Ten Big Ones

Six

I reached the police station and sure enough the yellow line kept going. I was moving back toward the river, into an area of renovated office buildings and street-level businesses. Now I had a new problem. The yellow line could go on forever. It could go right past the Bat Cave, and I'd never know. And just as I was thinking this, the yellow line stopped.

I was on Haywood Street. It was a side street with minimal traffic, two blocks away from the noise and frustration of city center rush-hour gridlock. A series of four-story town houses ran along the north side of the street. A couple office buildings occupied the south side. I had no idea where to go from here.

None of the town houses had an attached garage and there was no on-street parking. I circled the block, looking for an alley with rear-access parking. None. This was a good central location, and one of the town houses would make a good Bat Cave, but I couldn't see Ranger parking his truck any distance from his house. I was idling in front of an office building with underground parking. Ranger could park in the underground garage, but even then he'd have to cross the street to get to the town house. Not a big deal for an ordinary person. Seemed out of character for Ranger. Ranger sat with his back to the wall. Ranger never left himself exposed.

The other possibilities weren't as much fun. The computer could simply have run out of allotted space, and Haywood Street meant nothing. Or Tank could have taken Rangers truck and parked it convenient to the Tank Cave.

Lights were on in most of the town houses. The office buildings were mostly dark. The building with parking was a relatively small seven-story structure. The foyer plus floors six and five were lit. I rolled back a couple feet, so I could see through the large glass double door. The foyer looked newly renovated. Elevators to the rear. Reception desk to one side. There was a uniformed guy behind the reception desk.

A two-lane entrance to the underground parking garage sat like a black gap in the building facade. I pulled into the parking garage entrance, but I was stopped by a machine that demanded a passkey. A heavy iron gate barred my way. I squinted into the dark interior and got a rush. I was pretty sure I was looking at a black Porsche parked nose-in to the back wall.

I hit my high beams, but the angle of the truck didn't splash a lot of light around the garage. Fortunately, Ranger carried a full array of bounty hunter toys. I retrieved a three-pound Maglite from the back seat, swung out of the truck and played the light across the expanse of the garage. The back wall held a stairwell and elevator.

There were four parking spaces in front of the elevator. The first two were empty. Ranger's Porsche Turbo filled the third. A Porsche

Cayenne filled the fourth. His Mercedes was missing. And I had the truck. Two black SUVs were parked on the side wall. It's the Bat Cave,' I said to Rex when I got back behind the wheel.

Kind of fun to finally have found it… but now what? Ranger was off somewhere, and I still didn't have a place to spend the night. I stared into the dark garage. I had no place to stay, and dollars to doughnuts, sitting in front of me was a building with a vacant apartment. Don't even think about it, I said to myself. That's like a death wish. This man is fanatical about protecting his privacy.

He won't be happy to find you've broken into his apartment and done the Goldilocks thing.

There was a part of my brain that was in charge of stupid ideas. When I was seven it told me to jump off my parents' garage roof to see if I could fly. It also encouraged me to play Choo Choo with Joe Morelli when I was a kid. Morelli was the originator of Choo Choo.

Morelli was the choo choo train, and I was the tunnel. And as it turned out it was necessary for the train to spend a lot of time under my skirt. Later in life the stupid idea part of my brain encouraged me to marry Dicky Orr. Orr was a slick talker who had a roving eye. Less than a year after the wedding, other body parts that belonged to Orr started roving as well. And that was the end of that marriage.

The stupid-idea part of my brain was now telling me I might be able to break in and go undetected. Just for one night, it said. Do it for Rex's sake. Poor Rex needs a place to spend the night.

I backed out of the garage entrance and drove around the block, hoping the stupid-idea department would shut down.

Unfortunately, it was still up and running when I returned to Ranger's building. I had his truck. He hadn't bothered to remove his gun. Maybe he hadn't bothered to remove his passkey. I checked the visor and the console. I checked the side-door pockets and the glove box. I was looking for a plastic credit card-type key that would slide into the machine. I backed out a second time, drove to the corner, and parked under a streetlight so I could better see the interior of the truck. Still couldn't find the passkey.

I looked down at the key in the ignition. There was an extra key and two small black plastic devices attached to the key ring. One was a remote to unlock the truck. The second was also a remote of some sort. I circled the block, pulled into the garage entrance, pushed a button on the second remote, and the gate slid open.

