothes were irritating her body. She wanted them gone. Wanted only his flesh against her.

This wasn’t natural. Sure, she liked sex as much as the next girl. But right then, hell, she felt like she was in heat.

Heat. Great. Fantastic. That was probably normal for a phoenix, right? Another fun side effect that she could deal with?

She heard the tread of his footsteps then felt the light brush of his fingers over her cheek. “You’re sure you aren’t hungry?”

Why did he keep harping on that? “Not for food,” was her whisper.

Crap, she hadn’t just meant to say that.

His fingers slid under her chin. “I can give you whatever you need.”

The man needed to be careful what he offered. They’d been away from Genesis for just a few hours, and she was about to rip his clothes off.

“I think—I think you might want to get away from me.” She curled her fingers down, making fists. The better not to grab him and hold tight.

“That’s the last thing I want to do.” Then Ryder made a very, very fatal mistake.

He put his lips on her.

Ignite.

Fire seemed to explode within her. With a gasp, she gave in to that heat. Her hands flew up and wrapped around him. Her mouth opened wide beneath his.

His tongue touched hers. Light, gentle.

Hell, no.

“I want more,” she whispered against his mouth. She had to have more. She was desperate. Too wild. Nothing could hold back the fire.

She didn’t want to hold it back.

Then his hands were on her ass—yes!—and he was pulling her up tight against him. There was no missing the full, thick length of his arousal. She rubbed against him, wanting more and then—

He lifted her into the air. Her legs locked around him, and she kept her mouth on his. He was carrying her someplace—the guy seemed to like doing that, and, hey, if it floated his boat . . .

She nipped his bottom lip. It was his turn to growl. She liked that rough, animalistic sound from him.

“Hold on, love, hold on.”

She wanted to hold on to him, but he’d taken her into the bathroom. He eased her back onto her feet. Yanked on the water. Oh, that shower was lush. Given the size of the cabin, she hadn’t expected this paradise. Big, granite, with steaming water that poured out instantly, the shower was pretty close to a dream.

And, yes, okay, she had dried blood on her clothes. On her. Not exactly sexy. Jumping into the shower with him seemed like a fine idea to her.

Sabine started to strip.

Ryder exhaled on a long breath and took a step back. He was . . . watching her.

She offered him a fast smile. One that she hoped looked sexy and not as sex-crazed as she actually felt. “You don’t have to just watch.” She tossed her clothes onto the floor. “I’d love it if you touched, too.” In fact, she had to feel his fingers against her skin.

Ryder all but ripped his own clothes away, then his hands—big, strong, yes!—were on her. Caressing her breasts. Teasing her nipples. She and Ryder stumbled into the shower. The water was heaven. The steam whispered against her lips when she breathed his name.

He lifted her up. She was seriously loving his strength. Then his mouth closed around her breast. Her breath hissed out between her teeth. His tongue rasped over her nipple. The steam didn’t seem to just be coming from the water then. It seemed to be rising right off her skin.

He sucked her breast. Kissed. Nipped lightly. She twisted against him because he had her body aching. She wanted more. Her fingers sank into his hair. The water streamed down their bodies. “Ryder . . .”

She needed relief. Her sex was so eager for him. Forget the first-base routine. She wanted to head right for home plate.

She bent her head and put her mouth on his skin. Bite. She’d never had the urge to bite anyone before. But in that instant, the urge was so strong. Too strong to ignore.

Sabine bit him. Not hard enough to break the skin. Just hard enough to show him . . . I want to be wild.

He shuddered beneath her. Then his head was lifting. He pushed her back against the tiled shower wall. Her toes curled in the stream of water.

“Spread your legs.” Guttural.

Right, like she had to be told twice. Um, and, yeah, they actually were already parted but she could spread them a little bit more for him.

His hand drifted down her stomach. Her breath came faster. “Don’t play,” she told him, tossing back her wet hair. “Touch me.”

His fingers slid between her legs. Found the center of her need. Her toes stopped curling. Mostly because she’d just jumped right up on her toes as her body went bow-tight.

He stroked her lightly. That wasn’t enough. But then . . .

Then he pushed one finger into her.

“Tight,” his growl. “Hot.”

Yes, she was pretty much burning alive right then. And the fire used to scare her?

No, this fire is different. This wasn’t about flames. It was about lust and need and pleasure.

He worked a second finger into her. Sabine had to bite her lip to hold back her cry. Not of pain. Not even close.

His fingers slid out. Pushed back inside.

His thumb brushed against her clit.

Every muscle in her body tightened. She’d never been one to build quickly to orgasm but . . .

