The Hanging Girl

26

Monday, March 17th, 2014

Nothing happened for a long time. Pirjo kept to herself, regularly changing the frequency of her conscious energy with the help of the nature absorption methods, all the while keeping her body healthy to ensure optimal conditions for the new little person growing inside her. She took part in their communal assemblies inside and sun assemblies down on the beach, just as she normally did. She kept herself busy with her work and other administrative tasks. Made sure the upkeep of the building was taken care of, and that new guests settled in quickly. She wanted to be pregnant again later, and Atu shouldn’t have any grounds for thinking that it affected her daily activities.

New Year’s Eve had started as it usually did, under the open sky with Atu’s praise of the year’s cycle. They assembled in a ring around the fire on the beach, each person expressing in their own way a great sense of community in a common knowledge that life constantly offered new chapters. The coming year should be the one from which all their future deeds should emanate.

Pirjo nodded gently to herself with the realization that nothing in her situation could be truer, and that from now on she didn’t need to be alone in that knowledge. So when the round dance was finished, and each person was heading to their room for the first quiet meditation of the New Year, Pirjo grabbed Atu’s hand and thanked him for the person he was, and the person he’d soon be.

Then she led his hand down toward her abdomen and explained the situation to him straight out.

From that moment when his face began to glow, Pirjo felt that nothing in the world could threaten her newly won harmony and happiness.

The situation continued for her in this way for two and a half months, and then this inner balance was destroyed.

It was a Monday and Pirjo had had many calls on the Light of the Oracle telephone line. Yet another few thousand kroner had made its way into the account.

She’d looked at the clock and was talking with the last client of the day.

“I can sense by the color of your voice and what you’re telling me that you are an important force for change in the world,” she had said for at least the tenth time today. “It seems as if there are extraordinary development perspectives for your personality. I’m actually feeling right now that a uniquely special personality like yours would obtain lifelong benefits from me referring you to the Holistic Chain. From here it will be possible to establish all your options and also show you the path to achieve the mental strength and stability required to ensure you get the full benefit of your obvious talents.”

They were the sort of declarations people wanted to hear. And when you first reached that point, they were insatiable, and that meant time, which in turn meant money rolling in.

Pirjo had enjoyed it. On an average day, her oratory skills were limited mostly to practical information and a bit of haggling with the local suppliers, but she was in her element here.

“You ask which of your future perspectives I would accentuate, but it isn’t such a straightforward question. If you look . . .”

At that moment a recognizable silhouette appeared over Pirjo’s desk. Shirley’s outline was absolutely unique among all the ascetic disciples, so Pirjo turned around to face her with one of her usual subdued smiles, despite the fact that Shirley had once again chosen to ignore the Do Not Disturb sign. This was the tone she’d chosen to adopt with this woman for the past few months now. The less contact there was between them, the less chance there was of questions being asked.

But this time, Pirjo’s smile wasn’t reciprocated.

“There’s something I don’t understand, Pirjo,” Shirley said in a more subdued manner than usual.

Pirjo raised her hand to signal that she’d have to wait a moment, and finished her conversation with an apology and a promise that she’d like to present all the wonderful things they had spoken about to the person in charge at the Holistic Chain. That way, they would be able to pick things up from there when she called on Wednesday. She then wished the woman good luck and turned toward Shirley.

“What don’t you understand, Shirley?”

“This.” She held out something dark in one hand, passing it to Pirjo.

It was a belt with diagonal stripes in red and grey.

“A belt, okay?” said Pirjo, taking it as if it were a rattlesnake ready to strike. “What about it?” she heard herself ask while all her senses revolved around trying to maintain her mental balance while also trying to work out what could’ve happened.

She’d emptied the box of all Wanda Phinn’s belongings only a week after the murder, and then burned them. Could she have overlooked the belt? Could she have?

“What is it with this belt, Shirley? Is it yours? Maybe you think you’ve grown fatter or thinner than you anticipated?” she said, her own voice sounding somewhere far off.

Was it the same belt? She couldn’t remember it. Maybe she hadn’t even really noticed it.

“No, it isn’t mine, but I know this belt,” said Shirley.

Could the belt have fallen down to the bottom of the removal box? But what business did Shirley have up in the highest loft space in the Stable of Senses? It didn’t make any sense.

She was thinking so much that it hurt. She had burned a belt. Hadn’t there been a buckle in the ash when she threw it out in the sea? Or had there?

“You say you know the belt? Is it a special brand, perhaps?” Pirjo turned it over a few times, shaking her head at the same time. “It doesn’t ring a bell with me. Not other than that it’s a pretty belt.”

“Yes, I know it,” said Shirley. She seemed genuinely shaken. “I bought that belt, but not for myself. It was a birthday present for my best friend, just before she left London. The one you all say has never been here. Wanda Phinn, don’t you remember, I asked about her when I arrived?”

Pirjo nodded. “Not quite the name, but yes, you mentioned a friend that you thought was over here. But belts look alike, Shirley, don’t they?” She smiled as best she could. “Well, I don’t know so much about clothes, I mean it’s not so often we wear . . . you know.” She let a hand slide down over her modest robe.

Shirley pulled the belt back. “It was very expensive, not something I can normally afford. I’d never buy it for myself, but I really wanted to give it to Wanda, and I managed to get it a bit cheaper because of this.” She pointed to a long and very superficial scratch on the belt.