Stephanie, I said to myself, if you have any sense at all, you'll turn tail and get out of here as fast as possible. Yeah, right. I'd gotten this far how could I possibly not want to explore further? I mean this was the Bat Cave, for crying out loud.

There were two SUVs parked to the side. That meant Ranger wasn't the only person to use this garage. It would be awkward for

Tank or one of Rangers other men to discover Rangers truck had wandered home, so I retreated from the driveway and parked on the next block. Then I walked back to the garage, let myself in, and remoted the iron gate closed. I stepped into the elevator and looked at the panel. Seven buttons plus garage. I bypassed the security guard at the desk on the first floor and pressed number two. The elevator rose two floors and the doors opened to a large darkened reception area that I assumed led to offices. Floors three and four were similar. I skipped five and six since these were the lighted and presumably occupied floors. And the seven button wouldn't work. The elevator would go down, but it wouldn't go all the way up to seven.

The penthouse, I thought. The dragon's lair. It needed a passkey.

Just for the hell of it, I aimed the garage remote at the panel and hit the remote button. The elevator silently rose to floor seven and opened. I stepped out to a small reception area with a patterned white-and-black marble floor and off-white walls. No windows, a breakfront on one of the walls, one door in front of me.

I'd like to say that I was very cool about all this, but the truth is, my heart was pounding so hard it was blurring my vision. If the door opened and Ranger looked out at me, I'd fall over dead on the spot. And what if he had a woman with him? What would I do? I wouldn't do anything, I reasoned, because I'd be dead, remember?

I held my breath and remoted the door. I turned the knob.

Couldn't get in. I looked more closely at the door. It had a deadbolt. I inserted the extra key and the door opened. Now I had a real dilemma. Up to this point I wasn't feeling especially invasive.

I'd discovered the location of Ranger's base of operations. In truth, not such a big deal. However, once I crossed the threshold in front of me, I was in Rangers private space, and I was uninvited. This was officially breaking and entering. Not only was it illegal… it was rude.

The stupid part of my brain kicked in again. Yes, it said, but how about all those times Ranger let himself into your apartment? Half the time you were asleep, and he scared the bejeebers out of you.

Can you ever remember one time that he knocked first? Maybe one time, I answered. It stood to reason that he'd knocked at least once. But hard as I tried I couldn't recall him ever knocking. Ranger slipped in like smoke under the door. I took a deep breath and stepped over the threshold. 'Hello,' I called softly. 'Anybody home? Yoohoooo?'

Nothing. Not a sound. The reception area had been lit, but the apartment was dark. I was standing in a small hallway foyer. An antique wood sideboard was against the wall to my right. There was a tray on the sideboard that looked like it was supposed to hold keys, so I dropped Ranger's keys in the tray. I flipped the switch by the door and two side-by-side candlestick lamps, also on the sideboard, blinked on.

The foyer area was defined by an arch and beyond the arch the living room opened directly in front of me. Kitchen and dining area to the right of the living room. Bedroom suite to the left. The apartment was larger than mine and miles more opulent. Ranger had furniture. Expensive furniture. It was an eclectic mix of antique and modern. Lots of wood and black leather. Marble in the small powder room off the foyer.

Hard to imagine Ranger moving through these rooms dressed in SWAT black. The apartment felt masculine, but more like cashmere sweater and Italian loafers than bounty hunter fatigues.

Okay, maybe jeans and boots and cashmere sweater but that was a stretch. The jeans would have to be excellent.

The kitchen was gourmet and stainless steel. I peeked in the refrigerator. Eggs, fat-free milk, four bottles of Corona, a plastic container of rustic olives, and the usual condiments. Apples, limes, and eating oranges in the crisper. Brie and cheddar in the dairy drawer. All jars and shelves were immaculate. Nothing but ice cubes in the freezer. Spartan, I thought. I looked through the cupboards. Organic unsweetened granola, a jar of honey, an unopened box of crackers, green tea, a foil bag of Kona coffee beans, a foil pack of smoked salmon, and a foil pack of tuna. Yeesh.

No Cap'n Crunch, no peanut butter, no Entenmann's coffee cake.

How could anyone live like this?

I prowled through the living room into the bedroom area. There was a small sitting room with a comfy, clubby couch and large-screen plasma TV. The bedroom opened off the sitting room. King-size bed, perfectly made. Four king pillows in shams, matching the ivory sheets trimmed with three narrow ribbons of dark brown piping. All looked like they'd been ironed. A lightweight down comforter encased in a matching dark brown duvet covered the bed. No spread. Blanket chest at the foot of the bed. Brass lamps with black shades on tables. Fabrics on chairs and curtains were earth tones. Very subdued and classy.

