He doesn’t see his kitty anywhere. While searching the room, he smells smoke. It is coming from the bathroom. As Franklin enters the bathroom, he finds a fire pit in the bathtub. His cat has been skewered on his cane sword and is roasting over the fire. He turns to Jujy with red watering eyes.

“I knew you wouldn’t want to eat any of the child, so I cooked you this.” She smiles at him, as if she did something very nice for him and is awaiting thanks.

Franklin’s words choke out of this throat. “She was my pet. How could you kill her?”

“You’re not allowed to have pets,” she says. “We have an egg now.”

When Franklin looks into her eyes, he doesn’t see Jujy anymore. He sees the woman who killed his brother and sisters. He sees an evil creature who should not be allowed to live.

Franklin picks up the cane sword with his false hand and stabs Jujy in the stomach with it.

She looks at him with a sad, confused face. Crabcake’s flaming corpse is still attached to the blade as Franklin shoves it deeper inside of the candy woman.

“You’re just a monster!” Franklin says. “You need to fucking die!”

Jujy watches him as he stabs deeper. “But you submitted your soul to me?”

“I’m not your submissive anymore,” Franklin says.

Jujy goes from sad to angry. She grabs Franklin by the waist and throws him to the ground. She cuts into his face and armpits.

“Submit to me,” she says.

Crabcake’s flames begin to melt Jujy’s candy skin.

“Submit,” she says.

Franklin punches her in the face. He grabs her by her cotton candy hair and bites into her shoulder. He bites through the strawberry-kiwi flavoring and into the meat, chewing her flesh and swallowing. Then he takes another bite out of her.

“I’m the dominant!” she cries. “You don’t eat me, I eat you!”

Jujy bites into his collarbone and peels off the skin. Every bite Franklin takes out of her, Jujy takes a bite out of him. They eat each other and cut into each other as they wrestle through the living room. The flames melt their candy coating into liquid. The sugar becomes caramelized and sticks them together.

After a while, Jujy’s biting becomes licking and kissing. Franklin continues to bite her.

“Please, stop,” she tells him.

Franklin doesn’t stop.

“I don’t want to kill you,” she says. “I love you.”

She kisses his cheek as he bites into her neck.

“I promise I won’t eat children anymore,” she says, crying. “I can eat human food if it will make you happy. I can be the submissive and you can be the dominant if you want. Or we can be equals. We can both be dominants. I don’t care. I just want to be with you.”

She grabs him by the throat and forces him to kiss her.

“You love me,” she says. “I know you do.”

“You’re a monster,” Franklin says.

“What about our baby?” she says. “You’re going to love our baby. I know it.”

She kisses Franklin again and he kisses her back.

The door breaks in and four policemen enter with guns pointed at them.

“Get down!” the cops shout.

Jujy jumps to her feet. The flaming sword slips out of her stomach and falls on the floor.

“Get down now!” the cops shout at her.

She doesn’t move.

One of the cops moves too close to the egg on the couch. Something snaps in Jujy when he sees the cop’s thigh brushing past the egg. She charges him. The other cops fire at her. The bullets break through her candy coating and enter her chest. She flies backwards and hits the floor next to Franklin.

She quivers on the ground. Blood oozes out between her razor teeth.

“She’s a real one,” says a cop with one eyebrow. “We’ve got ourselves another goddamned candy person.”

Jujy reaches her hands out to Franklin but he won’t take it.

“Kill the other one, too,” says the one-eyebrowed cop. “They’re dangerous.”

They point their guns at Franklin

“Don’t shoot,” Franklin says. He gets on his knees. “I’m not a real candy person. I’ve been her prisoner for weeks. She dressed me up to look like this. I’m human.”

The other cops look at the cop with one eyebrow, not sure what to make of Franklin.

“I’ll show you,” Franklin says.

Then he peels off the green candy shell on his chest. When the rancid odor hits the room, one of the policemen runs into the hallway to puke. Another officer shoots Franklin in the stomach.

Franklin hits the ground. He looks down at his skinless chest to see that his flesh has become so infected and swollen that it looks less human than it had with the candy coating. Blood and puss drain from his bullet wound. A few ants crawl out of the hole.

“Arrest him,” says the cop with one eyebrow.

Franklin is rolled over on his stomach. His skinless meat rubs against the carpeting, picking up dirt, cigarette butts, and particles of kitty litter. As the cop tries to handcuff him, his false hand pops off.

“In my pocket,” Franklin says to the cop on his back. “I have all the information you’ll need to kill them.”

“Shut up,” says the cop as he handcuffs Franklin’s good arm to his ankle.

The cops stop yelling at Franklin when they hear a cracking sound. They look towards the couch and see the egg is hatching. Jujy wraps her blue hand around Franklin’s arm stump.

“Look,” she says. “It’s hatching. Our baby is being born.”

The baby arm reaches out of the Cadbury crème egg, covered in caramel sauce.

“Holy shit,” says the cop with one eyebrow. “There’s a kid in there.”

He orders another officer to get the child out of the egg. When the policeman pulls out the baby, Franklin sees a human baby. It doesn’t have cotton candy hair or taffy skin. It is completely human.

Then one of the cops says, “What the hell is wrong with its eyes?”

The other cops look at the baby.

“The eyes… They’re jellybeans.”

Well, perhaps not completely human.

“She’s beautiful,” Jujy says to Franklin as her blood pools across the floor. “Our baby is so beautiful.”

Franklin’s blood drains out of his chest and mixes with Jujy’s. The last thing he sees before he dies are the baby’s green jellybean eyes staring back at him.

A Roald Dahlesque children’s story about two faggy vampires who partake in a mustache competition to find out which one is truly the faggiest.


AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.COM

What would you do if your normal everyday world was slowly mutating into the video game world from Tron?


AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.COM

“Battle Royale” meets “Return of the Living Dead”. Mellick’s bizarro tribute to the zombie genre.


AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.COM

All of the characters ever played by William Shatner are suddenly sucked into our world. Their mission: hunt down and destroy the real William Shatner!


AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.COM

It’s Monty Python meets Nazi Exploitation in a surreal nightmare as can only be imagined by bizarro author Cameron Pierce.


AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.COM

Загрузка...