The God-Stone War

Chapter 30

A hand shaking my shoulder roused me after what felt like only a few minutes. Elise Thornbear, Dorian’s mother, was sitting at the bedside. Her son was sitting in a chair across the room. Other than the two of them, and Moira, who still slept beside me, the room was empty.

“Drink this,” commanded Lady Thornbear, holding a small cup toward me.

I sat up and struggled to collect my wits. The bed was empty on my left-hand side. “Where is Matthew?” I asked.

“He wasn’t poisoned, so I asked Penny to take him out,” she replied, still holding the cup out.

I took it from her at last and smelled it. “What on earth?” I exclaimed, “This smells like some sort of spirits.”

“It isn’t just some ‘sort of spirits’ it’s the purest distilled alcohol I had,” she corrected me.

“And you want me to drink this?” I asked before continuing dryly, “Is my fate so bleak, you’ve decided I’ll be happier drunk before I die?”

She gave me a sour look, while over her shoulder I could see Dorian shrugging helplessly, as if to say he had no idea what her plan was. “Drink that and I’ll answer your question,” Lady Thornbear replied.

I stared at her stoically as I threw the entire cup back, finishing it in one long draught. My manful feat was ruined by the fit of coughing that ensued afterward though. My belly felt as if it had caught fire, and my throat seemed to be attempting to repay me for the insult by choking me to death. “Damn it all!” I gasped at last. “What was that?” It hadn’t been like any alcohol I had ever tasted before.

Elise smiled for the first time since I had awakened. “Next time pay attention. It was pure alcohol, or as close as I could distill it.” She handed me another cup, “Try to get her to drink this.”

I could only assume she meant Moira, but there was no way in hell I would put my daughter through such misery. “She’s only seven!” I protested. “You can’t expect me to give that to a child.”

“Taste it,” replied Dorian’s mother in a voice that indicated I had said something foolish. She never failed to make me feel as though I hadn’t managed to grow up completely. I sniffed the cup before trying a small sip. I found it to be sweet and much more pleasant. It tasted as though she had mixed her spirits with milk and honey.

My first thought however was indignation, “Why did you mix it so sweetly for her yet you forced me to drink liquid fire!?”

Elise Thornbear seemed exasperated. “How long has it been since you were poisoned?” she asked, ignoring my own question.

Of course I had no idea how long I had slept, so I simply stared at her in frustration for a moment before gesturing to Dorian. “Well? You should know better than I do right now. How long?”

My friend looked uncomfortable at my dragging him into the tense discussion with his mother, but after a few anxious seconds he managed to tally up the hours. “I believe it’s about seven or so now, so probably around ten hours,” he answered.

“The poison in your system primarily affects your liver. It has already compromised its functioning, and sometime between twelve and twenty-four hours after ingestion your liver will begin to die. At that point there is nothing anyone can do to save you. If you want your daughter to live, you’ll give her that cup first and we can discuss my reasons afterward,” explained Lady Thornbear.

As Penny will tell you, I am sometimes rather thick, but when it comes to my family, I tend to sort my priorities out quickly. I woke Moira and coaxed her into drinking the sweet mixture. My daughter was none too happy about it though. She still felt nauseous, and the taste of the alcohol in the drink wasn’t pleasant for her.

“Do I have to drink this Daddy?” she said, after finishing the first half.

Stroking her cheek, I smiled at her, “I know it tastes bad, but you have to drink it if you want to feel better.” I continued encouraging her until she managed to finish the entire cup. Once she had finished I turned my attention back to Dorian’s mother, “Now if you wouldn’t mind explaining why I’m trying to force feed a bit of tipple to my daughter. Is it some sort of antidote?”

Lady Thornbear graced me with a smile before answering, “Not exactly. Something in the poison you imbibed affects the liver in a negative and very permanent manner. At some point though, it was discovered that alcohol seems to prevent the damage it does to the liver. It doesn’t negate any of the drug’s other effects though, it simply preserves the liver until your body can eliminate the poison on its own.”