I'm not sure what I expected from Ranger, but it wasn't this.

In fact, I was having some doubts that he lived here. It was a great apartment, but there were no personal touches. No photographs in the living room. No book on the nightstand next to the bed.

The master bath and dressing room attached to the bedroom. I stepped into the bath and went momentarily breathless. The room very faintly smelled like Ranger. I prowled around and discovered the scent was from the soap. Again, as in the rest of the house, nothing was out of place. Towels were neatly stacked. Ivory and dark brown, matching the sheets. Very plush. The thought of them next to a naked Ranger gave me a rush that buckled my knees.

The double sink was soap scum-free and set into a marble countertop. Toiletries were displayed to the left. Straightedge and electric razor to the right. No tub, but there was a large marble-and-glass walk-in shower. White terry robe on a hook by the shower.

The dressing room was filled with clothes. A mix of work and casual. I recognized the work clothes. The Ranger who wore the casual hadn't been a part of my life. Everything was neatly hung or folded. No dirty socks on the floor. Everything perfectly pressed.

Thank God, no ladies' lingerie. No birth control pills or box of tampons.

I decided there were two possibilities. Either Ranger lived with his mother, or else he had a housekeeper. I didn't see any evidence of a little Cuban lady in residence, so I was going with the housekeeper theory.

'So,' I said to the empty apartment, 'nobody'd mind if I stayed here tonight, right?'

Since no one objected, I took it as a positive sign. Ten minutes later, I was back in the apartment with Rex and a change of clothes.

I set Rex's cage on a kitchen counter and gave him a chunk of apple, I ate the rest of the apple and wandered into the sitting room. I sunk into the comfy couch and picked up the remote for the television. Total space age. I hadn't a clue what to do with all the buttons. No wonder Ranger said he never watched television. I gave up on the television and migrated into the bedroom. I was tired and the bed looked inviting, but the thought of sliding between Ranger's sheets had me in a cold sweat.

Get over it, I told myself. It's not like he's here.

Yes, I answered, but these are his sheets, for cripes' sake. His personal sheets. I did some chewing on my lower lip. On the other hand, they'd obviously been laundered since he'd slept in them. So it wasn't all that personal, right?

Problem number two: I didn't want to contaminate the sheets with the gunk in my hair. This meant I'd have to shower in Ranger's bathroom. A shower meant I'd have to get naked. And the thought of being naked in Ranger's bathroom brought back the cold sweat.

Just do it, I told myself. Be an adult. Unfortunately, being an adult was part of the dilemma. I was having a very adult reaction to getting naked in the shower. An uncomfortable mix of desire and acute embarrassment. I ordered myself to ignore it all. I squinched my eyes closed and took my clothes off. I opened my eyes, adjusted the water, and stepped under the spray. Serious. Down to business. Get the gunk out of my hair. Get out of the shower.

Halfway through lathering with Ranger's shower gel I was barely able to focus. The scent seemed to swell around me. I was hot and slippery with shower gel, and I was surrounded by Essence of Ranger. Agony. Ecstasy. I was living a wet dream. Yikes. Next time I broke into Ranger's apartment I would bring my own soap.

I scrubbed my hair with a vengeance, rushed out of the shower, and toweled off. Yes, these were Ranger's towels and God only knows what they've touched, so don't go there! This was not exactly a silent thought. This was more of a mental shriek.

I got dressed in undies and T-shirt and marched off to bed. I slipped under the covers. I closed any eyes and groaned. It was heaven. Like floating on a seven-hundred-thread-count cloud.

Total comfort, except for the uneasy feeling of impending doom.

The room was still dark when I awoke the next morning. Curtains were drawn throughout the apartment, and I wasn't about to open them. Didn't want to broadcast my presence. I rolled out of bed and went straight to the shower. It was daytime. I was feeling much more brave. And God help me, I was looking forward to Rangers shower. I was a shower-gel slut!

After the shower, I had an orange and some granola for breakfast. "I got through the night, and I survived the shower,' I said to Rex, sharing a slice of orange with him, dropping some granola in his food dish. 'I don't know why I was so worried.

