CHAPTER FIVE

When Faye had seen the children tucked up she returned downstairs, where Garth was on the sofa drinking brandy. He handed her a glass of sherry that he'd poured for her.

'I thought you might need something to recover,' he said.

'Shall I check that everything's locked up?'

'No, I've just done it. Though it seems a wasted effort,' he observed wryly, 'since we have a dog that's keeping open house. What's so funny?' Faye had given a choke of laughter.

'I'm sorry,' she said. 'I was just trying to recall who said that once we were at Elm Ridge Barker couldn't cause any more trouble.'

Garth grinned. 'He was a short-sighted fool, whoever he was.'

'Oh, dear! That policeman's face!'

He gave a shout of laughter.

'Hush, you'll rouse the house,' she said, but her own mirth was bubbling up. She met his eye and suddenly the joke became hilarious. She leaned back against the sofa and laughed until she nearly cried. To her delight Garth was afflicted the same way. He gripped her hand, and she clasped him back, sharing the moment.

When the attack passed they sat together, giving vent to the occasional chuckle. His glance fell on her hand, still held in his. He grew quite still, then he raised it and brushed it against his cheek.

'What happened?' he asked quietly. 'Once, we were nlways laughing like that. Where did we lose it?'

At first she couldn't answer. His gesture had taken her breath away.

'It disappeared bit by bit,' she said slowly. 'We grew in different directions.'

'But did we have to? Couldn't we have stopped it?'

'I don't know,' she sighed. 'Perhaps we couldn't. We wanted such different things.'

'I never knew that,' he said after a while. 'I thought we wanted the same.'

'I tried to. When I couldn't see things your way, I pretended I did. But the pretence became too much. Something had to give. I know now that I was never the wife for you.'

'I don't believe that,' he said simply.

He raised her hand again, brushing his lips over the back of it. It was a tender, rather than a lover-like gesture. Garth seemed lost in some private dream, only half- knowing what he did. But Faye was intensely aware of his touch, of the sudden beating of her heart, and of a feeling of danger. For a moment she wanted nothing so much as to throw herself into his arms. But she backed away from the feeling.

'It was a lovely evening, wasn't it?' he said.

'It was wonderful,' she told him sincerely.

He looked down at the hand still clasped in his. It was her left, and a band encircled her wedding finger. 'That's not my ring. Did he give it to you?'

'No. I bought it from a market stall.'

'You don't really belong to either of us, huh?'

'Just myself, for a while. I think I should go to bed now. Thank you for a lovely evening, Garth.'

With an almost inaudible sigh her released her. 'Goodnight, Faye.'

She slipped away hurriedly and didn't stop until she'd closed the door of her bedroom behind her. In a few short moments Garth had approached the very heart that she'd shielded against him. She hadn't meant to let it happen, but his gentle, almost wistful, tenderness had taken her by surprise.

The feelings coursing through her were devastating: an irrational sense of happiness, hope, expectancy. Like a giddy teenager, she thought, when the idol first glanced her way. Like herself, ten years ago. Was that why she had the shocking feeling that she'd betrayed Kendall?

But the children needed their parents to be friendly, she reminded herself. When the divorce finally came, they would be happier, knowing that they didn't have to divide their loyalties.

So that was all right, she thought, with relief. She was only doing what was best for Cindy and Adrian and there was no need to feel guilty.

The end of the school term was in sight. The children had started marking off the days and chanting, 'Twelve more days to the holidays. Eleven more days to the holidays. Ten more days…'

'Mummy, have you signed our forms?' Adrian asked one morning as they were leaving the breakfast table. Garth had already departed.

'Forms?' Faye asked blankly.

'The forms about the end of term party,' Adrian explained. 'You're supposed to sign them to say it's all right for us to be home late that day. We have to take them back this morning.'

'Oh, yes, let me find them.'

'I've just put them in front of you,' Adrian said patiently.

'Sorry. Yes. Fine.' Faye hastily signed, aware that her c hildren were giving her puzzled looks.

'Are you all right, Mummy?' Adrian asked.

'Of course I am, darling.'

'It's just that you've been funny lately,' Cindy said. 'You keep going all vague.'

'Nonsense,' Faye said, shaken by her daughter's perception.

'You do, Mummy,' Adrian insisted. 'We say things, and you don't answer.'

'I've got a lot on my mind. Now come on, you kids. I'm going out to warm the engine. You have ten seconds to explain to Barker that you aren't abandoning him for ever. And Cindy, please try to get it through to him this time, because I don't want any more scratch marks on my car.'

She escaped with relief, but she couldn't relax until she'd delivered them to school and could be alone. It was true that she'd been in a strange mood recently. Since the night of her birthday her mind had been troubled, and so had her heart.

