Six Seconds

54

Cold Butte, Montana

Watching from the window, Jake placed his beer on the TV, then went to the driveway to meet Samara. He was at her van door before she could get out.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Where were you?”

“Great Falls. It was a meeting for medical staff for the visit. Why?”

“No one at the school or clinic knew about it.”

“Few people did. It was about security. Why did you call them? I left you a note.”

“Tell me what’s going on, Samara.”

“What’re you talking about?”

“You’re always working on that damn computer. Or whispering to someone on your cell phone. You force us to go to Seattle, then you disappear to Great Falls. What’s going on?”

Any warmth in Samara’s face evaporated.

“Get away from the door,” she said.

Jake took half a step back.

“What the hell’s going on, Samara?”

“Lower your voice.”

She collected her things, tried to go around him but he grabbed her arm.

“Let me go.”

“I asked you a question. Why are you sneaking around?”

“Have you been drinking?”

“Did you hook up with that guy from Seattle? That it?”

“What? I don’t believe this!”

“Dammit, Samara! We left everything for you! Gave up everything! And you act like we’re not even here!”

Her eyes burned with icy fury as they pulled Jake’s attention to Logan standing at the doorway behind him.

“Release me now and get hold of yourself.”

A tense moment passed before Jake surrendered her arm.

“I’ve told you,” she said. “I am taking advanced cor respondence nursing courses online. I also talk to my friends in London and Baghdad. I had a life before we met. You know all this, Jake. And, I went to Great Falls today to prepare for the visit.”

Staring at her, he realized that they were strangers to each other. He dragged the back of his hand across his mouth then walked off down their lane.

“Dad!”

Logan started after him but Samara held up her hand to stop him.

“Let him go. He needs to cool off.”

“Dad!”

Jake cut a lonely figure as he walked off to the end of their long lane. He stood there searching the empty land. As the afternoon faded he made his way back to the house but remained outside, perched on the picnic table, contemplating the setting sun.

Samara watched him from the kitchen window while she prepared dinner.

She and Logan ate without him.

Afterward, she came out and set a plate next to him: a big chicken sandwich, baked beans and coleslaw. She also brought him a black coffee in a large ceramic Mariners mug.

Jake had to leave soon for a job that would take him away for a couple of days.

“Are you good to drive?” she asked.

“I barely touched that beer.”

Jake said nothing more and Samara returned to the house.

After he ate, he sat there wrestling with his situation until darkness fell. Iraq had messed him up, no question about it. And Samara had saved his life. That was a fact. But he’d lost himself over there.

Maggie had been right all along. His experience over there, all the crap he faced, had changed him.

Jake covered his face with his hands then peered over his fingertips, feeling a fog lifting from his mind as he realized that he might have made a huge mistake.

“Dad?”

Logan was standing beside him.

“Hey, son.”

“Dad, what’s happening with everything?”

“I’m just doing some thinking.”

“Dad, I need to ask you something but promise you won’t get mad, okay?”

“Go ahead.”

“I want to have Mom here, you know, for the big day. Everybody says, like, it’s historic and stuff, and it just doesn’t feel right without her.”

Jake closed his eyes to find patience, then smiled.

“Logan. I know you want her here but we’ve talked about this. It’s just not going to happen. I’m sorry.”

Logan started to cry.

“But I miss her so much it hurts.”

“I miss her, too.”

“Really?”

Jake pulled him closer and held his shoulders. “So much it hurts.”

Logan looked into his father’s face, surprised by what he found. His dad, his real dad was back. Logan heard it in his voice, saw it in his eyes. His dad was telling him the truth, that he still loved Mom.

A lot.

“I thought you were going to stay mad at her forever.”

“You know I saw some terrible things in Iraq. Terrible things.”

Logan knew it was bad there.

“I don’t talk about it much but I got banged up pretty good. I still get headaches, real whoppers.”

“I know.”

“The whole deal shook me up, crossed my wires. I got confused about things. Like that time with your soccer coach.”

“It’s okay, Dad.”

“Well, there are a couple of things I am clear on. One is I love you and, in spite of what I may have said when we left, I know your mom loves you, too.”

Logan cried again.

“She never stopped loving you and she never will.

She’s a good mother.”

Logan nodded.

“Samara’s a good person, too. She risked her life in

Iraq to help people, including me. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be here, son. It’s that simple. I’ve just got a lot of thinking to do these days, okay?”

“Okay.”

“The pope’s visit is going to be a once-in-a-lifetime thing, son. You’re going to do a good job. Samara’s going to take lots of pictures. I’ll be there. I’ve got to leave now for a couple of days, but I’ll be back in time. I won’t miss it. After it’s all over we can talk some more.”

Logan nodded and brushed away his tears.

“I love you, Dad.”

“I love you, too, pal. And so does your mom. Always remember that.”

It was a little before midnight when Jake pulled out.

Logan watched from his bedroom window, watched his running lights glow against the immense night sky.

Logan watched until they vanished.

Not long after, he heard the familiar soft tapping coming from the living room.

He left his bed and cracked open his bedroom door. Samara was there, working on her laptop. As he watched her, he spotted her purse.

Logan had a secret plan.

He was sure it would work.

It had to.