Perfect People

61

In the car afterwards, Naomi and John sat for some moments in stunned silence. John put the key in the ignition but did not turn the engine on; instead he rested his hands in his lap. The car shimmied in the wind.

Precocious puberty.

Naomi shook her head, staring at the rain-crazed windscreen.

Bone age will be advanced and serum oestrogens will be in the pubertal or adult range. Oestrogen halts growth. Many children with this syndrome are likely to end up with stunted growth. Early development of breasts. Untreated, a five-year-old girl will have the sexual maturity of a teenager.

‘The pills will work,’ John said. ‘Don’t worry.’

‘He said they might work. They might slow down this syndrome, but they won’t cure it, John, that’s what he said. Sometimes it helps, that’s what he said. Sometimes. ’

‘At least it’s not life-threatening.’ Then, after some moments, he added, ‘And – everyone is telling us how big they are for their age. Phoebe wouldn’t be this big if she had stunted growth.’

‘And Luke? Why is he so big?’

‘I don’t know. I don’t know why either of them are.’

‘Dr Otterman said the children have physiology closer to three – even four – years old, not two.’

‘But he did say their rate of growth will probably slow down.’

‘And if it doesn’t?’ she asked.

‘I’m sure it will,’ John said.

‘What makes you so sure, John? The integrity of Dr Dettore? That fills you with confidence, does it?’

He said nothing.

‘I want the children to have every possible medical test,’ Naomi went on. ‘I want to find out just what other surprises we are in for; what else that madman has done to them.’

John started the engine and began manoeuvring the Saab out of the parking space. He spoke quietly. ‘Dr Otterman said this won’t affect her, and she will be able to lead a normal life.’

‘For most women, John, leading a normal life means having children. Do you have any idea how she is going to feel when she reaches her teens and all her friends are entering their prime? When she starts dating? What happens when she falls in love? How is she going to explain to someone in twenty years’ time, Oh, by the way, I had my first period when I was not quite two years old and went through the menopause when I was fourteen? ’

‘He didn’t say that, hon. He said this condition doesn’t affect the menopause, that she wouldn’t have an early menopause.’

‘He didn’t know, John. He said he would know more after the scan. He said no two cases were ever exactly the same.’ She rummaged in her handbag, pulled out a pack of tissues and blew her nose. ‘ Stunted growth. That’s great. After telling Dettore we wanted our son to be tall, our daughter is going to be a dwarf.’

‘You’re worrying at the moment that she’s too big for her age. She’s not going to be a dwarf.’

‘How do you know?’

‘Look, there will be a lot of advances in medicine over the next twenty years – if we find out that-’

‘Sure,’ she said, interrupting him. ‘And Phoebe is a victim of one of them. Great to know that our daughter is a guinea pig – and a freak.’

‘I think freak is a strong word. She’s not a freak.’

‘So what is she? What euphemism would you like? Maturity challenged? Vertically challenged? Perhaps it’s a little too realistic a word. But that’s what she is, John, that’s the reality we have to face. Courtesy of Dr Dettore, our life savings and loans from my family, we have produced a freak. How does that make you feel?’

‘Would you rather she hadn’t been born? That neither of them had been born?’

‘I don’t know. I don’t know what I feel. Tell me what you feel – I never know what you are thinking.’

‘All I ever wanted was-’ He lapsed into silence.

‘Was what, John? What was it you wanted? Tell me, I’m all ears. And you ought to put the wipers on, might help you see where we’re going.’

He put the wipers on then pulled out into the street. ‘I don’t know,’ he said, after a while. ‘I don’t know what the hell I wanted. I guess, just the best for our kids, for you and I, I just tried to do the best for us.’

‘Is that what you’d like to think?’

‘What do you mean by that?’

‘Did you really want to do the best for us? Or did you want to satisfy your cravings as a scientist?’

He braked more harshly than he needed at the end of the street. ‘You don’t trust me, do you?’

‘I don’t know what I think any more, John.’

‘That’s very hurtful.’

She shrugged.

‘Naomi, I’ve always told you the truth. When I first found out about Dr Dettore, I told you everything I knew, and I warned you there would be a risk in going to him. We both agreed to take a chance.’

‘Maybe you didn’t spell it out quite loudly enough,’ she said bitterly.

‘Perhaps you didn’t listen quite hard enough,’ he replied gently.

She turned and stared at him. Stared at the man she had once loved madly, wildly, crazily. The man she had been through so much with. The man who had given her the strength to get beyond the loss of their son, and the will to go on living.

Stared at him with a hatred so intense that if she’d had a knife in her hand, she honestly believed at this moment she could have stabbed him with it.