The Cain Casey Series

Chapter Twenty-Five

The restaurant Irene’s was dimly lit and full of soft conversations. Cain wanted to spend a few hours with Hayden before the business of the night started. “Hey, kiddo, thanks for having dinner with me. I want to talk to you.” She sat back with a glass of iced tea, looked across the table at her son, and mentally clicked through her montage of memories. She relived the past years, which had given Hayden the fine-chiseled features that branded him a Casey.

“I’m kinda glad to get some time alone with you too. Maybe now you’ll tell me what’s going on. Please, Mom, I want to know, and it’s not like Mook to be so quiet about stuff.”

“Hayden, don’t be in such a hurry to grow up, buddy. Life throws the years at your feet soon enough, so learn to enjoy each stage as it happens. When I was your age my main concern was a redheaded girl named Caroline who lived down the block.”

“Grandpa didn’t have you doing stuff? ’Cause uncle Jarvis told me he was always teaching you things.” The paper on the sugar packet in Hayden’s fingers was getting thin from his constant flicking.

“He was always teaching me things, that’s true, but not always about what you think. When I was eleven it was how to get Caroline to realize I was alive. Why? Do you feel like I’m neglecting your education?”

“No…well, sort of.” Hayden’s shoulders caved in a little. “I want to be ready, you know?”

“For what?” A quick dip of her head to try and catch his eye didn’t work, so she tapped her finger on the table.

“I want to be ready when it’s my time. You make running the business look so easy, and I don’t want to mess up.”

“Kiddo, all this isn’t carved in stone. Is running the business, the family, something you want to do? You have other career choices, you know.”

“No, I want that more than anything, unless you think I’m not cut out for it.”

“Lesson one, sit up straight and square your shoulders.”

The defeated posture melted away as Hayden smiled and took her advice.

“You control your life, son, not the other way around.”

“What else?”

“Just remember you’re a Casey and you belong to me, but only for a little while. The day will come when it’s your turn to pass down the traditions we’ve held dear for generations, and I promise you on everything I hold dear, you’ll be ready.”

“What’d you want to talk to me about?”

Cain drummed her fingers on the table as a delay tactic. Hayden wasn’t going to like the rest of what she had to say, and in truth she could have just skipped the talk all together. Had they shared any other kind of relationship that was what she might have done. But the trust she had built with Hayden came from never lying to him, if she could help it, and preparing him for the worst.

“This is something my father told your uncle Billy and me when we were coming up. For Billy it made sense, but it forecast how my life would turn out.”

“I thought he liked the way you turned out?”

The open look from Hayden toward her fingers made her stop the nervous habit.

“Yeah, he was proud of me and he loved me. Pop just didn’t treat me any differently from Billy. He lived by certain rules, and because we were his kids he expected us not to stray too far from them.”

Hayden sat up a little straighter and smiled as he sensed another Casey family treasure about to come out of the chest of his mother’s memory. “Sometimes my one wish is that I’d known him.”

“Oh, I think you, Hayden Dalton Casey, would have been one of his favorite subjects, so it’s only appropriate for you to know his philosophy of life. To be a man, you’ve got to hold certain things sacred above everything else. To respect yourself so you can live with the decisions you’ll have to make. To respect your wife because she’s your mate and hopefully the mother of your children. To find someone whom you can trust with both your heart and your secrets. Being able to do that will give you a safe haven. The most important thing, though, is to respect your mother and your family. A man who doesn’t respect them has no honor.”

Hayden reacted as if he were a balloon and she had pricked him with a pin. Her father had shared this philosophy at Hayden’s age because it had something to do with the pretty little Caroline. For her the lesson was easy, but her mother Therese had always been supportive and loving, so much of a fixture in their lives they never thought about the day she wouldn’t be. This lesson for Hayden, though, presented more of a moral dilemma.

During the past four years, Cain had raised a smart, caring boy who thought before he opened his mouth, unlike his uncle Billy. That was why she had taken Dalton’s place when her father died. Hold your counsel, Cain, and only let those closest to you know your thoughts. To speak without thinking will lead you to an early grave, or to a very small cinder-block cell. She could remember her father telling her that over and over.

“Where does that leave us?” Hayden was like Cain’s mother, with her sharp mind and matching wit.

Cain laughed and waited for the server to put their soup bowls down. “In a bit of a quandary, don’t you think?”

He laughed along with her, straightened his shoulders, and sat up again.

“Buddy, I’m giving you a sense of where you come from. Once you know that, it’s easier to get where you’re going.”

“She didn’t respect us, so it’s not so easy to respect her. Maybe with time?”

“Your mother’s in town.” She watched him jump up and storm out to the front of the restaurant, with Mook and Merrick in pursuit. “Well, that went well.”

“Are you leaving, Cain?” The waiter came to remove the dishes and cancel their order, if that was what she wanted.

“No, just hold these and reheat them when I reel him back in. Tell George to hold off on the main courses. We won’t be long.” She buttoned her coat and almost laughed when the rest of the armed entourage followed her out. “I’m going to move to a farm in Wisconsin,” she muttered. The guards were necessary, but they were tough in private moments.

