The Forever Knight

19

I couldn’t get Cricket to speak. She simply wouldn’t talk to me.

At first I barely noticed her silence. We were too busy riding out of Akyre to pay much attention to anything, and I kept worrying that Diriel was already sending his soldiers after us. I let Cricket take the lead again, confident she’d find us the fastest path south. We rode like that for over two hours, until our mounts were exhausted, and I was confident we weren’t being followed. Finally, when I called for Cricket to stop, I thought she didn’t hear me. She just kept right on galloping away.

“Hey!” I shouted. “Stop now!”

She jerked back the reins of her pony. The animal halted but Cricket didn’t turn around. I’d already lost patience with her. I was tired, hungry, and more than a little afraid. I should have seen what was happening to her.

“We’re gonna kill these horses if we don’t slow down,” I said, catching up to her. “The river’s close. We’ll find it and rest there. Nice and easy now.”

Cricket didn’t even nod. She rode off at a slow saunter. I kept back a few paces, taking the time to clear my head. To be honest I was grateful for the quiet. Malator must have sensed that, because he didn’t bother me either. My mind kept tripping over what I’d seen: the legion of the lost, that mad midget Grecht, even the peacock. I tried to remember everything Diriel had told me. I needed sleep. But we were on a dirt road, out in the open, and more than anything we needed shelter.

So we were going back to Isowon. Not just to warn them, but because I needed a place to hide Cricket. Wrestler was coming for her; I’d seen it in his eyes. Some sick kind of lust. Some men see a thing and have to have it. They get obsessed. Whatever it was, I knew Cricket wouldn’t be safe until we were far away from the Bitter Kingdoms or Wrestler was dead. I’d already made my choice, and it wasn’t to run away. I wanted to fight, not just Wrestler but the monster, too. I was making mistakes and knew it.

I let Cricket ride ahead of me for a while longer, hoping she’d calm down. In time she’d forgive me, I figured. She was owed an apology for being taken to Akyre, but I can’t abide being ignored. I’d never regretted taking Cricket with me or making her my squire until right then.

“If she were a boy she’d be less moody,” I grumbled. I dug into my saddlebag and took out an apple, one of the last Marilius had given us. Thinking it a good peace offering, I called out to Cricket. “You hungry?”

She rode on, swaying on her pony with her back to me.

“You haven’t eaten a thing today.” I held out the apple, hoping she’d turn around. “Here.”

When she didn’t answer me, I almost threw it at her.

“All right, enough,” I snapped. “Now you’re just acting like a child. What is it? Sky Falls? Or are you mad about Akyre?”

At last she muttered something, but I couldn’t make it out.

“You’re afraid. I know, but you don’t have to be,” I said. “We’ve got a week before they come. That’ll give us time to help Fallon plan a defense. No one’s going to hurt you, Cricket, I promise.”

That’s what set me off-making that promise and being ignored. I tossed the apple to the ground.

“We can run if that’s what you want,” I shouted. “Is it? But you won’t get your memories back. They’re here, not back in Jador. I’m not going to help Diriel get that monster. You know that. But we can’t just walk away from Marilius and the others. They’re innocent. They’ll be slaughtered. I don’t think that’s what you want, is it Cricket?”

At last she turned around to face me. “It’s just fine, Lukien.”

She smiled, an empty, blank smile. Like she didn’t know why. Like she wasn’t even seeing me. I’d seen that look before-vacant, lost. In battle we call it “the stare.” My guts seized.

“Yeah?” I asked carefully. “You’re all right?”

“Fine,” she sang. “Fine!”

She turned, spiked her heels against her pony, and drove the creature madly down the road. I sputtered before urging Zephyr after her, hearing her broken laughter as she sped away. She kept on singing and laughing, even screaming, bouncing on the pony’s back, about to be thrown over. Zephyr dug into the road. We closed the gap, and I saw Cricket’s gritty face, determined to outrun me. Then suddenly she let go of the reins and raised her hands to the sky.