Pirjo shook her head. “I don’t understand how it got here. Where did you get it?”

“From Jeanette.”

“Jeanette?” Pirjo could sense now that desperation was setting in. She had to pull herself together. Not one evasive glance, not one unintentional look must give her away. “But, Shirley, she isn’t here. Jeanette left this morning. Her sister is very sick, you know. That’s why she’s left us, to look after her. I don’t actually think Jeanette will be coming back.”

“She told me that, I know. And she collected her old clothes from a removal box up in the loft, just where she’d left them three years ago. But she noticed that her belt was missing and that this was in the box instead. So she took it. I helped her to pack and noticed the colors, the buckle, and the scratch when she bent over her case.”

“Don’t you think it’s just a coincidence? Scratches like this . . .”

“Jeanette’s own belt was missing; she’s sure because it was black and this one’s two-tone. The brand is also the same as I bought. And the scratch, look. It’s very distinctive. And then there are the holes.” She pointed at the second-to-last one. “Look, that hole is stretched, so that’s the hole that’s been used. And when Jeanette put it on she had to move it out at least two holes, but Wanda was very thin around the waist.” She nodded with pursed lips. “This is Wanda’s belt, I just know it.”

Shirley’s otherwise light-colored face now turned darker. She was obviously frustrated and irritated and scared, all at the same time. A very dangerous cocktail.

Something began to stir in Pirjo’s diaphragm. The nerves and unpleasant feelings might not be visible, but she could feel them. She pushed her lips forward in thought. Not about how the belt could have ended up at the center, as Shirley must be thinking, but about how she would solve this problem, and if it couldn’t be sorted, about the safest way she could get rid of this life-threatening person.

“Can you understand it, Pirjo?” Shirley said, sounding suddenly lost.

Pirjo grabbed her chance and Shirley’s hand.

“There must be a natural explanation, Shirley. You’re sure Jeanette found the belt here at the center?”

She pointed over her shoulder. “Yes, up in her box in the Stable of Senses, like I said. Totally sure.”

“Did you see her get it?”

She pulled back a little. Maybe the tone had been a bit too harsh. It mustn’t sound like an interrogation.

“No, but why should she lie?”

“I don’t know, Shirley. I really don’t know.”

* * *

“Are you telling me that Shirley is here on a covert mission?” asked Atu. He pulled himself in to Pirjo’s body and caressed the downy skin around her belly button.

Pirjo put her hand against his cheek. When they were lying together like this, it was solely about their unity in relation to the baby in her womb. Even though Pirjo wished for it more than anything else, she and Atu had never been intimate since that one time they’d made love. Instead of lusting after her as a woman, he treated her like a delicate crystal, almost as if she was something sacred. Pirjo was no longer just his vestal and squire, but also the symbol of the incarnate fertility that would provide him with life and intimacy, not sex.

But Pirjo had her own ideas. When she’d given birth to the baby she’d implore him to impregnate her again. And she’d make sure it wasn’t successful straightaway, so she would get what she wanted. But first, threats had to be eliminated.

“I think it’s all an elaborate lie,” she said, putting her hand on his. “Jeanette must’ve been mistaken about the belt, and Shirley grabbed her chance. How much do we actually know about Shirley? She has to all intents hidden herself behind a mask of joviality and a sweet smile. She’s the woman who wants to find a new side to herself, or so we think. But she’s different from the others, Atu. She doesn’t have a spiritual character. She could be anything. Maybe even cunning, without us seeing it. A sly petty criminal with a plan. Maybe this business with Jeanette’s belt was just the chance she was waiting for ever since she got here. I’ve heard about other spiritual centers that’ve been subjected to threats and extortion, so why couldn’t it happen to us? She knows that there’s money in this venture.”

“All the same, don’t you think she’s too naive for that? I see her quite differently.”

“I’m worried that Shirley will end up threatening us with all sorts,” continued Pirjo. “She’s indicated that she’ll request to be accepted as a disciple when her course is finished, and now she knows there’s an empty room since Jeanette left. But we simply have to reject her when the time comes, is that okay, Atu?”

He nodded. “And when will that be?”

“In less than two months. She’s worked for us throughout the whole of the last period, so her course was extended. Don’t you remember her application? It was you who granted it.”

“Maybe we should wait and see. No doubt she’ll realize the business with the belt was a mistake before we take action.”

Pirjo nodded. That was Atu. In his elevated universe, and bordering on naivete, he saw the best in all people. But Pirjo knew better, and two months was too long when the questions were beginning to pile up. Of course, they could deny again and again all knowledge of the case to Shirley, but to what end if she got the police involved? And what if they found the body anyway? Through Shirley, there was suddenly a link between Wanda Phinn and the center. It was there the belt had been found.

She breathed deeply. “If Shirley’s insistent, I think we should stop her course immediately.”

“On what grounds, Pirjo?”

“That she’s disturbing the peace here. That we can’t find the right direction for her. That she doesn’t have what it takes, which I actually don’t believe she does.”

“Of course, I’ll listen to what you say.” He closed his eyes and pressed his cheek against her stomach.

The signal that he would leave the decision to her had been given.

That gave her room to maneuver.