“What about the damage it has already done?” I said anxiously. I was worried more for Moira’s sake than my own. She was only seven. Starting life with a badly damaged liver didn’t seem like a good beginning to me.

“Your power should return once the poison has worked its way out of your system,” said Elise, trying to reassure me.

I shook my head, “That’s not what I mean. What about her liver?”

“It will recover. Of all the organs in your body, the liver is one of the few that can regenerate… given half a chance,” she replied.

A warm feeling washed over me, and my cheeks felt flushed. The potent spirits that Elise had given me were already starting to take effect. “So you really think drinking will keep us alive?” I asked.

“Yes,” she answered. “The theory is that your liver, which normally filters and removes toxins from your blood, damages itself when it tries to break down the active principle in magebane. As you may also know, the liver is primarily involved in destroying alcohol in your body as well. There really isn’t any way for us to be sure, but the most likely possibility is that keeping your liver busy with an overabundance of alcohol, prevents it from damaging itself by interacting with the magebane.”

My thoughts were fuzzy now, but I was still following the conversation easily enough. My early studies in physiology hadn’t been nearly as in depth as whatever Dorian’s mother had learned, but they enabled me to keep up at least. “If the liver filters and removes toxins, and the alcohol prevents it from removing the magebane… how does it work itself out of my system over time?” I asked, somewhat astutely I thought.

Lady Thornbear’s features softened, “You were always bright as a child, Mordecai. The kidneys also remove waste products from the blood. Given enough time, they will remove many things, even if the liver hasn’t done its job on them.”

“Momma says Daddy is the smartest man in Lothion,” piped Moira suddenly. Proof that she paid more attention to adult conversations than I usually credited her with.

I blushed even more, “I really doubt that’s the case, sweetheart.” She never says that in front of me, I noted with an inward smile.

“Your mother is a very sharp woman, dear one,” said Elise, putting a hand on Moira’s cheek. “She had her eye on your father long before he realized it, back when he was just a lad. Now I need you to drink another cup for me. Can you do that?”

Moira made a face but nodded her agreement.

“How much do you intend to give her?” I asked worriedly.

Lady Thornbear frowned. “Too much, I’m afraid. No one is really sure how much is necessary. Given the high stakes, I plan to push the limit. I will have to make sure you are as drunk as you can possibly manage, without endangering your life. The hangover afterward will probably be quite memorable.”

I gulped. “For how long?”

“One day might be enough, but two days to be sure. You will hate me by the time this is over, Mordecai,” she replied as she poured another measure of liquid torture into my cup.

I forced myself to drink the terrible stuff before finally broaching the topic that had been on my mind, “Years ago, Genevieve told me that you learned your herbal lore from your mother, but that isn’t really true is it?”

Elise flinched, almost as if she had been struck, and then her features hardened. “Dorian, take little Moira for a walk for a few minutes.”

He balked at that, “I don’t think she should be walking right now, Mother.”

“Then carry her, dolt! I didn’t mean she should have to walk herself!” snapped his mother suddenly.

Dorian gathered my daughter into his large arms and carried her out. His manner told me that his mother’s words had stung his pride, but he wouldn’t argue with her. Dorian’s father, Gram, had been very strict about obedience and respect in their family.

After he had gone, Elise sighed. “Honestly, he’s just like his father, a good man, but his mind follows a very direct course.” She paused then, as if to see if I would prompt her, but I waited silently for her to begin again. “You are right. While I did learn some rudimentary lessons from my mother she is not the one who taught me most of what I know on the subject.”

I nodded.

Whatever she had to say was obviously painful, that was easy enough to see from her expression as she continued, “When I was fourteen my parents sent me to study at the church in Albamarl. I was born to a low ranking knight in the service of Duke Tremont. I was the youngest of three children and since my father couldn’t afford to provide a good dowry, for me they decided I should seek my vocation in the service of the Lady of the Evening Star.”

