The Greatest Evil

27

It did not take long for Merl Goldbaum’s prediction to become fact.

It was a slower than usual news day. The city desk was floating in a sea of lazy tranquility. Things did seem to be moving right along. But, as W.S. Gilbert once wrote, “Things are seldom what they seem.”

In late morning, the city editor beckoned to one of his reporters who was not in the running for an Oscar for his portrayal of a busy newsman.

“There’s a pro-choice rally at Cobo Hall this weekend. We’ve got that covered, but we need some sidebars. Go dig up some abortion clients and get their comments on how they were treated-their reaction to the whole thing. Be sure to get the date of the procedure so we can do a graph on whether things are getting better or worse.” Such a setup was hardly a scientific approach-but, what the hell …

“You want me to do a customer survey on abortion clinics?” The reporter tried to make the assignment sound ridiculous: He didn’t want to do the story.

“Yeah.”

“Where am I supposed to find these broads … at least the ones who’ll talk for the record?”

“That’s why we pay you such a lavish salary: so you can put together simple stories like this.” The reporter was dismissed with a get outta-here gesture.

How the hell was he supposed to find somebody who used an abortion clin-Wait: His wife’s friend had a cleaning woman who’d had an abortion …

A few phone calls nailed it down. He would interview Loretta.

“So what was the worst part of the procedure?”

“There wasn’t no wors’ part. They treated me good. Course, I was only six weeks along.”

“Okay …” That sort of quote would not interest the reader or, more important, please the editor. “What was the best part of the procedure?”

Loretta brightened. “Oh, the doctor. She was so nice. She stayed with me all the way through. She kept telling me what was gonna happen and that I wasn’t gonna suffer none. And I didn’t!” she finished triumphantly.

“What was this doctor’s name?”

“It was Dr. Delvecchio. Bless her.”

Delvecchio … Delvecchio. Why was that name familiar? There was a Delvecchio way back in the original six-team pro hockey league. For Detroit. For the Red Wings. In the Detroit Red Wings’ dynasty years. Gordie Howe, Ted Lindsay, Sid Abel, and Alex Delvecchio. Could this doctor possibly be a relative of Alex?

Wait … there was another Delvecchio who was famous for something or other. Yeah, a football player. A pro. Some years back. Let’s see … he had a brother, didn’t he? A Father-no, a monsignor. A Catholic priest whose brother was a pro football player.

And they had … a sister … yeah, a sister who was … a doctor! A Catholic priest and his sister the abortion doctor-oh, please, God, make Dr. Delvecchio be the sister of Monsignor Delvecchio!

His prayer, of course, had been answered retroactively.

Then, the good times rolled.

The editor was ecstatic. Forget the pro-choice rally. Forget Russia and nuclear bombs. Go get the priest and his sister.

The archdiocesan director of communications held news conferences. The archbishop referred questions to the director of communications. Monsignor Delvecchio returned barely two of every ten calls. Lucy Delvecchio used the language of her conversation with Koesler to respond to questions. Monsignor Delvecchio, putting two and two together, guessed that Lucy had spoken to Father Koesler. Delvecchio promised himself that he would even that score one day.

Meanwhile, PR expert Merl Goldbaum sat back, read the papers, watched TV, listened to the radio, and shook his head. He should’ve taken the lead-cut them off at the pass.

The story played itself out over a five-day period. But the media made the most of it while it lasted.

The Present

“That’s why I have a hard time imagining that you didn’t hear about this at the time,” Father Koesler said.

Father Tully shook his head. “It does sort of ring a bell now that you mention it. But if I heard about it at all, I probably passed it off with something approaching relief-sort of, There but for the grace of God go I.”

“Well, it was no picnic for the brass of this archdiocese. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if that ‘scandal,’ if I may call it that, might have further delayed Delvecchio’s promotion to bishop. And it could be what’s keeping him from becoming an Ordinary.”

