Strangers

21

He felt like he was a guest in someone else’s house, the way they were all fussing over bloody Jeremy. It made him sick. They never treated him like this. All he did for them, and Phoebe and Tammy had barely even looked at him when he got back with the shopping. And Michelle was just as bad, checking Jeremy was comfortable and that he’d got a drink, asking if he wanted to watch TV or use the bathroom before dinner.

To his credit, Jeremy looked as uneasy as Scott felt. When he saw that Scott was back he immediately got up from his seat and offered him his hand. ‘You okay, Scott?’ he asked.

‘Fine. You?’

‘Jeremy has been planning to take in the sights and sounds of Thussock,’ Michelle shouted from the kitchen.

‘Good luck finding any.’

‘Quite a place you’ve found here,’ Jeremy said, grinning broadly. ‘Shame I’ve only got a few days. It’ll never be long enough. So much to see, so much to do…’

‘It is a bit like that, isn’t it?’ Scott said, taking a beer from Phoebe who’d brought in a bottle for him and a coffee for her dad. ‘We’ve got a brewery one way, a fracking site just over the hills behind us…’

‘The fun never starts,’ Tammy said sarcastically.

‘I’d be interested in seeing the fracking site,’ Jeremy continued. He stopped, conscious that the others were looking at him. ‘What? I’m interested, can’t help it. It’s not a million miles removed from my line of work. I’ve been talking to another firm about going into partnership on a project in Yorkshire of all places. Once they’ve sorted out the PR side of things, of course. Have you had any earthquakes yet?’ George waddled into the room. ‘I can’t get over how you’ve grown,’ Jeremy said to him. ‘When I last saw you, you were just a titchy little fella, not a big strapping man like this.’

Michelle came in from the kitchen and watched Scott from a distance, trying to gauge his reaction as Jeremy interacted with his son. He looked as uncomfortable as she’d expected, but at least he was keeping his temper in check. Conflict between the two men had been an issue in the past, particularly when the girls had been younger. Scott had always accepted that Tammy and Phoebe needed to spend time with their father, but he’d struggled with the realities and practicalities. In fact, it hadn’t been until he’d become a father himself that he’d finally started to understand the emotions and unspoken needs at play.

‘Oh, I nearly forgot,’ Jeremy said, ducking back out into the hall to fetch a plastic carrier bag. Glass bottles clinked together as he picked it up. He gave a bottle of wine to Michelle (her favourite label… she was touched that he remembered) and handed a bottle of scotch to Scott who seemed genuinely surprised. ‘The best I could find on the way into Thussock, so not great I’m afraid. Supermarket’s own.’

‘Thanks,’ Scott said, checking out the label. ‘A malt. You shouldn’t have.’

‘Nonsense. You’re both being very hospitable and I appreciate it. Understanding too.’

‘Want a shot of this in your coffee?’

‘No thanks, I’m driving.’

‘You could stay here if you wanted a drink,’ Michelle said. Scott bit his tongue and glared at her. ‘We’re out of beds, but the sofa’s pretty comfortable.’

She might not have picked up on her husband’s unease, but Jeremy did. ‘What, and miss out on staying over at the Black Boy? Hell of a place, your local.’

‘Something to do with a sheepdog, isn’t it?’ Scott said. ‘You’d think they’d change the name. I thought twice about going in there for a drink, so fair play to you for spending the night.’

‘I haven’t done it yet,’ he laughed. ‘Not a lot of choice around here though.’

‘You’re lucky you managed to get a room,’ Michelle said. ‘It’s not the biggest pub.’

‘Don’t think that was ever going to be a problem. I think I’m the only guest there right now. And judging by the state of the room they’ve given me, I get the impression I’m the first person they’ve had there in a long time.’

‘Can’t say I’m surprised,’ Michelle said. ‘Anyway, the offer’s there. If you feel like getting drunk or decide you can’t stand the thought of the pub, you can bed down here.’

‘I’ll be fine,’ he said quickly. ‘I’m looking at it as an adventure. I’ve stopped in far worse places. At least here we all speak the same language.’

‘You reckon?’ Tammy laughed. ‘Have you heard how they talk, Dad? I don’t have a clue what they’re saying half the time. I had to ask a teacher to say the same thing four times today. Made me look like a right idiot.’

‘I just keep nodding my head and make the right noises when they pause for breath,’ Michelle admitted.

‘So you’re finding the locals a challenge?’

‘Everything’s a challenge,’ Tammy answered quickly.

‘She’s exaggerating,’ Michelle said. ‘She always exaggerates. The people are fine.’

‘Those who are still alive,’ Tammy said under her breath.

Michelle felt the mood in the room immediately change.

‘What did you have to say that for?’

Tammy shrugged her shoulders then turned to her dad. ‘You’ve heard about Thussock’s little problem, I take it?’

‘I’ve heard.’

‘And what do you think?’

Jeremy looked around the room. Michelle was watching him, Scott was glaring at him, Phoebe was chewing her bottom lip anxiously… even George looked unsure.

‘I think it’s very sad and very worrying,’ he said. ‘But I also think you’ll all be okay. Scott’s here, and he’s not going to let anything happen to any of you, isn’t that right, Scott?’

‘Absolutely.’

Another pregnant pause. Awkward. Uncomfortable.