“What my parents did not know, but which you have probably realized, through your dealings with Father Tonnsdale, is that the Church of Millicenth specialized in a number of secret and illegal practices. Though at the time I was hardly more than a child, I shudder now to remember some of the shameful things I was taught to do then.”

Father Tonnsdale was the priest of Millicenth who had poisoned my parents and nearly poisoned the Lancaster family years ago, shortly after I had first discovered my abilities. He was also, as she had surmised, the first clue that had led me to wonder about her knowledge of poisons. “It isn’t my place to judge your past, Elise,” I reassured her, “You were always kind to me, almost a second mother, but life has taught me a number of hard lessons as well. I simply want to learn as much as I can.”

Her eyes held mine for a moment, and then she forged ahead, “Initially I was given mostly drudge work, along with the standard classes they put most of the girls in, but as time passed, and my body filled out, I was sent to work in the brothels. My instructors also noticed my excellent memory and aptitude for learning, so I was given more advanced instruction in healing as well as herbal lore.”

The look on my face was probably incredulous, despite my attempts to keep my features smooth. Dorian’s mother was a prostitute!?

Elise looked downward, “There’s no need to make that face, Mordecai. I’m sure you never expected to learn that Gram Thornbear’s widow was a paid pleasure girl, but the facts are rarely what we would wish them to be. At the time, I was not proud of my work, though I did at times take some pleasure in it myself. I will not lie about that. It was distasteful, but it was not entirely as terrible as some may think. I was well-fed, and my treatment as a prostitute was many times better than as a common drudge for the church.”

It was probably a toss-up to decide who was more embarrassed at the revelation of her prior work as a lady of the evening. In fact, looking upon the term, I began to realize that perhaps that was why they were called ‘ladies of the evening’, though I had never realized that the church venerating the ‘Lady of the Evening Star’ had operated brothels. It was yet another glaring reminder that I was more naïve than I thought I was. Marcus would probably laugh to know that I hadn’t been aware of the reason they were called ladies of the evening.

Elise watched my face carefully, “You seem deep in thought. Does it shock you to learn of my shameful past?”

I almost stumbled over my words, as I struggled to correct her misimpression, “No! Uh, well a bit, yes. But truly, my biggest shock was learning that the church dabbled in prostitution.”

“So you’re saying you always expected I had been a wanton?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

“No, of course not!” I said immediately, but I was wise enough to know she was merely teasing me now, probably to ease her own tension at revealing such a shocking secret. I turned the tables on her by responding with complete sincerity, “Elise, I have always held you in high regard. I never knew your past, but the woman that raised Dorian, that loved Gram, and that looked kindly upon me as a common child playing amongst his betters, that woman is still in front of me. Nothing in what you have told me so far has changed that in the slightest.”

Her eyes filled with tears, but just as Rose would have, she looked away to hide her face, “You speak well, Mordecai, but wait until I have finished my tale before you grant me such kindness. Your opinion may change.”

I started to protest, but she held up her hand. “Let me continue,” she said. “In spite of your ignorance, which probably speaks well of you, it is common knowledge that many of the brothels, particularly in Albamarl, are operated by the Church of Millicenth, or rather they were. Your ban upon the churches in the capital has probably had some effect there. I would be surprised if they did not still have some interest in the remaining brothels still operating in the capital.”

“But why?” I interjected, “I gave up my illusions about the righteous nature of the religions of the shining gods years ago, but it seems to me that prostitution runs counter to their ‘public’ image. Why would the church deliberately tarnish its image in such a way?”

“Your illusion was based upon childhood teachings. I assure you, adult society always knew and accepted their other ‘doings’. The brothels were considered, at least publicly, to be a service to the suffering of unmarried or unhappy men. Privately, they were centers for gathering information. The pillow talk collected by the whores in those dens of pleasure was carefully sifted and refined, for use by the church elders. That information was a resource more valuable than gold, and it could be used to control and maneuver, to blackmail and inform.”

