Shopaholic to the Stars

LHA

LETHERBY HALL ASSOCIATION

THE PARSONAGE

LETHERBY COOMBE

HAMPSHIRE

Dear Mrs Ermintrude Endwich

Thank you for your recent letter.

It is always interesting to hear from an ‘unbiased member of the public’ as you describe yourself. However, I must take issue with your various points. The LHA is not a ‘bunch of Nazis with nothing better to do than complain about fountains’. We do not ‘meet every night in some grim little cavern’; nor ‘plot like the witches in

Macbeth

’. Our dress sense is, I would suggest, irrelevant.

I also rebut your assertion that The Surge is ‘one of the wonders of the world’. It is not. Nor will we ‘all be sorry when the brilliant Tarquin Cleath-Stuart is given a medal for it by the Queen’. I cannot quite imagine which medal this would be.

May I have your address in the UK? I cannot find any record of you on the electoral roll.

President

LHA