Tully, having called the shot, sank the eight ball. He won. “Another game?”

“Why not?”

Tully racked the balls and motioned Koesler in for the break. Once more, balls were spread all over the table, but nothing fell.

Tully sank a solid and another game was under way.

“I’m in the same position as that reporter who broke the story about the monsignor and the abortion doctor,” Tully said. “I know Delvecchio has a brother. I remember Tony as a player-but he’s more familiar as a sports commentator. But I didn’t know about his sister. What’s happened to her?”

“Oh, she’s still in town. Still working in the ER at Receiving Hospital.”

“How about the clinic?”

“She had to give that up. Before the story broke, no one paid much attention to the little building. It helped the anonymity of the place that it was located in a nondescript neighborhood near downtown.

“But after the news got out, a whole team of protesters and pickets descended on the clinic. It wasn’t safe for Lucy to go down there.

“But Lucy and I are still friends. Maybe sometime we can have lunch,” Koesler suggested, “just the three of us.”

“That would be nice.” Tully chalked his cue. “We could have it here at St. Joe’s … that is, if I can get by her brother and take over this parish officially.”

“Oh, I’m sure you will.”

Actually, after dissecting Vince’s personality and MO this evening, Koesler was not all that sure of a happy outcome.

Tully, on a run, was now studying his shots more carefully. “I was wondering”-he straightened up-“as you were telling that story: Do you think Delvecchio knew his sister had talked to you?”

“I don’t know. Not for sure. He’s never brought it up. And there have been occasions when he could have. But he’s never mentioned it.”

“You’d think he’d have tumbled to it. I mean, you’ve been so close to that family; it would have been natural for her to turn to you.”

“I guess.”

Tully laughed. “Maybe he’s taking it out on me instead of you.”

Koesler did not laugh. On the contrary, he grew more thoughtful.

“That,” Tully continued, “leaves only Delvecchio’s brother to be accounted for.”

“And his aunt Martha.”

“Oh, yeah, the aunt. But the brother … that relationship fascinates me. I mean, I get the impression that they were never very close … were they?”

“Not to my knowledge. But compared with the space between them now, they could have been the best of buddies as kids.”

“Deteriorated, has it?”

“Disintegrated,” Koesler said emphatically. “It’s really a shame what’s happened between those two. And it’s almost totally Vince’s fault.”

“Really?” It was Tully’s turn to shoot. Instead, he sat on the arm of one of the chairs. Evidently, he would rather hear the story of the brothers Delvecchio than shoot pool.

Koesler laid down his cue. But instead of being seated, he began to pace. “We’ve already talked about Tony’s big plans. A pro football player, retiring from that into broadcasting.

“Then came reality. No team took him in 1959. So he followed the example of a few other players and joined the Canadian Football League. He was sensational in his first year. His performance grabbed the interest of the NFL. He went to the Chicago Bears. He and another quarterback alternated, and while Tony didn’t set any records, he held up his end.

“Eventually, he was traded to Detroit, where in his waning years he was the backup quarterback.

“With the Lions, the big thing was he was the hometown kid come home. He was a native Detroiter and the fans loved him for it.

“By the time Tony retired from the field, the number of teams had mushroomed: Television was using more and more former players for either play-by-play or as color announcers. That’s when Tony got his big chance. First the networks and then the sponsors discovered how articulate and funny he could be. One thing led to another and Tony also became a high-priced pitchman for a whole bunch of products advertised on TV.

“It was as if Tony’s ship had come in: Everything seemed to be going his way.”

“Sounds good to me,” Tully said.

“Yeah, it does. But when it came to Vince and Tony, fate played some funny tricks. This, I think, was the most tragic relationship of them all.”

“I remember Tony’s playing days,” Tully said. “And I see him on TV during the season, but I don’t really know anything else about him. You mentioned a young woman-when he was about to graduate from college. Did they marry?”

Koesler almost winced. “No. And that’s what gave Vinnie his opening.”