“Stop walking, Hayden.” Her voice carried down the sidewalk, and he took another five steps before he stopped. Rebellion is a good thing in small doses, but it only goes downhill from here the older he gets. The thought reminded her of her youth and the more than many times she had pushed her parents’ patience.

“Why is she here?”

Cain walked half the distance between them. If Hayden wanted to have this conversation, it would not be a screaming match in the street.

The boy took the hint and closed the gap.

“If you want the answer, then I suggest you go back in there and sit down. If that’s not agreeable, then we’ll go home, but don’t you walk out and give Bracato a free shot. You do that again, and Emma Casey won’t be at the top of your list of concerns. We understand each other?”

Her voice left no room for discussion. Cain had never lifted a hand against him, and nothing he could ever do would push her over that line, but he never wanted to face the consequences of truly upsetting her. “Yes, ma’am.”

Two fresh bowls of soup arrived, and both Caseys concentrated on eating. Cain consumed more than half her bowl before she started talking again. “To answer your question, she’s here to make amends.”

“It isn’t that easy.”

The napkin returned to her lap after she wiped her mouth. “Another important lesson in life, son, is the disappointment you’ll feel when you find out everything isn’t always about you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” His smile could only mean his good spirits had returned.

“That before you came along and became the center of our world, there was an us. In other words, we were capable of enjoying life before you were born. She’s here to make amends to me.”

“What are you asking me here? You want her back, and you need my permission?”

She laughed, glad that her own good humor had returned. “My, aren’t we full of spunk tonight.” She reached across the table and took his hand to keep him in his seat. “Go back and think of a time when you didn’t hate her.”

“Why?”

“Because tonight I need you to do that. Life’s a gamble if you choose this way of living it, Hayden. If you learn anything at all from me, let it be that, and take it to heart before you accept the reins that’ll look all too enticing. Responsibility is more than just getting to give orders. It’s sometimes sacrificing everything and everyone you love in order to protect them.”

“Why tonight?”

“Dammit, son, because I want what was once my safe haven to be yours, if it comes to that.” She stopped talking and ran her fingers through her hair to calm down. Tonight was not the time to say something she would regret, or want him to look back later and feel the same way. The last meeting with her father was burned into her memory, down to the color of the sky when she turned to wave good-bye.

She wasn’t planning for her life to end in the middle of her warehouse tonight, but if it did, her son would look back on this night as one where his mother sent him on his way with as much knowledge as she could cram into their short time together. “Whatever else I feel for your mother, I know she’ll protect you.”

“I don’t need--”

“Yes, you do. You’re eleven, so yes, you do.”

Hayden looked as close to panicked as Cain had ever seen him. “Then don’t go. Wherever you’re going, don’t.”

She moved around and knelt next to his chair. “Son, no one’s taking anything away from you. Not me, and certainly not Emma. Remember, you belong to me, but only for a while. What do you think that means?”

The tears were shutting his brain down, and he couldn’t think. “I don’t know.”

“That I can teach you everything I know. Tell you everything I’ve learned from every experience I’ve ever had, but the time will come when Hayden has to pick what Hayden wants. It’s your life, and I want you to live it how you want. I didn’t raise a coward, and neither did my father. I raised a boy who’ll grow to be a strong leader and an accomplished man because he’s sure of his life. If that means you become a cheese maker and farmer, a long line of Irish ancestors will haunt you as you churn, but so be it. But I want you to promise me you’ll be whole and stay safe so the day will come for you to walk that road.”

“Only if you promise to walk it with me.”

She bent a little from the weight of his hug, but she returned it with the same intensity. “I promise, buddy. You never even have to turn around to check. I’ll always be there for you.”

They finished their meal with the same laughs they usually shared. When the dishes were cleared and she indulged him in a latte, Hayden had one more question. “Did Caroline ever talk to you?”

“You bet she did.”

He leaned forward and put his hands up. “Well?”

“What’s her name?”

“Who?”

“The girl who’s got you so full of questions all of a sudden.”

He blushed and dropped his eyes a minute. “Melinda.”

“I see, and she hasn’t noticed you? Hard to believe.”

“Mom, please, what did Grandpa say?”

“It’s easy. You walk up to her and just say hi. Introducing yourself is good too, and then ask her out for ice cream.” She tried hard not to smile at Hayden’s growing frustration.

“And it’s that easy?”

“Make sure you’re not wearing sunglasses at the time, and comb your hair.”

The blue eyes squinted in his confusion. “What?”

“Hayden, your heritage is more than whiskey and business. Look in the mirror sometime. Not to sound like an egomaniac, but the Casey clan isn’t a bad-looking lot. Big blue eyes and coal black hair will get you past whatever reservation she has and get you that first ice cream date. After that, it’s up to you, but lucky for you we’re known for a little charm as well. It’s not just about the looks, it’s the whole package, and you’ve got it. Trust me on this one. Women will never be your problem. You turn into a butthead about it, though, and you’ll have one big problem.”

“What, angry dads?”

“Worse. The fact is, I’m female too, and I’ll be watching you.”

Hayden blushed and laughed a little as he thought about some of the stories his uncle Jarvis had regaled him with. His time was just beginning, that was true, but it was hard not to compare himself to Cain. She was more than capable with the ladies, and if he fell a little short on that score, it would be hard to live down.