Probably Ranger wouldn't even mind that I was here. After all, he's slept in my bed and used my shower. Of course, I was in them at the time. Still, what's good for the gander is good for the goose, don't you think?' The apartment was quiet and comfortable, and I was feeling less like an intruder. 'This isn't too different from living with Morelli,' I told Rex. 'I was a guest there. And I'm a guest here.' The fact that Ranger didn't know I was a guest was starting to seem like a technicality. 'Don't worry,' I said. 'I'm going to get our apartment back. All I have to do is find a place for Valerie. And hopefully the Slayer problem will go away.'

I didn't expect Ranger would be home anytime soon, but I wrote a note of explanation, just in case, and propped it on Rex's cage. I closed Rangers front door behind me and remoted it locked. Then I took the stairs, stopping periodically to listen for footfalls, keeping alert for the sound of a fire door opening above or below me.

I cracked the door to the garage and peeked out. Ranger's two cars were still in place. The SUVs had multiplied overnight. There were now four of them parked side by side. No humans walking around, so I scuttled across the garage, opened the gate, and hurried up the street to the truck.

I hauled myself up behind the wheel, locked the doors around me, and sat for a moment in the silence, inhaling the delicious aroma of leather seats and Ranger. I sniffed my arm and groaned. The Ranger smell was coming from me. He'd given me his truck, and I'd moved into his home.

I'd slept in his bed, and I'd showered with his shower gel. I couldn't imagine what would follow if he found out.

Ranger rarely showed emotion. He was more a man of action… throwing people against walls and out windows, never breaking a sweat, his face perfectly composed. Now you've made me mad, he'd calmly say. And then bodies would fly through the air. The bodies always belonged to scumbags who'd done really bad things, so the carnage wasn't totally unjustified. Still, it was a scary and awesome spectacle to watch.

I didn't think Ranger would throw me against a wall or out a window. My fear was more that we'd stop being friends. And there was also a small fear that retribution would be sexual. Ranger would never do anything that wasn't consensual. Problem was, once Ranger truly invaded my space there wasn't a lot I didn't eventually consent to. Ranger was very good in close.

Okay, so what's up for the day? Harold Pancek was my only outstanding case. I needed to work at finding Pancek. Probably I should check up on Carol Cantell. I should stay out of Slayerland. And I needed to find an apartment for Valerie.

A call to Morelli was in the number one slot. 'Hey,' I said when he answered. 'Just wanted to make sure you're okay.'

'Where are you?'

'I'm in the truck on the way to work. Any new damage from the Slayers?'

'No. It was a quiet night… after you left. So what's the deal, are you coming back?'

'No. Never.'

We both knew that was a big fib. I always came back.

'One of these days we should probably grow up,' Morelli said.

'Yeah,' I said, 'but I don't think we should feel rushed into it.'

'I'm thinking I might ask Joyce Earnhardt out on a date.'

Joyce Earnhardt was a total skank and my arch enemy. 'That would be a definite detour off the road to maturity,' I told him.

Morelli gave a snort of laughter and hung up. Half an hour later, I was in the office, and Connie and Lula were standing noses pressed to the front window.

That vehicle sitting at the curb looks like Ranger's personal truck,' Lula said.

'It's a loaner,' I told her.

'Yeah, but it's Ranger's, right?'

'Yep. It's Ranger's.'

'Oh boy,' Connie said.

'No strings attached,' I told them. Lula and Connie smiled. There were always strings attached. They'd plotz if they knew about the Bat Cave. For that matter, I was having a hard time not plotzing when I thought about the Bat Cave.

'Today is Harold Pancek Day,' I said.

'He's a no-brainer,' Connie said. 'I've been checking on him. He works at the multiplex. Shows up every day at two and works until ten. If you can't get him at home, you can get him at work.'

'Have you tried calling him?'

'I reached him once, and he told me he'd come in for rescheduling. He was a no-show on that. And now I get a machine when I call.'

'I vote we get him tonight at the multiplex,' Lula said. 'There's a movie I want to see. It's that one where the world gets blown up and there's only mutants left. I saw the ad on television, and one of those mutants is really fine. We could go to the movie and then snag ol' Harold on the way out.' She was thumbing through the paper on Connie's desk, searching for the entertainment page. 'Here it is. That movie starts at seven thirty.'

The plan had a lot going for it. It would give me the entire day to try to find a place for Valerie. And it would take up some of my night. I didn't want to go back to Ranger's apartment until the building was in low-to-no traffic mode. Plus I'd seen those ads Lula was talking about and the mutant was extremely fine.

'Okey dokey,' I said. 'We'll go tonight. I'll pick you up at six thirty.'

'You're gonna be in the Bat Truck, right?'

It's all I've got.'

