Chapter 23

All three of Annie's sisters helped her dress for her dinner date with Brad. She tried on four different outfits, and each of them had a different opinion about what she should wear for a first date. High heels, low heels, something simple, a little more dressed up, a sexy sweater, a light color, a flower in her hair, earrings, no earrings. In the end, Candy picked out a soft pale blue cashmere sweater for her, a good-looking gray skirt, suede low-heeled boots so she didn't fall on high heels walking into the restaurant, and pearl earrings that had been her mother's. She looked beautiful and young and uncluttered, and not as though she was trying too hard to impress him or seduce him. They all decided it was a good look, just as the doorbell rang. He found himself instantly surrounded by the entire group of sisters, and all three dogs.

“This is quite a welcoming committee,” he said, as Annie introduced him to Tammy and Sabrina for the first time. And two minutes later, Chris arrived.

“Now you know everyone,” Annie said happily. They left five minutes later, for a small Italian restaurant nearby. It was so close, they walked and didn't need a cab. Candy had loaned her her short gray mink jacket, so Annie was warm, and felt very fancy for her first real date in months. It was a far cry from her arty days in Florence with Charlie. This felt very grown up. And at dinner, he told her he was thirty-nine.

“You don't look it,” she said, and they both laughed. “Or maybe I should say you don't sound it.”

“You don't look your age either.” She could hear the smile in his voice. “At first, I thought you were younger.” He sounded embarrassed then. “I checked your records.”

“Aha!” she chortled. “Insider information. That's not fair. You know a lot more about me than I know about you.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Everything. Where you went to school, what you studied, where you grew up, who you hated in third grade, who you married, why you divorced.” He looked surprised then.

“You have insider information too. How did you know that?”

“Someone told me at school,” she admitted. But she was curious about him. Since she couldn't see him, she wanted to hear all the details. And she would have wanted to know them anyway. It was just that now she couldn't see the expressions on his face, of sadness, guilt, or regret. Those things were important. So she had to rely on what she heard, and how he said it.

“I was married for three years, to my college sweetheart. She's a wonderful girl. She's married to someone else now and has three kids. We're good friends. We wanted very different things out of life. She wanted a career in television, like your sister. I wanted a family and kids. I had lost my parents young, and wanted a family of my own. She didn't. It seems funny now that she has kids. But she's had all three of them in the last four years. We were divorced a long time ago. We were divorced by the time I was twenty-five, fourteen years ago. At the time, we were pretty angry at each other. She felt pressured. I felt cheated. We grew up in Chicago, but she wanted to live in L.A., I wanted to live in New York. I wanted to start the school. She hated the idea. It was a very stressful three years and terrible for both of us.”

“So how come you never got married again?”

“Scared, burned, busy. Starting the school was a huge amount of work. I lived with someone for four years. She was a great woman, but she was French and wanted to go back to France. She missed her family too much. I had already started the school and didn't want to move away. I guess I've been married to the school for sixteen years. It's been my baby and my wife. Time flies when you're having fun, and I am.” She could understand that to some extent. Both her older sisters felt that way about their work, and she had about her art. It hadn't precluded romance in her life, but it had in Tammy's case and even in Sabrina's, to some extent. They were both workaholics, and maybe he was too. You paid a high price for that, and sometimes wound up alone.

“What about you, Annie? No man in your life now?” She laughed dryly. She hadn't had a date since Charlie in Florence and thought she never would again.

“I had a boyfriend in Florence before the accident. He dumped me for someone else, before he found out I was blind.” She always took comfort in that. “I thought it was serious, but I guess it wasn't. Or not as serious as I thought. And before that, I only had one real boyfriend, after college. I was always too passionate about my work as an artist to put a lot of energy into other stuff. It's been a huge change not having my art. Now I have no idea what I'm going to do when I grow up.” She looked desolate for a minute and then shrugged and looked in his direction although she couldn't see him. But he could see how beautiful she was, and she touched his heart with her openness and sincerity. There was no artifice about her.

“You'll find something,” he said gently. She was industrious, hardworking, passionate, and smart. There was no way she wasn't going to find the right path sooner or later. He wasn't worried about her at all.

They ordered dinner and kept on chatting. They sat at the table until the restaurant closed and then he walked her home. She didn't invite him in this time, because it was late, and she didn't feel ready to do that. And her sisters were probably in their pajamas and relaxing. She thanked him for dinner, and let herself into the house. She turned as she was about to step inside, smiled at him, and wished him a Merry Christmas, wishing she could see his face. Her sisters had all told her he was handsome. He was tall and blond with broad shoulders, and they thought that they made a cute couple.

“Merry Christmas to you too, Annie,” Brad said softly. “I had a great time.”

“So did I,” she said, and closed the door behind her. Everyone was asleep by then, and she tiptoed to her room, looking happy. It had been a very nice first date, and worth every penny she'd paid Sabrina for their bet.