1985

“’Samatter, babe?”

Beth Larson looked about her. “What could possibly be wrong surrounded by the ambience of the Lindell A.C., with Wayne Walker’s jockstrap on. the wall?”

“It’s bronzed.”

“Oh, that makes it all the more aesthetic.”

“C’mon now,” Tony Delvecchio pleaded. “Don’t go and ruin my night.”

Tony and Beth were seated at a table in the Lindell A.C., downtown Detroit’s quintessential jock beefeatery and watering hole-one of whose claims to fame was the now bronzed athletic supporter presented by Detroit Lions linebacker Wayne Walker upon his retirement from football.

Tonight there was another celebration. Tony Delvecchio’s jersey, “Old Number 28,” was going to be hung in the bar. Tony would never be elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Nor would his number be retired by either the Bears or the Lions. But, for a time at least, it would be on exhibit in the Lindell A.C.

This was Tony’s crowd. Probably there was little reason for anyone to patronize the Lindell A.C. if one were not wildly in love with sports. It served its clientele well.

It held little attraction for Beth. She was here solely for Tony’s sake and the honor being paid him.

The presentation had been made minutes ago. Things were returning to normal: arguments over statistics, bets on sports trivia, recollections of yesteryear’s heroics.

“Can’t we go yet?” Clearly, Beth was bored.

“In a little bit.” Tony’s brow knitted. “I’d think this place was beginning to reach you except that you’ve been like this for … what? — three, four weeks? What’s the problem?”

She picked up the sweating glass that held her gin and tonic and began making wet circles on the table. “You know the punchline, ‘It’s the whole damn thing’?”

“Yeah …?”

“Well, that’s what’s wrong: the whole damn thing.”

“That doesn’t give me much to go on.”

She put the glass down and caught his eyes in her gaze. “We’ve been together for twenty-six, years. Over a quarter of a century. And aside from setting some sort of record for living together without benefit of clergy, what have we got to show for it?”

“Lotsa good times. Lotsa good memories. And …” He shook his head. “… some that weren’t so good.”

“Couldn’t just about anybody say that?”

“So what’s so bad about it?”

“Tony, we should be grandparents by now. And we’ve never even had a kid. We could’ve had some really close friends. Where are they?”

“What do you call the people we chum around with? How ’bout”-his gaze swept around the room, then back to her-“the folks here tonight?”

“Jocks … and jocks’ wives. Look at the configuration: We’re the only couple sitting together. The men are hanging around the bar. The women are off by themselves. I know this happens at most gatherings, but at the parties we give-and go to-the separation of the sexes happens immediately-almost the minute they walk in. I know you know that there’s a world out there. But the rest of these guys-their world stops at the locker room door.”

“Honey, I’m a jock! It’s just natural that we hang together. But it doesn’t have to be like this. If you want to, we can pal around with some of the folks from your law firm … although,” he joked, “I got the impression you see enough of them during the week.” He realized she wasn’t sharing the joke. “Look, hon, at this stage in our lives, we can be with anyone we want. I’m just not at all sure a lot of the people in our tax bracket would be all that interesting.”

“That’s not it!” Her voice took on a tone of annoyance. “It’s …”

“I know: the whole damn thing. Well,” he said, after a moment, “there must be something we can do to get things off Square One.”

She toyed with her glass again. “Well, I have been thinking of something …”

“What?” Tell-me-what-it-is-and-I’ll-get-it-for-you, his tone said.

“Religion.”

He laughed so heartily that the level of conversational noise in the bar dropped abruptly. When the others noted that Beth was not laughing, but rather was flushed, they returned to their chatter. But not as loudly as before.

“What field did that come out of?”

“I’ve been thinking about your heritage. All your people are-were-Catholic. You attended parochial school. Your sister goes to Mass. My God, your brother’s just been made a bishop. But you haven’t gone to church since your mother’s funeral. Why?”

“Hypocrites.”