Garth had argued and fought her for weeks and she'd held him off. But that night he'd spoken to her quietly and with a touch of wistfulness. For a few minutes she could almost have believed that the man she'd loved still lived somewhere deep in his shell. When he'd brushed her hand against his cheek in unconscious echo of their first date, her confusion had been so great she'd almost snatched her hand away.

She was in more danger now than she'd been since she confronted him two months ago. Suddenly her heart was dreaming impossible dreams, the kind she'd thought she'd put away for ever. Her head was protesting, telling her to see reason, but the voice of common sense was alarmingly faint.

She ought to visit Kendall and let him reassure her. But suddenly she felt unable to look Kendall in the face.

When she reached home she went, as if by instinct, into the room where she and Garth had sat together that night. There was the sofa on which he'd taken her hand…

Her eyes fell on a folder of papers. She'd seen Garth bring it out of his study that very morning, ready to take to work. And he'd left it behind.

Faye snatched up the phone and dialled his office. She was put through to Mary, Garth's secretary, a pleasant, middle-aged woman whom Faye had met several times and liked.

'Mr Clayton is in a meeting and said he wasn't to be disturbed,' she said. 'Can I help?'

Faye was about to tell her about the papers when she was stopped by the memory of a similar incident, years ago. Garth had been annoyed that she'd innocently revealed to one of his staff that he'd made a mistake. It was part of his creed never to show weakness to employees.

'I really do need to speak to him,' she persisted. 'It's very important.'

'Just one moment.'

Mary's voice became fainter, as though she'd turned away. 'It's Mrs Clayton. What shall I do? He said no interruptions.'

From far back in the room Faye could hear another voice that she recognized as Lysandra Bates. 'Go carefully. She's got to be kept sweet. The anniversary range is really important to Garth. I'd better talk to her myself.'

There was a scuffling sound as the phone changed hands, then the woman spoke again in a tone of professional amiability.

'Good afternoon, Mrs Clayton. I'm Lysandra Bates.'

'Yes, we've talked before,' Faye said pleasantly.

'Oh, that hardly counts, does it?' Lysandra said with a small laugh. 'I've been looking forward to meeting you properly, so that we can talk about the arrangements.'

'Arrangements?' Faye asked.

'The publicity arrangements for the anniversary range. It's so delightful that your tenth wedding anniversary coincides with our new range of family houses. I expect Garth has told you that they're going to be marketed with an emphasis on the stability of family life, and a couple who've been married for ten years just epitomizes stability, don't you think?'

Nobody could have guessed from her tone that only recently she'd been shocked to discover that Faye had returned to her husband's home.

'I'm not quite sure,' Faye said very slowly. She was controlling her words, because the thought that was forming in her head was surely too monstrous to be true.

'Well, I expect you find it hard to visualize,' Lysandra Bates conceded in her sweet, icy voice. 'It'll be easier for you when you see everything laid out. The gist of it is that these are houses where couples will want to raise their families, and no one knows that better than the man who built them, and who's celebrating his own tenth wedding anniversary. And, of course, the children. I am right about that, aren't I? You have two adorable children.'

'I do have two children, but I don't want them made a part of any publicity campaign.'

'Well, we can discuss that later,' Lysandra said dis- missively. 'I thought you and I might have lunch one day, to discuss how your anniversary should be presented. My diary's a bit full, but what would you say to the week after next?'

'I'm afraid not.'

'Well, I suppose it's a little far ahead. Perhaps I could squeeze you in-'

'Please don't trouble yourself,' Faye said firmly. 'I'm sure you're much too busy. Good day.'

She hung up and sat there, stunned, thinking how easily she'd been taken in! What a blind fool, to imagine that Garth had changed! She'd known what he was like, yet still she'd let him delude her with a few clever words and a show of attention to Cindy and Adrian.

But underneath he was as bad as ever. No, worse! To exploit his neglected children and his mockery of a marriage, showing the world a false picture of harmony, so that he could make money; even she had never thought he could do anything so monstrous. She could have wept to think of the feelings that had lit up the world for her recently. And it had all been a wicked mockery.

Garth was late home that night and Faye waited until he'd said goodnight to the children before she spoke to him.

'You're very quiet,' he observed.

'That's because I've been doing a lot of thinking.'

'About us?'

'About you. There is no "us", and there never will be.'

Something in her voice made him look at her sharply. 'What's up?'

'I've discovered the nasty little game you're playing.'

'Faye, what are you talking about? What "game"? I'm not playing games.'

'Oh, no, the making of money is deadly serious to you, isn't it? How stupid of me to forget it!'

'What's happened?' he asked quietly.

'I called you at work today. You left your papers behind on the sofa. But you were in a meeting and couldn't be disturbed.'

He made a sound of annoyance. 'I'm sorry about that. They should have put you through. Next time-'

'Garth, it's not about that. It's about the anniversary range-or should I say, the tenth anniversary range?'