“By the time I was sixteen, I was one of the more accomplished and sought after whores in service to the church, but my talents extended far beyond the simple pleasures of the body. It had been determined that I had the wit and talent necessary to be taught additional skills. I was trained in the hidden secrets of the church. They taught me the art of gathering information, the techniques of assassination, and the lore of poisons. The devotees of the Lady had been studying the poisoner’s arts since their inception before the Sundering, and I was perhaps their most able student.”

She had finally reached the heart of what I had suspected, though I still wasn’t comfortable with the way she had said ‘assassination’. “How did…” I said slowly, letting my words trail off.

“How did I wind up with Dorian’s father?” she said with a laugh, “That part is simple enough, I was assigned first to gather information from him, and later I was tasked with his assassination.”

My head was swimming already from the alcohol, so I doubted my ears for a moment, “Wait, what?”

“You heard me,” she said, before repeating herself, “I was tasked with assassinating Gram Thornbear.”

At some point my mouth had fallen open. Once I noticed, I closed it quickly, my teeth clicking audibly.

Elise smiled, “Andrew Tremont, the Duke, wanted a spy in the Lancaster household. He paid the church a large sum to acquire such a person, and since my superiors knew already of Gram’s patronage at the brothel, I was the obvious choice.”

“His patronage?”

“Gram was more worldly than our son. As a young man, he came to the place that I worked, and I caught his eye right away. He had been seeing me regularly for several months before the request came for me to try and use him to the Duke’s advantage,” she explained quietly.

“So they wanted you to shpy on him?” I said, slurring a bit despite myself.

“I had already used him for information. They wanted something more involved. I was supposed to compromise his integrity, force him into situations that would cause him to commit small deceits; things that would seem harmless but which he would know ran counter to his lord’s wishes. In general, the method involves requesting small favors that, over time put him at a serious disadvantage. Eventually, the agent will drop the charade and threaten to expose their target. At that point, the relationship becomes an ugly one of cold blackmail and exploitation, essentially forcing the target into the service of whoever is paying the agent,” she explained.

“Sho how did it go from that to ashashination?” I cringed inwardly at my pronunciation, but I knew there was no hope for it; the alcohol had permeated my brain, and even now I was growing more numb.

She sighed, “The problem arose when he refused my requests. He was infuriatingly unaccommodating when it came to my little ‘favors’. He steadfastly refused to do anything that went against Lancaster’s wishes. The whole thing was exasperating, and was made even more so by the fact that he always brought me flowers.”

“Flowersh?”

“The first time he came to see me, he brought daisies,” she said with a faint smile. “Almost no one brings flowers to a whore, although it isn’t unheard of, but he brought them every time he came. Make no mistake, he knew what his coin was purchasing, and he made good on his claim, but he always behaved as though he were courting me. For a girl who had been raised as gentry, then turned into a prostitute, it was a bittersweet thing. It reminded me of my life before, of my hopes and dreams for a normal life.”

“After a few months, I began to grow angry. I was sure he had played me for a fool. He had to have guessed at my game by then, he had already refused so many of my requests. Yet he continued to bring flowers; wildflowers, lilacs, gardenias, roses, whatever he could find, whatever was in season. Even worse, he paid double whatever I asked, always saying, ‘this is for you, and this is for whoever claims your fee later’. He knew they took most of what we earned, so he paid twice, so I could keep it and give the mistress her share as well. I couldn’t understand him, or what his motivations were, and it drove me mad.”

As she spoke, I could almost see Dorian doing something similar, if he had ever been so bold as to frequent such a place. Clearly his father had been a hopeless romantic as well, though he had obviously been very earthly in his desires.

Lady Thornbear went on, “My masters were growing impatient with my lack of progress, so at last I decided to try something more direct. During his next visit I admitted my duplicity and threatened to reveal his secret visits to the brothel. While that wouldn’t have been much of a scandal, I had convinced myself that his rigorous sense of honor must be based on pride, a pride that would not bear to see itself shamed. I was sure that rather than taint his name even slightly, he would turn traitor.”