'I bet you get a tingle when you sit in it,' Lula said. 'I can't wait. I want to try behind the wheel. I bet you feel like a real badass behind the wheel.'

Mostly I felt like I was wearing someone else's underpants. Considering it was Ranger's underpants (figuratively speaking), the feeling wasn't entirely unpleasant.

'What are you doing for the rest of the day?' Lula wanted to know.

I took Connie's paper and turned to real estate. 'I'm looking for an apartment for Valerie. She's not showing a lot of motivation to vacate mine, so I thought I'd help her out.'

'I thought you were all settled in with Morelli,' Lula said. 'Uh oh, is there trouble in paradise?'

I started circling rentals. 'No trouble. I just want my own space back.'

I was concentrating on the paper, not looking up, not wanting to see Lula's and Connie's reactions.

I finished circling, folded the paper, and put it in my shoulder bag. 'I'm taking the back end of your paper,' I said to Connie. 'And there's no trouble.'

'Huh,' Lula said. She leaned forward and sniffed. 'Damned if you don't smell good. You smell just like Ranger.'

'Must be the truck,' I said.

I'd barely gotten out the door when my cell phone rang. 'It's your mother,' my mother said. As if I wouldn't know her voice. 'Everybody's here, and we were wondering if you could stop by for just a second to take a look at some dress colors. We picked out a gown, but we need to make sure it's okay with you.'

'Everybody?'

'Valerie and the wedding planner.'

'The wedding planner? You mean Sally?'

'I never realized he knew so much about fabric and accessorizing,' my mother said.

Grandma Mazur was at the door, waiting for me, when I parked behind the big yellow school bus, in front of my parents' house.

'Now that's a truck,' she said, eyeballing Ranger's Ford. 'I wouldn't mind having a truck like that. I bet it's got leather seats and everything.' She leaned forward and sniffed. 'And don't you smell good. What is that, a new perfume?'

'It's soap. And it won't go away.'

'It smells sort of… sexy.'

Tell me about it. I was in love with myself.

'They're all in the kitchen,' Grandma said. 'If you want to sit you have to bring a chair from the dining room.'

'Not necessary,' I told her. I can't stay long.'

My mother, Valerie, and Sally were having coffee at the kitchen table. There were some fabric samples, next to the coffee cake, and Valerie had a couple pages torn from a magazine in front of her.

'Sit,' my mother said. 'Bring a chair.'

'Can't. Got things to do.'

Sally handed one of the pages to me. This is a picture of the bridesmaids' dresses. Your dress will be the same, but a different color. I'm still thinking pumpkin.'

'Sure,' I said. 'Pumpkin would be terrific.' Anything would be okay at this point. I didn't want to be a party pooper, but I had other things on my mind.

'What things do you have to do?' Grandma wanted to know.

'Bounty hunter things.'

My mother made the sign of the cross.

'You should see Stephanie's new truck,' Grandma Mazur said. 'It looks like a truck the devil himself would drive.' This got everyone's attention.

'It's a loaner from Ranger,' I said. 'I had some problems with the

Buick, and I haven't got the insurance money from the Escape yet.'

Another sign of the cross from my mother.

'What's sticking out of your bag?' Grandma asked me. 'Looks like the want ads in the paper. Are you looking for a car? I could go with if you're looking for a car. I like cars.'

'I'm not looking for a car today. Val's been too busy with the new baby to look for an apartment, so I thought I'd help her out. I saw a couple places in the paper that looked interesting.'

Valerie reached out and took the paper from my bag. 'No kidding? Wow, that's really nice of you. Is there anything good in here?'

My mother scooted around so she could look at the paper with Valerie.

'Here's one that's a house for rent. And it says it has a Burg location. That would be perfect,' my mother said. The girls could stay in the same school.' She looked over at me. 'Did you call the number? Do you know where this is?'

'I called on the way here. It's a duplex on Moffit Street. The house next to Gino's Tomato Pie. The owner lives in the other half. I told her I'd stop around this morning.'

'I know that house,' Grandma said. 'It's pretty nice. Lois Krishewitz used to own that house. She sold it two years ago when she broke her hip and had to move into assisted living.'

Valerie was on her feet. 'Just give me a minute to get a few things together for the baby, and then we can go look at it. We wanted to buy, but we can't seem to scrape together a down payment. This would give us more space in the meantime.'

'I'll get my purse,' my mother said.

'I'll come, too,' Sally said.

'Then, me too,' Grandma said.

