Red Notice

31

As her phone began buzzing, Delphine leaned forward to check the caller ID. When she saw Tom’s name, she gave a slow shake of her head, rejected the call and then switched off the phone.

‘Do you really hate me that much?’ Tom whispered in her ear. He winked at Rose and Daniel, then sat down facing her.

‘What do you think?’ she said. She knew where the marks on Tom’s face had come from, the very thing that had kept him from her, but she still wanted to comfort him. It took all of her determination not to show any concern. ‘I gave you one last chance to keep your word to me. And as usual the mistress won.’

‘Please don’t say that… Look, I’m sorry. And I’m here now to make it up to you.’

She shook her head. ‘It’s too late.’ Her face sank into shadow as the train began its seven-mile run underground to Stratford.

‘It’s not too late. The train stops at Ebbsfleet. We can get off there and catch one straight back again.’

She shook her head. ‘I’m not coming back.’

‘Then at least let’s get off at Ebbsfleet, have a coffee and talk things over. Just let me explain things and tell you how I feel. If you’re still determined to go home when you’ve heard me out, you can just catch the next train.’ He tried to read her expression, but she showed no sign of softening. ‘Come on, Delphine, you can’t end it this way. Come home with me now and we’ll sort this out.’

‘You don’t get it, do you, Tom? I am going home. You could have saved yourself the journey. That’s what I was going to tell you last night — if you’d bothered to turn up.’

‘I came as soon as I could. Gavin had a problem and I had to help him out.’

‘And that just proves the point. I — we — have a problem, too, but, as always, the Regiment and your mates took priority.’ She paused. ‘Anyway, none of that matters now. I’m going back to France.’

‘And when did you decide this? You’ve never breathed a word about it until now.’

‘You knew my contract was almost up,’ she said.

‘You’ve renewed it before. Why not again?’

‘Because my career was just like us — not going anywhere fast.’ She studied him for a moment. ‘I was going to tell you last night, but when you didn’t turn up, I just thought this way would be easier — for both of us.’ She stared at him in silence. ‘So I’m afraid you had a wasted journey, because my mind is made up. And what are you doing here anyway? You’re supposed to be on thirty-minute standby, aren’t you?’

He took her hand in his. ‘I’d get binned if things kick off, but that’s a risk I’ll have to take. You’re worth taking a few risks for.’

She looked at him, then gently disengaged her hand from his. ‘It’s a pity you didn’t realize that earlier — but I’m sorry, Tom, it really is too late. It’s a lovely gesture, but in the end, that’s all it is.’ She stared out of the window into the darkness of the tunnel, not even wanting to meet his gaze.

‘This can’t be the end of us, Delphine, it mustn’t be. For God’s sake, please — what do you want from me?’

‘No, Tom, what do you want from me?’

It was the million-pound question, and he didn’t have the answer.

Her eyes burned into him. ‘You’re on thirty-minute standby? Well, I know what it’s like. I feel permanently on standby. If your mates and your Regiment give you a night off, you might get around to spending a few hours with me, but the rest of the time, I might as well not exist. And meanwhile, I’m putting my life on hold, in the vain hope that some day you might eventually get around to making me part of yours.’

‘That’s just not true.’

‘I’m sorry, Tom. It is true. And unlike the Hereford girls, who’d do anything for a Man in Black, I don’t need you or your precious Regiment.’

‘Well, I need you.’ He took a breath, really not wanting to know the answer to the question he was about to ask. ‘Is there someone else?’

She looked back at him, then caught sight of Rose, watching her, wide-eyed, from the seat in front. ‘I’ll talk to you in a little while, ma chérie…’ Delphine forced a smile, not wanting to worry her ‘… but first I just need to have a talk with my big ugly friend here. Ça va?’

Rose hesitated, then abruptly disappeared from view as her mother pulled her back down onto her seat with another muttered apology.

Delphine shook her head. ‘This is ridiculous. We are not going to have this conversation here.’

‘OK,’ Tom said. ‘So, like I said, let’s get off at Ebbsfleet, have a brew and talk there. And if you’re not happy at the end of it, you can catch the next train.’

The Eurostar roared into another tunnel, and the change in pressure made their ears pop. Tom opened his mouth and yawned, but Delphine couldn’t clear her ears. As Tom looked at her, he realized that she was chalk white and her brow was clammy with sweat. ‘Are you all right?’

She shook her head. ‘No, I’m not. I’m not at all right. In fact, I think I’m going to be sick.’

‘Come on, then…’

He helped her to her feet and she leaned against him as he steered her down the aisle. The lavatory at the end of the carriage was occupied and, after a quick glance at Delphine, Tom hurried her through towards the Disabled toilet at the far end of the next coach.