I laughed, “You really didn’t undershtand him at all did you?”

She shook her head ruefully, “No, I did not. You must understand, at that time my own soul had been so blackened by my circumstances and my actions that I truly could not believe anyone would act unselfishly. The shadow in my heart had convinced me that his honor was just a sham, something one puts on like a coat when you go outdoors.”

“What happened?”

“He laughed at me. ‘Go ahead and tell people whatever you want,’ he told me. He was not at all worried about the ‘appearance’ of honor, just the substance of it, and he knew he had not failed in that. He even bragged that once people had seen me, they would understand his reasons for visiting me so frequently. It didn’t embarrass him in the least.”

Elise frowned, “His flippant attitude made me furious, and I threw him out. Afterward I reported what had happened, and my superiors decided it would be best to eliminate him. They were worried that if he repeated what I had told him, that someone might guess at my ultimate employer. There was already considerable tension between Lancaster and Tremont, and it would have cast a dishonorable shadow across Tremont, although it would have been impossible to prove anything.”

“He returned a week later, and I received him in a far different manner than I had the time before. The poison I had prepared days before; a slow acting poison much like the one I gave you when Dorian was abducted. I slipped it into his cup so skillfully he never had a chance, but then…,” her voice trailed away for a moment.

Her story had created such a dramatic tension I became agitated, “Then what?!”

Lady Thornbear’s cheek had a fine track of tears on it now, “It was his smile I think, that undid me… or perhaps it was his trusting eyes. As he lifted the cup to his lips, they pierced my heart, and I couldn’t bear to watch him drink it. I caught his hand and confessed what I had done. I still didn’t realize my own true feelings. I just couldn’t let him come to harm. When he didn’t become angry with me for what I had done, I became angry with him instead. I had already told him to leave for his own sake, but he wouldn’t listen. He was ever so stubborn.”

“When I asked him why, he said something I have never forgotten. He had always been unfailingly polite, but that day his patience had finally grown thin. ‘Elise, you are the dumbest woman I have ever known, for you do not know your own heart. You claim the world is full of darkness, and that everyone acts only for their own gain, yet you ignore the evidence of your own heart. You love me as keenly as any woman ever loved a man, and I have loved you since the first day I came here. In this chest of mine beats two hearts, yours and mine both. That’s why you couldn’t let me drink that cup. Deep down you knew that the poison would kill us both.’”

“At that I became even angrier,” continued Lady Thornbear. “I called him a fool for loving a whore that would never return his affection. I mocked his feelings and made light of the flowers he had brought. I said every wicked thing I could think of to drive him away, and all the while my heart cried within,” she paused for a second and stared into my eyes. “Do you know what he did then?!”

I shook my head in a vigorous ‘no’, making the room spin around me.

“He picked the cup back up, and in the space of a heartbeat, he gulped the contents down, saying, ‘If what you say is true, then this world is no place for me, and I will not live in it.’ That was when my heart finally broke, and everything turned upside down. I knew then that he was not merely pretending to be an honorable man, rather he was exactly what he had presented himself as, an honorable man, too stubborn and half-witted to survive in the cruel world we existed within.” Lady Thornbear stopped then and dabbed at her eyes with her sleeve.

For my part, I was already crying and too drunk to care. “That shounds jusht like him!” I exclaimed, in a voice now thick with both tears and drink. She still didn’t continue immediately, waiting instead for me to recover my own equilibrium.

Once both our eyes were dry, she resumed her story, “After that, he refused my aid until I confessed my love to him, which I did, crying and babbling in a way that I had thought forgotten with my childhood. That was the day I rediscovered my heart. It was the first and greatest gift that he ever gave me.”

“What happened then?” I asked blearily.

