Rakkety Tam

18

Yoofus Lightpaw was really enjoying himself. He lay flat on the high bough of an alder, watching Gulo the Savage and his vermin band scouring the woodlands beneath. The water vole was not only an expert thief but also a clever tactician. He knew that when he left the vermin camp carrying the objects he had stolen, the white foxes and ermine would be on his trail. So Yoofus left them a trail, not back to his dwelling on the lakeside but to a clear track to the east. It delighted him to play games: he would leave marks of the swordpoint scraping and the banner brushing. From his various secret spots throughout Mossflower, Yoofus would watch them getting more frustrated. Little did he realize that the trail he was leaving resembled that of a wolverine!

Fools and idiots—thinking that they were tracking him to his home! As long as they followed, Yoofus Lightpaw would lead them on a merry trail, and whenever they halted at night, he would sneak into their camp and steal some more booty.

Yoofus watched the vermin, figuring out his next move whilst murmuring softly to himself. “Ah, come on now, ye great thick-headed gobeens! I’ll be drawin’ rings around ye, an’ ye’ll never know how t’play me game. Sure, I think a little jaunt over the ditch an’ across the ould path is called for. That’ll wear yore paws down a bit. Ye’ll sleep all the better for it tonight, while I’m robbin’ ye!”

After the vermin had moved on, Yoofus came down from his perch. He could hear Gulo berating his creatures threateningly. “Gaarrr! Addlepates, bumblers! Find that trail, or ye’ll be leaving a trail of your own blood if ye try my patience further!”

Yoofus cut off in an arc, crossing the ditch and path ahead of the vermin scouts. He artfully laid fresh marks on the east side of the woodlands, scarring one or two trees with his stolen sickle blade and bruising some low bushes whilst dragging the flag over the grass. Then he backtracked to the path, shinned up a thick crack willow tree and peered at the leading scouts who were blundering about only a few spearlengths short of the ditch. Snapping the string on one of his purloined necklaces, the crafty water vole tossed shells and coloured stones down onto the path. He saved a few of the biggest beads and placed them in the tongue of his sling.

Grik, the ermine tracker, was foraging a few paces ahead of the rest when an amber bead struck him lightly on the footpaw. “Over here, he passed this way, look!”

The white fox captain, Urfig, rushed past Grik, scrambling his way over the ditch and onto the path. “Look, shells and beads! These are off my necklet. Dirig, hurry an’ tell Mighty Gulo that I have found the trail again. Methinks it goes east into this forest!”

In a short time, Gulo and his beasts were into the east forest, discovering the clues which Yoofus had left them.

The volethief descended from the willow, chuckling. “Off y’go now, ye ravin’ eejits, run y’selves ragged around the trees. Sure I’ll pay yez a call tonight, while yore all asleep!”

Yoofus recrossed the path and climbed down into the ditch. He settled down in safety to take a nap. Scarcely had he closed his eyes when he heard the sound of somebeasts coming down the path from the north. Keeping low, the water vole peered over the ditch edge.

Armel and Brooky had rope halters about their necks. Ferwul and Brugil, the two ermine scouts, were leading them. The squirrelmaid and the ottermaid were well hemmed in by Captain Shard and the rest of the vermin. The group halted, right opposite where Yoofus was crouching in the ditch.

Staring at the signs of recent disturbance on the path’s other side, Brugil seemed slightly bewildered. “Lord Gulo has taken the others east into these woodlands. But I thought that he was going to the Redwall place.”

Ferwul muttered under her breath, “Aye, an’ I thought we were ordered to go there also.”

Shard’s mate, Freeta, clipped the ermine scout’s ear sharply. “Thou art not here to think. Lord Gulo will wrest all the information he needs from these two—they are from the Redwall fortress. See how they are garbed alike?”

The white fox captain cut in abruptly. “Cease squabbling and lead on, you scouts. We go to join the Mighty Gulo!”

Shard let them go forward into the trees while he hung back with Freeta, whispering to her, “Say nought to Gulo, or anybeast, about this!”

Drawing his cloak back slightly, he revealed the cloth case enclosing Martin’s sword, which he had snatched from Armel.

The vixen touched her muzzle slyly. “The sword is far too valuable for others to see. It is our secret!”

Then Shard and his mate proceeded to follow the rest of the vermin gang east into Mossflower.

Yoofus relaxed. He sat down and took some food from a small wallet he carried on his belt. The volethief munched on his rations whilst he analysed what he had just witnessed. Yoofus often held conversations with himself; he found it easier to think that way.

“Ah now, the fox was right, indeed. Those maids both come from the Abbey. I’ve seen them meself when I’ve visited there t’borrow some o’ the grand ould fruit from their orchard. Sure they’re cunnin’ things, those foxes. I wonder what the big ’un had under his cloak? Well, no matter, I’ll find out this very night, when I pays him a visit. But ’tis a bit o’ shuteye I’m needin’ now, just to keep me wits sharp after dark.”

The little thief was never troubled by conscience. In a short time he was snoring like an innocent Dibbun, wrapped snugly in the flag, curled up on the ditch bed amid last autumn’s leaves, far from the questing vermin.

It came as a rude awakening when the point of a claymore tipped his nose. Two tough-looking squirrels, a hare and a hawk were standing over him.

Ever the quick-witted one, Yoofus smiled up at them. “Ah, isn’t it a grand ould day, t’be sure, sirs? Don’t mind me now, I’ll not block yore way. Just step over me tired carcase an’ carry on t’wherever yore bound!”

Doogy Plum hauled him upright. “Och, ye saucy wee maggot, where did ye get yon flag, eh?”