The last day on the show before the Christmas hiatus was predictably insane. Guests were hysterical, frantic about the holidays, and meaner than usual to their mates. One couple started slugging it out, and they had to cut to commercial. And for the first time ever, their psychologist, Désirée, got hit in the face and had hysterics. She took a Xanax and called her lawyer, she threatened to sue them, and said it was going to cost them. The entire staff had hangovers and headaches from their Christmas party the night before.

“Life in the fast lane,” Tammy said to someone as she ran to get an ice pack for Désirée to try and calm her down. The fighting couple had actually made up on the show, which Tammy told Désirée was a major victory for her.

It was all the usual craziness and then some, and on top of everything else, two of the network executives were on the set to see the show. They wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Since Tammy had been there, sponsors were lining up around the block, and the ratings were sky high. She was carrying the ice pack for Désirée when she was introduced to the executives, and one of them asked her if she took self-defense classes to work on the show.

“No, just Red Cross first-aid training,” she said, as she held the ice pack. “We administer electroshock therapy if they get too out of hand.” He laughed, and he was still hanging around after Tammy came back from Désirée's dressing room. She had finally calmed down.

“Is there some reason why you want to work in a psych ward?” he asked. He had thought the show was hilarious though in incredibly bad taste. There was a certain humanity and poignancy to it, but on the whole, even Tammy knew it was bad.

“It's a long story. I had to come to New York for a year. So I gave up my job in L.A.” It was more than a job. He knew the show she'd been on, and couldn't believe she'd given it up. Neither could anyone else.

“For a guy, I assume,” he said knowingly, but she shook her head, with a smile.

“No, for my sister. She had a bad accident and my other sisters and I decided to take care of her for a year. We moved in together, and it's been great. And I took this job. So here I am, Nurse Ratched in a psych ward, handing out ice packs and Valium.” He was intrigued by her. She was an amazing woman. He was a few years older than she was and had just moved from Philadelphia. She liked him too, and thought he looked relatively normal, which only meant he was a freak in disguise, if she thought he was cute.

“Look, uh… I'm going to St. Bart's with my family for Christmas. I'd love to see you when I get back, after New Year's. It would be fun to see you then.”

“Not to worry,” she said, smiling at him. “I haven't had a date on New Year's Eve since kindergarten. And I cry when I hear ‘Auld Lang Syne.’ Have a great time in St. Bart's.”

“I'll call you when I get back,” he promised, which she knew was polite for “I hope to never lay eyes on you again and I'm going to flush your cell phone number down the toilet, or feed it to my cat.” She had absolutely no expectation of ever hearing from him again. He was too cute and looked too normal. He didn't look like a vegan or like he'd ever had a high colonic.

“Thanks for visiting the show,” she said politely, ran off to attend to the usual crises, and promptly forgot him. He said his name was John Sperry and she was absolutely certain she would never hear from him again.

The sisters all left for Connecticut together the next day. Chris came with them, and they all went to midnight mass together with their father. It was a solemn moment thinking about their mother, after going to mass with her in that same church every year. Tammy looked over and saw that her father was crying. She slipped her hand into the crook of his arm and hugged him. And at the sign of peace, they all hugged each other. It was a tender moment full of memories and love, and in its own way filled with hope. They were still together and had each other, whatever happened.

The weather was cold in Connecticut, and it snowed several times over the weekend. The girls and Chris got into snowball fights, and they built a snowman. Their father seemed more like himself at last. It was the perfect Christmas weekend for all of them. They gathered around the kitchen table on the last day, and ate an enormous lunch that they had all helped prepare.

Sabrina noticed that their dad was quiet and assumed it was because they were all leaving, and he would be alone again. She knew he hated being alone, and at the end of lunch, he cleared his throat uncomfortably, and said he had something to tell them. Tammy was afraid he was going to say that he was selling the house and moving into the city. She loved this house and didn't want him to sell it. She hoped that wasn't it.

“I don't know how to say this to you,” he said unhappily. “You're all so good to me, and I love you so much. I don't mean to sound ungrateful.” He was almost crying, and their hearts ached for him. “The last six months have been the most awful of my entire life, without your mother. There were times when I really thought I couldn't survive it. And then I realized that I could, that my life wasn't over because she died. And I owe it to all of you to go on.” All of his daughters were touched and smiling as he said it.

“And I don't think your mother would want me to be alone and unhappy. I wouldn't have wanted that for her either. People our age aren't meant to be alone. You need companionship and someone to be there for you,” he explained as they began to wonder what he was saying. He seemed to be veering off into some odd direction that was making less and less sense, and suddenly both Tammy and Sabrina began to wonder if he was getting senile. He was only fifty-nine, but maybe the shock of losing their mother had been too much for him. They were both frowning as he went on toward his conclusion. “I'm miserable alone, or I was. And I know this will be a shock for you, but I hope you understand that this is in no way a disrespect to your mother. I loved her deeply. But there have been changes in my life now, and Leslie Thompson and I are getting married.” All four of his daughters nodded complacently as they listened to what he'd said, and then suddenly it hit them. Tammy heard it first.

