The Only Witness

20

Qui-Gon looked up from his sleep couch in his quarters at the Jedi Temple to see his Padawan standing in the doorway.

“I thought you might like to come with me to see Lena,” he explained.

Obi-Wan shifted his feet slightly, and Qui-Gon was reminded of the young boy he had taken as a Padawan learner more than four years before.

Impatient and headstrong, but also unsure. They had come a long way since then. But at that moment Qui-Gon was very aware that the younger Jedi still sought his affection and approval. Qui-Gon could not blame him, and was even grateful. Soon enough Obi-Wan would be a Jedi Knight in his own right, and would no longer need him. For the moment, however, he was still a boy.

Things between them had not been very smooth of late, Qui-Gon knew.

He felt a twinge of guilt. He was not sure why it was so difficult for him to confide in the boy when it came to his feelings. Like many things, it simply was.

“I would like that,” Qui-Gon said, getting to his feet. “How is she doing?”

“The blow to her head when she fell was quite severe,” Obi-Wan replied. “But she is recovering well and is set to be released this afternoon. She is planning to return to Frego the day after tomorrow.”

Qui-Gon set his pace to match Obi-Wan’s as they made their way down the corridor. “Physical wounds heal quickly,” he said quietly. “It is the emotional ones that require more time.”

Qui-Gon was silent as they made their way down the hall. Then he spoke. “When Tahl died, the wound was so broad and so deep that I was certain I could not live. I could not go on. And in my pain I was blind to those around me—those who also loved and mourned Tahl.”

“I grieved her as well,” Obi-Wan said. “But I knew that my grief did not match yours, that it never would. I did not know how to help you. I was lost.”

Suddenly Qui-Gon stopped and turned to face his Padawan. “I am the one who was lost, Padawan. You were generous and patient with me. And I needed that patience. I still carry the wound I suffered when I lost Tahl. I will for the rest of my life.”

Obi-Wan nodded solemnly. “I know,” he said softly.

Qui-Gon placed a hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder. “I am grateful for your efforts to help me through my pain. For a long time I was not ready to hear your words, but you were still right to speak them. Thanks to you I have found myself again—I have found a way to go on. Your words … you are a comfort to me. Thank you.”

Obi-Wan let out a deep breath and smiled. “You’re welcome,” he said.