The House on Cold Hill

38

Graham Norton was strutting around on the television screen, in an outrageous checked jacket of the kind a 1930s racetrack bookie might have worn. He cracked a joke about one of his guests, Nicole Kidman, who they could see in the green room, waiting to come on, and Caro laughed. Seated next to the actress was a young hunk Ollie did not recognize.

He was just pleased to hear Caro laugh. Neither of them seemed to have done much laughing recently.

Their bedroom, reeking of fresh paint and new plaster, was dark, the curtains drawn, the overhead light off. He felt desperately tired, drained. Caro was tired, too. Just a few minutes ago she had dozed off, but now she was awake again, watching the show. He had always loved their Friday nights in, with the whole weekend stretching out ahead of them. A time to unwind with frivolous television. Past favourites had been Have I Got News For You and Peep Show and now this.

After a few more minutes he found himself drifting off, then woke up with a start, some while later. Graham Norton was teasing an American actor whom Ollie recognized, but could not remember his name.

‘Who’s that guy?’ he asked Caro.

He turned towards her and saw she was asleep again.

‘Guy?’ she murmured.

‘It’s OK, doesn’t matter. Go back to sleep, babes.’

She blinked, staring at the screen. ‘Nightcrawler. We liked that film.’

‘Jake Gyllenhaal,’ he said.

‘Yes. Shlake Shillenhaal.’ Her eyes closed again.

He picked up the remote and turned the television off. Then he reached out and pressed the switch on his bedside light.

As the room became almost pitch dark he rolled over, slipped an arm under Caro’s pillow, then nestled up to her and kissed her on the cheek. ‘Night, my darling.’

‘Love you,’ she said.

‘Love you so much.’

He lay, holding her, for some minutes, then rolled onto his back. As he did so he heard a faint click, somewhere close by.

Something sent another ripple of shivers through him. He thought back to the message on his screen up in his office, earlier. The feeling that something had been in the room with him.

He had that same feeling now.

Goose pimples spread down his body; hard, icy, sharp as pins.

Right in front of the bed a green light was moving towards them.

Moving closer.

Closer.

Human height. An ethereal human form.

He was gripped with terror.

Closer still.

Closer.

‘GO, GO, GO!’ he yelled.

‘Wasser?’ Caro stirred, then she screamed, too, a deep, almost preternatural terror in her voice.

‘OLLIE! OLLIE!’

Closer still.

‘OLLIE!’

He flung his arm out for the light and sent the lamp, his glass of water and his clock radio crashing to the floor. ‘WHO ARE YOU?’ he yelled. ‘WHAT DO YOU WANT? GO AWAY!’

Then he heard a small voice: ‘Woooooo, wooooo, wooooo! I am the ghost of Cold Hill House!’

Jade’s voice, he realized.

Then she said, ‘Chill, Dad! Mum! GOTYA!’

An instant later the overhead light came on. He saw Jade holding up a torch inside a transparent green outfit of some kind draped over her head, standing by the door.

‘Christ, Jade!’ Ollie said.

Jade pulled the robe up and off, revealing her face, and stood there, grinning.

Caro lay still, too stunned to speak.

‘That is really, really, really not funny, darling,’ Ollie gasped.

Jade jigged up and down. ‘I’m the phantom of Cold Hill!’

Ollie moved to get out of bed, then realized he was stark naked. ‘Joke over, OK!’ he said sternly.

‘You scared me,’ Caro said. ‘You scared the hell out of me, darling.’

‘I thought I’d wear this at my party. What do you think?’

‘I think you should go to bed, NOW!’ Ollie said.

‘But do you like it, though, Dad?’

‘Go to bed. I’ll tell you what I think in the morning.’

‘I did scare you, though, didn’t I? A bit?’

‘Just go to bed, OK?’

‘Wooooo, woooooo wooooo!’ She pulled the robe over her head again. ‘Wooooooo, I am the ghost of Cold Hill House. Wooooooooooo!’

She danced out the room, closing the door behind her.

Ollie turned to look at Caro. She was staring, wide-eyed, up at the ceiling. ‘Well,’ he said. ‘Maybe that’s her way of dealing with it. At least she’s cool with all that’s been happening.’

‘Lucky her,’ Caro said.