“Catch me, Lukien!”

She was laughing. I reached for the reins, trying to bring her pony to a stop without spilling her over its head. When I finally got the beast to heel Cricket dumped herself from its back. She just fell off and hit the ground.

“Cricket!”

Slowly she lifted her bloodied face out of the dirt. She didn’t say a word. At least she’d stopped laughing. I got down from my horse and bent over her. She blinked up at me through the dust and blood.

“Lukien,” she whispered, “why did you take me there?”

I really had no answer. Cricket started shaking.

“I saw those things-now I can’t stop. Why’d you let me see them?”

“It was a horror,” I said. “I’m sorry. I am, Cricket. I’m sorry.”

“That man cut his throat. His own throat. Those slaves. .” Cricket pushed her face into mine. “They eat people!”

“I know, it’s impossible,” I fumbled for words. “You should never have seen it. I should never have taken you.”

“But why did you? Why, Lukien?” She grabbed my breastplate. “You’re supposed to protect me. We came here for me. You can’t die, but I can! And now it’s all inside me!”

I let her shake me until the tears came, until she drew back and crumpled. That’s when I knew what I’d done. Why hadn’t I seen it? She’d been brave in Diriel’s hell-hole. Even when that legionnaire slit his own throat. She’d buried it, the way soldiers do. Now it was breaking lose.

I rocked back on my heels. All I could do was let her purge herself.

“Cricket,” I said gently, “I’m a hard man. I’ve seen too much. It’s all poisoned me.” My mind was full of ghosts, the dead of my battlefields. Diriel’s castle had merely sickened me. A lifetime of death had made me impervious to shock. But Cricket, her mind was virgin. No more, though. “Malator was right,” I said. “I shouldn’t have brought you here. No one could have been ready for what we saw. Just me.”

Cricket swallowed her sobs. She laid herself down in the middle of the road, her cheek kissing the dirt. Her hand turned to a claw and raked her face, trailing it with red streaks.

“When will I remember?” she begged.

She wasn’t asking me. Her question was for heaven.

“Rest,” I told her. “Sleep if you can.”

I rearranged her rass-skin cape, covering her with it like a blanket. Her breathing steadied, but she never closed her eyes. I sat down next to her with the Sword of Angels on my lap. Nothing would disturb her, I determined. Not a wolf, not a man, not even a bad dream. Whatever came down the road to harm her, I swore an oath to kill it.

* * *

I built a fire at the side of the road. Not a single rider appeared or even the hint of one in the distance. As the sun went down I listened for animals but they never came, and I remembered what Diriel had said about how they’d all been eaten. It was like we were in the desert again. Only the stars seemed alive. I made myself comfortable by the fire, leaning against my bedroll and tossing scrub brush into the flames. It had taken hours for Cricket to fall asleep. She refused food and drink. I wondered if she had a concussion from her fall. The cut on her forehead had stopped bleeding, though. I cleaned her up while she lay there, lost in her own mind. Sleep would help her, I thought.

I’d pushed us both too hard. Despite the strength the sword gave me I needed sleep, too. I closed my eyes from time to time, drifting in and out of slumber, determined to stay awake. I doubted anyone would come, but just in case.

Once I thought I saw Wrestler coming. He appeared more giant than ever, a monster emerging from the darkness. I shouted, waking myself. I cursed and ran my fingers through my filthy hair. My eye twitched. I was desperate for a bath. Suddenly Fallon’s gilded castle seemed like paradise.

Soon, I told myself. Just have to hold on.

“Malator?” I whispered. “Where are you?”

He hadn’t come to me for hours. I could only barely feel him.

I’m here, he said inside my mind. He sounded tired.

“I need strength.”

You need sleep.

“Can’t. Just help me.”

I gripped the sword, waiting for the energy to fill me. It came but in a trickle.

“More.”

There’s no one to fight here, Lukien. That’s enough. I need strength too, you know.