He withdrew those fingers, thrust them into her once more, stroked over her clit, and she broke.

Broke into what felt like a hundred pieces as pleasure crashed over her. She yelled his name. Let her nails dig into his flesh. Her body pulsed and throbbed and the pleasure wasn’t ending because he had his hands around her waist now. He’d lifted her again, positioned her, and the head of his cock drove into her core.

Her legs clamped tightly around his hips. His mouth was at her throat. His teeth grazing over her skin. He withdrew and thrust, and her back pushed harder against the tile.

The pleasure kept building, so much pleasure that she could barely breathe.

His teeth sank into her neck. His cock pushed into her body. He had her positioned so that every stroke took the length of his cock over her sensitive flesh, over her clit once more. Her eyes squeezed shut. She’d never felt anything like this before.

She’d died. Known pain and fear and hell.

This . . . this was consuming. Every breath was paradise. Every move, pleasure.

The sensations built, crested, and she lost her breath as the climax peaked.

Ryder was with her. He thrust deep once more. Shuddered. “Sabine.” No one had ever said her name like that. Like it was life.

His head had lifted. She forced her eyes open. Pleasure. That was all she saw on his face. Blind pleasure.

The same thing she felt.

The steam drifted around them. Their heartbeats raced. Her sex was trembling with little after-bursts from her climax. In her whole life, she’d never, ever had sex like this.

Her body was trembling, and in the aftermath of so much pleasure, Sabine found that she felt vulnerable.

His lips brushed hers.

Her legs eased down his hips. “Ryder . . .” How did she explain that she wasn’t usually like this? For a while there, it had been as if someone else took control of her. She’d only known need and lust.

The ache inside had been satisfied. Her control was back.

Her feet slid against the tile. Ryder kept a steady hold on her as he turned off the water. The shower’s drip-drip-drip seemed too loud to her ears.

He stared down at her, frowning a bit. “You didn’t . . .”

Um, yeah, she most definitely had. “That was more pleasure than I’d ever had before.”

But he shook his head, his gaze centered on her mouth. She licked her lips, and enjoyed it when his pupils expanded, showing his desire.

His fingers rose and brushed over her lips. “You didn’t take my blood.”

Um, yeah. Because that wasn’t exactly sexy times for her. She loved it when he bit her—and wasn’t that a huge change from their first meeting?—because his bite sent her body into pleasure overdrive.

“You don’t have fangs.” He sounded shocked.

She blinked up at him. Not exactly the after-sex conversation she’d thought would come. “This surprises you because . . . ?”

“Because you had them before.” His hand dropped. “What the hell is going on?”

Because you had them before. Suddenly some of that wonderful afterglow was fading.

Drip-drip-drip. The dripping water grated on her nerves. She pushed past him. Reached for a towel and wrapped it around her body. “Ryder . . .”

“I changed you.”

She shook her head, hoping to deny his words. “No, that’s not true.”

He followed her out of the shower. Stalked right after her as she walked—backward—out of the bathroom. She wanted to keep her eyes on him.

“You didn’t want to burn again.” His words were deep and dark and he watched her with a gaze still filled with lust.

She tightened her grip on the towel. She clearly remembered the not-wanting-to-burn part. “My injuries weren’t that bad. I just got better.” That was the reason the flames had faded away. Not because of-of any change. I don’t want to be a vampire. Being a phoenix was bad enough. Becoming a full-time blood drinker? No, thank you.

“Stir the fire,” he rasped.

Sabine blinked.

“Stir the fire.”

She lifted her hands. Thought of the flames. The white-hot fire.

Nothing happened.

Her hand fisted.

“You can’t,” Ryder said grimly. “I told you . . . you changed.

Her tongue slid over the edge of her teeth. They were normal. Not fangs. Sabine shook her head.

“You asked me to help you,” he said. His hands were clenched at his sides. His body nude, powerful. Sexy.

Sabine forced her gaze to meet his. She had asked him to help her. She remembered her desperate plea. She’d begged for his help, even as she knew that . . .

I’m dying again.

“I go to hell,” she whispered this confession as she stared into his eyes. “The fire is so hot. It burns my flesh away. Pulls up some beast that’s buried inside of me. The fire won’t let me go. It surrounds me, it—”

He stalked forward and caught her arms. “You never have to feel that fire again. You’ll never die again. Never age. Never get sick.”

Because I’m a vampire? She’d just traded one monster for another. Her heart raced. But . . . “I don’t have fangs.” Her teeth were just normal.

“They’ll grow, sharpen, when you need to feed.”