‘Right, let’s eat,’ Michelle said, her voice overly enthusiastic. ‘Who’s hungry?’

Jeremy stayed at the house until almost eleven. The evening was, for the most part, unexpectedly enjoyable and inevitably awkward in equal measure. The girls had gone up to their rooms just after ten, the initial novelty of having their dad around having worn off. He joked that they’d always liked the idea of being with him better than the reality. They made plans for him to pick them up after school tomorrow and spend a little time together.

Things soured soon after the girls had left. Scott disappeared, leaving Jeremy and Michelle alone in the living room. ‘Weird, isn’t it?’ Jeremy said.

‘What is?’

‘This. The fact it feels reasonably normal to be sitting here talking like this. We’ve lived apart for years yet it’s like we’ve hardly been out of the room.’

‘Suppose. We spent a lot of time together. A lot of good times to start with.’

‘I know, but when you think how long it’s been… In some ways you’ve hardly changed, Chelle.’

‘Is that meant to be a compliment?’

‘I guess,’ he said. Jeremy watched his ex-wife watching him, wondering whether he should stop talking now. He’d had a question on the tip of his tongue all evening. ‘Look, if I’m out of line, tell me to shut up, but are you sure you’re okay?’

‘I’m fine,’ she answered quickly. ‘Just tired, that’s all. It’s been a tough few months. Mentally and physically.’

‘I’m not convinced.’

‘Honestly, Jeremy. Look, I hear what you’re saying, but we’ve barely seen each other for years. How do you know I’m not always like this?’

‘I hope you’re not. That’d make it even worse.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

He sighed. Did he really want to do this? Then again, could he afford not to? ‘I’ve got a memory of one particular night just before we split up. You probably wouldn’t even remember it. We weren’t fighting or arguing, we were just trying to live together and failing miserably. I remember watching you watching TV and thinking, something’s not right here… but I couldn’t put my finger on it. It’s hard to explain, but looking back I think that’s when I first knew we were in trouble. It was what you weren’t saying that was important, not what you said. There was no connection anymore. The spark had gone out. You looked like you were lost. Remember that tatty old armchair we had? The one Mum gave me? You were sitting on it with your knees pulled up to your chest, watching TV. You looked so small, so vulnerable… I didn’t realise it was me making you feel that way.’

‘What point are you making?’

‘That you’ve been giving off the same vibes all evening.’

‘So maybe it’s having you around again that’s making me feel this way?’

He shrugged. ‘Maybe it is.’

‘All due respect, like I said, we’ve hardly seen each other in ages.’

‘You’re right. But like I said, if you are usually like this, then that makes me even more worried.’

‘Don’t be. There’s nothing to worry about.’

‘The girls tell me things…’

‘Well they shouldn’t.’

A heavy silence. The two of them staring at each other across the dark room, just the creaks and groans of the tired old house around them. Jeremy cleared his throat. ‘I care about you, Michelle, so I’ll ask once more, then I’ll shut up. Are you sure you’re okay? Are the girls going to be all right here?’

‘Tell you what, Jeremy,’ Scott said, ‘why don’t you just save us all the trouble and shut up now? Seriously. I’ve put up with your bullshit all night, and I’ve had just about enough of your fucking noise.’

‘Scott, don’t…’ Michelle protested.

Jeremy held his head in his hands. ‘I didn’t mean anything by it, Scott. I just need to know. For the sake of my kids…’

‘Jeremy was just—’

‘Shut the fuck up, Michelle,’ Scott ordered. ‘Don’t you take his fucking side.’

‘I thought we were all on the same side,’ Jeremy said, quickly getting to his feet and positioning himself between Scott and Michelle, hands raised. Fuck, how he hated confrontation. He could smell the scotch on Scott’s breath from here. ‘Like I said this morning, just put yourself in my shoes. I’m worried about the girls.’

‘And like I said this morning, everything’s fine.

‘Maybe I still need convincing?’

Scott grabbed Jeremy’s collar and pushed him back against the wall. Michelle tried to force herself between them. Jeremy kept his hands raised in submission, refusing to fight back. ‘Then let me convince you, fucker,’ Scott hissed.

‘Scott, please,’ Michelle said, trying to separate them. ‘This isn’t helping anyone.’

He remained tense for a few seconds longer, then let go and walked away. Jeremy straightened himself out, adjusted his glasses and smoothed his hair, breathing hard but trying not to let his nervousness show. ‘I should leave.’

‘You don’t have to go,’ Michelle said.

‘I think he fucking does,’ Scott told her.

Jeremy didn’t hang around. He tried to tell Michelle it was okay and that he’d try and talk to her tomorrow, but Scott wasn’t having any of it. He handed Jeremy his coat and blocked his way to any other part of the house but the front door. Standing out on the step, Jeremy turned around to try and make one last situation-saving apology, but the door was slammed in his face.

He stood next to his car and could already hear Scott yelling at Michelle. But what could he do? Part of him wanted to go back inside, but would that just make things even worse? He’d come back and try again tomorrow. Michelle was a good mum. She’d always look out for the kids. He tried to hold onto that thought.

He looked up at the house and smiled and waved to Phoebe who was watching from her bedroom window. Don’t let her see, he told himself, don’t let her see…