“You're what??? Mom's been gone for six months, and you're getting married??? Are you kidding?” He was senile. He had to be, and then she realized who he said he was marrying, and it was even worse. “Leslie? The slut?” The word slipped out of her mouth, and he looked as outraged as she did.

“Don't ever speak of her that way again. She's going to be my wife now!” They were both standing at the table glaring at each other, as the others watched in horror, and Tammy sank back into her seat with her head in her hands.

“Oh, please God, please tell me this isn't happening. I'm dreaming this. I'm having a nightmare.” She looked straight at her father with anguished eyes. “You're not really marrying Leslie Thompson, are you, Dad? You're just kidding?” She was pleading with him, and he looked devastated.

“Yes, I am marrying her. And I was hoping that all of you could at least try to be supportive. You don't know what it's like to lose the woman you've loved for thirty-five years.”

“So you run out and find a replacement in six months? Dad, how could you? How can you do that to yourself, and to us?”

“You're not here. You have your own lives. And I need mine. Leslie and I love each other.”

“I'm going to throw up,” Candy announced to the table in general. She got up and disappeared, as Sabrina stared at their father.

“Don't you think this is a little hasty, Dad? You know how they tell people who've had a major loss not to make any big decisions for a year. Maybe you're rushing this a little.” He was clearly out of his mind with grief, or experiencing some form of insanity. And Leslie Thompson? Oh no… anyone but her… Sabrina wanted to cry. They all did. And so did their father. He looked bitterly disappointed in them. He had been dreaming if he thought they were going to celebrate his marriage to another woman and be happy for him. “When did you have in mind?” Sabrina tried to sound calm, and didn't feel it, as Chris quietly left the table and went outside. He had a strong sense that he didn't belong there, and he was right. This was strictly family business.

“We're getting married on Valentine's Day. In seven weeks.”

“How perfect,” Tammy said, with her head still in her hands. “And how old is she, Dad?”

“She just turned thirty-three last week. I know it's a considerable age difference, but it doesn't matter to either of us. We're kindred spirits, and I know your mother would approve.”

Tammy sat up in her seat then and took off the gloves. She was furious with their father.

“My mother would drop dead from a heart attack if she weren't dead already. Are you crazy? She would never have done this to you! Never! How can you do this to her, to us, and to her memory? It's absolutely disgusting.”

“I'm sorry you feel that way,” he said with an icy stare. He was twenty-six years older than the woman he was planning to marry seven months after his wife's death, and he expected his children to be happy for him. That was not going to happen, not in a hundred million years. Tammy stood up with a look of outrage, and so did Sabrina as Candy walked back into the room. They could all see that she'd been crying, after she threw up.

“Daddy, how could you?” she said miserably, throwing her arms around his neck. “She's younger than Sabrina.”

“Age isn't important when you love someone,” he said as his children wondered how he could make such a fool of himself. They had no idea if Leslie loved him or not, but they really didn't care. They wanted her to disappear. Candy took a step back and looked at her father with utter despair.

“Dad, why don't you put this off for a while?” Sabrina tried to reason with him, and talk him down off the ledge. “How about waiting a year?”

Tammy looked panicked then and thought of something else. “Oh my God, is she pregnant?”

“Of course not.” Their father looked highly insulted, as Annie finally came to life. She'd been listening to all of them. She could hear the fury in Tammy's voice, the fear in Sabrina's, the heartbreak in Candy's, and the disappointment in their dad's.

“I don't know if you care what I think,” Annie said, looking in her father's direction. “I doubt you do. But I think this is probably the single dumbest thing you've ever done, not for us, but for you. It's a lousy thing to do to Mom, Dad. And we'll get used to it if we have to. But to rush off and marry someone seven months after Mom died, just makes you look like a fool. Why is Leslie in such a hurry? Doesn't she realize that it's the surest way to make us hate her? Why can't the two of you at least wait a year, out of respect for Mom? Your getting married that fast is like a giant ‘fuck you’ to all of us, and to our mother.” She stood up too then and said what she really thought. “I'm really disappointed in you. I always thought that you were better than that. You were when you were married to Mom. I guess Leslie doesn't give a damn how we feel, or how you look. It says a lot about her, and about you.” Annie picked up her white stick then and left the room. She found Chris in the living room, sitting quietly. It had been a hell of a way to end Christmas.

Sabrina cleared the table and put the dishes in the dishwasher, and as soon as she finished, they said goodbye to their father. Without commenting further on his announcement, they left his house and drove home to New York.

The explosions in the car were extreme all the way home. Tammy swore she'd never see him again. Sabrina was afraid he had Alzheimer's and Leslie was taking full advantage of him. Candy said she was losing her father to a slut and cried all the way to the city. And Annie quietly said he was the biggest fool that ever lived, and there was no way on earth that anyone would ever convince her to go to the wedding. He hadn't asked them, as Sabrina pointed out. They didn't even know where the wedding was going to be. All they knew was that they hated her, and were furious with their father. And as they drove home from Connecticut, Chris very wisely said not a single word.

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