He drew in a sharp breath. 'Damn!'

'Miss Bates naturally assumed I knew, since I'm part of the publicity. I'd have to be, wouldn't I, since you're featuring your happy, united family?'

'Faye, will you just hear me out? I was going to tell you at the proper time, in the proper way.'

'And what would have been the proper time and way to tell your wife that you've been going through the motions of wanting her back so that you could exploit her, and your children? It's all been a wicked pretence; the charming husband, the attentive father-anything to get us back under this roof in time for the press campaign. No wonder you pulled every trick! How could you have sold yourself as the perfect family man while we were living apart?'

'Will you let me speak? It's not the way you think-'

'Garth, you don't know what I think because if you did, you'd shrivel up inside.'

'That's why I didn't tell you before. I knew you'd misunderstand. This isn't a deep laid plot. Actually, it was you who put the idea into my head.'

'Oh, please-'

'It's true. When you came here that first night, everything you said about the tenth anniversary-I'd been searching for an angle for this range and suddenly it all fell into place.'

'And of course you had to make use of it.'

'Yes, I did. You know what I'm like. If a good idea comes to me I'll go for it. You solved a problem I'd been racking my brains over. It was almost like Providence, as though you'd been sent.'

'If that's how you think, I don't wonder you see me only as an adjunct to your business. I came here to talk about the end of a relationship that once meant something to both of us, and you thought Providence had sent me to solve your marketing problems. What were you doing when you kissed me? Conducting a feasibility test?'

'How dare you say that?' he snapped. 'That kiss was real. You knew that at the time; we both did.'

'Nonsense! You were faking. And so was /.'

Garth grew very pale and there was a look in his eyes that she'd never seen before. 'Would you like to prove that, right now?'

'Not now or ever. I'll never kiss you again, Garth. It's over. Finished. If there was any hope we could get back together, this kills it. I'm going to have that divorce, any way I can.'

'All right,' he said unexpectedly. 'I'll give you one.'

'What?'

'I'm offering you a deal. Stay here just a few weeks longer. Help me out with this publicity. Play my "game" if you're so sure that's what it is. Then you can have a divorce on any terms you like.'

'I don't believe you,' Faye said slowly. 'This is another trick.'

'I swear it isn't. An easy divorce. Your terms. The only condition I make is that afterwards I see my kids as often as I want-as often as they want. And I'll want to see them plenty.'

'You'd better. If you let them down I'll never forgive you.'

'I won't let them down, Faye. Things have changed. You think it's all been an act, but it hasn't. I've learned to appreciate them now and I'm grateful to you for helping me do that. But I need your help again, one last time. Cooperate over the tenth anniversary, and I'll never ask you for anything else again.'

'What exactly do you want me to do?'

'Stay here. Let the world think we're a happy family. And don't see Kendall Haines.'

Faye gave a bitter laugh to cover the pain. 'I see. This is nothing but an excuse to stop me seeing my fiance.'

'Don't call him that,' Garth snapped.

'It's what he is. Oh, Garth, you're so transparent! You really thought I'd be daft enough to fall for this one? Kendall is the man I'm going to marry and you're not going to separate me from him. And if that spoils your publicity, why don't you hire someone from Central Casting? She'd probably make a better job of pretending to be your wife than I would.'

'You don't give an inch, do you?' Garth said bitterly.

'I feel safer that way.'

She left the room before he could answer and slipped away into the grounds, where she could lose herself among the bushes. At last she sat down on a tree stump and stared out at the stars. It was all so beautiful and peaceful, but there was no peace in her heart.

She covered her eyes, trying to fight back the tears.

She knew that only strength would help her now, but she didn't seem to have any left.

She felt a freezing shock against her fingers, as though an ice cube had touched them. It turned out to be Barker's nose. He'd followed her.

'It's all right,' she said, drying her eyes. 'Everything's fine.'

He pushed his head under her hand and looked at her out of beautiful eyes. He didn't believe her.

'You're a lovely old boy, aren't you?' Faye said, putting her arms around him. It was a relief to hug the sturdy body and hide her face in his thick coat. Barker's tail thumped the ground. He was doing what he did best.

As a child, Faye had confided her small tragedies to an all-wise teddy bear. Now there was Barker, warm and responsive, who would listen without judgement and break no confidences.

'I've been so stupid,' she told him sadly. 'I thought I was strong enough to cope with Garth, but I was kidding myself. I wanted him to be like he was before: wonderful. And that was really silly of me, wasn't it?'

His eyes were so full of understanding that it was almost as if he'd spoken. Anyone had the right to be silly.

'Yes, but I was worse than silly, because I know what he's like, yet I still let myself- Well, anyway it's over between us.'

A small crease appeared between Barker's eyes. Sure about that?