She forced herself to keep holding his gaze. “I don’t need to feed.” The last thing she wanted to do was sink her teeth into someone’s throat. She’d nipped him during sex but that had just been rough foreplay.

Right?

“Maybe you still have enough of my blood in you. When humans change, the first things they want to do are feed and fuck.”

She flinched. Um, yes, she’d sure had the fucking part down. She’d never felt a need so intense. It had taken her over. Dominated her every cell. She’d needed him, quite simply, more than she’d needed breath right then.

Was that really me? Or did those doctors do something to me? They’d injected her so many times with who the hell knew what when she’d been held captive.

“You were never human, so it only stands to reason that your body wouldn’t react the same way to the change.” His fingers were rubbing small circles on her arms. Did he realize that? She did. She liked it. Found the caress soothing. “It took three exchanges to convert you,” he said as a frown pulled his brows low. “With a human, it just takes one.”

Faint suspicion hummed in her mind. “You were trying to change me, from the beginning.” Don’t be true. Don’t be. Her heart wasn’t just racing. It was hurting. I trusted him. Even with my fear, I thought he was helping me.

His expression was blank, but his eyes were full of need. “The first time I gave you my blood, I wanted to keep you alive. That was my only goal. I never meant to take so much from you.”

Ah, and she heard the guilt there. It would probably always be there.

“I thought that if I’d just given you more, you would have transformed. Wyatt stopped me, and I figured the change didn’t occur because you didn’t get enough of my blood.”

But then he’d given more blood to her later. She pulled away from him. “You were trying to change me.” It had been deliberate. The blood drinking. The seduction. He’d pulled her in. Gotten her to trust him.

Why hadn’t he told her that she’d change? Why hadn’t he just told her what was happening?

“You didn’t want to be a phoenix,” he reminded her, voice flat. “I gave you what you wanted. If you hadn’t been hurt, if you hadn’t been lying there, dying right in front of me, I wouldn’t have gone for the transformation. Dammit, believe me!

“I couldn’t let you die again. You didn’t want death, and in that moment, Sabine, I would have traded anything—even the last bit of my black soul—to make sure that you didn’t burn again.”

Her mouth was dry.

“I just wanted to save you,” he rasped. “I haven’t saved many in my life.”

“Why am I special?” She hadn’t meant to ask that, had she?

His gaze held her prisoner. “Because I look at you, and I see the one person that I want most in this world.”

Oh, okay, that was not what—

Ryder gave a sharp, negative shake of his head. “It’s more. I look at you, and you remind me . . . you make me long for everything I lost so long ago.”

Her breath whispered out. “What did you lose?”

“Happiness. Hope. Peace.” A muscle jerked along his jaw. “And when I look at you, I see all of those things.”

The vampire had just stunned her.

“So, no,” now his voice roughened. “I wasn’t just going to stand there and let you burn, not when you were begging me to save you. Maybe it’s not the method you had in mind, but the blood exchange was the only option I had available to me.” His shoulders straightened. “And to be damn honest, if I had to do it all over again, I’d still try to change you. If that meant you didn’t burn, I’d do it again.”

She didn’t know what to say to that. He was right. She’d hated the fire. Hated dying, coming back, and not knowing anything.

Except she’d remembered him. Even after all of the flames and death, his image had come to her. Whispered through her mind. Her vampire.

Sexy. Dangerous. So compelling.

Powerful enough to push through the fire.

A vampire.

And I’m one now, too?

“Come to bed with me,” he murmured the words as his head bent and his lips feathered over her cheek. “You’ve been through hell.”

No, to hell.

But he was so tempting. Still naked. All of those rippling muscles. That thick cock. Gorgeous male.

“I can help you when the hunger comes.”

Fucking and feeding. That was what vampires did, right? The pleasure that had rocked through her before suddenly had her feeling shamed.

She’d had no control. Been just like an animal. Biting. Clawing. Would it always be that way? And when she did crave blood, would she be as desperate to satisfy her blood hunger as she’d been when she’d wanted sex with him?

What if she killed someone? Took too much?

“Sabine.”

Her lashes lifted. He stared at her with such care in his eyes.

“I will help you.”

She thought he might be the only one who could. It wasn’t like she had some kind of supernatural Rolodex. He was the strongest paranormal that she knew, and, despite everything . . .

I feel safe with him.

“If you really want to help me”—she drew in a deep breath—“then take me home.”

She had to see her family. Had to make sure that her brother was safe.

But Ryder shook his head, and, with regret pulling at his handsome face, he told her, “I’m sorry, love, but you can’t go home again.”

Her eyes narrowed. The hell I can’t.

And Sabine knew that her time with the sexy vamp had come to an end.

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