“Hypocrites? I beg your pardon?”

“The once-a-week churchgoers. They stab everyone in the back, pull the carpet out from under everyone. Lie, cheat, steal. Then they get pious on Sunday. They think that makes them holy … that it makes the lousy tricks they pulled between church visits okay. And Catholics are maybe the worst. I don’t know why … maybe ’cause they’ve got confession to really clean things up.”

“You’re talking ’they’ and ’them.’ You’re not a Catholic anymore?”

He slid down in his chair. “Once a Catholic, always a Catholic-that’s what the nuns and priests drummed into our little heads. And”-he pushed himself upright again-“I wouldn’t argue: I’m a Catholic, I guess. But I’d hardly say I was practicing it.”

“Would you object to my looking into it?”

“What? Catholicism? If it’ll make you happy-whatever you want, babe. How’re you gonna do this?”

“I thought I’d get in touch with our pastor.”

“‘Our’ pastor! We got a pastor?”

“I’ve done a little investigating.”

“Oh, so this bit about religion didn’t come right off the top of your pretty head!”

She ignored his gibe. “We live in St. Waldo of the Hills parish … that is, we live within its boundaries.”

“And our pastor?”

“You aren’t going to believe this …”

“I won’t believe it? Then I’d guess it would be my old buddy Father Koesler.”

“Close. But much closer than that.”

He looked at her expectantly.

“Our pastor is Bishop Delvecchio.” Disregarding his startled expression, she went on. “I think it says a lot about your interest in your faith that you don’t even know where your brother went after he became a bishop.”

“This is spooky.” Clearly, Tony was impressed.

“I thought so too. But spooky or not, what do you think?”

“There’s something about this that rings all the wrong bells.”

“I really feel strongly about it, Tony.”

She was drumming her fingers on the tabletop-always a sign that she was about to become emotional. Her emotional outbursts confused him. He had never learned how to deal with them.

“Well,” he said at length, “I guess it couldn’t hurt to look into it.”

She brightened. “Great! I really think this will do wonders for us. I feel I want to get involved in a church group. We need more meaning in our lives.”

“Yeah. Sure.”

It was ten days since Tony’s jersey had been hung in the Lindell A.C. Not another word about this religion business had been uttered.

Tony was quite satisfied with the status quo. He did not need another word. Beth had another word, but was waiting for the appropriate time.

Dinner tonight featured lamb chops, Tony’s favorite.

It was coffee and dessert time.

Now.

“Honey, I saw your brother, the bishop, the other day.” Actually, she had made an appointment and called on him the day after their talk at the A.C.

Tony’s brow knitted. “If you saw Vinnie, ‘the other day’ and you’ve waited this long to tell me about it, the news can’t be all that good.”

“It’s good news and bad news.”

“And you’re going to start with the good news, like you always do.”

She smiled. “I can respect the bishop. I think I can trust him too. And it looks like this religious experience is what I’ve been looking for.”

He toyed nervously with his spoon. His coffee sat half drunk, his dessert half eaten. “Seeing that all the good news happened to you, I’d guess the bad news is mine.”

She began drumming on the tabletop. “Well, what the bishop said about us seemed to make a lot of sense-”

“How come you keep addressing him as ‘bishop’?”

“That’s what I started out calling him, and he never suggested that I use any other title or name.”

“Okay, so what about us?”

“The bishop said that we couldn’t overlook the obvious: We’ve never been married.”

“I’m not Frank Gifford and you’re not Kathy Lee. Our private lives are private. Did you volunteer our marital status?”

“The bishop asked if we had been married in a civil or a religious ceremony. I told him neither.”

“Okay. So then?” Tony was picking up threatening vibes.

“The bishop said he didn’t think he was anticipating anything that wouldn’t be covered later in the instructions, but the fact that we never married in any legal manner meant we were living in sin.”

Tony’s furrows grew deeper.