“Keep me company, then,” I said. “Can you do that? I need to talk. I don’t want to be alone.”

I heard him laugh. Ah, so you don’t want to be rid of me anymore!

“Not just yet. Come be with me.”

He appeared at my left, shimmering into view in the firelight, sitting comfortably in the dirt like he’d been there all along. His handsome face bore none of the signs of his weariness. Malator just seemed eternally young. I envied him. Even though I was barely aging, I felt old. Malator studied Cricket as she slept. He turned back to me with a sigh.

“If only I could get into her head,” he lamented. “I wonder what I’d find there.”

“Something awful,” I said. “That’s all they have in this part of the world-awful things.”

“You made your apologies,” said Malator. “It’s up to her to accept it or not.”

“An apology can’t change what she saw.” I picked up the longest stick I could from my pile and poked it into the flames. “I gave her memories, all right. I’ll bet she’ll remember those.” The heat burned my hand. “You were right, Malator. I shouldn’t have taken her here. I should have listened to you, but I was too damn stubborn. Everything I touch turns to shit.”

“Now you’re feeling sorry for yourself. That won’t help Cricket.”

“I don’t know how to help her! I thought taking her to Akyre would help. I thought making her my squire would. But everything’s just getting worse.” I looked suspiciously at Malator. “Is that what you thought would happen? Did you foresee this?”

Malator grew circumspect. “I did warn you, Lukien.”

“Yes, and that’s all you did,” I said bitterly. “I need to know more, Malator. I need you to be specific!”

“Your decisions are your own, Lukien. Even what little I’ve told you might have been too much! You have a path to follow. But it’s the monster that matters here, Lukien. Remember that.”

Why was everything about the monster? The creature dominated me, not just my thoughts but my actions. Even Diriel wanted it. The monster was the key-but to what? To Cricket? Me?

“I can’t bring it to Diriel,” I whispered. “Even if I could control it. He’d be unstoppable with a creature like that in his army.”

“Your lie bought us time,” said Malator. “We have a week to get Fallon and his men ready.”

“Six days,” I corrected. Just sitting there was wasting time. The fire mesmerized me, bringing back Diriel’s words. “Diriel said his ancestors knew magic. Maybe he knows about the monster. Maybe he thinks he can control it. You said it’s a demon, right? Could the kings of Akyre control demons?”

Malator shrugged. “We’re far from my expertise here, Lukien. Where I come from spirits were part of life. Maybe it’s the same in Akyre.”

“The monster came out of a tomb. Fallon said he woke it.” I laid the puzzle out as best I could. “Is that why it’s after him? It marked him, but he doesn’t seem to know anything about it.”

“Or he’s lying. You know what kind of man he is.”

“I do.” I tossed my stick all the way into the fire and watched the sparks fly. “It galls me to be going back there. To help him, of all people. And what about the creature? If you can’t tell me what it’s after, can you tell me how to stop it?”

“The tomb. Remember? Marilius didn’t want you to see it. If that’s where the creature came from, there’ll be clues.”

I thought about it, liking the idea. “It wouldn’t waste much time,” I agreed. “Just a short detour, less than half a day. We’d have to enter in the daylight, though. I wouldn’t want to face the creature with Cricket there.”

Malator nodded but never got the chance to answer. All the while I thought Cricket had been sleeping. I jumped when she spoke.

“Face the creature?” she said suddenly.

She looked bleary-eyed, half-asleep. She leaned on her palms to keep herself upright.

“We’re just trying to find out what is it,” I told her. “We have to go.”

“Like we had to go to Akyre?”

“It’s all connected, Cricket,” I said. “The monster, Diriel’s legion, even you. I’ll go in the tomb by myself, but I am going. We’ll get you safely to Isowon after that.”

She looked disinterested. She nodded, tried to smile, then closed her eyes and went back to sleep. Maybe she’d been dreaming, just talking in her sleep. I didn’t know, but I remember thinking she wouldn’t be the same any more. As it turned out, I was right.