The thief’s agile brain was racing as he quickly put two and two together. He replied glibly, “Ah, ’tis not some coloured scrap o’ cloth yore after. We’ll discuss that later on, me friend. I think that you fine buckoes are on the trail o’ the dreadful-lookin’ beast they calls Mighty Gulo. Sure that’s a fine hifalutin’ name for any ould murderer, isn’t it?”

Tam smiled at the thief’s audacity. “Aye, we’ll talk about the flag later. Now, what about this Gulo? Surely you’ve seen him.”

Disengaging himself deftly from Doogy’s grip, Yoofus answered, “Ah, ye’d be right there, sir. As true as me name’s Yoofus Lightpaw, I’ve sighted the villain—him an’ his whole army o’ boyos. An’ I’ll tell ye somethin’ else, too. They’ve got with ’em two prisoners, River Rats, an’ haven’t they just captured another two pore creatures, an otter an’ a squirrel like y’self, sir. Both maids, from the Abbey of Redwall!”

Ferdimond’s jaw tightened. “Two Redwall maids? The dirty scum! Which way’ve they gone, Mister Lightpaw?”

The water vole winked. “If ye come with me, sir, I’ll show ye, so I will!”

Before they could stop him, the little thief had bounded out of the ditch, across the path and up into the high branches of the crack willow. Drawing his sickle sword, he danced about on the tree limb, waving the flag and brandishing his blade.

“Put a paw near me, any of ye, an’ I’ll rip this flag to bits an’ carve cobs of anybeast who tries t’get up here! I’m a desperate character when me fur’s stroked up the wrong way, so keep yore distance!”

Tam signalled his friends to stay in the ditch. “Leave this to me, mates!”

Standing at the foot of the tree, he called up to Yoofus, “Listen, friend, we don’t mean ye any harm. I’d like to have that flag, but there’s something of greater importance. We must free the two maids from those vermin. They’re slayers, an’ they eat the flesh of other creatures. I’d be grateful for your help, Yoofus.”

The water vole sat down on the branch, shaking his head. “Flesh eatin’s a terrible wicked thing. I’m no murderer, just a thief. I’ll tell ye what, though. Fair exchange is no robbery. I’ll give ye back yore flag an’ help ye to get the maids free, but we’ll call it a trade, see?”

Tam nodded willingly. “That sounds fair enough, but what d’ye want us to trade with?”

Yoofus wrinkled his nose coyly. “Sure I’ll throw in this fine curvy sword, too. How’ll that suit ye?”

Tam shrugged. “Ye still haven’t told us what you want to trade from us. Tell us what it is.”

The water vole dropped to a lower branch. “That’s a grand ould sword yore carryin’, sir, a good big straight ’un, wid a fine fanciful hilt to it. . . .”

Doogy scrambled out of the ditch. “Ach, he wants yer sword, Tam. Ye cannae part wi’ that!”

Tergen hobbled onto the path. “Kreeeek! No give sword, Burl. I kill that beast!”

Ferdimond nibbled at his lip. “But what about the maids?”

Yoofus pointed at the hare. “Isn’t he the wise one now! Give me the sword, an’ ye’ll be gainin’ yore flag, the lives of the two prisoners an’ me sword into the bargain. Either that, or ye get no flag, an’ those cannybals will serve the maids up for supper. Now what’s it goin’ t’be? Make up yore mind!”

Tam tossed the sword up into the tree. “Here, catch!”

Yoofus caught it neatly by the basket hilt. Then he descended through the branches, grinning. “Ah, that’s the stuff! Goodbeast yerself, sir. So, here’s yore flag an’ this grand ould curved sword. I’ll lead ye to where the maids will prob’ly be.”

But Tam had other views on the subject. “No, Yoofus. I want ye to keep the flag an’ that curved blade, ’tis not to my liking. Here’s what ye must do. Go with my friends, Tergen an’ Ferdimond, to the Abbey of Redwall an’ wait there.”

The goshawk and the young hare protested.

“Yaagaaah, this bird stay with Burl. Kill lots of vermin!”

“I say, Tam old lad, can’t I come with you, rescuin’ maids an’ all that? Bet I’d be jolly good at it, wot!”

The border warrior would not hear of it. “No! Doogy an’ I stand a better chance doin’ this alone. We don’t need Yoofus, either. The tracks are clear enough. Our mission was to get through to Redwall and warn them of the vermin. I know the Brigadier would like to see us savin’ the two prisoners also. He put me in charge, so that’s my decision. Doogy an’ I go after the captives. You three get along to the Abbey. Now go!”

Surprisingly, the three went without further argument. Doogy patted his friend. “Och, yer a fine figure o’ command, Tam, but what ails ye? Partin’ with yore claymore like that, an’ allowin’ that scruffy wee robber tae toddle off with yer blade an’ flag. That’s no’ the Rakkety Tam ah’m used tae!”

The border warrior drew his dirk, testing its edge. “The banner an’ the blade are safe, mate. Yoofus has Ferdy an’ the goshawk to keep an eye on both my goods an’ him. Don’t fret, Doogy Plumm, ’twill all work out. Now rid yoreself o’ claymore’n’shield. Our smaller blades are more fitted to the job ahead. We’ll hit the vermin camp when ’tis still an’ dark tonight.”

Hiding his sword and shield in the shrubbery, the stout Highlander grinned with anticipation of the action to come. “Hoho, that’s more like the Rakkety Tam ah know!”

Clenching their small Sgian Dhus in their teeth and holding their dirks ready, both warriors set off into the silent woodlands.