“I put my fingers down his throat until he had vomited up everything in that bottomless pit he used for a stomach,” she said bluntly. “Then he took me away. There was no discussion, he told me to gather my things, and that was that. While I did, he went downstairs and arranged to purchase my contract from the mistress of the house. I didn’t get to see that conversation, but I discovered later that she did not react kindly to his offer. It was only after he threatened to kill her and burn the entire establishment to the ground that she reconsidered.”

That surprised me a bit. “They jusht let you go… ash easy ash that?”

“Officially, yes, she signed away their rights to me and I was free to go. In reality though, it was never that simple. Because of my knowledge and training, the church could never release me, and because of the circumstances, I had the potential to create a terrible political problem for two of the most powerful houses in the land, as well as the church itself,” she said with a sigh, “But Gram would listen to none of it. He asked for my hand, and I agreed to his proposal. I determined that if he would not listen to sense then we would be happy for as long as we could, until they ‘removed’ the problem.”

The further her tale went, the more amazed I was at the complexity and tragedy of her life. My old notions of Dorian’s mother were completely incompatible with the scarred, flawed, strong, and beautiful woman I was learning about now. At the same time, I was a little sad that he had never been given the chance to hear this story as well. If anyone deserved to know, it was him.

“You were waiting for their assassins to kill you?” I asked, to clarify her statement.

“Both of us,” she corrected. “They could not afford to leave either of us alive. I waited, fearful of every shadow until Father Tonnsdale arrived and took the position at Cameron Castle. He soon visited the Lancasters, and I knew that he would seek me out. When he did, he surprised me with an offer that allowed everyone to have what they wanted most.”

I felt an inner tension building when she mentioned the name of the priest that had poisoned my parents. Her posture had changed subtly too, stiffening as if she were remembering something unpleasant. “And that was…?”

“I remained in the service of the church, acting as a spy and an informant for them from within the Lancaster household. In return, I and my husband were allowed to live peacefully, free from interference or threat. The church really didn’t want to kill us both, for it would have created other problems for them. They knew that Duke Lancaster would blame them, and the political cost might have been severe,” she explained.

I was shocked, “You betrayed them?”

Elise Thornbear frowned sharply at me, “Watch your tongue, Mordecai. I have committed many sins, and you may well hate me for some of them, but my story is not done yet. When I have finished, you may decide whether to brand me a traitor or not.”

“I’m shorry,” I said quickly. It was already apparent that the strong drink had gone to my head and my emotions were shifting rapidly from one extreme to another.

“Don’t be too quick to apologize either,” she added sadly. “Just wait until I am done. After the priest and I made our arrangement, I went to Gram and confessed to him. I expected him to punish me, or have me put aside, but instead he took me before his lord, James, the Duke of Lancaster. He explained what I had told him, and together they hatched a plot to use me to Lancaster’s advantage. Well, I say ‘they’, but in reality it was James’ idea,” she stopped and looked directly at me. “When you decided to play kingmaker you made a good choice in him. If there was any man in this kingdom able to step into Edward Carenval’s shoes and hold our country together, it was him.”

“In any case, I digress,” she said, before returning to her story. “From that point on, my life changed dramatically. I was free from fear, and the shadow of the church hanging over me, no longer seemed so dreadful. I sent occasional reports to Father Tonnsdale regarding the doings at Lancaster Castle, after letting Genevieve review them first. She would discuss them with her husband, and if they felt anything shouldn’t be told, I would remove it from my report, or alter it to suit them. Ironically, it was this interaction that initially drew her and me together as fast friends over the years.”

“I was also called upon occasionally to share my knowledge of poisons. I did this in various ways, mostly benign. I helped heal the sick and treat the wounded on occasion at Lancaster. I also shared my knowledge with Father Tonnsdale. His interest seemed primarily to be about healing herbs, but I was also asked to teach him the recipes for several of the church’s more deadly poisons. This didn’t concern me overmuch at the time, and Genevieve felt that if I refused to share the knowledge with him, it might send a signal to the church authorities that I was no longer a loyal servant. In any case, he would have been able to learn the information he sought from other sources within the church headquarters at Albamarl. I was merely much more accessible.” Lady Thornbear stopped and looked down.