'We can take my bus,' Sally said. 'We'll have more room.'

'This is gonna be cool,' Grandma said, starting for the door. 'We're gonna be just like the Partridge family. Remember when they all traveled around in that bus?'

Don't panic, I told myself. We're just going a short distance. If you sit low in your seat no one will see you.

Valerie had the baby in a carrier on her back and the big patchwork quilt diaper bag over her shoulder. 'Where's my purse?' she asked. 'I need my purse.' Grandma handed Val her purse. And Val draped her big shoulder bag over her free shoulder.

'Jeez, Val,' I said, 'let me give you a hand with some of that.'

Thanks,' she said, 'but I'm balanced this way. I do this all the time.'

I don't mean to sound cynical, but if Val ever needed fast cash we could probably get her a job as a pack animal. She could work alongside the mules that take people into the Grand Canyon.

'I've got my checkbook,' my mother said, closing the door behind us. 'Just in case we like the house.'

Valerie lumbered down the porch steps, followed by Grandma.

'I want the front seat,' Grandma said, hurrying along. 'I don't want to miss anything.'

It was a crisp blue-sky morning, and Sally's big hoop earring gleamed gold in the sunlight as he took the wheel. He was wearing a Buzz Lightyear T-shirt, his usual ratty sneakers, and ripped jeans.

He had a shark tooth necklace around his neck, and the volume of his hair seemed to have increased since I saw him last. He settled little heart-shaped Lolita-type sunglasses on his big hook nose, and he started the bus.

'You gotta turn at the corner,' Grandma told him. Then you go two blocks and make a right.'

Sally took the first corner wide, and Grandma slid off her seat, onto the floor. 'Fuck,' Sally said, looking down at Grandma. Snap.

'Don't worry about me,' Grandma said, righting herself. 'I just didn't remember to hold on. I don't know how all those little kids do it. These seats are slippery.'

'The kids are all over the fucking bus all the time,' Sally said. 'Oh shit.' Snap, snap.

'Sounds like you're having a relapse,' Grandma said to Sally. 'You were doing real good for a while there.'

'I have to concentrate,' Sally told her. 'Its hard to stop doing something that took me years to perfect.'

'I can see that,' Grandma said. 'And it's a shame you have to give up something you're so good at.'

'Yeah, but it's for a good cause,' Sally said. It's for the little dudes.'

Sally eased the bus up to the curb in front of the rental house and opened the door with a whoosh of the hydraulic. 'Here we are.' he said. 'Everybody out.'

I tagged along after my mother, Grandma Mazur, Valerie and the baby, and Sally as they all hustled up to the front porch. My mother knocked on the landlords door, and everyone quieted down for a moment. My mother knocked a second time. Still, no one opened the door.

'That's odd,' Grandma said. 'I thought she was supposed to be home.'

Sally put his ear to the door. 'I think I hear someone breathing in there.'

Probably she was on the floor, having a coronary. A herd of lunatics just got out of a big yellow school bus and descended on her porch. 'You better open up if you're in there,' Grandma yelled. 'We got a bounty hunter out here.'

The door cracked open, the security chain in place. 'Edna? Is that you?' the woman asked.

Grandma Mazur squinted at the eyes behind the door. 'Yep, it's me,' she said. 'Who are you?'

'Esther Hamish. I always sit by you at bingo.'

'Esther Hamish!' Grandma said. 'I didn't know you were the one who bought this house.'

'Yep,' Esther said. 'I had some money socked away from Harry's insurance policy, God bless him, may he rest in peace.' Everyone made the sign of the cross. Rest in peace, we all said.

'Well, we come to see about the rental,' Grandma told Esther. 'This here's my granddaughter. She's looking for a place.'

'How nice,' Esther said. 'Let me get the key. You had me going for a minute there. I've never had a school bus park in front of my house before.'

'Yeah,' Grandma said. 'It's new to us, too, but we're getting used to it. I like that it's a nice cheery yellow. Its a real happy color.'

'Problem is, it blocks the view of the street. Of course I guess it could be worse. We could have our view blocked by one of those vans that carries aliens around. I was listening to news on the radio, and they said a bunch of aliens were found dead from heatstroke in one of them vans yesterday. Imagine that. Here these poor creatures travel through space to get to us, all those light years and galaxies away, and then they die from heat stroke in a van.'

'What a shame,' Esther said.

'I'm just glad it wasn't in front of my house,' Grandma said. I'd feel terrible if I had to find ET dead in a van.'