'It was over two years ago,' she said, fondling his soft ears. 'I love Kendall now.'

At the sound of Kendall's name, Barker gave the soft, yearning woof of a dog who'd discovered aniseed and never forgotten his benefactor.

'You're perfectly right,' Faye said, brightening. 'Kendall's the one I need to talk to.' She rubbed Barker's head gratefully. 'Why didn't I think of that myself?'

He sighed. Because you're not crazy about aniseed.

She knew Garth was watching as she drove away. He would guess, of course, where she was going but she was too angry to care.

Kendall received her news thoughtfully. 'And this way we'd be sure of getting the divorce?' he asked.

'So he says. How do I know he'd stick to that?'

'Oddly enough, I believe he would. I don't like your husband, but I think he's a man of his word.'

'You're right,' Faye said slowly. 'But still-it would mean we wouldn't be able to see each other for weeks.'

'We might sneak the occasional meeting.'

'No,' she said regretfully. 'I can't expect Garth to keep his word if I don't keep mine. We must stay apart, to make sure we can be together afterwards.'

'As long as it doesn't go on too long,' he said. 'You know this is a risk. If you don't love me as much as you say-'

'But I do,' she said firmly. 'You know that.'

'Yes, of course I do.'

Barker greeted her as soon as she returned home, eagerly sniffing her hands and pockets. When he found no aniseed he gave her the indignant look of a dog who'd been thoroughly conned. Faye pushed him aside with difficulty and went to Garth's study, firmly shutting the door.

Despite the late hour he was still up, working. He pushed the work away and regarded her tensely. He looked tired and he'd torn open the front of his shirt, as though he needed to breathe more easily.

'I've been to see Ken,' she told him. 'We've talked it over and he thinks I should do this. So you've got your deal.'

Instead of pleasing Garth, this seemed to annoy him. 'I don't need that man's permission for anything I want to do,' he growled.

'Not his permission, his blessing,' she retorted. 'I wouldn't do it without that. You said yourself I don't belong to either of you. But if I did it would be Ken, not you.'

'You'll never belong to any other man,' Garth said with a sudden flash of temper. 'As long as I want you, you belong to me.'

'As long as you want me,' Faye echoed. 'But you didn't want me very long, did you, Garth? Not really want me. A mother to your children, yes. But when I grew up you were either hostile or indifferent. A divorce will be as good for you as for me. Then you can marry a doll who'll never answer back.'

'You know nothing about me if you can say a damned fool thing like that.'

'Well, perhaps I never did really know you,' she agreed. 'Or you me. It's better this way. I'll stay with you until the marketing campaign is launched, but only to get the divorce. And I have conditions too.'

'Which are?'

'We leave the children out of it. They're not going to be involved in the publicity. And I won't stop them seeing Ken.'

'I'd rather they didn't.'

'I'm sorry, those are my terms. They like him. Cindy calls him for advice about Barker and Adrian is involved with one of Ken's countryside campaigns. I don't want you worrying them with our private quarrels.'

'And the other condition?' he asked.

'You stay right away from me, or the deal's off.'

'I suppose Haines thought of that one?'

'No, it's all my own idea. I want your solemn promise.'

He sighed. 'Very well. You have my word.'

'So that's settled.' She waited, wondering if he would say something more, but he only shrugged. Once Garth had concluded a deal on the best terms he could get, it wasn't his way to waste time on a post-mortem.

'I hope this means that we won't argue so much, Garth.'

'I've never liked arguing with you.'

'No, you just prefer me to give in without a fight,' she said lightly. 'But this is a business arrangement. Nothing more.'

'Nothing more,' he murmured.

'I'll keep my side and I expect you to keep yours.'

Garth leaned back and regarded her with a wry grin. 'You've become a tough negotiator. You know what you want, and you won't settle for less.'

'You should offer me a job with your firm. I seem to have all the qualifications.'

'Well, maybe I- What the devil is the matter with that dog? He's been trying to scratch the door down ever since you came in here.'

'I'll see to him, then I'm going to bed.'

'Won't you join me in a drink, to celebrate our deal?'

She hesitated. 'No, but I'll shake hands with you, if you will.'

He looked at her little hand, firmly outstretched to him. After a while he took it gently in his own. 'To business,' he said.

'To business. Goodnight, Garth.' She left the room without looking back, so she didn't see him staring after her.

She had a curious sensation of light-headedness. It felt good to have made a stand, and actually stopped the Garth Clayton juggernaut in its tracks.

She wasn't left to muse for long. Barker, bent on sorting out the misunderstanding, followed her upstairs and waited determinedly in the hall while she kissed her sleeping children.

When she emerged he planted himself firmly in her path. But this, too, failed. Faye hugged him and called him loving names, but there was no aniseed. At last he accepted the perfidy of humans, and retired to his basket in a huff.

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