“The bishop said it didn’t make any sense that I would be taking instructions-and thus agreeing that you and I are living in sin-without doing something about our situation.”

“Oh? What’s he want us to do: Get a divorce when we’ve never been married?”

“This is the tough part, Tony. Please … just remember how much I want to at least find out about this. And the bishop is trying to make this Church rule as easy on us as he can-”

“I can hardly wait to find out what comes next.”

Beth swallowed what seemed to be an indigestible plea. “The bishop wants us to promise not to have intercourse during the time I’m taking the instructions.” She figuratively ducked.

The fork Tony had been handling bent in half.

“Now, please, wait a minute, honey,” she pleaded. “They have a regular convert class that runs all through Lent and ends at Easter. The bishop offered to give me private instructions. He said he’ll do it himself because you’re special to him.”

Tony snorted.

“The bishop promised he would hurry things along. Your agreement-consent-is all that stands between me and my finding out if this is what I’m looking for.”

Silence.

“How long for the instructions?” Tony asked finally.

“Three, four months at the most.”

“Brother and sister …” Tony almost laughed.

“What?”

“That’s at least what they used to call this crazy arrangement: brother-and-sister relationship. That’s what Aunt Martha and Uncle Frank had to promise while the Church fooled around with their lives.”

“Frank? Your uncle who committed suicide?”

Tony nodded:

She was silent for several moments. “Four months at the maximum,” she said finally. “… maybe it’ll be more like three.”

Tony moved his chair and leaned forward so his face was inches from hers. She had tears in her eyes that refused to run down her cheeks.

“Sweetheart, I don’t know what all professional jocks did about sex. But there was a lot of pressure … and a lot of opportunity. We were on the road so much! And there were groupies and desirable women in every city … at every stop. Having sex for a jock was the easiest thing in the world.

“But I can tell you straight to your face: I never fell. I never cheated on you. Part of that was because I respect you so much. And part was because you are always here for me. You seem to enjoy sex as much as I do.”

She nodded vigorously.

“And we’ve just never had a problem with that. For that, I’m grateful … and I guess you are too.

“But I’ve got to tell you at the outset that I don’t know if I can make it that long.”

She was certain this abstinence would hurt her as much as it would him. But it was she who had the motivation. The carrot at the end of the stick was for the lady.

“Honey …”-she laid her hand on his arm-“I’m sure the bishop meant that we should give this arrangement our best effort. I’m sure the Church allows for a slip …”

“And,” he replied, “I’m sure your friend the bishop doesn’t have room in his meticulous life for messups.”

Tony thought for a few moments. “Okay,” he said finally. “Okay, I’ll agree for one reason and one reason only: because you want so badly to give Catholicism a try. But I warn you: When I agree to a contract, I intend to keep it.”

Ignoring her grateful expression, he asked, “So, now what? Is there some sort of form I’ve got to sign?”

She smiled. “The bishop trusts me. He said if I showed up for instructions it would mean that you had agreed to those conditions.”

He smiled mirthlessly. “So, big brother trusts me. There’s a switch!”

“What is there between you two? Is it because you went into athletics and he went into religion? You yourself told me he was brilliant-I think you said he was a genius … is that it?”

“It’s the whole damn thing.”

They both smiled.

“There have been studies,” Tony said reflectively, “of siblings who don’t get along. That was Vinnie and me. He set the scene in school by achieving-setting standards I could only approach, but never equal-well, at least not often. We competed constantly-in school and out. The only thing I could beat him at consistently was sports.

“It didn’t help our relationship that he was the one who was fulfilling Mama’s dearest wish: that one of her sons would become a priest. I think, at the end, she knew he would be a bishop some day …

“And then, when she was dying …” He seemed to look into the distance, then shook himself, as if throwing off the past. “Just remember as we go through this, hon, I said old Vinnie was brilliant; I didn’t say he was human.”

Starting that evening, Tony slept in the guest room. He did not reflect that his uncle Frank had followed the same course many years before.