My mind had gone numb. She taught Father Tonnsdale. My tongue seemed to cleave to the roof of my mouth, while I struggled to formulate the question in my heart; but I already knew the answer. Elise looked up and our eyes met, and in them I could see her guilt, her sorrow, and her final shame.

“Yes, Mordecai,” she said simply, to answer my unspoken question. “I taught him the poison he used to kill everyone at Castle Cameron, the same poison he tried to use against the Lancasters. Penny did the world a great favor when she stove in that evil man’s skull.”

Even in the midst of my emotional shock, I was surprised at that revelation. As far as I knew, no one beyond Penny and myself knew she had murdered the priest. My eyebrows went up for a moment, “You knew aboutsh that?”

She nodded, “Genevieve figured it out quickly enough. She also hid the knowledge that she had seen Penny that day.”

Somehow I managed to focus my sluggish thoughts. I had already suffered a series of shocks during her story, but there was one matter that cried for my attention, one thing that I needed to know. “You had to know he was the poisoner,” I said, referring to Father Tonnsdale, “Why didn’t you reveal his crime?”

“I have only excuses, Mordecai, and none of them are sufficient to expunge my guilt. None of them will bring your parents back,” answered Elise Thornbear. “It had been years since I taught him the recipe. I was pregnant and almost ready to deliver Dorian at the time of the fire, and I wasn’t able to examine the bodies of the dead, so I couldn’t be sure at first what poison had killed them. Naturally I did suspect Father Tonnsdale, but I had no certain proof. I shared my thoughts with Genevieve, and they had him watched, but nothing incriminating was ever discovered. In the end, I did nothing to avenge them, and I was helpless to prove his guilt.”

A fire was building in my gut, a ball of futile anger, but I had no good place to direct it. Could I really blame this woman before me, my best friend’s mother? For most of my life I had loved her as a kindly authority figure and sometimes as a surrogate for my own mother. Even through my drunken haze, I felt my jaw clenching.

Elise watched me carefully before adding, “It does nothing to assuage my guilt in the tragedy of your early life, but I knew who you were long ago, even before you and Dorian became friends. When your father came to the castle, the news moved quickly, Royce Eldridge had gained a son. He never shared the story of how he found you, but Genevieve told me of her letter from your dying mother, and I knew it had to be you. I did my best to see to it that the timing and circumstances of your arrival at the Eldridge household never reached Tonnsdale, or the ears of the church.”

“You’re right,” I said hoarsely, “It does nothing to assuage your guilt, but…” My bitterness was evident in my voice, and despite the alcohol my anger gave clarity to my words. “… what’s done is done and I cannot blame you for the doings of that evil man. Tonnsdale was damned for his own actions.” I paused for a moment, swallowing to clear the knot that had formed in my throat. “There is one thing that you are entirely wrong about,” I told her.

Elise Thornbear’s eyes were red and swollen with tears now, “What?”

I was tired now and my voice began to slur again. “I don’t care if you ever share the story of Tonnsdale and the poishon. That ish a matter that lies purely between us now, and I forgive you of it, but your son deserves to hear the tale of how hish father and mother met. You do him an injustice to keep such a shecret from him,” I informed her bluntly.

“You know how my son is; he walks a straight and narrow path, with no room for bending. How can I shame him with the knowledge that his mother was a whore? I think it better to leave him with a past he can be proud of than to tell him the truth,” she argued.

I shook my head, sending the room into another dizzy spin. “You are wrong there. You shon is very much like hish father. Gram Thornbear saw the truth of your heart, deshpite your self deception. He knew your worth, even before you did. You shon will not be deluded by the circumshtances of your past, and he will love you even more for knowing the truth.”

Laying back into the pillows, I determined to let sleep have its way with me. I had had enough shocks for one day. The world swam gently behind my eyelids, and as I drifted into a drunken slumber I could hear Lady Thornbear’s quiet sobs.