∨ The Beach ∧

61

Zombie Fish-Eaters

It was dark by the time we got our act together. We had to jump into pitch blackness, unable to see the edges of the pool or even the white foam where the waterfall landed. Then we had to find our way through the forest, something I’d have found difficult without Jed to guide me.

My plan was to eat some food quickly and spend the rest of the evening swimming in the phosphorescence. I also wanted to tell my friends about the sleeping dope guard, which had slipped my mind in the excitement of the previous night. But when I got to the kitchen hut, I discovered that our banana-leaf food parcels were missing. All I found was a cold pile of boiled rice. Next, I hunted for the big cooking pot, assuming Unhygienix had just forgotten to lay the fish and veg out, but the pot was empty too. That was strange because usually the cooks kept some dregs for the next morning’s breakfast. Pensively, I patted my empty stomach and looked around me. Then I noticed something else, even more strange. Apart from Jed, who was sitting a few metres away, the clearing seemed to be completely empty. I couldn’t see any joint-butts glowing in the darkness, or torches inside tents.

I walked over to Jed. ‘You notice anything weird?’ I said.

He shrugged. ‘Only that I can’t see my food.’

‘Well…exactly. There isn’t any food. And there aren’t any people either.’

‘People?’ Jed shone his Maglite around him.

‘See what I mean?’

‘…Yeah.’ He stood up. ‘That is weird…’

We gazed about us for a few seconds, following the yellow beam.

Then, from somewhere close by there was a loud moan, clearly the sound of someone in pain.

‘Jesus!’ Jed whispered, and switched off the light. ‘Did you hear that?’

‘Of course I did!’

‘Who was it?’

‘How should I know?’

We paused, listening carefully. Then we heard the moan again and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up.

‘Christ, Jed! Put the torch back on! This is making me nervous!’

‘…If you’re nervous, why are you smiling?’

‘…How did you know I was smiling?’

‘I could hear it in your voice.’

‘Just put the bloody light back on!’

‘No,’ he hissed. ‘We don’t know what’s going on yet.’

We listened some more. I remembered my first morning on the beach, waking up after my fever to an empty clearing. I’d found it pretty freaky in broad daylight. There was something unsettling about an empty place that you knew should be full of people. In the blackness with the eerie moans it was ten times as bad.

‘This is like a zombie film,’ I muttered darkly, and giggled. ‘Zombie Flesh-Eaters.’ Jed didn’t reply.

The next time we heard the moan we were able to place it. It was coming from our left, around where most of the tents were pitched.

‘OK,’ said Jed. ‘We’ll investigate. You take point.’

‘Me? You’ve got the torch!’

‘I need to hold it so you’ve got both your hands free.’

‘Free for what?’

‘Fighting off the zombies.’

Jed flicked the beam on and illuminated Unhygienix’s tent, so I mumbled a swear-word and began slowly walking towards it.

I’d only gone a few feet when the flap opened and Ella’s head poked out. ‘Jed?’ she said, squinting against the glare.

‘Richard.’

‘And Jed. What’s going on, Ella?’

She shook her head. ‘Come inside. It’s a disaster.’

‘It was Keaty,’ Ella explained, mopping at Unhygienix’s forehead. It had been Unhygienix who was moaning, and he continued to do so while we were talking. His eyes were closed and he was clutching his great brown belly in both hands. I don’t think he was even aware we were in the tent. ‘That idiot.’

I raised my eyebrows. ‘Why? What did he do?’

‘He put a squid in one of the fishing buckets, and we chopped it up and chucked it in with everything else.’

‘So?’

‘The squid was already dead when he speared it.’

Jed sucked in his breath sharply.

‘Most of the camp are sick. The bathroom hut is clogged with vomit, and you don’t want to go near the Khyber Pass.’

‘What about you?’ I asked. ‘You seem OK.’

‘Five or six of us are all right. I’ve got a few pains, but it looks like I’ve been lucky.’

‘And why did Keaty spear a dead squid?’

Ella narrowed her eyes. ‘I’d like to ask him that myself. We’d all like to ask him that.’

‘Yeah…Where is he? In his tent?’

‘Maybe.’

‘OK. Well, I’ll go and see him…’

I chose the right moment to leave because as I was backing out, Unhygienix sat bolt upright and vomited everywhere. I vanished quickly into the darkness with Ella’s furious screams ringing in my ears.

It took me ages to find Keaty. He wasn’t in his tent and there was no response in the clearing when I called his name. Eventually I decided to check the beach, where I spotted him, sitting in a patch of moonlight a little way down the shore.

When he saw me coming towards him he made a movement, as if he were half considering running away. Then he relaxed and his shoulders slumped. ‘Hi,’ he said in a low voice.

I nodded and sat beside him.

‘I’m not flavour of the month, Rich.’

‘…Neither is squid.’

He didn’t laugh.

‘So what happened?’

‘Don’t you know? I poisoned the camp.’

‘Yeah, but…’

‘I was using Greg’s mask, I saw this squid, we’ve eaten squid a hundred times before, so I speared it and chucked it in the bucket. How was I supposed to know it was already dead?’

‘…Because it wasn’t moving.’

He glared at me. ‘Well I know that now! But I thought…I thought squid were like jellyfish. They just floated around and…and its arms looked like they were moving…’

‘So it was a mistake. It wasn’t your fault.’

‘Yes, Rich. That’s right. It was Jean’s fault.’ He paused to punch the sand between his legs. ‘Of course it was my fucking fault! Jesus!

‘OK…it was your fault, but you shouldn’t…’

‘Rich,’ he interrupted. ‘Please.’

I shrugged and looked away. Across the lagoon, the moonlight was catching the jagged fissure that ran down the cliffs to the coral garden. ‘Kapow,’ I said quietly.

Keaty leant forward. ‘What?’

‘Kapow.’

‘…Why?’

‘Just because that’s the sound lightning makes.’ I pointed at the fissure. ‘See?’

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