Rogue Wave

Chapter 51

My wife is dead, and it's all my fault. That's all Kai's mind could comprehend at the moment. Not gone, not passed away, not any of the other euphemisms that people use to try to protect themselves from reality. She was dead. His job was protect her and everyone else who had died in the last two hours. He had failed not only professionally, but personally.

He was her husband. He had the shoulder she cried on after a tough day at work. He was the one she snuggled up to for comfort. Despite all the dumb chauvinistic stereotypes, he felt like it was his responsibility to keep her safe. And despite all the dumb chauvinistic stereotypes, he knew she felt the same about keeping him safe.

She died for no reason, he thought. Their building didn't collapse. It was right there in front of him, mocking him through the cockpit window like a monument to his poor decisions. He should have known that the Grand Hawaiian, so much closer to the beach, was in much greater danger of collapse than their building was. The helicopter could have easily saved her first, then come to rescue them.

Kai never felt more miserable than in that moment, and he never cried harder. He howled from the pain in his chest, from the unfairness of it all. They had been so close to saving her. So close. Kai didn't know how he could endure the heartache.

But then he felt Lani burrow into the crook of his shoulder, still wailing. He tugged her close to him, and along with the despair, he felt a glimmer of pride. Rachel must have had a good reason for giving up her spot when the helicopter left the Grand Hawaiian. She had saved someone else's family. As for her own family, Rachel knew the risk she was taking sending the A-Star to them first. And deep down, through the pain of knowing that Rachel's last sacrifice had been rendered unnecessary, Kai understood her need to take that risk. If the situation had been reversed, he would have done the same without hesitation.

Kai was holding the living, breathing embodiment of everything Rachel wanted in life. There was nothing more important to either of them. Lani's fragile little body shuddering against his arm reminded Kai that there was still good in the world and that he still had responsibilities. He had to get Lani to safety. With a fourth wave set to hit Honolulu in the next fifteen minutes, they were still in danger.

But he couldn't give up on Rachel yet, no matter how impossible the odds of her survival were. Once the danger of airborne projectiles had passed, Kai convinced Stan to fly back to where the Grand Hawaiian had been just a minute before and circle. The water was awash with debris and bodies, and Kai simultaneously hoped and feared he'd see Rachel's. He wanted to find her no matter what, but the idea of seeing her limp, lifeless form was too much to bear. He looked for any unusual movement at all, anything to indicate someone was alive in that brew. They found no sign of her.

"I'm sorry, Kai," Brad said from his prone position. "She's gone."

"I know" Kai said, wiping his eyes on his damp sleeve. "I was just hoping…"

"Mr. Tanaka?" Stan interrupted. "We should get back. I just let your friend, Reggie, know that you were safe."

"Reggie sent you?"

"Yes, sir. He was the one who told us about your wi… about the Grand Hawaiian. We'll be back at Wheeler in seven minutes."

As they passed the downtown area and flew over Sand Island, Kai couldn't help but stare at the water as it flowed back out into the ocean that was now his wife's graveyard. His mind replayed the last few minutes over and over, like a sick videotape that he couldn't turn off. He tried to distract himself by looking out the window, but it was almost worse seeing the terrible vista below.

In the distance, Pearl Harbor, the Navy base already synonymous with disaster, was once again dotted with smoke trails, this time from explosions kicked off by oil and other chemicals disbursed by the tsunami. The vast flat expanse of Honolulu International and Hickam Air Base was only recognizable because of the control tower jutting out of the water and the battered hulks of airliners crushed against the remains of the terminal.

They were crossing one of the airport's seaplane channels when a high-pitched whine spooled up from behind Kai's head. As it grew louder, the helicopter wobbled back and forth as if balancing on a slowly spinning top that was about to fall over.

"Damn it!" Stan shouted. "Not yet!"

"What's happening?" Kai said. The helicopter was quickly losing altitude.

Stan's finger's stabbed at a few switches on the control panel. The cyclic stick wagged to and fro, trying to wrest itself from Stan's grip.

"The tail rotor's giving out!" Stan said, barely able to grunt the words. "If I don't get us down in the next thirty seconds, we're going to crash!"